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February 29, 2008

We're Getting Colder, Not Warmer

If only global warming were real. Unfortunately temperatures are determined not by Al Gore's ideology, nor by the authoritarian bureauweenies who seek to exploit it, but by the Sun. Like the climate, the Sun's output naturally fluctuates — and it appears to be on the wane:

All four major global temperature tracking outlets (Hadley, NASA's GISS, UAH, RSS) have released updated data. All show that over the past year, global temperatures have dropped precipitously.

A compiled list of all the sources can be seen here. The total amount of cooling ranges from 0.65C up to 0.75C — a value large enough to wipe out most of the warming recorded over the past 100 years. All in one year's time. For all four sources, it's the single fastest temperature change ever recorded, either up or down.

In stark contrast to warming, cooling really is a problem:

Cold is more damaging than heat. The mean temperature of the planet is about 54 degrees. Humans — and most of the crops and animals we depend on — prefer a temperature closer to 70.

Historically, the warm periods such as the Medieval Climate Optimum were beneficial for civilization. Corresponding cooling events such as the Little Ice Age, though, were uniformly bad news.

A drop in temperatures would have only one benefit: in light of all the hysterical lies we've been told about global warming, at least a few people might learn better than to believe anything they're told by the media, the government, Al Gore or the United Nations.

On a tip from mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:53 AM | Comments (44)

Global Warming Looting Is Underway

The massive looting that the global warming hoax has been setting us up for is already underway in Alaska, where Eskimos are suing two dozen energy companies for supposedly causing climate fluctuation. The Kivalina tribe filed its suit in San Francisco, where its patent absurdity will be less of a liability.

According to the suit, everyone who contributes to the imaginary global warming crisis is guilty and can be forced to pay. Our Supreme Court has already issued the literally insane ruling that CO2, which comes out of our cars every time we drive and out of our mouths every time we breathe, is a pollutant that causes global warming.

If the Kivalina get their free fortune, the floodgates will open wide. Everyone is guilty, so everyone can be made to pay. Society will sue itself out of existence.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:02 AM | Comments (11)

Globe-Trotting Moonbat Barely Makes It across English Channel

The advance of moonbattery has suffered a minor setback in Calais, France, just across the English Channel from Britain:

A British man who aimed to walk from Bristol to Gandhi's birthplace in Porbander, India without spending any money has been forced to give up at Calais. Mark Boyle, 28, who began his trip with only t-shirt, sandals and a bandage four weeks ago, hoped that strangers along the way would provide him with food and places to stay. He is a member of the Freeconomy movement, which believes in a "moneyless society in which no money changes [hands] and there is no duality between giving and receiving", and would like to see money disappear altogether.

The epic journey came to an end when Calais residents correctly perceived Boyle to be a useless freeloader and refused to give him a handout. Maybe there's hope for the French after all.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:31 AM | Comments (23)

Script to Shrillary Texas Ad

Shrillary's Waterloo is coming up in Texas. Texan reader Lyle provides a slightly augmented script to her campaign ad below:

SCENE 1

(A camera shot looking up at a windmill that has its tail folded to prevent its full and normal operation. Instead, it turns slowly as if it's doing something, but actually produces no work.)

NARRATOR. In Texas, when there's work to be done, talk doesn't cut it. You gotta roll up your sleeves, stand your ground, and deliver. That's what Hillary Clinton does.

(Camera shot of Hillary in long sleeves, talking)

NARRATOR. She's fought for, and delivered: Coverage for uninsured children…

(Camera shot of uninsured illegal alien children)

NARRATOR. Health care and dignity for our veterans…

(Camera shot of veteran wounded by an enemy that garnered hope and support from the left incessantly tearing away at George Bush)

NARRATOR. And better schools and better teachers…

(Camera shot [no audio, since they are speaking Spanish] of teacher in an ESL)

NARRATOR. In Texas it's better done than said, and when it's all said and done, Hillary delivers.

(Audio insert: Hillary with a raspy voice, brought on by too much talking)

HILLARY. I'm Hillary Clinton and I approved this message.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:22 AM

Moonbats Plan to Reenact 1968

A moonbat cult calling itself Re-create 68 plans to liven up the Democrat convention in Denver this summer. Its schedule reflects an ambitious agenda:

During the Convention, there will be five major protest, one each day. Each protest will focus on a symptom of the disease of an Imperialist, Capitalist, Racist system as seen in our communities. Some of the proposed themes are as follows:

Sunday — End All Occupations at Home and Abroad
Monday — Human Rights/Free All Political Prisoners
Tuesday — No Warming
Wednesday — No Borders
Thursday — No Racism/Imperialism

At the "End the Occupations March & Rally," the moonbats will insist that America end its "illegal imperialist occupations in Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan, Puerto Rico, Haiti, Hawaii, North America, and others." Like Barack Insane Obaminable, they want the troops brought home immediately, and let the grownups worry about the consequences.

The Shake Your Moneymaker event will lay bare the whimsical larceny at the heart of liberalism:

It's time to redistribute the wealth. Between security and corporate pay-offs, the DNC will cost over 100 million dollars for a party. We think the people deserve that money. Join us as we encircle the Denver MInt (where U.S. currency is produced) and use our collective power to raise the mint building in the air and shake the money out of it for the people. Don't forget a sack to put all of your loot in.

Bring noise makers, energy, spells, magic, costumes anything that gives you power, we will need it!

What's really going to be needed are water cannons. Let's hope the Denver police don't hesitate to use them.

