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December 31, 2007

Moonbat Choice for Texan of the Year

If you think Vladimir Putin was a lame choice for Person of the Year, how about the Dallas Morning News's Texan of the Year?

It is … drumroll, please … The Illegal Immigrant!

If liberal newspapers had been around to facilitate Rome's decline and fall, The Visigoth would have competed with The Vandal for Roman of the Year.

Hat tip: Freedom Folks, on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:43 PM | Comments (6)

Iran Borrows Propaganda From Parody Site

The great thing about people with no sense of humor is that they're so much fun to laugh at. This is the redeeming quality of Muslims, particularly the aggressively terrorist variety running Iran. Look what Mahmoud Imanutjob et al. put up on their propaganda website:

The picture, intended to prove how nice Muslim extremists are to Jews, is a photoshop swiped from a parody on the recommended site The People's Cube.

Original

Photoshop

At least at al-Reuters, they make their own photoshops.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:31 PM | Comments (1)

Moonbat Lawyer Keys Marine's Car

A Chicago lawyer named Jay Grodner thanked Marine Sergeant Mike McNulty for his service to our country by keying his car. But his head is still attached to his shoulders — a testament to Marine discipline.

McNulty's car was readily identifiable as a Marine's by the military plates and various decals. When caught red-handed, Grodner responded by denouncing America's armed forces. His juvenile vandalism caused $2,400 in damage — eight times the amount required to qualify as a felony.

But at least Grodner has a defense. He says he's being framed because he's Jewish.

Appallingly, Illinois authorities leaned on McNulty to drop the matter if Grodner paid the $100 deductible. McNulty was willing to accept probation for Grodner, but the lawyer refused, knowing that the Marine will have a hard time appearing in court after he is shipped back to Iraq in the near future. As he proclaimed:

I'm not going to make it easy on this kid.

Apparently the vandal will get off with no penalty whatsoever — other than having to see Jay Grodner when he looks in the mirror.

On tips from V the K, Hope Angel and Conan.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:33 AM | Comments (13)

Chelsea Clinton Gives 9-Year-Old Journalist the Brush-Off

Chelsea showed she's a real Clinton when fourth-grader Sydney Rieckhoff of Cedar Rapids attempted to interview her for the Scholastic News:

Q: Do you think your dad would be a good "first man" in the White House?

A: I'm sorry, I don't talk to the press and that applies to you, unfortunately. Even though I think you're cute.

Don't just stonewall. Do it condescendingly. That's the Clinton touch.

Nonetheless Sydney's mom plans to caucus for Shrillary, on the grounds that "it's time we have a female president." Good thing it's too late for Ethel Rosenberg or Lizzie Borden to run — both satisfied Shrillary supporters' primary criterion.

On a tip from Mike H.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:07 AM | Comments (19)

Euthanasia: Fun for the Whole Family

One problem with spending their entire lives in left-wing echo chambers is that the liberal elite have no idea how morally depraved they sound to normal people. Here's medical ethicist Judith Lee Kissell explaining why children should participate in the process of killing off sick relatives who are financially burdensome:

…children can be led to realize early the wisdom of terminating lifesaving or life-preserving treatment of disabled siblings. Such self-sacrifice from a young member of their own household would provide an invaluable lifelong example of love, devotion, and true family values. Even very young children can understand that medical costs can quickly absorb money that could otherwise be put aside for college education or a family vacation, for example.

Well, we can let your sister live, or we can go to Disney World. What'll it be, kids?

By the way, the Canadian Medical Association is claiming absolute discretion to withdraw life support — and to hell with the wishes of patients or their families.

Judith Lee Kissell can be thankful people aren't euthanized for awful hairdos.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:29 AM | Comments (22)

Gore's Apostles Weighing Terror Tactics?

Here's an ominous quote from an entry entitled "Whatever It Takes: Beyond Nonviolence" at the enviropsycho site It's Getting Hot in Here:

We are in critical battle for this planet, and we need to think seriously about doing whatever it takes to stop the actions which are destroying the land and seas (e.g. just the other day BP announced that they are going to commit the biggest global warming crime in history) and contributing to snowballing (or, more appropriately, snow-melting) climate collapse. Are petitions, lobby days, call-ins, protests, and nonviolent civil disobedience enough?

Since these Kool-Aid–guzzlers aren't in a position to inflict the industrial scale violence that accompanies the imposition of totalitarianism, this must be a call to employ terrorist tactics.

One of the commenters babbles about the moral justification of a pacifist involved in a plot to kill Hitler. Let's hope the FBI is keeping tabs on these kooks. As the global warming sham disintegrates around them, they aren't going to get any less crazy.

Hat tip: Climate Skeptic, on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:57 AM | Comments (7)

Worst Nanny of 2007

Citizens, exercise what's left of your power by voting at the Center for Consumer Freedom for the Worst Nanny of 2007. A few of the candidates:

• Michael Jacobson, Executive Director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, who has campaigned to prevent us from consuming Chinese take-out, margarine, quesadillas and caffeine.
• Putnam County, New York Office for the Aging, which tried to forbid the elderly from eating donuts.
• Meme Roth, deranged "obesity activist," who denounced the Keebler Elves, the Girl Scouts and Santa Claus; who had to be physically restrained from attacking a YMCA snack table; and who publicly affirmed that "eating a cupcake is the same as putting a gun in your mouth."
• Thomas Frieden, commissioner of NYC's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, who spearheaded the authoritarian jihad against trans fat.
• Dan Kinburn, a lawyer with PETA-affiliated Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, who has been encouraging John Edwards types to enrich themselves by suing "virtually every restaurant in the state of California that is not serving an all-vegetarian diet" under the state's demented Proposition 65.

Remember what they say on the Left: Vote early and often!

Hat tips: Coyote Blog, Maggie's Farm; on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:32 AM | Comments (7)

Sex Ed May Start at Age 5 in Scotland

Ever at the cutting edge of moonbattery, Scotland will apparently deal with its stratospheric levels of teenage pregnancy and sexual disease by starting sex ed at age 5, as Barack Obama recommends for American kids.

Dr Charles Saunders, chairman of the British Medical Association's Scottish consultants' committee, has declared that children must be taught about sex when they first start school, so as to "empower them."

Saunders, described as Scotland's most senior public health doctor, wants the kids at age 5 to be taught the "basic mechanics":

It could start off with how babies are made and progress from there.

Maybe Saunders' brilliant approach can be applied to drugs too, by teaching kindergartners how to roll joints.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:54 AM | Comments (1)

December 30, 2007

Token Conservative Drives Moonbat Into Frenzy

One of the many shortcomings of moonbattery is the extreme rigidity of the ideology. In place of the cross-pollination that occurs in an open marketplace of ideas, moonbats have only an incestuous echo chamber, in which their own voices come back at them amplified, driving them ever further into insanity.

At least the mainstream media recognizes the value of retaining a handful of token conservatives, if only as a lame defense against charges of bias. Bill Kristol of the Weekly Standard will reportedly write a weekly op-ed for the New York Times, causing Katha Pollitt at the Nation to cough up a frenetic denunciation just before her head exploded.

After calling him a propagandist, a bully and a thug, Pollitt gives vent to her outrage with a list of unobjectionable opinions that she imputes to Kristol in a tone better suited to accusations of witchcraft. These include:

• American liberals helped pave the way for communists and Islamists to take over Cambodia and Iran.
• The democratic governments in the Middle East — Afghanistan, Iraq and Israel — deserve our support.
• The world would be better off without the terrorist regimes running Iran and Syria.
• Military force is a viable option for curtailing Iran's nuclear ambitions before millions of people get killed.
• Promiscuous sex without precautions is not "a very good thing for the country."
• Attempts by the judiciary to overstep its authority and impose an oligarchy should be resisted.
• Islamic terrorists would prefer that Democrats win our elections.

According to Pollitt, these mild views are so outrageous, they disqualify Kristol even for the intended role of conservative foil on a liberal editorial page. The "fair and balanced" concept hasn't gotten much traction at the Nation.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:04 PM | Comments (10)

Media Ignores Vicious Attack on Pro-Life Demonstrator

A few days before Christmas, 69-year-old pro-life activist Ed Snell was knocked unconscious outside an abortion mill. His injuries included:

multiple trauma, right subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding in the area between the brain and the tissues that cover the brain), compression fractures of four vertebrae (T3, T4, T5 and T10), right scapula fracture and fracture of the fourth and fifth ribs.

Until they were finally able to stop the bleeding in his head, doctors thought he might die.

Warner Todd Huston at NewsBusters set out to gauge the mainstream media's reaction — only to find there wasn't any:

And here, nearly 7 days out from this attack, there aren't any accounts of the attack in the MSM. As I searched for the story myself, I found two and only two Internet hits for it. Why the silence from the MSM? Can you imagine the MSM swarm that would have occurred if it had been a pro-lifer that attacked an abortion supporter? The cacophony would have been deafening if a pro-lifer had been the one to get violent.

Further spicing up the story, police initially let the assailant drive off, and even threatened to arrest Snell's friend for objecting to this. Also, a receptionist at the Hillcrest Abortion Clinic responded to a request for a statement by slamming down the phone after screaming:

He got what he deserved! He earned what he got!

Yet the media didn't consider the incident interesting enough to report. It makes you wonder about all the crazy things we never heard about, because they happened before the Internet destroyed the Left's monopoly on information.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:46 PM | Comments (4)

Jimmy Carter on Steroids

Back in 1979, after Jimmy Carter had pulled the rug out from under the Shah of Iran, Islamists seized power and exploited Carter's weakness by invading our embassy and holding Americans hostage for over a year, inspiring the terror war that eventually brought us 9/11. Back when Ayatollah Khomeini was rubbing our president's face in the dirt as a example for the Muslim world, I wished Carter was more of a man. But I should have wished for something else, as I know now that a presidential candidate who is Jimmy Carter but more of a man promises to make an even worse mess in the Middle East.

That candidate is Hillary Clinton, whom Terence Jeffrey of CNS News describes as "Jimmy Carter on steroids." She promises to do to Musharraf just what the hapless fool Jimmy the Dhimmi did to Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, who unlike Pervez Musharraf wasn't the only thing standing between al-Qaeda and 100 nuclear weapons.

Via NewsBusters, here's Shrillary on CNN:

I don't think the Pakistani government at this time under President Musharraf has any credibility at all.

When asked if she is in favor of continued financial support to keep his government from collapsing, at least her answer was free of nuance:

No.

As Jeffrey pointed out to Wolf Blitzer soon afterwards:

Hillary Clinton is basically doing to Musharraf what Jimmy Carter did to the Shah, and the potential consequences are far greater, Wolf. We're talking about a regime that already has nuclear weapons, al Qaeda is already present on the ground there, they have a massive Islamist movement. If we try to meddle too much in their internal politics what we could end up with is our worst nightmare: an Islamist regime armed with a nuclear weapon that's friends with al Qaeda.

But don't go thinking that Democrats learned nothing from the disastrous Carter Administration. It's just that those who did learn are no longer Democrats.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:12 PM | Comments (11)

Andrea Mitchell: Bhutto's Death Proves We Need Shrillary

Like all noteworthy events, Benazir Bhutto's assassination was seized on by the mainstream media to promote its left–liberal agenda. According to NBC's Andrea Mitchell, it proves that we need Hillary Clinton in the White House. Here she goes on the Today show, via NewsBusters:

The prospect of a foreign policy crisis immediately transformed the presidential campaign and in the close Democratic race boosted Hillary Clinton's argument that experience, including her own relationship with Bhutto, trumps change.

In reality, Shrillary's limited foreign policy experience has been ceremonial. If you want a woman with real foreign policy experience, draft Condoleezza Rice.

But for whatever it might be worth, Shrillary was pals with her fellow corrupt socialist Bhutto, right? Wrong. Despite her opportunistic and mendacious claims to the contrary, Shrillary hardly knew Bhutto at all.

On tips from Cheetah and Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:27 PM | Comments (2)

Shrillary T-Shirts

Regarding the suggestion in an earlier post that Shrillary Rotten fans put this

on a T-Shirt, it looks like they've already thought of it. Also available at Café Press:

Clintonistas should also love the guys' and girls' companion T-shirts to the Hillary Nutcracker:

On tips from Goatlady and Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:58 PM | Comments (1)

December 29, 2007

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance is a problem encountered by moonbats when their dogma is confronted by reality. For an example, look at the first entry below and compare the title of the article with the first clause:

Does the sea ice refreeze slowly, or does it refreeze at a record pace? Both! Neither! Nonalgorian data does not compute!

It looks like even the folks at The Daily Green have been shamed into changing the title.

As for the ice lagging "behind normal levels," Climate Skeptic points out that it is now exceeding normal levels.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:52 PM | Comments (5)

No Free Speech for Shrillary Bashers

ACLU cultists are serious believers in freedom of speech — but not always…

The shirt below, available at Café Press, has incurred the wrath of the militants at Feministing:

Okay, it's not the kindest sentiment. But neither is this:

We're going to have to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.

