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December 29, 2007
Marvel Comics Succumbs to Moonbattery
In a move reminiscent of storylines developed during the second world war, the UN is joining forces with Marvel Comics, creators of Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, to create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease.
The difference is, during WWII, the superheroes were on America's side. Now Spider-Man et al. have been shanghaied and must serve with the bad guys in a propaganda war that has as its ultimate objective the enslavement of the entire planet under the flag of international socialism.
I can hardly wait for the Incredible Hulk to start punching people out for driving SUVs, and the Uncanny X-Men to shake down successful countries for massive wealth transfers in the name of the imaginary climate change crisis.
Initially 1 million copies will be handed out to impressionable American schoolchildren for free. The USA is the largest financer of the UN, so "free" probably means that you'll help pay for it.
On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.
Posted by Van Helsing at December 29, 2007 2:03 PM
DC all the WAY
Posted by: Kr0w at December 29, 2007 2:32 PM
The UN is using the Hamas playbook - get to the kids and shape their pliable minds, ignore the adults who protest, and wait a generation.
Right now there aren't enough people to stand up to the UN-ization of the world, to even make a dent in the global takeover by Eurocrats. Said takeover is proceeding faster than they even hoped, and is picking up steam everyday. Hopefully, someday somebody will say "No". Maybe if we can replace the current president with a Republican.
Posted by: mega at December 29, 2007 2:41 PM
I predict a monumental failure of this particular line of comics. Marvel must be hurting...
Posted by: skh.pcola at December 29, 2007 2:44 PM
Many Robotech fans were not exactly happy when Harmony Gold teamed up with the UN to make a short Public Service Announcement showing the UN 'working together to help the world'. This was especially ironic as the UN in Robotech had been disbanded due to preventing The Global War of the 1990s.
Of course, the worst of the worst was the UN's 'Bombing of Smurf Village'. In retrospect, bombing the little blue Communist f@ckers should be viewed as a good thing.
Posted by: Brooklyn Red Leg at December 29, 2007 2:50 PM
Errr....that was supposed to be 'not preventing The Global War of the 1990s'
Posted by: Brooklyn Red Leg at December 29, 2007 4:21 PM
Actually, Captain America was a Marvel Comics character, too.
I've really gotten into comics over the last year or so, but this move sounds REALLY irritating. Are they going to have the Punisher and Deadpool (The latter is one of the coolest heroes ever, imo) abandon their guns and knives and become tree- hugging peaceniks next?
Maybe the storyline will have Dr. Doom or the Red Skull trying to destroy the world through global warming, only to be thwarted by a newly- superpowered Al Gore?
I REALLY hope this doesn't turn out to be as lame as it sounds.
Posted by: Adam at December 29, 2007 4:59 PM
"create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease."
Just like how the international body stopped bloodshed in Cambodia, Rwanda, and Darfur!!!
Posted by: dpt at December 29, 2007 10:21 PM
DC already went this route.
In a Justice League Unlimited episode, they had Lex Luthor become president of the US (How? He's a CONVICTED FELLON) and start a war against a tiny, "inofensive" nation in the Middle East. (Sound familor?)
The(Alledged) Justice League opposes the war and works to get evidence against Luthor, America and the "war for profits".
Turns out it was all a simulation. To turn Superman against conservatism, I guess.
Posted by: KHarn at December 30, 2007 9:21 AM
What, so we gonna have wonderfully multicultural heroes like the Superfriends gave us? Black Vulcan, Samurai, El Dorado and especially Apache Chief anyone?
Posted by: BUUUUURRRRNING HOT at December 30, 2007 5:44 PM
The Ultimate line of Marvel already had the US brought to its knees by a conglomerate of foreign superpowered soldiers, in retaliation for US superheroes unitarily de-nuking a Middle East country under the orders of the American government.
Thankfully, in the much less Moonbatty Ultimate reality, Captain America is a no-hippy-bullshit SuperJingoist - a lot more red than blue mixed with the white - who has no qualms about kicking multicultural butt. That's the kind of hero the world needs today.
Posted by: BUUUUURRRRNING HOT at December 30, 2007 5:46 PM
And not forgetting of course, that evolution panderfest called the X-Men, where the current storyline involves religiously fanatical, murderous and organized bad guys who are - of course - nutter Christians.
Because every liberal knows that when the nation goes to hell, the rightwing rednecks will be the first to start killing everyone else, just like that book called the Bible must say (although liberals themselves have never actually read it).
Just waiting for Supercaliph Religion of Peace to make his appearance and save the liberal day.
Posted by: BUUUUURRRRNING HOT at December 30, 2007 5:54 PM
"that evolution panderfest called the X-Men"
Oh come on, give it a rest. It's a comic based on a science fiction premise- mutation- which is a widespread trope in science fiction, which is based on science. It's been running since the 1960s, it was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Are they part of a Darwinist conspiracy, or did they just pick a neat idea for a comic strip?
What do you want, comics where God makes people out of clay, breathes life into them, then makes their costumes out of leaves? Maybe then He could make it rain so much they have to build a big boat to survive in, with all the animals. And the sky could have windows in it the rain falls through.
Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at December 30, 2007 7:33 PM
Oh come on, give it a rest. It's a comic based on a science fiction premise- mutation- which is a widespread trope in science fiction, which is based on science. It's been running since the 1960s, it was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
Certainly enough, these two High Fathers of Comicdom had a great idea going there - superheroes who were born that way and faced discrimination, while heroes who accidentally got their powers inexplicably gain acceptance (except ol' Spidey).
But modern writers have taken it waaaaaaay beyond that, to the point where the 'All righteous X-men know that these mutations are human evolution to the next stage, while bad religious nuts are totally deluded that mutations are the Devil's curse' meme pops up every few storylines, and in the films to boot.
Whereas if you stopped to think about it, the sudden and - let's face it - improbably perfectly functional superpower-bestowing mutations are more an argument for Intelligent Design and Irreducible Complexity than Darwinism. Particularly when all their moms and dads had NO transitional mutations whatsoever.
The least the writers could do is throw in that angle for context, even if it's from a Let's-All-Be-Friends Creationist pastor who gets smoked by Predator X after two pages, because quite frankly it fits the emergence of Homo superior much better than random evolution.
And the fact that the current super-arc involves Christian fundamentalists going all out to destroy the mostly depowered muties must surely reflect the most pressing threat against civilization in the real world today. We must all get ready now for the rising tides of Sunday School!
Okay, nerdish fanboy rant is done.
Posted by: BUUUUURRRRNING HOT at December 31, 2007 1:42 AM