Hat tips: Slapstick Politics, The Drunkablog.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:53 AM | Comments (17)

U.N. Forbids U.S. to Clean Up New Orleans Ghettoes

The same United Nations that put the socialist basket case Zimbabwe in charge of the Sustainable Development Commission has seen fit to tell Americans how we should run our country, condemning us for trying to clean up ghettoes:

Two human rights experts for the United Nations on Thursday criticized a federal plan to raze public housing projects in New Orleans, saying it will force the predominantly black residents into homelessness.

New Orleans advocates clamoring to save 4,500 public housing units claimed a victory. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, which wants to replace the decades-old housing projects with mixed-income, mixed-use development, called the U.N. experts "misinformed."

"Misinformed" might be the kindest adjective that can be applied to the United Nations.

What the U.N. really needs is its own country to run, to show us all how well its enlightened leftist principles would work. Since it knows just what to do with New Orleans, why not turn the city over to U.N. jurisdiction? They can have Detroit too. That way the residents would no longer be oppressed by capitalism — though they would still no doubt live off money expropriated from hard-working Americans.

On a tip from Sean M.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:17 AM | Comments (9)

Medea Benjamin Cries for Help from Marines

Head harpy Medea Benjamin has led the charge against Berkeley's U.S. Marines recruiting office for Code Pinko, asserting that if it weren't for the colony of moonbats laying siege to the Marines, "we'd be living under Hitler." But then, as Marine Eamon Kelley reports:

While we were at the protest in Berkeley from 12 to 4 PM a white volvo drove by and a man spat upon code pink. They chased him down the street and got into a verbal altercation. The police were NO WHERE in sight. That's not the best part, ready for this? Medea Benjamin yelled and I quote "Marines!" she actually yelled for our help because this man had stepped out of his car. Lol. I even asked her if she was yelling Police and she told me "I said Marines" then put her arm around my friend Allen (the Marine vet)

Not that this will surprise any Moonbattery readers, who have predicted that in a crisis, Berkeley moonbats would look like a nest of baby birds, mouths wide open to plead for help from the military — which they know they would receive, despite not deserving it.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin, on tips from WZ and Burning Hot.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:46 AM | Comments (15)

Inferior Zero-Emission Buses Cost 32 Times as Much to Operate as Diesel

This should give you an idea of the scale of waste entailed in the global warming farce. In an $18 million state-mandated pilot project, the (Silicon) Valley Transportation Authority tested zero-emission buses and found the following:

Zero-emission buses — or ZEBs — cost $51.66 to fuel, maintain and operate per mile compared with just $1.61 for a 40-foot conventional diesel coach. They break down much more frequently, and replacement parts are next to impossible to order[…] Although the cost of a new hydrogen-fuel-cell bus has fallen from about $3.5 million to $2.5 million, a diesel coach costs about $400,000. And ZEBs have on average traveled 1,100 miles before needing repairs in the VTA trial, while a typical diesel bus covers about 6,000 miles.

You would think, in a democracy, this would inspire the bureaucrats to back off from the preposterous ZEB boondoggle, before they get run out of town on a rail.

But the California Air Resources Board is poised next year to launch a $36 million second phase of the hydrogen program, adding 12 more buses in the Bay Area and expanding it to include Golden Gate Transit.

Analifa Bevan with CARB said her agency "is not considering any changes," pointing out that the VTA experiment involves early prototypes and that the next generation of buses will be more reliable and "cheaper to operate than diesel."

Sure they will. Apparently Analifa assumes that if the peasants will believe incandescent light bulbs cause global warming, they'll swallow absolutely anything.

Hat tip: Interested-Participant, on a tip from Burning Hot.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:04 AM | Comments (6)

February 28, 2008

Cold Moves in, Windmills Fail to Provide Enough Power

The global warming crisis isn't real, but problems caused by moonbatty solutions to it are. A case in point:

A drop in wind generation late on Tuesday, coupled with colder weather, triggered an electric emergency that caused the Texas grid operator to cut service to some large customers, the grid agency said on Wednesday.

Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT) said a decline in wind energy production in west Texas occurred at the same time evening electric demand was building as colder temperatures moved into the state.

Warm as it may be in Al Gore's apocalyptic fantasies, in the real world it gets cold, even in Texas, and people need power from reliable sources.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:15 PM | Comments (14)

Barney Frank Moves to Socialize Housing

Any problem, real or imagined, is an opportunity for Democrats to push us closer to socialism. The subprime mortgage crisis is no exception. Rep. Barney Frank is introducing legislation to give the government ownership of people's homes:

House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank wants to provide about $15 billion over the next five years to let the government buy homes after investors holding the pool of mortgages write down the value of the mortgage.

The plan would require a "federal entity," perhaps the U.S. mortgage insurance provider, the Federal Housing Administration, to buy owner-occupied primary residences and insure them against default.

Frank is going to stick it good to those lousy capitalists who expect people to repay loans:

"I am not talking about the holders of the loans taking a haircut," the Massachusetts Democrat said. "I am talking about them having lobotomies."

Like any good socialist, Frank knows better than to let the markets correct themselves when he can increase taxpayers' dependence on government by using their own money to create perverse incentives.

Frank is also working on another plan to provide as much as $20 billion in grants and loans to buy foreclosed and abandoned homes at or below market value to stabilize home prices.

Of course, government "help" must be mandatory:

"The voluntary efforts are not accomplishing much," Frank said.