The comments at Feministing aren't that kind either. Mainly they express outrage that anyone would be sexist enough to oppose Shrillary, when it's obvious that the enlightened must support her on the grounds of her gender. But some also want to shut down the shirt's creator, Right Wing Mike. One who petitioned Café Press to have him censored squeaks:

i normally don't file complaints about things that sort of could be covered by free speech (i'm a card-carrying member of the ACLU), but this guy's stuff really seemed to cross the line.

I'll leave it ACLU members to explain what "sort of could be covered by free speech" means.

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:29 PM | Comments (18)

Marvel Comics Succumbs to Moonbattery

It was bad enough when DC Comics killed Captain America. Now this:

In a move reminiscent of storylines developed during the second world war, the UN is joining forces with Marvel Comics, creators of Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, to create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease.

The difference is, during WWII, the superheroes were on America's side. Now Spider-Man et al. have been shanghaied and must serve with the bad guys in a propaganda war that has as its ultimate objective the enslavement of the entire planet under the flag of international socialism.

I can hardly wait for the Incredible Hulk to start punching people out for driving SUVs, and the Uncanny X-Men to shake down successful countries for massive wealth transfers in the name of the imaginary climate change crisis.

Initially 1 million copies will be handed out to impressionable American schoolchildren for free. The USA is the largest financer of the UN, so "free" probably means that you'll help pay for it.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:03 PM | Comments (13)

WaPo Demands Huge Changes in Every Aspect of Your Daily Life

It's nearly time to stick a fork in the discredited global warming hoax, to judge by its adherents' laughably desperate attempts to generate hysteria. Put some cotton in your ears to protect your hearing, then check out the shrill screechings of Bill McKibben at WaPo.

It seems that creepy Al Gore henchman James Hansen, a global warming profiteer who once hawked global cooling, and who has already quietly admitted that the supposedly alarming temperature stats produced by his agency were inflated, has proclaimed that the upper limit of carbon allowed in the atmosphere is 350 ppm.

This means big trouble — because we've already passed that mark!

Don't bother paying your utility bills. By the time they get around to shutting off your service, the planet will be a smoldering cinder — unless of course we immediately adopt the most extreme measures:

To use the medical analogy, we're not talking statins to drop your cholesterol; we're talking huge changes in every aspect of your daily life.

I added the bold to McKibben's ravings above in case anyone has failed to notice that the global warming hoax is an attempt by the liberal elite to impose totalitarianism.

Here's what happened when left-wing intellectuals managed to impose huge changes in every aspect of people's daily life in Russia:

They did it Cambodia too, after liberals forced an American withdrawal from the area:

The biggest body count was piled up in China under Mao:

Thanks to the noble efforts of communists, there are now 100 million fewer humans generating carbon emissions. But apparently that hardly scratches the surface. The Devil knows what it would take to satisfy the shrill lunatics pushing the global warming hoax.

On a tip from mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:47 PM | Comments (6)

Root Cause of Carnation Killings Identified

It looks like the true culprit has been found in the gruesome Christmas Eve slayings in Carnation, Washington.

Michele Kristen Anderson, who had a financial grudge against her relatives, and her loser boyfriend Joseph McEnroe managed to kill six members of her family. The victims were as young as 3.

But those killed were not the only victims. The Seattle Times reports that according to former classmate Jennifer Chandler:

Anderson had been diagnosed with severe anxiety and was supposed to take medication and see a counselor but couldn't afford it.

If only we had socialized medicine, all wacky people would have counselors and medication. Taxpayers can finance anything. Maybe if we mandated counseling for the entire population, and put medication in the water supply, evil would become a thing of the past.

Michele Anderson, victim of our lack of socialized medicine.

On a tip from John H.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:06 PM | Comments (2)

December 28, 2007

Moonbat Pinup

A little eye candy for left-leaning ladies:

Via WZZO, on a tip from heckrulz.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:13 PM | Comments (14)

Fox News Coverage Found to Be Most Balanced

No wonder moonbats fly into public rages when exposed to Fox News. The Center for Media and Public Affairs at George Mason University, hardly a conservative outfit, has found that "Fox News Channel's evening news show provided more balanced coverage than its counterparts on the broadcast networks."

The reference is to Brit Hume's excellent "Special Report." Here's a PDF of CMPA's report, which finds:

Fox News Channel's coverage was more balanced toward both parties than the broadcast networks were. On FOX, evaluations of all Democratic candidates combined were split almost evenly — 51% positive vs. 49% negative, as were all evaluations of GOP candidates — 49% positive vs. 51% negative, producing a perfectly balanced 50-50 split for all candidates of both parties.

On the three broadcast networks, opinion on Democratic candidates split 47% positive vs. 53% negative, while evaluations of Republicans were more negative — 40% positive vs. 60% negative.

This must be why DU moonbats who see FNC on waiting-room televisions respond by screeching hysterical demands that the channel be changed. When your whole Weltanshauung is a tilting house of cards, you can't risk subjecting it to balance.

Hat tip: The Jawa Report. On tips from Cheetah and BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:23 AM | Comments (15)

Hindus' Tolerance Causes Them to Attack Christians

It isn't only Muslims and moonbats who have it in for Christians. In India, Hindus do too. Time magazine admits:

On Christmas Eve and Christmas day, Hindu nationalists in the Kandhamal area attacked churches and convents and set fire to houses belonging to Christians, killing one person and injuring at least two dozen more. Since then, more than forty Christian houses have been set ablaze despite curfews and increased police patrols.

But Hindus only engage in vindictive mayhem because they're so tolerant:

Hinduism is inherently tolerant of other religions and allows that they too could be valid alternative paths to enlightenment. Proselytizing as Christians and Muslims do is, by its nature, un-Hindu, which makes a looming battle for Indians' souls look "very asymmetrical," says [Ashis] Nandy [a political psychologist and sociologist at India's Centre for the Study of Developing Societies].

Hey, are they saying that Muslims are as bad as Christians? That's intolerant!

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:46 AM | Comments (3)

British Nanny State Demands Sissification of Schoolboys

To comply with the depraved "gender equality duty" that came into force last April, British schools have been commanded to encourage boys to play netball and take drama and dance lessons to ensure they are more "gender balanced."

Mick Brookes, general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers, has failed to get with the program:

It doesn't make any sense to promote things to boys that they don't want to do, simply so you can tick a box on a form.

But by rejecting freedom and dignity in favor of liberal statism, Britain has elevated boxes on forms to a status far more exalted than the personal preferences of any unenlightened young man who would rather kick a ball around than get in touch with the tender side of his psyche.

British schools have a mandate to produce more boys like this.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:19 AM | Comments (9)

Burglary Victim Warned Not to Endanger Thieves

A woman returned to her home in Rugby, England after attending her cancer-stricken brother to find that thieves had smashed through a security gate and broken windows to steal a fortune in antiques and other personal items. But when she brought up the idea of upgrading her security to prevent it from happening again, the police warned against it.

Were any thieves to nick themselves on barbed wire, she would face charges for endangering their well-being.

The woman is keeping her name to herself, probably to avoid attracting more thieves. She gasped:

I was speechless — you couldn't make it up. I think these laws show we have gone soft in the head.

Welcome to England under the regime of moonbattery. It's no fit place for law-abiding citizens.

On a tip from Deano.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:49 AM | Comments (3)

December 27, 2007

Moonbat Journalist Dave Lindorff Fantasizes That Global Warming Will Kill Off Conservatives

The global warming farce veers ever further into the realm of liberal fantasy. Now, according to journalist Dave Lindorff, it will rid America of conservatives.

The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean — and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats — are the American southeast, including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. While the northeast will also see some coastal flooding, its geography is such that that aside from a few projecting sandbars like Long Island and Cape Cod, the land rises fairly quickly to well above sea level. Sure, Boston, New York and Philadelphia will be threatened, but these are geographically confined areas that could lend themselves to protection by Dutch-style dikes. The West Coast too tends to rise rapidly to well above sea level in most places. Only down in Southern California towards the San Diego area is the ground closer to sea level.

San Diego leaned Republican in 2004. So did Phoenix, a city with essentially no unemployment that has been growing explosively for years. Lindorff dismisses it, along with Palm Springs and even the liberal college town Tucson, as "right-wing retirement communities," and gloats that they will shrivel up and die from projected minuscule temperature increases that wouldn't be noticed in the Southwest even if they were actually to happen.

Agricultural states west of the Mississippi will supposedly be doomed by drought, while more liberal Midwestern states will be spared.

Lindorff wrings his clawlike hands as he cackles:

There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.

Those who survive Gaia's wrath by escaping to blue states are to be regarded as subhumans with limited voting rights:

The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city. They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.

Global warming has now degenerated into a sick masturbatory fantasy for ultra-leftists in clear need of psychiatric attention. But even as record snowfall buries Denver, the UN presses forward with plans to exploit the hoax to seize power and wealth.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:31 AM | Comments (33)

Gray Madame Branches Into Kiddie Porn

If New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller can indulge in treason, why not kiddie porn?

Earlier this month, the Gray Lady's fashion insert T included a shot of model Ali Michael's naked left breast. Michael is 17, and looks 13 under all her ghoulish makeup.

The T insert has been criticized by the Times' own Public Editor Clark Hoyt because it "blurs the line between editorial and advertising." But it has also been credited with improving the papers' sickly stock rating.

If moonbattery won't sell, why not try naked teenagers? Morally, it's a lateral move.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:49 AM | Comments (5)

Recount: Dems Still Picking Scabs of 2000

Moonbats' morbid obsession with the presidential election they lost way back in 2000 continues. Just in time for the 2008 election, HBO will be airing a "docudrama" entitled Recount, telling the inspirational tale of how a defeated Al Gore tried to seize power with help from Florida's corrupt Supreme Court.

The script was written by actor Danny Strong, better known as the hapless high school nonentity Jonathan Levinson in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Strong is also known as a Democrat supporter, as are producers Paula Weinstein and Sydney Pollack, and HBO Films President Colin Callender. The cast includes Clinton groupie Kevin Spacey, who recently joined the parade of Tinseltown leftists down to Venezuela to kiss the ring of hostile socialist dictator Hugo Chavez.

Events are fictionalized, as they would have to be to serve the liberal point of view. But not to worry — the producers "gave relatives of the main characters small roles to placate their concerns" about inaccuracy.

Hat tip: Free Republic, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:20 AM | Comments (6)

December 26, 2007

CNN: We Want Bureauweenies to Fix Our Hapless Lives

CNN's Congressional Correspondent Jessica Yellin reports from the Iowa campaign trail:

[Iowa voters] really take this process as a legitimate experience and feel entitled to ask "how are you going to fix my life?"

Yellin describes this as "refreshing."

Only moonbats would deal with their broken lives by begging the likes of Shrillary Rotten, Barack Hussein Obambi and the Breck Girl to "fix" them. But before you pity the wretched creatures, remember they want your life fixed too — whether you like it or not.

Via NewsBusters, which has video. On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:29 PM | Comments (4)

Moonbats Invited to Throw Eggs At Hummer

"Peter Antiglobalist" activists in St. Petersburg, Russia, have found a driver willing to let them express their moonbattery by throwing food at his Hummer. Explains a spokesman:

Luxury is a false value, clouding modern society's vision. Advertising posters, TV shows and slick marketing constantly tells us that buying things is the most important value in our society.

Therefore they are going to throw eggs and tomatoes at the Hummer, then sell the vandalized vehicle and give the proceeds to an orphanage. Take that, materialism!

On a tip from Deano.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:27 AM | Comments (2)

Line Between Taxation and Slavery Blurs

The line between excessive taxation and slavery is getting blurrier in Greenburgh, New York, where seniors who can't handle Westchester County's exorbitant property taxes may be granted the privilege of working off part of their tax bill in a desperate bid to hold onto the homes they supposedly own.

As Town Supervisor Paul Feiner is kind enough to observe:

People shouldn't have to sell their house, move away to a place with less taxes, leave behind their family and friends.

The solution: labor for the state at a rate of $7 per hour (minimum wage in New York State is $7.15 per hour).

A similar program in Boulder County, Colorado has more than twice as many applicants as openings. Apparently slave labor beats taking out a reverse mortgage that could result in foreclosure.

Feiner likes the idea of getting tax-slave seniors to work in schools:

If we got seniors working for the schools, there might be a more intergenerational feeling there. It might be easier to pass the school budgets.

In other words, he hopes this will make them more likely to vote for the same extravagant spending that is resulting in them being taxed out of their homes.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:03 AM | Comments (6)

Proof That Israeli Soldiers Are Racists

A Hebrew University graduate student has been awarded a research prize for finding one of the Holy Grails of academic scholarship: proof that Israeli soldiers are racists.

The proof: IDF soldiers deliberately refrain from raping Palestinian women.

Doctoral candidate Tal Nitzan explains:

In the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, it can be seen that the lack of military rape merely strengthens the ethnic boundaries and clarifies the inter-ethnic differences — just as organized military rape would have done.

Raping and not raping are the same. Moral relativism works its moonbat magic once again.

Dr. Zali Gurevitch headed the professor's committee that recommended Nitzan's obscene paper be published. He dismisses the notion that the high moral conduct of the Israel Army could have anything to do with the rape shortage by proclaiming that observers have no right to demand a particular explanation to a given phenomenon.

The good guys might as well give up; no matter what they do or refrain from doing, academia will find them in the wrong.

