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December 15, 2007
Free Carbon Offsets!
Carbon credits aren't just for limousine liberals anymore. Now anyone can afford them, because they're available for free at Free Carbon Offsets.
Just fill out a simple form and you can download a personalized carbon offset certificate directly to your computer. I'm proud of mine:
Here's how the folks at Free Carbon Offsets will offset your carbon emissions:
• 1–100 offsets: We will try our hardest to turn off the water for an extra ten seconds while we brush our teeth.
• 101-1000 offsets: We will think about possibly using one less square of toilet paper every time we use the rest room. So you don't have to!
• 1001-10000 offsets: At this level, we will think about not going out to lunch for one day. Gas savings, plus savings on one less burger made that day!
• 10000+ offsets: Premium offsets. We will consider not taking a shower for a whole week!
Why pay more for carbon offsets than they're worth? More importantly, why allow chiselers like Al Gore to get rich off the global warming hoax, which threatens to significantly impair our standard of living and restrict our fundamental liberties?
PS: Since I just acquired a billion carbon offsets, I'd be willing to pass some of them along at a very reasonable rate. Anyone interested?
On a tip from baldeagle390.
Posted by Van Helsing at December 15, 2007 10:24 AM
Comments
Ha, that's nothing! I just got 1 quadrillion for the whole family. Guess that's me covered so it's off round the world a couple of times and fire up the BBQ when I'm back!
Posted by: Victor Ward at December 15, 2007 3:48 PM
Victor, you are such a small thinker...
Should have picked up a zillion quadrillion for each member then another zillion into a high interest savings! heheheheheheheh
Posted by: ttevolla at December 15, 2007 4:22 PM
I had baked beans for supper last night and seem to be currently emitting rather a lot of greenhouse gases. Can somebody lend me a few carbon credits?
Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at December 16, 2007 3:05 AM
I purchased "A Lifetime's Worth!" I"m not set!!!!!!!
Posted by: Bill at December 17, 2007 9:38 AM