Frank's own home was used as the base for a prostitution ring run by his homosexual lover. Soon he may have control of yours.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 5:52 PM | Comments (8)

Planned Parenthood Accepts Donations Targeting Black Babies for Abortion

It's too late to donate to Adolf Hitler, but the abortion mill Planned Parenthood is still around and accepting all major credit cards. If racial genocide is your cup of tea, just select the ethnic group you would like exterminated and pick up the phone:

The Advocate has more information.

On tips from Farmer Ted and Bill V.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:58 PM | Comments (21)

Spanking Alleged to Cause Sexual Perversion

Isn't it remarkable how academic researchers and the large scientific societies — dominated by the sort of politically correct weenies who infest bureaucracies everywhere — are able to find whatever liberals would like found? Today's example:

An analysis of four studies by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire-Durham, found that children who suffer physical punishment in the form of spanking, hitting or slapping are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior as adults, it is reported by USA Today.

The study, presented Thursday to the American Psychological Association, suggests that spanked children also are more likely to be "physically or verbally coercing" to a sexual partner and engage in masochistic sex, including arousal by spanking, later in life.

This must explain why sexual perversion is so rare among moonbats, since they disapprove of spanking their kids.

On tips from nanc and Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:39 PM | Comments (18)

Media Throws Bias into Overdrive to Get Obama the Nomination

So much for subtlety:

Look out, McCain. Despite your years of pandering to the liberal media, you will get the same treatment once Osamabama has the nomination wrapped up. It's already beginning.

Via Ace of Spades HQ, on a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:22 PM | Comments (5)

McCain Not Quite Left Enough for the Nutroots

Left. He even has a couple of supporters at the Nutroots fever swamp Democratic Underground. But true puritan William Pitt considers it an outrage that any DU reader would consider voting for a Republican — even a liberal Republican who will be running against a clearly unqualified adolescent fool. Watch out for spittle spray, here goes Pitt:

If I see another poster in this godforsaken testical-kick of a forum say they hope the GOP wins the White House in November, I will personally burn your fucking house down, drive your car into the nearest available bridge strut, ruin your credit, deflower your chicadee, manhandle your couch cushions after eating lye with my bare hands, and make you watch while I sit down in the charred wasteland of your former livingroom and punch myself in the face over and over and over and over and over again, until the chicadee throws in the towel or until you pee your pants and promise never to do it again.

Why is he so upset? McCain stands for colonization by Mexico, federal regulation of political speech, coddling terrorists, suffocating restrictions on domestic oil drilling, and massive tax increases to be justified by the global warming hoax. Is it that — unlike Obamination — McCain won't turn over Iraq to al Qaeda? No, it goes deeper:

The Supreme Court matters, assbag. Choice matters. Lather rinse repeat.

McCain could threaten the sacred liberal rite of abortion, by appointing judges unwilling to pretend it's protected by the Constitution. As a result of his respect for human life, Lettuce is regarded as unacceptable by those who regard themselves as the high priests of moonbattery.

Hat tip: DUmmie FUnnies, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:01 PM | Comments (6)

Senate Candidate Wants to Arrest President Bush

The corrosion of moonbattery is reducing American politics to a sideshow. In Maine, U.S. Senate candidate Laurie Dobson wants the President and Vice President of the United States to be arrested by local authorities if either shows up in Kennebunkport, where Bush's parents own a summer home.

The crimes committed by our nation's leaders evidently have to do with oppressing the nice terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan. Dobson got the idea of having them arrested from moonbat-infested Brattleboro, Vermont.

The same mass insanity that produces flakes like Laurie Dobson may soon sweep into office President Barack Hussein Obama. At least B.O. won't have to worry about getting arrested for war crimes if he visits Kennebunkport.

On a tip from Nedyeh.

Update:

Via Cristy Li, this Laurie Dobson campaign collage should prove fascinating to moonbatologists:

Osamabamadingdong couldn't find a more suitable running mate without liberating one from a mental asylum.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:55 AM | Comments (20)

BBC Complicit After the Fact in Terror Attack

If the BBC's haughty irresponsibility and liberal sympathy for any enemy of Western Civilization isn't criminal, it ought to be. The Telegraph reports on the trial of Mohammed Hamid, who was involved in the July 21, 2005 terror attack on London:

A BBC producer failed to give police information that would have helped track down the July 21 bombers, the trial was told.

Don't Panic, I'm Islamic, which featured the group paintballing and an interview with Mohammed Hamid, was shown on BBC2 on June 12, 2005.

Nasreen Suleaman, the producer, told the court that Hamid said he would use his £300 fee to settle the fine he had been given by magistrates for racially abusing two policemen at his Oxford Street stall.

Called as a defence witness, Miss Suleaman admitted that she had spoken to Hamid in the days following the July 21 attacks and found out he knew the wanted men.

She said she thought he was scared the fugitives might try to call him but did not contact the police because she felt under "no obligation" to do so.

Miss Suleaman claimed she told BBC managers of the situation but no one passed on the information to the authorities.

Of course, we couldn't expect the BBC to take sides against "freedom fighters" by lifting a finger to help authorities defend the civilian population from terrorists.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:27 AM | Comments (7)

Probation for Murdering Baby

Having established the "right" to abort babies, it was inevitable our degenerating society would soon find it permissible to kill them after they've been born. In suburban Chicago, a teenager who deliberately suffocated her baby has gotten off with less than a wrist slap.