Hat tips: Chesler Chronicles, The Jawa Report, on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:32 AM | Comments (4)

Reuters: Illegal Alien Crisis Is Over

First the good news: The illegal alien crisis has been solved, because our economy is so bad, the colonizers are pulling up stakes and heading back to Mexico:

[A couple of Mexicans] are among a growing number of illegal immigrants across the United States who are starting to pack their bags and move on as a crackdown on undocumented immigrants widens and the U.S. economy slows, turning a traditional Christmas trek home into a one-way trip. […] The toughening environment has been coupled with a turndown in the U.S. economy, which has tipped the balance toward self deportation for many illegal immigrants left struggling to find work.

Good thing Dems and RINOs didn't manage to ram amnesty through, or they'd all be sticking around to collect welfare, slowing the economy down even more.

But now comes the bad news: the quote above is from Roto-Reuters, which has no qualms about publishing lies so as to advance the cause of moonbattery. Since the alleged economic downturn is not real, the flow of Reconquistadors back to Mexico probably isn't real either.

In case you're tempted to take al-Reuters seriously, they go on to report:

Other returning immigrants cite a slowdown in the U.S. economy as a factor, and the falling value of the U.S. dollar against other currencies, which has eaten into the value of remittances sent to support families at home.

Actually, the peso has been holding steady against the dollar over the last year. But facts are only facts if they conform to the MSM storyline: Republicans have screwed up the economy, and we don't need to defend the border.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:53 AM | Comments (1)

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:33 AM | Comments (9)

December 24, 2007

Shrillary Wrapping Paper

Still wrapping gifts for the Democrats on your list? This might help:

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:48 PM | Comments (14)

Durban II

The United Nations has more on its plate than exploiting the thoroughly discredited global warming hoax to cripple the American economy and expropriate vast sums of loot. There is also the usual business of anti-American, anti-Israel conferences, the most infamous of which took place in Durban, South Africa in 2001. This debacle deteriorated into such an outrage that mild-mannered Colin Powell withdrew the US delegation, and denounced the UN for its fanatical hatred of Israel.

Now UN bureauweenies are planning Durban II. Once again, the supposed purpose is to fight racism, which the UN typically accomplishes by spewing bilious condemnations at the Jewish state.

In 2001, South Africa picked up most of the tab. This time, they want the money to come out of the core budget — 22% of which is extracted from the pockets of Americans. The estimated cost is $6.8 million, putting America's contribution at $1,496,000. That's a steep price to pay to see the lackeys of corrupt dictators throw clots of mud at our country and our ally — though not much compared to what they hope to extract from us through the global warming swindle.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:23 PM | Comments (2)

December 23, 2007

Spinning Public Transport

In Houston this year, complaints about late buses are up 39%; those involving the behavior of bus drivers are up 43%. Some might attribute this to Houston's obsessive emphasis on politically correct light rail transit having left bus service neglected. But municipal bureauweenies spin it differently:

"We're almost a victim of our own success," said METRO's Raequel Roberts. "We have a much better call system now, so the wait time is less than a minute on most calls.

"So, people realize if I do call, I will get somebody that'll take my complaint. And if you realize you're going to get somebody you're more likely to call."

Bus accidents are up 24%. No doubt this too can be attributed to METRO's success.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:48 PM | Comments (13)

December 22, 2007

Latest Feel-Good Campaign: Bleeding Hearts Against Bleeding

If you don't want to give Africans "the gift of dung" for Christmas, how about tampons:

Reader Matt L. comments:

Nothing wrong with charities, of course… but Tampax to save Africa? The thing that got me was THIS IS THE 21st CENTURY. If your country is so backward and socially bankrupt that you don't even have sanitary napkins, then some stupid feel-good charity isn't going to make any difference. THEY HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS!

Africa needs non-corrupt governments, they need to forget about insane tribal warfare, they need to eliminate petty warlords, they need to learn about personal responsibility… in short, they need to do what the Pilgrims and settlers and all those folks who had nothing did when they came here.

Early America had no one to send them Tampax or relief packages or government aid or anything else… and all alone they carved out the greatest country on earth. In Africa they have the land, the resources, the labor force and (it seems) a total inability to do anything with it. This isn't the 1800's. They have a wonderful model in the United States to show how it can be done, and yet…

As the saying goes, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Instead, we're sending them a handout of Tampax.

But since the point of these programs is to help us to feel good about ourselves, it doesn't matter if giving tampons to a region under the thumb of corrupt Third-World socialists is like treating a slashed throat with a Band-Aid. As they say, it's the thought that counts.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:26 AM | Comments (9)

December 21, 2007

A Rowan Williams Moonbat Christmas

As Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams holds the top rung on the rickety ladder known as the Anglican Church. This year he's celebrating Christmas by publicly debunking various details of the yuletide "legend."

Instead of celebrating the birth of Christ, Williams chooses to nitpick about whether the Three Kings were really kings, whether there were asses in the stable (like there are in Canterbury), whether it was really December 25th, whether there was snow on the ground, etc. Less trivially, he suggests that the conception wasn't immaculate after all.

When it's not Christmas, Williams amuses himself by bashing America, sucking up to Muslims and blaming Christianity for domestic abuse, while the church entrusted to his care swirls down the drain.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:48 PM | Comments (13)

NYC Cat Policy Suggests Dark Ages Could Be Making a Comeback

Cats were originally domesticated because of their usefulness in holding off the rats and mice that spread disease while helping themselves to our food. The superstitious persecution of cats in the Dark Ages led to the Black Death, which was spread by the rats that cats are needed to control. To this day, cats still perform this crucial function better than any poison or trap — when bureaucrats let them.

The owner's of New York City's countless bodegas and corner grocery stores face fines of $2,000 and more for using cats to keep rodents at bay.

Proclaims Robert M. Corrigan, research bureauweenie for the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene:

Any animal around food presents a food contamination threat. And so that means anything from animal pieces and parts to hair and excrement could end up in food, and that alone, of course, is a violation of the health code.

That is, cats are forbidden because unlike the giant rats that crawl forth in slimy hordes from the city's sewers, they might contaminate the food.

But store owners keep the cats despite the fines, because they also get fined if city inspectors find rat droppings. Since they'll be punished no matter what they do, they may as well keep their stores clean.

The cost of the fines has to be passed along to customers — provided the stores can stay in business. Bureauweenies can come back to collect more fines any time they please. As always, Big Government wins, and the rest of us lose.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 5:27 PM | Comments (9)

Global Orgasm and Still More Naked Moonbats in the Snow

Nothing astonishes social pathologists like moonbats giving silent voice to their unfathomable foolishness by lying naked in the snow. We've seen them here and here. Here are some more, via Make Orgasm, Not Wargasm:

The picture above accompanies an invitation to participate in the Global Orgasm for Peace:

Orgasm and the sense of well-being it brings — how would the planet be if it felt that good? Couldn't that be one definition of Peace? Practice visualizing the planet experiencing the afterglow of a rousing orgasm and taking a break from daily despair.

What if a simultaneous universal orgasm was timed perfectly with the solstice and the funky energy surge it brings? Could that help move humankind off its sure path to self-destruction?

The universal orgasm is planned for tomorrow at 6:08 GMT. That's actually tonight in some time zones, so moonbats are encouraged to synchronize their watches. Be sure to have plenty of Cindy Sheehan and/or Dennis Kucinich pix on hand to get you in the mood if you're on your own.

And remember, the intention is peace. Think peace. Wish for peace. Come for peace.

On a tip from El Presidente.

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:39 PM | Comments (10)

Huckabee Is Not the Guy for Conservative Evangelicals

Based on a report from Bob Novak, even evangelicals who don't give a hoot about taxes, spending, law and order, or illegal immigration need to avoid Mike Huckabee like the plague — unless they want another Jimmy Carter in the White House.

Judge Paul Pressler, described as "a hero to Southern Baptist Convention reformers," is not backing Huckleberry, and with good reason:

[The Huckster] did not join the "Conservative Resurgence" that successfully rebelled against liberals in the Southern Baptist Convention a generation ago. Criticism from co-religionists stands apart from criticism by the Club for Growth, the Cato Institute and the Arkansas Eagle Forum of Huckabee's big-government, high-tax 10 years as governor. […]

Pressler is known to be concerned that Huckabee plays to the establishment and would be subservient to the State Department and The New York Times. On Oct. 26, John Fund of The Wall Street Journal quoted Pressler as saying: "I know of no conservative he appointed while he headed the Arkansas Baptist Convention."

When viewed not as a governor but simply as an evangelical, Huckleberry is still a liberal. Only favorable treatment by his fellow libs in the media can explain why he is being taken seriously by some as a Republican presidential candidate.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:48 PM | Comments (15)

Santa Knocked Unconscious

The War on Christmas just keeps getting uglier:

SPOKANE — A firefighter dressed as Santa Claus was knocked unconscious when he was struck in the head by a thrown object while riding in a truck.

Whatever it was that hit Kevin Smith, 29, left him with a broken nose, two black eyes and a concussion. Smith was riding alone in the back of a flatbed truck, which was decked out as a sleigh.

AP refers to this as an "accident," yet a few paragraphs later admits:

In the past firefighters have been hit with snowballs, bottles and paintballs, but serious injuries have been rare, [Fire Lt. Scott] Himelspach said.

Needless to say, anti-Christmas moonbats deserve nothing more than lumps of coal in their stockings.

On a tip from John.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:12 PM

Tancredo Drops Out to Save Us From Huckleberry

Tom Tancredo, who was running on the single issue of doing something about the illegal alien invasion, has dropped out of the presidential race and is endorsing Mitt Romney. Here's why:

My fear is that if I were to stay in this race my votes could be the factor in handing victory to a pro-amnesty politician.

Now who could he have in mind? Lettuce McCain has been no friend of border security, but the more pressing threat is the Huckster:

[Tancredo] made plain that he was moved to get out of the contest because he feared the rise of Mike Huckabee, who has taken a less hard-line approach to immigration in the past.

"It was important in making this decision — you bet your life it was," Tancredo said, speaking to a group of reporters and supporters at a press conference.

Tancredo has fought the good fight on illegal immigration. Let's hope Romney carries it forward.

Hat tip: Hot Air.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:40 AM | Comments (5)

Moonbat Actress Bails Terrorist Out of Gitmo

Liberal elitist Vanessa Redgrave has put some of her riches where her oversized mouth is by bailing a terrorist out of Guantanamo Bay.

Jamil el-Banna reputedly ran a terrorist recruiting cell, raised funds for al Qaeda and distributed propaganda produced by Osama bin Laden, earning him the admiration of Ms. Redgrave, who paid half of his £50,000 bail.

Squawks the Oscar-winner:

It is a profound honour to be able to do this. [The luxurious Club Gitmo] is a concentration camp.

The Pakistani el-Bananas requested asylum in Britain and was granted indefinite leave to stay, but he is not a citizen. Spain wants him on terrorism charges. But it will have to wait until Vanessa is done worshipfully nibbling the funk from between his greenish toes.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:06 AM | Comments (4)

Politically Incorrect Spoof Carols Censored

One of the best indications of mental health is a sense of humor — which may explain why everything just keeps getting crazier under our regime of humorless politically correct orthodoxy.

The quarterly magazine Marooned is produced by the Cromwell House mental health facility in Eccles, Salford, England, with an editorial board consisting of psychiatric patients. The winter edition included this gag, entitled "Christmas Carols for the Mentally Disturbed":

No one has a problem with making fun of Christmas, but joking about psychiatric disorders? That's heresy. Squeals Zinette Camille of Manchester, whose mother has had mental problems:

I could not believe what I was reading. I was astonished that it could be so insensitive. […] People with mental health issues have a disability — they are not disturbed.

Instead of the sensible response of preparing a room with padded walls for Ms. Camille, a spokesman for the magazine soon issued the standard groveling apologies. The issue has been recalled, and the offending article removed. They even offered to let the shrill little Nazi sound off in the next issue. An official promises that future editions will be subjected to closer vetting.

Be sure to have a sensitive Christmas, and remember: no laughing in unapproved contexts.

Hat tip: Ace of Spades HQ, on a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:44 AM | Comments (4)

Tweety Blasts Shrillary for Socialist Christmas Ad

You've probably seen the irritating ad in which Shrillary gives us the gift of socialism for Christmas:

To his credit, even the frequently moonbatty Chris Matthews has had enough of this mentality. He opened up with both barrels on Joe Scarborough's show. Via NewsBusters:

I always thought the problem with Hillary was, her notion of government was, "I am Evita, I am the one who gives gifts to the little people and then they come and bring me flowers and they worship at me because I am the great Evita."

"And I give things to people. I give them universal health care; I give them an energy program. I give gifts to the little people. The little people come to me and I give them gifts, like universal pre-K. I am the gift-giver to the little people. Oh, I am the grand, grand woman, the grand Evita. And I give gifts to the little people and they're going to come to me in multitudes and worship at me!"

Give me a break! That's not the transaction. It's our country, it's our government. Public officials get to serve us! They serve us, they are our servants. They are not Evitas; they are not goddesses. We don't look up to them that way. We don't get gifts from them. By the way: we pay for every damn program we get. In fact we pay more for it than we're going to get. What are you kidding: you're going to give us stuff? From where? From your treasury? Where are you going to go? The palace? [unintelligible] The palace? We're going to give them to you?

