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January 9, 2008
Pat Sajak Solves the Global Warming Crisis
Kudos to Pat Sajak for solving the global warming crisis without calling on the United Nations to impose international socialism.
First he defines the problem:
There are apparently tens of millions of people around the world who are convinced global warming is real, and mankind (particularly American mankind) is responsible. Further, they believe utterly catastrophic results are imminent unless we drastically alter our lifestyles -- and soon. These alterations include the things we eat, our transportation, our daily work and leisure habits, and even the number of children we should have. The problem is there are also tens of millions of people around the world who are skeptical of this theory, and, despite one side's claims the debate is settled, a significant and growing number of climate experts keep challenging their conclusions.
So, those who believe disaster is around the corner face a dilemma: while they're educating their fellow citizens and demanding governments regulate believers and non-believers alike, the problem continues, and the date of the world's doom draws ever closer.
How to cure global warming when a growing number of scientists are speaking out against the whole farce? The solution is as obvious as it is ingenious:
Instead of continuing to preach to the rest of us, the true believers need to step forward and set an example. I'm not talking about recycling Evian bottles; I'm talking about giving up cars and moving into smaller houses or apartments, or even forming communes where people can live simpler, more Earth-friendly lives. Yes, I'm talking about living the kinds of lives they want all of us to live.
Such a movement could literally start tomorrow. It would need a leader, of course; someone who could inspire others to choose a more spartan lifestyle. The obvious choice would be Al Gore, who already has a loyal following. If he would eschew large homes, gas-guzzling cars, private jets and the consumption of meat, millions more would likely do the same.
Once the sacrifice of the Goracle and his acolytes has improved the weather, the rest of us will be inspired to follow suit voluntarily.
But fortunately for Al Gore, it will not be necessary for him to stop living like a tsar. As his lavish lifestyle indicates that he knows perfectly well, global warming is an utter and deliberate hoax, intended to enable profiteers like himself to get rich, socialist bureaucrats to grab more power, and liberal fools to feel self-righteous without having to live by any coherent moral standards.
On a tip from Bergbikr.
Posted by Van Helsing at January 9, 2008 9:11 AM
Comments
I'm curious. Has Vanna weighed in on this yet?
Posted by: phil at January 9, 2008 9:37 AM
I remember Pat Sajak used to be a weatherman on Los Angeles TV before his got his "big gig". He is more qualified to comment on weather issues than the Goracle.
Posted by: Gordon_Freeman at January 9, 2008 9:49 AM
Al Gore could be the New Age Pol Pot - all his minions could join him in the fields and if any of them get out of line he could just bury them in the fields to prevent CO2 from escaping from the decaying corpse or burn them as cooking fuel using the fat to light their lamps. And even turn some into Soylent Green. Just use the Artic Wildlife Refuge for this purpose since we cant drill for oil there.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 9, 2008 10:00 AM
Given the IQ sinkhole that is TinselTown, it makes perfect sense that a gameshow host has more sense than all the rest of Hollyweird put together.
Posted by: monsoon at January 9, 2008 11:03 AM
Rather profound, Pat! Note how none of the AGW proponents are willing to change THEIR lifestyles (only yours and mine) to help the "cause," save for the tree-hugging nutbars who already live in communes and smoke dope 24/7 (in that case, who needs a private jet when you can "fly" all by yourself?).
Posted by: jc14 at January 9, 2008 12:08 PM
Amazing how that is. It's like all the socialist crap that George Soros and his ilk spew, but none of them are willing to give up the millions of dollars they make or billions in Mr Soros' case to live that socialist life style they so love to talk about.
I would really like to see Cheryl Crow try one piece of toilet paper at a time.
Posted by: Richard Daugherty at January 9, 2008 2:59 PM
Well! The problem's solved, we can all sleep guilt-free now.
Posted by: KHarn at January 9, 2008 4:47 PM
Al Gore is like a preacher who tells you that you'll go straight to hell if you don't quit drinking, gambling, and fooling around with loose women who then shows up at an Indian casino, totally shit-faced, with a whore on each arm.
Posted by: V the K at January 10, 2008 5:06 AM