For taking another person's life, the unnamed 16-year-old has received probation, "mandatory counseling" and 100 hours of community service — at a day-care center. The poor murderess is getting treated for "post-traumatic stress disorder."

Within a generation or two, we will have left token punishments behind, and it will be perfectly acceptable to kill babies for crying too loudly. Holland is practically there already.

On a tip from Sam Houston.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:03 AM | Comments (12)

Compact Fluorescents Are Hazardous to Children

The overpriced, dim, flickering compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) that we will soon be forced to use in the name of the environment are a major environmental hazard due to the mercury they contain.

The Boston Globe admits that the bulbs pose a "risk of mercury poisoning to infants, young children, and pregnant women if they break." But homeowners are urged to use them anyway, even before they become mandatory, "because their energy-saving benefits far outweigh the risk posed by mercury released from a broken lamp."

Parents should be the judge of that, not the Kool-Aid–guzzling liberal nitwits at the Boston Globe, nor the corrupt bureaucrats who are imposing the deficient bulbs not in an insane attempt to improve the weather, but to posture, and to please the deep-pocketed corporations like GE that market CFLs. (GE has used its ownership of NBC to advance the global warming hoax at every opportunity, as part of a strategy of having its products made mandatory.)

In some states broken bulbs must be disposed of as hazardous waste, a time-consuming and expensive undertaking. In Massachusetts it will soon be illegal to throw away even intact CFLs.

It's recommended consumers not use CFLs in table lamps that could be knocked over by children (as if we will have a choice after 2012). If a bulb breaks over carpet, you are advised to cut out the part of the carpet that has been contaminated. It may look a little funny, but think of the polar bears you can pretend you are saving!

On tips from Dave D, V the K and mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:33 AM | Comments (12)

PETA Outraged: Terror Attack Might Have Frightened Birds

Sri Lanka's Tamil Tiger terrorists have gone to far, incurring the righteous wrath of PETA by launching a grenade attack on innocent civilians at a zoo (many presumably children) that unconscionably might have startled some birds.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, said in a letter dated Feb. 15 to Velupillai Prabhakaran, the reclusive rebel leader, that "the explosive device that was set off near the zoo's bird enclosures terrified many animals at the zoo."

PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk pleaded with the rebel leader "to leave animals out of this conflict," the letter said.

At least four people were wounded. It's also probable that some birds were momentarily frightened.

Even liberal icon Yasser Arafat had to endure Newkirk's disapproval when a donkey was used in a terror attack. Newkirk is famous for her immortal words,

A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.

However, boys and girls obviously rank much lower than donkeys and birds where PETA is concerned.

Hat tips: Coyote Blog, The QandO Blog. On a tip from Burning Hot.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:47 AM | Comments (11)

Hollywood's Pro-Terrorism Ribbons

Small wonder few people still watch the Oscars, where vile Hollyweird glitterpigs dress in their most extravagant finery and congratulate themselves for being such sophomoric moonbats. Check out their latest fashion accessory:

New York Fashion explains the orange ribbons:

Did you notice the orange ribbon pinned to Julie Christie's dress and Paul Haggis's lapel at the Oscars? It was a lovely little accessory to show their support for the closing of the Guantánamo Bay prison because of the U.S. government's controversial interrogation tactics there. The orange represents the jumpsuits worn by the prisoners and is also the color of a rubber bracelet worn by Haggis that reads "torture+silence=complicity" included in the Oscar swag bag. Organizations like the ACLU, which sponsors the Close Guantanamo campaign, ask stars to don these stamps of activism well in advance so that they have enough time to consult with their stylists.

Far from being mistreated, the hard-core terrorists at Club Gitmo are growing fat on the gourmet halal food they are given. The only people abused there are the guards. Desperate for grounds to complain, one terrorist issued an official torture allegation over having to use unscented soap and balls being underinflated in the rec room.

But none of that matters. The point for Tinseltown is to show its solidarity with Muslim terrorists, because America is bad.

Hat tip: The Jawa Report. On tips from Oiao and V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:14 AM | Comments (10)

February 27, 2008

Moonbats Lament Spread of English Language

A third of the planet is predicted to be learning English within the next decade. In response, the BBC presents a British bureauweenie who shares its horror that English has become the lingua franca.

UK Education Secretary, Charles Clarke, has warned against the "arrogance" of English speakers who fail to learn other languages. […] "To be quite candid, I'm the first to acknowledge there is an immense amount to do," said Mr Clarke. "Not least to contest the arrogance that says English is the world language and we don't have to worry about it — which I think is dangerous and pernicious."

Clarke wants people to speak Chinese, Arabic and Spanish. While he and the Beebsters flaunt their lack of linguistic pride, India is raising itself up out of centuries of miserable poverty largely because people finally understand each other in that polyglot country, now that so many of them speak English as a second language.

On a tip from Eric.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:16 PM | Comments (20)

Shrillary Forgot to Emphasize Her "Warmth and Likability"

The lack of an even remotely acceptable presidential candidate, combined with WFB's passing, makes it hard to keep the spirits up. Since laughter is the best antidote for times like this, here's another howler:

Edwards Advisor: Hillary Should Have Emphasized Her "Warmth and Likability"

Chris Kofinis, the Breck Girl's former communications director, gibbers that while she was getting left in the dust by Osama Obambi, the Ice Queen should have been

…focusing on her likability, her humanness, her compassion and her real warmth, I think that would have been a much smarter strategy…

Bwahahahaha! Thanks for cheering us up, Chris!