It's the Hillary, it's the Clinton notion of the political transaction: we are the well-educated, sophisticated, smarter-than-you, better-than-you people and we're going to give you little things for your little needs.

Careful, Tweety. You'll wear out your welcome at MSNBC if you keep making this much sense. Here's the video.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:16 AM | Comments (13)

Nativity Scenes Vandalized

It's coming to this:

With Dec. 25 only days away, a central image in the celebration of Christmas — the manger scene featuring replicas of Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus — has become the focus of attacks by vandals and leaders of "the secular Left," Christian groups charged on Wednesday.

While the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights was erecting a nativity scene in New York City's Central Park, the group issued a news release condemning three dozen instances in which manger scenes were vandalized or stolen from Antioch, Calif., to Leesburg, Va., this Christmas season. […]

John Fiore has been displaying the nativity scene outside Fiore Funeral Home for 21 years, and now, the baby Jesus and a nesting lamb are missing.

"Where has the Christmas spirit gone that they would stoop so low as to steal the baby Jesus from a nativity scene?" Fiore asked.

The Christmas spirit — like patriotism, honor, loyalty, decency and everything else that makes people worthy of respect — is falling victim to the steady corrosion known as moonbattery.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:46 AM | Comments (2)

December 20, 2007

WaPo Deems Christian-Bashing Todd Rundgren Insufficiently Offensive

To the long list of tired rock-n-roll has-beens spewing moonbattery in hopes of attracting attention we can add 70s leftover Todd Rundgren. But he's not impressing the worldly weirdos at the Washington Post:

[Rundgren's] promises to "offend each and every person in the room" didn't quite deliver, starting with a tame "Fascist Christ" and ending with a listless jab against — yawn — neoconservatives. Sorry; if you want to talk politics in this town, you have to hit a lot harder than that.

The embarrassingly lame video to the lousy "Fascist Christ" song features crosses that turn into swastikas. Sorry, Runtgren: not offensive enough!

Too bad he doesn't have the nerve to direct his insults at Islam. That would offend WaPo.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:59 PM | Comments (13)

Billy Carter, Roger Clinton… and Next, Anthony Rodham?

To paraphrase Hillary Clinton, it takes a federal bureaucracy to raise a child. This is especially true when the child's father is a deadbeat dad who owes their mom tens of thousands of dollars in child support. Isn't that right, Anthony Rodham?

Shrillary's brother Anthony Rotten owes his blushing bride $158,000 in child support and alimony.

On a tip from Charles.

Posted by Van Helsing at 5:31 PM | Comments (1)

Southwestern Oklahoma State University Bans the Word "Christmas"

The War on Christmas rages on at Southwestern Oklahoma State University, where the very word "Christmas" has been banned.

From Liberty Counsel, via Standard Newswire:

Southwestern Oklahoma State University (SWOSU), has issued a disturbing policy which requires all employees to refrain from using the word "Christmas" in oral or written form. This directive was given by the university upon legal advice of the Oklahoma Attorney General, W.A. Drew Edmondson. Liberty Counsel sent a demand letter to SWOSU following a complaint from a university affiliate.

John Misak, the Director of Human Resources, recently visited various university departments and employee groups and informed everyone that any decorations featuring the word "Christmas" in any work or public areas of the university must be immediately removed. He also instructed everyone to discontinue the use of the term "Christmas" in their speech while on the job. This censorship specifically includes exchanging greetings of "Merry Christmas" among employees or with nonemployees, whether initiated by a nonuniversity employee or not. Christmas remains a legal holiday for state employees, including those at SWOSU. The directive does not include any other legal holidays such as Thanksgiving or New Year's.

The announcements made by Misak are in direct violation of the United States Constitution and other federal law. The First Amendment prohibits government from being hostile to religion. Selecting one legal holiday for negative treatment and special restrictions solely because it has religious aspects clearly demonstrates hostility toward religion. Moreover, the free speech rights of employees at the university are infringed when their speech is censored solely because of a religious viewpoint or perceived religious viewpoint. A public employer like SWOSU also violates the Civil Rights Act when it prohibits its employees from saying "Merry Christmas."

Imagine if a foreign army invaded and forbid us to say the word "Christmas." When we were done laughing, we would rebel — I hope. I know our forefathers would have.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:15 PM | Comments (12)

400 Prominent Scientists Confirm That Anthropogenic Global Warming Is a Hoax

A full Senate report includes the findings of 400 prominent scientists who are either skeptical of or emphatically reject the concept of people causing catastrophic climate change.

The evidence against the global warming hoax is piling up so fast, I don't have space even to summarize it. See the report for yourself here.

On a tip from Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:30 PM | Comments (12)

NARAL Nuts Not Backing Down From International Baby Killing on Your Dime

Remember the pathetic Sorry Everybody campaign, in which moonbats incapable of coping with Bush's reelection wallowed in their PEST by holding up signs apologizing to the rest of the world for America's iniquity in not electing the treasonous fool John "Botched Joke" Kerry?

The concept was so successful at overturning the results of the 2004 election, it's being recycled by the baby-butchering fiends at NARAL, who want abortion fans to submit pictures of themselves holding up signs reading "We're not backing down." The point of the campaign is to persuade the government to spend money expropriated from your paycheck to abort babies in places like Kenya and Nepal.

But what's this? Some of the militant moonbats seem to have written down their own messages:

Hat tip: Free Republic, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:48 PM | Comments (4)

Russell Means Secedes From USA

Indian activist Russell Means, claiming to speak for the Lakota Indians, has created his own country by unilaterally withdrawing from a 150-year-old treaty. Rants Means:

We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us.

Diplomatic missions for his imaginary nation, which includes parts of Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana and Wyoming, have already been undertaken to the embassies of Bolivia, Chile, South Africa and Venezuela. If Jacques Chirac were still around, I'm sure they would have hit the French embassy too.

Past publicity stunts by Means include occupying Alcatraz Island (to the delight of the moonbats at PBS), as well as Mount Rushmore, the Bureau of Indian Affairs and Wounded Knee.

Means has been arrested numerous times, on charges ranging from battery to murder. He pals around with disreputable characters like Larry Flynt and Ward Churchill. But he has at least one redeeming quality: he doesn't like the politically correct term "Native American."

On a tip from matterhorn.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:25 AM | Comments (6)

2008 Democratic National Convention Schedule of Events

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning
7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the UN
7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet — Al Gore
8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning — Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals — John Kerry
9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons — Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" — Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund — Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay — Sean Penn
11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs — William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers — Howard Dean
12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" — Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am ~ Hillary Rodham Clinton announces Bill Clinton as her running mate for VP
1:40 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

Compliments of Harry.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:35 AM | Comments (1)

Villain of the Year

Some expected Time magazine to indulge its moonbattery by choosing global warming hoax profiteer Al Gore as its ballyhooed Person of the Year. But the Time folks found another way to poke Western Civilization in the eye: they picked Russian strongman Vladimir Putin.

Former KGB agent Putin is hostile to the USA, and has been systemically strangling democracy in Russia. Yet Time raves:

[I]f Russia succeeds as a nation-state in the family of nations, it will owe much of that success to one man, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Time reps will tell you that they don't necessarily like the Person of the Year, which may be true — yet it would be foolish to deny that it's perceived as an honor by those who still take the magazine seriously. If they aren't aware of this, why didn't Osama bin Laden get the nod in 2001?

Bill O'Reilly has found a much more suitable 2007 candidate: General David Petraeus, who has worked miracles in Iraq, to the horror of Democrats who have invested heavily in our defeat at the hands of al-Qaeda.

On tips from BUUUUURRRRNING and baldeagle390.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:46 AM | Comments (2)

A Relocation Plan for Club Gitmo Vacationers

What to do with the deadly terrorists vacationing at Club Gitmo if irresponsible bureauweenies succeed in closing it down in a futile attempt to placate our enemies? Why not force law-abiding citizens to take the Islamic maniacs into their homes? Britain provides a precedent:

A convicted criminal has moved in with a married couple against their wishes after giving their address in court as his home.

Shane Sims, 19, has spent the last few days living with Brenda and Robert Cole after he was sentenced to a week's curfew for breaching a supervision order.

But the couple claim the first they knew about it was when Sims, a friend of their daughter, moved in on Thursday — followed by security contractors who put a box in a bedroom to monitor his movements with an ankle tag.

Complains Brenda Cole:

It's turned our lives upside down. He's taken over the whole place. He sprawls across the sofa and he's always in the bathroom when you need it. It's an absolute disgrace. They've let a criminal come into our home and there is nothing we can do about it. How can he get away with giving false details? Can crooks pick anywhere they like and just move in? Who needs to break into a house when the courts will do it all for you? When the men turned up and installed the tag box, I thought it was some kind of a joke. I told them there had been a mistake but they just said it wasn't their problem.

Their criminal houseguest responds:

I'm staying here until the tag's off. There's f**k all you can do about it. The courts have told me to.

With the lunatics now running the asylum, Gitmo's days are numbered — unless they convert it to a reeducation camp for global warming deniers.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:24 AM | Comments (2)

Blackle: Ruin Your Eyes for Gaia

For those who don't find Google moonbatty enough, there is now Blackle:

Blackle was created by Heap Media to remind us all of the need to take small steps in our everyday lives to save energy. Blackle searches are powered by Google Custom Search.

Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. "Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen." Roberson et al, 2002

A further benefit is that reading white on black type will give you a headache and burn out your eyes, allowing you to establish your willingness to suffer for Gaia.

Thanks to enviromoonbattery, we are now experiencing a spectacular renaissance in the art of self-parody.

On a tip from El Presidente.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:21 AM

Second Most Popular Boys' Name in Britain: Mohammed

When all the alternative spellings are counted, "Mohammed" is the second most popular boys' name in Britain, coming in at 6,347 babies, up from 5,936 last year. Let's hope no one is naming teddy bears Mohammed.

Imagine if the second-most popular name in the early 1940s had been "Adolf." Would Britain have realized it had a problem?

Hat tip: Right Mind, on a tip from Dave.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:05 AM | Comments (7)

Ron Paul: Lift Sanctions on Iran

Ron Paul's libertarian ideas can be very appealing — what reasonable American wouldn't want to cut the size of the government and pull out of the execrable UN? — but unfortunately his dangerously naive attitude toward foreign policy disqualifies him for higher office.

Now Paul wants to lift sanctions on Iran and pull the Navy back from its shores. It's almost as if he takes the bogus NIE report seriously.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:49 AM | Comments (6)

Global Warming Is Over

Bad news for global warming profiteers and the power-mad bureaucrats infesting the UN: the slight warming trend we experienced during the 80s and 90s ended years ago:

The fact is that the global temperature of 2007 is statistically the same as 2006 as well as every year since 2001. Global warming has, temporarily or permanently, ceased. Temperatures across the world are not increasing as they should according to the fundamental theory behind global warming — the greenhouse effect.

Unfortunately, the pendulum could start to swing back toward the global cooling we experienced between 1940 and 1978. As everyone but moonbats intuitively understands, cold weather is more of a challenge than warm.

On a tip from Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:26 AM | Comments (6)

Moonbat Boat Runs on Human Flesh

On March 1, Pete Bethune will promote the use of biodiesel fuel by wasting 165,000 liters of it on a 24,000-mile journey in his boat Earthrace. Proclaims the New Zealander:

Politicians in Western Europe must be prepared to stand up to the oil industry and be more supportive of the biofuels industry to make sure the production of biofuels is sustainable.

Indicating just how seriously Bethune takes his enviromoonbattery, he and two other fanatics underwent liposuction, producing 2 1/2 gallons of human fat, enough to run the boat for 8 nautical miles. Only 23,992 miles to go!

The idea of using human bodies as fuel is a disturbing escalation of the mentality that already has governments mandating the use of human food for fuel. In light of strident calls from environmentalists for a radical reduction of the human population, it's downright terrifying.

On the positive side, it's encouraging to learn that even Teddy Kennedy's head could be an energy source.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:06 AM | Comments (6)

December 19, 2007

Bureaucrat Frets Over Traumatized Toilet Worms

In New Zealand, even worms have a right not to be oppressed:

Coll Bell, who built the "wormorator" as an alternative to septic tanks, was asked to get an expert's report on its mental impact on the tiger worms after an official became concerned during a site visit, the Sunday Star Times said.

"She felt that the worms were being unfairly treated, being expected to deal with human faeces, and that it could affect them in a psychological way," Bell told the newspaper. […]

In Bell's invention, a colony of worms filters solids from the toilet waste and the leftover water is filtered into underground trenches.

The Auckland Regional Council's concerns went down the pan after vermiculture consultant Patricia Naidu found the worms in excellent health and breeding happily.

Yes, but were the worms' feelings hurt?

On a tip from baldeagle390.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:49 PM | Comments (17)

Global Warming Hoax Is Hitting Us in the Stomach

Due to the global warming hoax and the farm lobby, the political expedience of biofuels outweighs their economic inefficiency. That's why we heavily subsidize them with our tax dollar. But the flagrant waste of our money by profligate bureaucrats isn't the highest price we will pay for biofuel foolishness. The cost of food is being sent toward the stratosphere.

Corn-based ethanol doesn't just drive up corn prices. Because other crops are sacrificed to grow the corn, and because corn products are used to feed livestock, most all food prices are effected.

Consumer grocery costs are already up by 5% over the last year, and feed costs by as much as 30%. But that's only the beginning. Congress is about to double the mandate for ethanol.

Complains Jay Truitt, vice president of government affairs for the National Cattlemen's Beef Association:

We continue to be caught up in this fervor, almost spirituality, about ethanol. You can't get anyone to consider that there is a consequence to these actions. We think there will be a day when people ask, "Why in the world did we do this?"

The answer is simple: because politicians are irresponsible fools, and moonbattery is ubiquitous.

At least corn farmers benefit. A record 13.2 billion bushels were produced this year, yet the price just keeps rising. Unfortunately everyone else suffers. But it's wonderful to know that bureaucrats are doing something about the imaginary climate change crisis.

Drink up while you can, girls. Brewers have to compete with livestock farmers for a diminishing supply of barley.

Hat tip: Environmental Economics, on a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:18 PM | Comments (5)

Harold Meyerson Takes MSM's Anti-Christian Bigotry Off the Rails

The moonbats at WaPo might want to keep the utterly unhinged Harold Meyerson on a tighter leash. The seething, demonic hatred he vomits at Christian Republicans is not enhancing the paper's credibility.

Today Meyerson gasps in horror that the President identified Jesus as his favorite philosopher (as if the world had ever produced a more influential one), and denounces Mitt Romney for declaring a belief in Jesus. He proclaims that Republican policy is "a merry mix of torture and piety," because many Republicans have enough sense not to rule out continuing to save American lives by using waterboarding in terrorist interrogations.

Then Christians are righteously accused of wanting to "persecute" the illegal aliens who are overwhelming large parts of the country. Lapsing into the rhetoric of an overwrought 13-year-old, Meyerson equates Christians with the Ku Klux Klan because some want to reestablish border security and the rule of law.

According to Meyerson, Christians are characterized by "bigotry" and "rank, fetid hypocrisy."

Rank, fetid hypocrisy smells pretty awful, as I can attest after wading through Meyerson's bigoted diatribe.

Harold Meyerson: Bigotry and rank, fetid hypocrisy incarnate.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:22 AM | Comments (6)

The Real Lessons of Vietnam

The parallels liberals incessantly draw between Iraq and Vietnam will constitute a self-fulfilling prophesy — if they are once again able to bring about American defeat with catastrophic results. Arthur Herman has written an excellent piece on the real lessons of the Vietnam War, which was won by our troops but then lost by our government on behalf of our own profoundly despicable Left.

Herman concludes:

In identifying the Khmer Rouge massacres as "a direct and understandable response to the still more concentrated and extreme savagery of a U.S. assault that may in part have been designed to evoke this very response," Noam Chomsky and Edward Herman typified a more widespread moral deadening that had slowly spread like a poison across the American Left during and after the war, and that permeates casual discourse to this day. The poison resulted from the exercise of building and sustaining an entirely fictionalized version of reality in Vietnam, and from steadfastly refusing to weigh the actions of America's enemies in the same ethical balance as the actions of America itself.

Above all, antiwar activists and critics of American policy in the media denied their own moral responsibility for what happened in Vietnam and Indochina once the policy they themselves had vociferously advocated—namely, withdrawal and disengagement—was carried out. When, four years after the fall of Saigon, Joan Baez, Richard John Neuhaus, and other former antiwar activists tried to draw attention to the plight of Vietnam's boat people and the brutal tyranny that had been established in that country, their former comrades, led by celebrities like Tom Hayden and Jane Fonda, denounced them as "stooges" and CIA agents. "Even if the [North] Vietnamese had chosen the course of mass executions and plunder," one of these former comrades stated in a letter, "it would have been our own strategies of terror and brutality that drove them to it."

This collapse of ethical and intellectual integrity would have consequences far beyond Vietnam. In the decades to come, the Vietnam myth would justify the Left's instinctual opposition to America's efforts to contain Communist aggression in Latin America in the 1980's, its characterization of the 1991 Gulf war as a campaign of "blood for oil," and its denunciations of our interventions in Afghanistan and Iraq after 9/11. The need to prop up the same myth in the face of a contradictory reality would fuel the "paranoid style" of leftist conspiracy-mongering in films like Oliver Stone's JFK, Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911, and most recently and blatantly Loose Change, which argues that the Twin Towers were brought down by agents of the Bush administration. And, as President Bush discovered last August, it remains potent enough to trigger the most irrational and rhetorically violent responses when anyone dares challenge its proprietary construction of what the Vietnam war was in fact all about, and what are its lessons.

Historical analogies are never entirely accurate. They may not even be useful. But it remains true that our present and future actions are always based, to some extent, on our evaluation of past experience. Generals are often accused of fighting the last war. This is something that, when it comes to Vietnam, liberals and leftists have been doing for more than three decades, by refusing to confront (in words Peter Marin once flung in the face of American authorities) "their own culpability" and "their own capacity for error and excess." Whatever the differences or similarities between Vietnam and Iraq, or between Vietnam and our global war with Islamic radicalism, the real analogy between then and now may lie in this tenacious refusal of self-examination by the liberal Left—especially when the facts utterly contravene its reflexive indictment of the motives, purposes, and actions of the American government.

In Vietnam, we were not defeated by communism, but by moonbattery. For the sake of mankind's future, we had better not let it happen again.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:06 AM | Comments (3)

Homosexual Brainwashing to Start at Age 2 in California

You have to start early with homosexual brainwashing, before natural revulsion sets in. That's why California public schools will be force-feeding the gay agenda to children as young as two years old:

A list of school resources, sponsored by a homosexual-advocacy group called Safe Schools Coalition, suggests that for those who are only two years old, there's "Felicia's Favorite Story," which tells how she was "adopted by her two mothers."

The list also promotes a book called "Are You a Girl or a Boy?" by Karleen Jiminez, a resource for children ages 4-8 when advocating homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism and other alternative lifestyle choices.

It's described as "A sweet book about a gender-different kid."

Other resources being promoted in light of California's adoption of SB 777 as state law include books authored by officials for Planned Parenthood and the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network.

One book, called "Tackling Gay Issues in School," is for kindergarten through grade 12, and offers a "rationale (for the inclusion of les/bi/gay/trans issues in school)." It features recommended "extracurricular" activities for classes.

The promotion of such materials has coincided with the recent admission by Equality California, a homosexual advocacy group that worked to have SB 777 passed by lawmakers and signed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, that the bill really does edit all school curricula in California.

As Meredith Turney of Capitol Resource Institute observes:

Parents want the assurance that when their children go to school they will learn the fundamentals of reading, writing and arithmetic — not social indoctrination regarding alternative sexual lifestyles. Now that SB 777 is law, schools will in fact become indoctrination centers for sexual experimentation.

Welcome to Calisodomandgomorrah.

Hat tip: Free Republic, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:51 AM | Comments (7)

Illegal Alien Hits the Litigation Jackpot

It sure does pay to violate the USA's sovereignty and spit on its laws, as Moises Carranza-Reyes found out when he was awarded a $1.5 million jackpot in a lawsuit settlement.

Carranza-Reyes alleges that his extravagantly expensive health problems resulted from subpar accommodations at the Park County, Colorado jail. Knowing that in our system, the illegals always win, the county is paying him off with the massive pile of taxpayers' money while denying any wrongdoing. Federal authorities have already paid most of the unemployed undocumented worker's $1 million medical bills.

Poor Carranza-Reyes is still in danger of deportation. But not to worry, $1.5 million buys a lot of law.

It could also buy a lot of land mines, which might have prevented him from sneaking into the country in the first place.

Hat tip: Slapstick Politics.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:04 AM | Comments (1)

Media Responds to Surge's Success With Flood of Phony Stories

One of the many benefits of the success of the Surge in Iraq is that the lack of violence has given MSM propagandists an opportunity to polish their fiction-writing skills. Bogus atrocity reports have been coming out one after another. Via NewsBusters:

• The media's bogus report on 20 headless bodies in Diyala Province Nov. 1, 2007
• The media's bogus report on journalist Dia al-Kawwaz slaughtered family members (with photo!) Nov. 29, 2007
• The media's bogus Afghanistan "construction worker" bombing Dec. 2, 2007
• The bogus Dwelah Massacre Dec. 2, 2007
• The bogus refinery rocket attack Dec. 10, 2007
• The bogus 12 mutilated bodies in Muqdadiya story Dec. 13, 2007
• The bogus Diyala village reports Dec. 16, 2007

If Dems aren't able to force a surrender to al-Qaeda soon, who knows what stories the media will resort to inventing?

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:29 AM | Comments (8)

Abortion Increases Risk of Premature Birth

The damage done by the liberal sacrament of abortion extends beyond the baby that gets butchered. Even Time magazine admits it:

Abortions increase the risk of low birth weight in future pregnancies by a factor of three, and of premature birth by a factor of two, according to the largest U.S. study of its kind. [… T]he report, published today in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health (JECH), shows one of the strongest links yet between miscarriage or abortion on premature birth and low birth weight — major risk factors for infant death or sickness. […]

The study not only found a link between abortion or miscarriage and low birth weight, but it also found that the risk appears to increase with every subsequent miscarriage or abortion. The accruing risk, says co-author Tilahun Adera at Virginia Commonwealth University, suggests that termination of pregnancy is a true cause of low birth weight and preterm birth rather than a variable associated with such conditions. […]

Women who had had one, two or three prior abortions or miscarriages were three, five and nine times more likely, respectively, to have a low-birth-weight child, the data showed.

No crime goes unpunished. The problem is, sometimes the wrong people are punished.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:52 AM | Comments (5)

December 18, 2007

AP: Evil Border Patrol Oppresses Put-Upon Mexicans

Attacks on Border Patrol agents are getting so out of control, agents are actually allowed to respond — with non-lethal force, of course. Mexicans throw rocks and bricks and shoot ball bearings from slingshots to distract agents from those sneaking across the border; occasionally some pepper spray comes back their way as a reminder that technically, the USA is still a sovereign country. Here's how AP reports it:

"A neighbor shouted, 'Stop it! There are children living here," said Esther Arias Medina, 41, who on Wednesday fled her Tijuana, Mexico, shanty with her 3-week-old grandson after the infant began coughing from smoke that seeped through the walls.

A helmeted agent on the U.S. side said nothing as he stood with a rifle on top of a 10-foot border fence next to the three-room home that Arias shares with six others. […]

Witnesses in Arias' neighborhood described eight attacks since August that involved tear gas or pepper spray, some that forced residents to evacuate.

These "attacks" were not attacks, but rather responses to attacks, as our Border Patrol agents attempt to defend themselves from the violent thugs who are colonizing the Southwest from across the border — with the active assistance of both our government and the fifth-column propagandists at AP.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:22 PM | Comments (2)

Ron Paul: Patriotism and Christianity Are Fascist

Add this to the miserable moments in moonbattery archives: Ron Paul is asked to comment on a Mike Huckabee ad in which a window frame in the background could be construed as resembling a cross. He responds by paraphrasing the moonbat author Sinclair Lewis, who said:

When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

This from a guy running as a Republican. Seeing is believing:

Now that we can see fascism approaching, we know that it's actually wrapped in the global warming hoax and carrying a compact fluorescent light bulb.

Hat tip: Free Republic, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:58 PM | Comments (13)

The Decline and Fall of European Freedom

Here's a little piece of unfolding European history you won't learn about from the BBC. Having failed to establish a European Super-State through democratic processes, bureauweenies are now ramming it through by force, with the assistance of complicit state-run media and sneaky quislings like Gordon Brown. The few people who know enough to protest are hushed and ignored.

If the British ever awake from their moonbattery-induced stupor and wonder why unelected bureaucrats are running what used to be their country from Brussels, this video — which Eurothugs reportedly tried to confiscate — may help explain:

Hat tip: The Devil's Kitchen, on a tip from David Davis.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:37 PM | Comments (19)

Girls Cause Global Warming by Liking Guys With Fast Cars

Among the countless things that must be forbidden to save us from the imaginary climate change crisis are girls who like guys who drive sports cars:

Women must stop admiring men who drive sports cars if they want to join the fight against global warming, the [British] Government's chief scientist [Sir David King] has urged […] adding that they should divert their affections to men who live more environmentally-friendly lives.

Sir David intones that "a culture change is needed" so that girls will start finding envirodorks like Sped Begley Jr. sexually appealing, and stop making eyes at guys in Ferraris.

Past pronouncements by this bureaucratic barnacle include a statement that the global warming farce is more serious than Muslim terrorism, and even that "our civilization has never had to face up to as big a challenge as the climate change challenge of the 21st century."

Or rather, moonbat bureauweenies have never had to face up to as big a challenge as persuading us to give up our freedom, our national sovereignty and our standard of living to avert a crisis that does not exist.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 5:41 PM | Comments (10)

DC Building Deemed Too Ugly to Demolish

A Washington congregation is not permitted to demolish or even alter their own crumbling church precisely because it is hideous.