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:32 PM | Comments (23)

William F. Buckley Jr., RIP

The world is a poorer place today, as a result of William F. Buckley Jr. having passed away. Buckley is famous for his intention to stand "athwart history, yelling Stop" — by which he meant, stop the advance of the moonbattery that has been steadily eroding our civilization.

At the time he founded National Review in 1955, Buckley's task seemed hopeless, as nearly everyone regarded the pointless slavery of socialism to be humanity's inevitable fate. Yet thanks to the life Buckley breathed into it, conservatism staged a remarkable comeback, culminating in the Reagan Administration.

Today Western Civilization's situation seems hopeless once again. But we owe it to William Buckley to carry on the struggle.

No doubt Daily Kos, HuffPo et al. are brimming over with satanic glee at the death of this great man. At the moment, I don't have the stomach to look.

On tips from Byron and Conan in Iraq.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:17 PM | Comments (21)

Berkeley Businesses Suffer for Moonbat Outrages

Berkeley is like the rest of the world in one respect: honest people trying to create wealth with their businesses pay the price for moonbattery:

BERKELEY — People who are angry at city leaders for their anti-military stance are taking it out on businesses — canceling hotel rooms, restaurant reservations and theater tickets.

They are writing letters to the Berkeley Chamber of Commerce outlining their plans to boycott the city.

And they are steering clear of downtown shops because of the weekly anti-war protests that in recent weeks have become increasingly volatile.

Two weeks after the Berkeley City Council refused to apologize to the U.S. Marine Corps for calling them "uninvited and unwelcome intruders," Berkeley businesses are feeling the backlash from people who don't want to spend their money in the city.

No doubt Code Pinko and World Can't Wait communists will see this as an added benefit of the siege they have laid to the Marines recruiting office, with the active assistance of the municipal government.

Once again, Berkeley demonstrates why every community has a vested interest in stamping out moonbattery before it can metastasize out of control.

On a tip from dpt.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:42 PM | Comments (17)

Obama Gets a Mouthful

You can't say Obama has never accomplished anything. With help from the media, he's pretty much put an end to the nightmare of Clintons in the White House, inspiring this float for Germany's Fasching:

Compliments of Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:15 PM | Comments (17)

Quote of the Day

As we watch our civilization voluntarily swirl down the toilet of moonbattery, at least we can console ourselves with laughter. EU Commission spokesman Johannes Laitenberger provides a howler:

European Commission competence is not negotiable.

Just using "European Commission" and "competence" in the same sentence is good for a few snickers. The quote comes in the context of the Czech Republic wanting to enter into a bilateral air security pact with the USA, as if it were still a sovereign country and not subordinate to the EU.

On a tip from mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:02 PM | Comments (5)

Filmmakers Exploit Young Daughters in Depraved Documentary

Moonbats may wonder: what is the right age to start immersing children in the world of homosexual activists, AIDS, condoms, sex toys, prostitutes, cross-dressers and transgendered freakazoids? Age 4 is not too young, according to the makers of the documentary "Please Talk to Kids about AIDS":

In it, two incredibly sweet and precocious sisters — Vineeta and Sevilla Hennessey, ages 6 and 4 — accompany their parents, the filmmakers, to the 2006 International AIDS Conference in Toronto. They interview top AIDS experts, gay activists, condom distributors, a sex toy saleswoman, a cross-dresser playing Queen Elizabeth II and an Indian transgender hijra in a sari.

The startling aspect is that, as one childish question leads to the next, they ask things like: "How does AIDS get into your body?" and "How come they want to have sex with each other?"

For a reporter, it is a guilty pleasure to see some of the world's leading scientists squirm — or not — when grilled by a child.

The reporter who smirks with "guilty pleasure" over the discomfort of decent people when a 4-year-old girl queries them about sickeningly depraved sex acts is Donald G. McNeil, Jr. Unsurprisingly, he reports for the New York Times.

The innocence progressives get such a kick out of corrupting doesn't last long:

At one point, Vineeta draws for the camera a picture of two people in bed. "These are condoms," she explains of the bowl beside them, "that you put in the boy's penis, so they don't get AIDS with a woman or with a man. A man can do it with a man if you like it."

Maybe apocalyptic global warming dogma comes from a subconscious awareness among liberals that they deserve some sort of Bible-scale punishment for their staggering moral vileness.

On a tip from BMc.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:25 AM | Comments (10)

John McCain Apologizes for B.O.'s Middle Name

While warming up a campaign crowd for John "Lettuce" McCain, radio talker Bill Cunningham took the opportunity to "club the baby seal" by laying into Barack Hussein Obama, even going so far as to refer to him as "Barack Hussein Obama." Lettuce was quick to apologize.

Asked whether the use of Obama's middle name — the same as former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein — is proper, McCain said: "No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate."

McCain said he didn't know who decided to allow Cunningham to speak but said he was sure it was in coordination with his campaign. He said he didn't hear the comments and has never met Cunningham, but "I will certainly make sure that nothing like that happens again."

As noted earlier, Obama owes his current success to having a name that combines those of America's two most prominent enemies of the past decade. Other than having a slick tongue and being mulatto, he possesses no other qualifications. But in the general election, reminding people of terrorists will no longer be the advantage it is in Democrat primaries.