The Third Church of Christ, Scientist church, built in 1971, is costing them a fortune to maintain. But maintain it they must, because it has been deemed a prime example of the atrocious mid-century design school aptly called "Brutalism."

WaPo's Metro columnist Marc Fisher calls the building "antagonistic to human spirituality" and an "example of a failed and arrogant architectural experiment." This would explain why bureaucrats are imposing it on its own shrinking congregation by force.

So much for property rights and the separation of church and state.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:41 PM | Comments (4)

Global Warming Hysteria Is Leading to Food Shortages

Environmental extremism, potentially the worst threat facing civilization, is already resulting in food shortages. Shamelessly, the moonbat media uses this crisis to promote the same global warming hoax that caused it:

In an "unforeseen and unprecedented" shift, the world food supply is dwindling rapidly and food prices are soaring to historic levels, the top food and agriculture official of the United Nations warned Monday.

The changes created "a very serious risk that fewer people will be able to get food," particularly in the developing world, said Jacques Diouf, head of the UN Food and Agriculture Organization.

What's causing the shortages? Why, global warming, of course. Factors include "the early effects of global warming, which has decreased crop yields in some crucial places, and a shift away from farming for human consumption toward crops for biofuels."

The "crucial places" are those that have experienced weather phenomena of any kind that could interfere with food production, including both droughts and floods. Ironically, if the climate really were warming significantly, and if CO2 really were building up in the atmosphere, agriculture would benefit. Farming used to take place in currently frozen regions like Greenland, and might again if only the climate would thaw out a little. CO2 is what plants breathe. Its beneficial effects on them have reduced some in the media to fretting about healthier poison ivy.

Unfortunately climate change hysteria, unlike global warming itself, is perfectly real. It has resulted in bureaucrats putting food into gas tanks instead of people's bellies. Naturally there is a price to pay for this moonbattery, and naturally the poor — for whom the liberal elite claims to feel such solicitude — are the first to have to pay it.

On a tip from matterhorn.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:07 PM | Comments (3)

Oxfam: Give Africans Dung for Christmas

Looking to buy Christmas gifts for anonymous Africans? Oxfam Unwrapped is your one-stop shop. Gift ideas include advice, condoms, toilets and dung.

An ad featuring various British celebrities promotes the service:

Nathalie Rothschild is unimpressed:

Western shoppers' gifts for Africa can come in all shapes and sizes. For example, you can buy 'gifts that grow', which can include agricultural tools and also training in farming methods; you can buy 'positive pressies', which can mean actual condoms or possibly counselling sessions for people living with HIV and AIDS; or you can buy 'four-legged friends', which can mean real-life goats or 'animal-support activity'. In other words, buy your mum a certificate for a goat or a pack of condoms this Christmas, and an African family may end up with an NGO worker giving them advice on how to 'support' animals, or some Western-style counselling for how to cope with disease. That is about as practical as, well, a tonne of dung.

V the K remarks:

This story has it all. The condescension of privileged first world moonbats, the smugness that they know what's best for the brown peoples of the world, the truth that moonbats aren't helping third worlders better their lives just sustaining them in poverty, all in the name of political correctness.

Maybe, but if you give through Oxfam, you get a special refrigerator magnet, with a picture of gratefully smiling peasants to show off to your friends.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:28 AM | Comments (5)

What's in a Name?

Duke University researchers, testing the mathematical skills of macaque monkeys, used a pair of female subjects named Feinstein and Boxer. As a reward for their participation, the monkeys were given their favorite treat: some Kool-Aid.

Who would have guessed they like Kool-Aid?

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin, on a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:11 AM

A Lesson in Cherry Picking

The Clintonoid propaganda mill Think Progress excels at the technique of cherry picking — i.e., misleading by taking fragmentary quotes out of context. Noel Sheppard recently ridiculed the shrill demagogue Keith Olbermann's pompous claim that the vindictive tantrums he throws on looney-left MSNBC constitute journalism. The piece included this excerpt (emphasis in original):

Wonderfully, referring to himself as a journalist wasn't the only hysterical utterance from Olbermann during this interview, as he also had the unmitigated audacity to criticize conservative radio host Michael Savage for "basically just spattering invective on people he didn't like."

Hey, Keith, have you ever actually watched your program or read a transcript?

Think Progress managed to spin it into this:

The right wing blog Newsbusters, which is a project of the Media Research Center, came to Savage's defense yesterday, calling Olbermann's criticism a "hysterical utterance." "He also had the unmitigated audacity to criticize conservative radio host Michael Savage," wrote Newsbusters' Noel Sheppard.

While Newsbusters has every right to disagree with and criticize Olbermann, it is laughable to suggest that someone needs "unmitigated audacity" to criticize Michael Savage.

Think Progress wants its dupes to believe that conservatives regard Michael Savage as a holy prophet above all criticism. But quoting Sheppard's entire sentence would have made it clear he was only pointing out Olbie's supreme hypocrisy.

Cherry picking can be used to spin — or as Think Progress demonstrates, to tell downright lies.

Think Progress would edit the sentence, "Keith Olbermann is the perfect example of a man who ought to be corralled by guys in white coats with butterfly nets" down to "Keith Olbermann is the perfect example of a man."

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:42 AM

Moonbat Minister Says Jesus Was a Communist

While some liberals try to suppress Christianity at Christmastime, others try to hijack it for their own unholy ends. WaPo's Religion Watch includes a short review of The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus by publicly homosexual minister Peter Gomes of Harvard:

He is not as interested in sin and salvation as he is in rethinking Jesus's message, and he delights in the notion of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. He contends that Jesus was a revolutionary, a radical and a socialist — that Jesus "would not have been unsympathetic to the famous social slogan of the nineteenth century, 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.'"

Attempting to equate Christianity with socialism only highlights the stark differences between them. Both the Christian and the socialist may want to comfort the afflicted. But Christians believe in free will. Socialists believe in coercive government force. Christianity produces saints and redemption. Socialism produces slaves and parasitism.

Peter Gomes: a black guy who agrees with Marx's "from each according to his ability" — i.e., slavery.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:56 AM | Comments (10)

His Cradle: A Trash Can

Something good has finally come of public TV. Spain's national television has broadcast abortions.

Who would want to watch something so gruesome and evil? No one. But everyone should watch anyway.

A baby is injected with poison while still inside his mother, then his corpse is expelled. The commentator's voice-over:

The baby is born dead. His cradle: a trash can.

As an undercover reporter examines an aborted child, the voice-over continues:

Hands, feet, a face. The cadaver of a human being.

A female abortionist says she never looks at the bodies:

"Never?" asks the undercover reporter, who is posing as a doctor looking for work at the clinic. "Never," the woman repeats "Never, never, never again!" When asked why, the doctor says "Because I don't like it." "Of course, you are a mother, I assume, right?" the reporter asks. No answer is given.

In Spain, abortions aren't supposed to be just for convenience. But many of them are:

The doctor explicitly acknowledges in the video that many of the patients have no valid reason for their abortions. However, she assures the reporter that the clinic has a psychiatrist who will automatically sign the necessary forms to authorize it because of "psychological" need as required under Spanish law.

"Here they sign everything," she says. "The psychiatrist is a member of the clinic and everything is done in house." The test she gives is "a mere procedure."

Not all babies come out in one piece. Sometimes abortionists cut them up so they can be extracted more easily. The results look like this:

Too bad they don't show this on PBS. It might cure a few people of voting for Democrats.

On a tip from Dave.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:00 AM | Comments (14)

December 17, 2007

Classic Shrillary Cackle

Better tuck this one away for next Halloween:

If Shrillary's political fortunes stay on their current downhill trajectory, she could always head to Hollywood and get work in low-budget horror movies. Imagine her letting out that soulless cackle right before she biting out some nubile camper's throat. Even Jason Voorhees would wet his pants in terror.

Via Hot Air.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:26 PM | Comments (8)

Wiccan Pentacle Removed From Nativity Scene

As an attempt to acknowledge Christmas without being set upon by a pack of jackals from the ACLU, a Wiccan pentacle — i.e., a symbol of witchcraft — was added to a nativity scene on the roof of Green Bay City Hall.

However, not all of us have developed a tolerance for politically correct blasphemy. A "vandal" removed the pentacle, which would look great on the cover of a death metal album, but which is obscene in the context of a Christmas nativity scene. The three-foot pentacle was found behind some nearby shrubs.

Now the City Council will labor to decide whether they dare leave up the nativity scene. Given their willingness to see it defiled, I'm guessing they don't.

Maybe this would placate the ACLU as an addition to Christmas nativity scenes.

Hat tip: WuzzaDem.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:23 PM | Comments (13)

Moonbat Architecture

At least it's an aptly named product:

American artist Michael Rakowitz's paraSITE project proposed to take advantage of the exterior ventilation systems on existing architecture to give the homeless a temporary shelter.

The deflated structure have handles to be easily transported or can be carried on one's back. Once he has found the outtake ducts of a building's HVAC (Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning) system, the user attach the intake tube of the structure to the vent. The warm air leaving the building inflates and heats the membrane structure.

From February 1998 until April 1998, the artist distributed seven prototypes of the paraSITE shelter to several homeless people in Cambridge.

While these shelters were being used, they functioned also as a protest device against authorities willing to make their cities "homeless-proof". They made even more visible the unacceptable circumstances of homeless life within the city.

Apparently Gavin Newsom hasn't heard about these, because they haven't yet been issued to every derelict in San Francisco at taxpayers' expense.

On a tip from Matt.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:26 PM | Comments (2)

More Moonbattery From Erica Vieyra's Spanish Class

It seems the "let's pretend we're illegal aliens" exercises reported on yesterday barely scratch the surface of the moonbattery Erica Vieyra is ramrodding down her students' throats at Olentangy Liberty High in Powell, Ohio. This Goes to 11 reveals that Ms. Vieyra has a website, where parents can see for themselves what their kids have been learning instead of Spanish.

For example, students watch political movies like A Day Without a Mexican and Wetback. Unsurprisingly, Border didn't make the syllabus.

But students do more than watch movies sympathetic to illegal aliens. They're also immersed in the works of Frida Kahlo, a mediocre Mexican painter and nasty communist:

Kahlo's Communism—now treated as somehow sort of quaint—led her to embrace some unforgivable political positions. In 1936, [Kahlo's husband Diego] Rivera, a dedicated Trotskyite, used his clout to petition the Mexican government to give Trotsky and his wife asylum after they were forced out of Norway. Rivera and Kahlo put up the Trotskys in Kahlo's family home, where Kahlo seduced the older man. (She painted a self-portrait dedicated to him that now hangs in Washington's NMWA.)

After Trotsky was assassinated, however, Kahlo turned on her old lover with a vengeance, claiming in an interview that Trotsky was a coward and had stolen from her while he stayed in her house (which wasn't true). "He irritated me from the time that he arrived with his pretentiousness, his pedantry because he thought he was a big deal," she said.

Rarely is this unflattering detail included in the condensed Kahlo story. Nor is the fact that Kahlo turned on Trotsky because she had become a devout Stalinist. Kahlo continued to worship Stalin even after it had become common knowledge that he was responsible for the deaths of millions of people, not to mention Trotsky himself. One of Kahlo's last paintings was called "Stalin and I," and her diary is full of her adolescent scribblings ("Viva Stalin!") about Stalin and her desire to meet him. Less scandalous but worth noting is that Kahlo despised the very gringos who now champion her work, and her art reflects her obvious disdain for the United States. One wonders what the postal service was thinking when it put Kahlo on a stamp. "Visas are denied to [foreign] artists with Frida Kahlo's politics," notes [Whitney] Chadwick [author of Women, Art and Society].

Octavio Paz aptly described Frida Kahlo as "a despicable cur." But at least Ohio taxpayers didn't have to finance her moonbattery. If only the same could be said for Erica Vieyra.

Here's a clip from Frida, which the kids watch instead of doing lessons. They might not pick up much Spanish from it, but they will learn how trendy it is to be bisexual:

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:52 PM | Comments (41)

A Christmas Card for the ACLU

Christmas is the time we reach out in good cheer to everyone — even Scrooges who don't deserve it. So don't forget to send a Christmas card to the anti-Christian militants at the ACLU.

Here's a good one:

Send your card with a suitably themed stamp to:

ACLU
125 Broad Street
18th Floor
New York, NY 10004

Via Wake Up America, which suggests that instead of sending Christmas cards to the moonbats at the ACLU, you donate to the Alliance Defense Fund or the American Center for Law and Justice.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:43 PM | Comments (4)

Sheer, Unadulterated Insanity — On Your Dime

Read it and weep:

The United States has announced its plan to donate 555 million dollars to the budget of the PLO as part of the Conference of Donors for a Palestinian State conference held Monday in Paris. The pledge includes 150 million dollars in direct funding for Abbas' Fatah government.

Monday's conference is expected to raise almost 6 billion dollars in aid for the PLO, which will be used to run local Arab infrastructure and plans for the next 3 years.

Israeli analysts have accused the United States of pressuring Israel to make concessions to the Arab world as part of US President George W. Bush's goal to create a Palestinian state by the end of his term.

The PLO, as even the suicidal morons running our government might have heard, is a terrorist organization, implacably hostile not only to Israel but to the entire non-Muslim world.

Palestinians dancing in the streets on 9/11.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:54 PM | Comments (1)

Words of Wisdom From Alan Caruba

Alan Caruba knows what's at stake if Al Gore and his UN accomplices win the global warming propaganda war they are waging against modern civilization:

If I were to devise a plan to destroy the greatest economy, creator of wealth, center of innovation, and exemplar of individual liberty that has ever existed in human history, I would patiently create fear of a global disaster involving the one thing over which humans never had and never will have control, the earth's climate. I would then propose a "solution" that would cost that economy billions in "carbon credits" to keep it from occurring.

What the former Soviet Union and its failed Communist system could not achieve in some 45 years of the Cold War, the environmental movement is seeking to achieve in its place. By undermining the economy of the United States and Western nations with draconian limits on CO2 emissions, those behind this effort will create a world ripe for a single ruling government composed of unelected bureaucrats whose only purpose will be to feed at its trough.

The single greatest determinant of the Earth's climate, the Sun, will continue to shine, but the world will be plunged yet again into the darkness of ignorance and submission to the false religion of environmentalism if the global warming lie succeeds.

Now is the time to argue back, while we still can. If the history of totalitarian movements is any guide, it won't be long before the authorities become extremely aggressive in silencing truth-tellers like Caruba.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:42 PM | Comments (1)

Tom Friedman, High-Living Eco-Bolshevik

Al Gore isn't the only environmental extremist with a carbon footprint the size of Godzilla's. While hobnobbing in Bali with the insidious UN bureauweenies who have been actively plotting our economic downfall, New York Times moonbat Thomas Friedman decided that we must immediately resort to "radical collective action" — i.e., recreate the Soviet Union on an international scale — to combat the mythical climate change menace.

Closer to home, Friedman's former neighbor reports via Power Line:

I lived within shouting distance of Friedman. Take a look at the carbon footprint this guy leaves. He lives on about seven acres — it was once the home site of a prominent Washington attorney…The house sits on a hill with a great view and a western exposure. Friedman bought the house from the late lawyer's family about five years ago, tore down the huge older house and constructed an [over 11,000] square foot residence, with 7.5 bathrooms, on the hilltop. It is beautifully landscaped, as you can tell from the aerial/satellite photographs, and the foliage likely requires a lot of water. The property is listed on the tax rolls for [well over $9,000,000]. It makes me feel better that those who preach environmentalism practice such a modest intrusion on the environment itself.

Too bad we can't run our economy on liberal hypocrisy. It's the one resource that will never be depleted.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:09 PM | Comments (10)

Vegetarian Pets

Irony is easy to find in the world of moonbattery, but this takes the prize: moonbats have been abusing animals by forcing their dogs and cats to share their vegetarian diet.

Rosslyn Smith reports:

A search on the term 'vegetarian diet cats' will bring up many sites that urge people to place their "companion animals" on vegetarian and vegan diets. Some even claim such an action will lengthen the animals' lives. Unfortunately cats will sicken, can go permanently blind and may even die on such fare unless a great deal of care is taken to provide additional nutrients, particularly vitamin A, which cats cannot synthesize from carotene as people and dogs do, taurine and arachidonic acid.

Dogs are more omnivorous by design than cats, so they are less likely to become ill from misguided owners who try to turn them into vegetarians. That does not mean that many dogs like the idea, however. The vegetarians on the other side of my valley tried to feed their dogs such a diet only to find their springer spaniel, Livy, was always inviting herself over to share my dog Clare's supper. Livy would also hang out around the local campground where she was known to retrieve entire chickens and steaks off of the grills.

Cats and dogs, like people, were designed to eat meat. That's why we have incisors.

Next moonbats will try to turn our cars into vegetarians by asking us to put vegetable products in our gas tanks. Okay, maybe that would be too crazy.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:37 AM | Comments (5)

Mike Huckabee: Jimmy Carter Part II

Selwyn Duke notes that Mike Huckabee isn't the first liberal candidate to garner the support of fellow evangelical Christians — we already endured Jimmy Carter, acknowledged by many as the worst president in American history (as well as the worst ex-president). Like Jimmy the Dhimmi, Huckleberry would almost certainly find the nearest cliff to his left and leap off it, dragging the country along behind.

Here's the Huckster on the illegal alien crisis:

One of the great challenges facing us is that we do not commit the same mistakes with our growing Hispanic population that we did with African Americans 150 years ago and beyond. We're still paying the price for the pathetic manner in which this country handled that.

That is, if you think America is a sovereign country with a right to defend its borders from invasion, you must be a racist. Reasoning with people who use this kind of rhetoric simply isn't possible.

Roy Beck of NumbersUSA confirms:

[Huckabee] was an absolute disaster on immigration as governor. Every time there was any enforcement in his state, he took the side of the illegal aliens.

Huck has supported in-state tuition for illegal aliens and even diversity in language, meaning we'll need to start speaking Spanish. He's opposed not only a ban on providing state services to illegal aliens, but even requiring proof of citizenship to vote. If anyone could be worse on this critical issue than Bush, Huck would be the schmuck.

Jimmy Carter sold us out by giving away the Panama Canal and humiliatingly bending over for Iran's ayatollahs, which established our vulnerability in the Muslim world, thereby opening the door for the terror war that brought us 9/11. Huckabee would sell us out by facilitating our colonization by Third World hordes who overburden our services, spit on our laws and pour over our border not as immigrants, but as a vanquishing army intent on displacing us from our own country.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:54 AM | Comments (4)

Nutroots Already Panicking About Next Fall's Elections

Liberal smugness about next year's elections is dissipating along with al-Qaeda in Iraq and Shrillary's aura of invincibility. Among the countless reasons to long for a Republican victory is the reaction it will provoke on the Left. Panic is already setting in at Dhimmicratic Underground, where the moonbats fret and gibber on a thread entitled "What IF a republican wins in 2008? What actions will you take?" A few samples:

I'm down with revolution.

It will not be business as usual. I will absolutely not grant an iota of slack for any political position whatsoever that isn't based on applying socialist principles to promote the general welfare and lose the rugged individualist hero worship nonsense.

Hunker down for harder times that will surely be coming. We live on a small farm and raise the majority of what we eat, meat included. We will carry on. Leaving the country is not an option, I doubt I could get into Canada much less anywhere else due to my record. We already have supplies backed up in the event of 'things getting hinky'. If the people revolt, I will be on the front lines. I am prepared for that also, well prepared…to the gills prepared. I don't mean fire sticks and farm implements either.

They didn't win the last two but it didn't matter. If they continue to hold power the U.S.A. will get into a world wide conflict. It will be vast, possibly with our former allie's turning against us, and justifiably.

But don't question their patriotism! These are ominous:

Buying more guns and plenty of ammunition!

Buying a high powered rifle with a scope. To hunt with! Honest!

Speaking of being honest…

i'll probably have a nervous breakdown. i wonder if my health insurance will pay for my stay in the nut house.

I've already got my guns, would love the idea of revolution but… I will pussy out and probably leave the country.

Many other moonbats agree:

I might start hoarding Euros and sharp sticks while I plan an escape in a few years.

I'm interested in hearing about countries that allow anyone to just move into.

I know one… but these moonbats are already in America, unfortunately.

I'm looking into Canada as a first option. […] We would most likely drive or fly. If neither is a possibility at the time then I don't think the biggest problem is which party the president is registered under. Sweden is my "Oh god they're really taking liberals to camps" option because they take in political refugees.

Let's hope he remembers to pack his tinfoil hat.

Despite the now traditional hysterical promises, try not to get your hopes up about moonbats leaving the country if they aren't able to put a socialist in the White House.

Hat tip: DUmmie FUnnies, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:19 AM | Comments (14)

Castro Goons Get Rude Reception in Caracas

Hugo Chavez's attempts to remake Venezuela as a second communist Cuba continues to encounter popular resistance. From Free Republic:

A group of Cubans who arrived in Venezuela from Cuba on Saturday December 15, received an unfriendly welcome at Maiquetía airport in Caracas.

Hundreds of Venezuelans at the airport received the Cubans, who were wearing t-shirts with the face of the criminal mass murderer Che Guevara, with loud boos and yells of "fuera" (get out).

Venezuela's official media and pro-Chavez groups who were at the airport to welcome the Cubans, never expected such a strong reaction from regular Venezuelans who were at the airport waiting for relatives and friends. Some of the Cubans looked around not knowing what to do.

Here's video:

This is the reception our delegation to Bali should receive, when it gets back from sipping fruity drinks by the pool and selling us out to hostile Lilliputians.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:08 AM | Comments (1)

Mayer Hillman: Democracy Is Less Important Than Imposing Carbon Rationing

Mayer Hillman, senior fellow emeritus at the Policy Studies Institute, offers an indication of what's in store for us if the bureaucrats controlling our fate don't stop rolling over for international moonbattery.

As you've probably heard, moonbats are now opposed to carbon, the basis of all known life. We eat it, we exhale it and we burn it to create the energy that runs civilization. Hillman wants it rationed, and to hell with public consent:

When the chips are down I think democracy is a less important goal than is the protection of the planet from the death of life, the end of life on it. This has got to be imposed on people whether they like it or not.

You begin to see why the liberal elite doesn't like private citizens owning guns. At some point the populace will rise up against the crimes being committed against it in the name of the global warming hoax. The sooner this happens, the less economic devastation we will have to endure.

Creepy elitists like Mayer Hillman are working to impose poverty and totalitarianism under cover of the fictional climate change crisis.

Hat tips: Small Dead Animals, The Corner, The Jawa Report; on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:45 AM | Comments (5)

American Rep Waves White Flag at Bali

Yvo de Boer can dry his tears: Paula Dobriansky, head of the US delegation at the Bali farce, has agreed that we will commit economic harikari in the name of the global warming hoax, so as to mitigate the disapproval of hostile bureaucrats.

De Boer is Executive Secretary of the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change. He "is known in the Netherlands for his passionate advocacy" of the global warming hoax. As his fellow bureauweenies squabbled over how best to redistribute America's wealth and suppress economic growth, his emotions became too much for him:

Mr de Boer, distinctively dressed in a floral shirt, stepped up to the microphone to defend his staff — only to find that the words would no longer come.

As his unfinished sentences trailed away, he broke down and walked off the platform to supportive applause.

"He wasn't just wiping his eyes, he was in floods of tears," said one observer.

"Three colleagues — one of them a woman — formed a protective group around him and escorted him out of the hall. It was all very dramatic."

That's him in the silly shirt, next to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moonbat:

Hitler couldn't destroy America, nor could Hirohito. But this weeping kook in a floral shirt just might.

Unable to withstand pressure from clowns like de Boer — and Al Gore's seditious demagoguery — Dobriansky knuckled under to the Lilliputians who are using the imaginary climate change crisis as an opportunity to bring down America. She whimpered that we will "go forward and join consensus."

Too bad you can't buy stock in the UN. It would be the only stock that won't go through the floor when the moonbattery unfolding there hits our economy.

On tips from Ian from the EUSSR and mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:08 AM | Comments (10)

December 16, 2007

Spanish Class Subverted by Moonbattery

Even language classes now consist of indoctrination in the insidious dogma of moonbattery. This is what goes on in a high school Spanish class near Columbus, Ohio:

The students had a role-play project: assume a Latino identity, build an imaginary life in your home country and develop a workable plan to immigrate to the United States.

Try it legally, Erica Vieyra told her 40 senior Spanish students at Olentangy Liberty High School. Fill out the correct documents, follow the proper steps. And then, after they spent days completing the actual paperwork from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, she took out her red ink pad and stamped a big, fat DENIED across every request.

Students are taught that there's no point following the law, because America never lets anyone immigrate legally.

Now, she told the students, come illegally. Forge your documents, find a way across the border. Then, research real ads and find a place to live in Columbus. Figure out what it would cost, how to get food. Plan how to survive.

The students had to go to real businesses and ask for Spanish-language job applications. They had to visit a bank and ask for new-account documents written in Spanish.

Vieyra promised them that the process — even in make-believe — would frustrate them. But they would gain, she hoped, an understanding of what is one of the most important political and humanitarian issues facing the U.S. government today.

Nigel at This Goes to 11 comments:

Well which one of her kids plays the role of the illegal alien who spread tuberculosis because they evaded legal immigrations channels? Or how many kids get to play the illegal aliens who commit gang rape? Did she send her 40 kids to the local emergency room all at the same time to get treatment for their colds…and walk out without paying?

Here's another role-playing concept: Ms. Vieyra should pretend she's a Spanish teacher, since that's what taxpayers are paying her to be, and save the moonbat demagoguery for after hours.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:16 PM | Comments (3)

Eco-friendly Computers

One problem with the green craze is that you can never tell what's for real and what's a joke. For example, AsusTek reportedly plans to make laptops out of bamboo because it's "eco-friendly."

A joke? These days, it's impossible to tell.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:25 PM | Comments (1)

Britain Bans Imitation Samurai Swords

While an American 10-year-old is brought up on felony charges for using a steak knife, Britain is moving us toward progressive utopia by banning imitation Samurai swords.