Cunningham also ridiculed Obama's plans to powwow with dictators and state sponsors of terror, envisioning a future in which

the great prophet from Chicago takes the stand and the world leaders who want to kill us will simply be singing Kumbaya together around the table with Barack Obama.

Apparently such a harsh rhetoric will be banished by the McLame campaign. While it's noble of McCain to want to keep a high tone, if this signifies fear of being portrayed by the media as picking on the black guy, Republicans might has well start thinking ahead to 2012 right now — as conservatives already have.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:34 AM | Comments (20)

Hippy Moonbat Photo Gallery

In case you were wondering what progressives are progressing toward, this should offer some clues. Via SocialDailyNews.com:

I'll bet they're keeping their carbon footprints nice and small. What inspiring examples for us all.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:48 AM | Comments (27)

As Temperatures Plummet, Westchester County Promises to Save the Planet from Global Warming

At last we are beginning to emerge from one of the coldest winters in the last 50 years. Snow levels have set records across North America and Asia, as have the frigid temperatures. In China, the cold and ice have left cities without power. Arctic ice has been thickening, forcing deadly polar bears to encroach on human habitations, where they dig through garbage for something to eat. Scientists who study solar cycles warn there may be colder still to come.

In light of all this, it's only natural that Westchester County, New York would step up its efforts to save the world from global warming by promising to cut emissions of harmless CO2 by an outlandish 80%. According to County Executive Andrew Spano, the county website will help bring about this impressive accomplishment by advising people on what kind of cars to buy, light bulbs to buy, etc.

Spano, a Democrat, brushed aside concerns from George Oros, R-Cortlandt, the minority leader on the Board of Legislators, who questioned why the county had spent $100,000 on an environmental consultant that donated heavily to Spano's campaign when the project started out as an all-volunteer effort.

"We did not pay them enough money for the work that they did," Spano said of First Environment Inc., a Boonton, N.J., company. "Westchester … is a $2 billion company. It's spending a minuscule amount on global warming. It should be reversed, because if the effects of global warming occur, our expenditures on everything else are minuscule."

North Castle Supervisor Reese Berman has provided inspiration by invoking Martin Luther King Jr.'s notion of the "fierce urgency of now." They'd better hurry up, all right. The colder it gets, the fewer dupes will be dumb enough to buy into the socialist crusade against nice weather.

On tips from Wiggins and V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:58 AM | Comments (10)

February 26, 2008

Quote of the Day

Former Bill Clinton press secretary Dee Dee Myers on Good Morning America (via NewsBusters), referring to Hillary Clinton:

I think so many women in positions of authority — and she's certainly one of them -- have to walk that fine line between being authoritative and being a bitch. And she you know, she hasn't always succeeded.

I'll say. What's remarkable is that ABC chose to air the clip, though they did bleep out the B word. Apparently the MSM's heart has found a new home.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:55 PM | Comments (34)

Moonbat University

A concept of higher education has been established that caters to the needs of moonbats so perfectly, it should free up conventional universities to be reclaimed by grownups. Oaksterdam University, in San Francisco's still more liberal sister city Oakland, is a trade school that specializes in the only skill true moonbats need, once they've mastered the task of filling out welfare forms:

The school prepares people for jobs in California's thriving medical marijuana industry. For $200 and the cost of two required textbooks, students learn how to cultivate and cook with cannabis, study which strains of pot are best for certain ailments, and are instructed in the legalities of a business that is against the law in the eyes of the federal government.

"My basic idea is to try to professionalize the industry and have it taken seriously as a real industry, just like beer and distilling hard alcohol," said Richard Lee, 45, an activist and pot-dispensary owner who founded the school in a downtown storefront last fall.

Given that the students tend actual marijuana plants, you might think the authorities would be interested. Guess again:

Michael Chapman, an assistant agent in charge with the Drug Enforcement Agency's San Francisco office, said authorities are aware of Oaksterdam U and don't see any reason to shut it down. Talking about marijuana is not illegal, and while a small amount of pot is kept on the premises, the DEA tries "to concentrate our case work on the most significant violators," he said.

Besides, the school helps keep people busy who might otherwise end up doing much more damage by teaching political science next door in Berkeley.

On a tip from mike h.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:41 PM | Comments (16)

B.O. Masters Space-Time Continuum

Barack Hussein Obama has been getting a little carried away with his "Vote for me, I'm black" rhetoric:

The Pajama Pack comments:

It seems hard to imagine how the story as related by Sen. Obama could be true, considering the fact that he was born on August 4, 1961. The marches in Selma, Alabama didn't begin until March 7, 1965. Also, his birth date would indicate that he was conceived in late 1960. This would seem to preclude the notion that Obama's grandfather was inspired by the words of John and Robert Kennedy to send Barack Obama, Sr. on a plane to America in an airlift they instituted in order to bring young African men to our shores. If there were any inspiring words and airlifts, they would have had to be uttered and instituted by Dwight Eisenhower[…]

So, here we have a candidate who has an incredible ability to connect with audiences, and manipulate the space-time continuum. I really don't know how the hell you beat that.

Lettuce McCain has got his work cut out for him.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:11 PM | Comments (20)

Cleaning Up from Socialized Medicine

Socialized medicine isn't always a complete disaster. Not only did Britain's Angelique Sutcliffe have her baby delivered for free (not counting a lifetime of extravagant taxes), but she gets a £5 million bonus, courtesy of other taxpayers, as compensation for having been injected with cleaning fluid while in the hospital.

There's been a downside, though: severe neurological damage that has left her in a wheelchair.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:01 AM | Comments (12)

U.K. Global Warming Hoaxers Move toward Absolute Control

British totalitarians now want to impose cap-and-trade lunacy on individuals, giving everyone a "carbon allowance" so that they don't emit too much utterly harmless CO2. This would exceed the wildest dreams of Stalin and Hitler, giving authoritarian bureaucrats absolute control over every aspect of our existence, all in the name of a manufactured crisis with zero validity.

This appalling attempt to squash out the last vestiges of liberty has actually been endorsed by U.K. environment secretary David Miliband. The British government is currently exploring the feasibility of imposing it.

Even the Boston Globe admits:

Carbon dioxide is an inevitable byproduct of most modern human activities.

This should be corrected to read: "an inevitable byproduct of ALL human activities." Our very breath contains CO2. Fortunately, it is absolutely harmless. In fact, plants need it to live.

If there were such a thing as global warming caused by greenhouse gases, the culprit would be water vapor, not CO2. But don't tell the bureauweenies from Airstrip One, or they'll ban hot showers.

The individual emission caps would be lowered each year, so that we are allowed to exist less and less until eventually we don't exist at all.

As always, scratch the green skin and you will find communist red underneath:

One of the main attractions of this idea is its equity. The outsized carbon footprints of the wealthy — those who fly by private jet and live in McMansions — would come with an extra price tag, so the penalty would fall on the people most able to afford it. The poor, who generate much lower emissions, could actually turn a profit by selling their surplus.

In other words, leftists hope to use the phony crisis to impose coercive wealth redistribution. What the Soviet Union with all its nuclear weapons never managed to accomplish, the squishy, lying moonbats who run our bureaucracies and bring us our "news" still might.

On a tip from baldeagle390.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:13 AM | Comments (17)

With Obama, "Change" Means More of the Same

Moonbat actress Susan Sarandon supports Barack Obama, impressed with his ethnicity and Muslim name, and "can't wait to see what he stands for." But what he stands for is already public record: more of the same. More taxing, more spending, more explosive growth for the federal behemoth.

He has extravagant plans to increase spending on:

• Subsidized college education
• Early Head Start
• After-school programs
• Substance abuse and mental health counseling
• Mortgage bailouts
• Subsidized housing
• Feel-good programs like "Promise Neighborhoods" that flush money down ghettoes
• Services for Iraqi refugees
• Foreign assistance (to be doubled to $50 billion)

Paying for all this will require raising taxes. He'll start with Social Security payroll taxes.

Oh, and B.O. also has plans to meddle in local radio programming.

Homeland security is where he runs out of plans. "Hope for the best" sums up the policy. As for Iran, if it nukes Israel Obambi might "step up our economic pressure and political isolation." Ahmadinejad must be cackling with glee, wringing his oily hands as he awaits Jimmy Carter II.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:08 AM | Comments (32)

Greenpeace Kooks Make Mockery of Heathrow Security

This doesn't do much to reassure passengers regarding the state of security at British airports:

Four activists from environmental campaigners Greenpeace breached security at London Heathrow to stage a protest on top of a jet against the airport's planned expansion, the group said Monday.

The activists climbed on top of a British Airways Boeing 777 plane which had just landed from Manchester at around 0945 GMT and unfurled a huge banner across the tailfin reading: "Climate Emergency — No Third Runway".

Moonbats demand that humanity contract, not expand. The "Climate Emergency" refers of course to the farcical global warming hoax, which environmental militants will doggedly take seriously well into the next ice age.

It reportedly took 90 minutes for authorities to arrest the trespassing environazis. Let's hope al Qaeda isn't watching.

But we don't need to worry too much. After all, terrorism allegedly poses "far less risk than obesity, type two diabetes and smoking-related illnesses."

Less than seven years after 9/11, we've nodded off to sleep while fretting about obesity and harmless carbon emissions, as Islamists plan their next attack.

Hat tips: Michelle Malkin, The Jawa Report; on tips from Burning Hot, Wiggins and Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:07 AM | Comments (13)

February 25, 2008

Words of Wisdom from the U.K.

Not all Britons are too immobilized by moonbattery even to object as Europe succumbs to Islam. Here's a refreshing splash of sanity from Pat Condell:

On a tip from crispy.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:28 PM | Comments (39)

Despite the Cold, Global Warming Attacks French Truffles

Global warmer hoaxers are running low on problems to blame on the nonexistent global warming crisis. Now USA Today would have us believe it is depriving Frenchmen of their beloved truffles:

Farmers say production is down by 50-75% this winter season and they blame global warming, warning that if thermometers keep rising — as many scientists predict they could — France's black truffle will one day be just a memory.

Ignoring the fact that a drought in the 1960s cut the truffle harvest in half, truffle-snuffler Jean Montesano seems to swallow the notion that the climate was always stable until Al Gore discovered global warming:

Climate change has got the seasons out of whack, it's hotter than it used to be and it rains lots less. I want my grandson to take over, but if things continue like this, who knows if there will be anything left.

Meanwhile, in the real world, snow over North America and much of Asia is at its highest level since 1966. Many American cities suffered record cold this winter. China has endured its most brutal winter in a century. The real estate market in Ontario and Quebec has literally frozen due to the cold. Toronto received more snow in the first two weeks of February than the previous record for the entire month. Arctic Sea ice is 10–20 cm thicker than last year.

Based on their study of solar activity, Oleg Sorokhtin of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences and Kenneth Tapping of Canada's National Research Council predict that we could be in for a prolonged period of severe cold. Soon USA Today reporters may be climbing atop igloos to yell about how global warming is curdling the truffles.

On tips from mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:09 PM | Comments (9)

Kids Suspended for Wearing Crucifixes

In Oregon, wearing a crucifix can now get you suspended from school:

Jaime Salazar, 14, his friend Marco Castro, 16, were suspended from South Albany High School recently after they refused to put away the crucifixes they were wearing around their necks.

The kids say the crucifixes were gifts from their mothers. Educrats say they are gang symbols.

Here's another extract, from a source conservative readers might recognize:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…

The Founding Fathers must have forgotten to add, "unless someone decides crucifixes are a gang symbol."

Maybe next combing your hair a certain way will be a gang symbol. Will the authorities shave everyone's heads?

The smart gangs will adopt the star and crescent as a symbol. No educrats could ban that without risking the wrath of the ACLU.

On tips from Wiggins, Cheetah and Oiao.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:32 PM | Comments (13)

Behind Obama's Vapid Rhetoric, Two Unhinged Moonbats

Who is hiding behind Barack Obama's vapid rhetoric? We'd better find out fast if he's friend or foe, before he exploits our moonbattery to take control of the country. A piece at Asia Times Online looks for clues by studying the women in his life.

It's not a bad place to start, considering that B.O.'s mother was abandoned by his father soon after his birth. Anthropologist Ann Dunham went native and married Kenyan Barack Obama Sr., who shortly thereafter went back to his true love, the bottle waiting for him in Africa. Dunham was described by friends as a "fellow traveler" — i.e., a fifth-column communist sympathizer, drunk on ultra-left politics. Despite the Muslim name that makes him so appealing to liberals in the aftermath of 9/11, Islam isn't what makes Barack Hussein frightening:

The probable next president of the United States is a mother's revenge against the America she despised. […] Radical anti-Americanism, rather than Islam, was the reigning faith in the Dunham household. […] Barack Obama is a clever fellow who imbibed hatred of America with his mother's milk, but worked his way up the elite ladder of education and career. He shares the resentment of Muslims against the encroachment of American culture, although not their religion. He has the empathetic skill set of an anthropologist who lives with his subjects, learns their language, and elicits their hopes and fears while remaining at emotional distance. That is, he is the political equivalent of a sociopath. The difference is that he is practicing not on a primitive tribe but on the population of the United States.

His wife is another nefarious influence. The opportunities for power and wealth America has provided her have been repaid with contempt by Michelle Obama, who considers Whitey the enemy even at liberal Princeton, and knows Barack well enough not to fall for the hype:

No matter what the good intentions of Princeton, which founded her fortunes as a well-paid corporate lawyer, she wrote, "My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my 'Blackness' than ever before. I have found that at Princeton no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my White professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong."

Never underestimate the influence of a wife who bitch-slaps her husband in public. Early in Obama's campaign, Michelle Obama could not restrain herself from belittling the senator. "I have some difficulty reconciling the two images I have of Barack Obama. There's Barack Obama the phenomenon. He's an amazing orator, Harvard Law Review, or whatever it was, law professor, best-selling author, Grammy winner. Pretty amazing, right? And then there's the Barack Obama that lives with me in my house, and that guy's a little less impressive," she told a fundraiser in February 2007. […] New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd reported at the time, "She added that the TV version of Barack Obama sounded really interesting and that she'd like to meet him sometime."

For whatever neurotic reasons, this nasty woman feels "desperate […] frustration and disappointment" with America. Get ready to have that taken out on you.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:20 PM | Comments (38)

Self-Censorship at HuffPo

The moonbats running Huffington Post must have gotten the word to keep a lid on the vicious, festering insanity that characterizes the Left until after the elections. A week ago they posted on Nancy Reagan falling down and having to be taken to the hospital. As always, any mention of misfortune befalling someone identified with conservatism set the HuffPo crowd barking with glee. But if you look now, every single comment reads COMMENT REMOVED.

What could the Nutroots have been saying about Nancy Reagan — wife of our greatest 20th-century President, who is regarded by many as the greatest American of all time — that was so obscene even a sewer like HuffPo would censor it? Right Wing News was there before the boom came down, and recorded a few of the comments for posterity. A sample:

It is fitting that those who remember this vile woman and her equally vile husband for what they did to the middle class of this country. As well as the poor, the infirm, the disabled, the retarded, the aids victims, let alone what he did for the rich at the expense of the aforementioned, Sir if you want IDOLIZE THIS PIECE OF HUMAN WASTE PLEASE AVAIL YOURSELF TO A WAILING SEPTIC TANK where this floatasm of human excrement should be found wanting. But dont lecture us on how we view this misbegotten whore and her well deserved trevails, my wish is that she had cracked that putrid melon that bobbles on her shoulder's, and spilled the excretement from the container that has bottled it up for so long IFEEL NO PITY FOR THE F*CKING B*TCH WHO TOOK DELIGHT IN WATCHING THOUSANDS DIE OF A HORRIBLE DISEASE WATCHING THE POOR HAVING TO EAT OUT OF DUMPSTERS BECAUSE OF HER AND HER HUSBANDS POLITICAL BELIEFES. ZIPPER THY LIP AND SHUT THE F*CK UP.

These creatures could have someone on their wavelength in the White House within a year.

On a tip from Burning Hot.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:23 AM | Comments (36)