Those violating the ban face six months in jail and a £5,000 fine. "Real" Japanese swords have been spared — for now. However, some of the Samurai swords most prized by collectors are crafted outside of Japan.

Children shouldn't play with swords, because they might cut themselves. Since under the regime of the nanny state, all of us are children, banning swords makes perfect sense. Next they should ban rocks, lest someone hit their head on one — or worse still use one as a weapon.

The future our liberal elite has planned for you is a small locked room with padded walls, a straightjacket so you can't scratch, and your teeth pulled so you can't bite.

Hat tip: From the Barrel of a Gun, on a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:08 PM | Comments (2)

Felony Charge for 10-Year-Old Steak-Cutter

Nanny state fascism may scar some kids for life. A 10-year-old girl in Marion County, Florida was caught by school officials cutting steak with a steak knife. She was arrested on a felony charge of bringing a weapon to school and transported to a Juvenile Assessment Center.

Educrat Kevin Christian gabbled about Marion County Public Schools' "zero tolerance" policies. The phrase perfectly sums up the demented totalitarian attitudes of the moonbats who run our schools.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:10 PM | Comments (12)

Al Gore Denounces America Again

Al Gore has denounced America on foreign soil before — most notably in Saudi Arabia, home of most of the 9/11 hijackers, where he falsely accused the USA of "terrible abuses" against Arabs at a forum funded by the bin Laden family. But his posturing in front of the socialists gathered in Bali to decide on a strategy for expropriating our wealth is still more appalling, considering his openly seditious rhetoric and the long-term effect it could have on our independence and standard of living.

Bellowed the Goracle to an audience of America-hating UN bobbleheads:

My own country, the United States, is principally responsible for obstructing progress here. We all know that.

The global warming hoax is increasingly revealing itself as an opportunity for the rest of the world to catch up to the US economy — by crippling it. While America is still able to produce wealth, that wealth will be seized by corrupt international institutions in the name of the environment. As usual, Gore full-throatedly sides with our enemies:

[The Goracle] urged delegates to push ahead despite U.S. opposition, even to the point of drafting a negotiating document with blank spaces where American participation should be.

A great civilization is destroyed from within, not from without. By blandly accepting the openly hostile activities of vermin like Al Gore, we are sealing our own fate.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:17 AM | Comments (14)

December 15, 2007

MSM Elitist David Hazinski Denounces Freedom of the Press

For sheer arrogance, it wouldn't be easy to top David Hazinski's recent rant in Atlanta's Urinal-Constipation. Hazinski has had with what he sneeringly refers to as "so called 'citizen journalism'" — the kind that illuminates the lies fed to us by the establishment media he personifies. The solution: regulate the press.

The problem with "citizen journalists" — including bloggers — is that we might emulate folks like Dan Rather and Jayson Blair by indulging in fraud and abuse. Therefore, as Hazinski gabbles:

The news industry should find some way to monitor and regulate this new trend.

Hazinski laments that in America, there are no uniform standards for journalism. Unlike in Cuba and Iran, here anyone can do it.

Ironically Hazinski himself accidentally points to the real solution to inaccuracies in the information that flows all unregulated over the Internet. It isn't the establishment of a Department of Truth; it is the Internet itself:

There are literally hundreds of Internet hoaxes and false reports passed off as true stories, tracked by sites such as snopes.com.

But Hazinski would rather things were run North Korean style, with official bureaucratic standards enforced nationwide.

Fortunately this is still America, as I will prove by posting this entry without getting it cleared by David Hazinski first.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:36 PM | Comments (7)

Free Carbon Offsets!

Carbon credits aren't just for limousine liberals anymore. Now anyone can afford them, because they're available for free at Free Carbon Offsets.

Just fill out a simple form and you can download a personalized carbon offset certificate directly to your computer. I'm proud of mine:

Here's how the folks at Free Carbon Offsets will offset your carbon emissions:

• 1–100 offsets: We will try our hardest to turn off the water for an extra ten seconds while we brush our teeth.
• 101-1000 offsets: We will think about possibly using one less square of toilet paper every time we use the rest room. So you don't have to!
• 1001-10000 offsets: At this level, we will think about not going out to lunch for one day. Gas savings, plus savings on one less burger made that day!
• 10000+ offsets: Premium offsets. We will consider not taking a shower for a whole week!

Why pay more for carbon offsets than they're worth? More importantly, why allow chiselers like Al Gore to get rich off the global warming hoax, which threatens to significantly impair our standard of living and restrict our fundamental liberties?

PS: Since I just acquired a billion carbon offsets, I'd be willing to pass some of them along at a very reasonable rate. Anyone interested?

On a tip from baldeagle390.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:24 AM | Comments (4)

December 14, 2007

Havoc Wreaked by Illegal Alien Identity Theft

Illegal aliens may not pay taxes, but that's no problem for the government — so long as others pay the taxes on the aliens' behalf.

Jamey and Lora Costner of Newport, Tennessee owe $7,854 in federal income tax on 2005 wages paid to two illegal aliens who stole their identities. The government may even garnish the wages paid by their actual jobs. A delinquent tax bill for 2006 hasn't hit them yet, but probably will.

Lora also had trouble collecting workers compensation benefits, apparently because illegal alien Elizabeth Velasco Bautista had been collecting them on her behalf. Jamey almost lost his drivers license because of unpaid citations for speeding and driving without a license, offenses committed by Douglas Valdez, who had stolen his name.

Valdez was not charged with identity theft because a judge ruled that it's not a crime to steal someone's identity to obtain employment.

On a tip from baldeagle390.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:08 PM | Comments (8)

Scientists Petition UN to Stop Pushing Global Warming Hoax

Let's see if the MSM notices this:

One hundred scientists from around the world have signed a letter to the Secretary-General of the United Nations, asking that the absurd global warming hoax be abandoned. An excerpt:

It is not possible to stop climate change, a natural phenomenon that has affected humanity through the ages. Geological, archaeological, oral and written histories all attest to the dramatic challenges posed to past societies from unanticipated changes in temperature, precipitation, winds and other climatic variables. We therefore need to equip nations to become resilient to the full range of these natural phenomena by promoting economic growth and wealth generation.

The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has issued increasingly alarming conclusions about the climatic influences of human-produced carbon dioxide (CO2), a non-polluting gas that is essential to plant photosynthesis. While we understand the evidence that has led them to view CO2 emissions as harmful, the IPCC's conclusions are quite inadequate as justification for implementing policies that will markedly diminish future prosperity. In particular, it is not established that it is possible to significantly alter global climate through cuts in human greenhouse gas emissions. On top of which, because attempts to cut emissions will slow development, the current UN approach of CO2 reduction is likely to increase human suffering from future climate change rather than to decrease it.

The IPCC Summaries for Policy Makers are the most widely read IPCC reports amongst politicians and non-scientists and are the basis for most climate change policy formulation. Yet these Summaries are prepared by a relatively small core writing team with the final drafts approved line-by-line by government representatives. The great majority of IPCC contributors and reviewers, and the tens of thousands of other scientists who are qualified to comment on these matters, are not involved in the preparation of these documents. The summaries therefore cannot properly be represented as a consensus view among experts.

The list of signatories is truly impressive. So much for Al Gore's "consensus."

On a tip from Robert.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:39 PM | Comments (15)

McDermott on Anti-Christmas Vote: W Made Me Do It

"The Devil made me do it," people used to say to justify their transgressions. Moonbats have updated this saying to "George Bush made me do it." This is how Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) excuses voting against recognizing Christmas, right after voting to recognize Ramadan.

McDermott says he had to cast his highly symbolic vote to punish W for resisting the inevitably catastrophic nationalization of our healthcare system in the name of the chiiiiildren.

It's interesting that a liberal Congressman should identify Bush with Christmas to the point of believing he can hurt the President by spitting at the most important holiday on our calendar. Apparently Bush and Christmas both represent facets of something that a corrupt and treasonous kook like McDermott would like to destroy.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:41 AM | Comments (14)

Why Ice Melts in Greenland But Gets Thicker in Antarctica

We all know that if Greenland ever becomes green again, it will be because mankind's industrialized iniquities gave Mother Earth a fever. But just for fun, let's see if there could be a scientific explanation…

Here's one: a natural magma hotspot. Scientists have discovered a thin spot in the Earth's crust that is allowing magma to rise close to the surface.

According to Ralph von Frese of Ohio State University:

It could be that there's a volcano down there, but we think it's probably just the way the heat is being distributed by the rock topography at the base of the ice.

Then again, it could be because we've heated the entire planet by using the wrong kind of light bulb. But I'm forgetting, Antarctic sea ice has been growing for two decades.

On a tip from Bill.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:16 AM | Comments (1)

Bianca Jagger Evicted

A small triumph over socialism:

Useless zillionaire moonbat Bianca Jagger has been evicted from her rent-stabilized Park Avenue playpen. Screamed her lawyer:

This is an absolute travesty!

The actual travesty is rent control, which throws a monkey wrench into the NYC housing market by forcing landlords to lease apartments below market value.

Unfortunately Jagger was evicted not because rent control is a crime against economic freedom, or even because she's too rich to justify forcing her landlord to subsidize her housing. The former wife of antediluvian adolescent Mick Jagger got the well-earned boot to the britches because she's been living there on a tourist visa for 20 years.

On a tip from BMc.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:47 AM | Comments (3)

Even Kool-Aid–Guzzlers Know Carbon Offsets Are a Scam

The liberal elite practice of buying carbon offsets to excuse lavish lifestyles, while demanding that the rest of live like Third-World peasants, is subjected to well-deserved ridicule at Cheatneutral. As PC World reports, the site allows those who cheat on their spouses to offset their betrayal by paying others not to indulge in adultery.

Despite the sarcasm, the site's founders are actually true believers who want something done about human civilization before it results in warmer weather. As one of the founders piously explains, they wanted to poke fun at carbon offset racket

Because, very briefly, it presents itself as a way that people can effectively deal with climate change while largely maintaining their levels of energy consumption. It masks the need for dramatic emissions reduction in the West, and instead seems to offer a license to pollute.

This is why Cheatneutral

tries to make it seem acceptable to cheat on your partner in the same way carbon offsetting tries to make it acceptable to carry on emitting excess carbon. Having Cheatneutral's services could actually encourage you to cheat more. If the carbon offsetters persuade you that it is possible to offset your emissions, you will carry on emitting excess carbon rather than think about reducing your emissions.

The Goracle must be rolling his eyes in impatience. The global warming hoax has nothing to do with pollution or the weather. It's about enriching profiteers like himself and imposing international socialism.

If only Bill Clinton had come up with the Cheatneutral concept, it would have been the perfect parallel to the high-living energy hog Al Gore's carbon credits racket.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:07 AM | Comments (5)

December 13, 2007

Swedish Lion Castrated by Political Correctness

The heraldic lion on the Nordic Battlegroup's coat of arms has been castrated because a group of female soldiers lodged a complaint with the European Court of Justice.

Vladimir Sagerlund, who designed the insignia, is rightfully enraged:

A heraldic lion is a powerful and stately figure with its genitalia intact and I cannot approve an edited image. The army lacks knowledge about heraldry. Once upon a time coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Crown.

The Swedish Crown isn't the only thing that has been betrayed by our willingness to castrate ourselves in the name of political correctness.

On a tip from Bill.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:24 PM | Comments (7)

Bali Bureaucrats Are Coming for Your Wallet

Anyone who doubts that the global warming hoax is an underhanded attempt to impose international socialism should keep a closer eye on the shenanigans in Bali, where insidious bureauweenies are proposing a "luxury tax" of $780 per person per year to punish us for causing the imaginary climate change crisis.

Don't worry, only the rich have to pay. By rich, they mean those of us who make more than $9,000 per year.

As the sanctimonious thugs at CAN International dyslexically proclaim:

[A]s this current ecomonic system got us here in the first place, a climate change response must have at its heart a resdistribution of wealth and resources.

Apparently America causes global warming, but not communist China. Since the phenomenon is not real, it's caused by anyone totalitarian leftists say it is.

They're not after your SUV; they're after the economic freedom that permits you to afford it.

Hat tips: Climate Skeptic, Tom Nelson; on a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:17 AM | Comments (7)

Congressional Dems Vote Yes on Ramadan, No on Christmas

Not all Democrats in Congress bother to be subtle about their hostility toward our culture, and their eagerness to pander to those who share that hostility.

A few weeks ago Congress passed a resolution recognizing the brutal terrorist cult Islam as "one of the great religions of the world" and honoring Ramadan. It passed unanimously.

Then came a resolution with similar wording, honoring Christmas, and decrying violence against Christians around the world. Nine Congresskooks were bold enough in their depravity to vote against it:

• Gary Ackerman (D-NY)
• Yvette Clarke (D-NY)
• Diana DeGette (D-CO)
• Alcee Hastings (D-FL)
• Barbara Lee (D-CA)
• Jim McDermott (D-WA)
• Robert Scott (D-VA)
• Pete Stark (D-CA)
• Lynn Woolsey (D-CA)

Ten others voted "present"; here's a surprise: one of them (Mike Pence of Indiana) isn't a Democrat.

Presumably all of these characters have more Christians in their districts than Muslims. Whoever they're representing, it isn't the misguided voters who put them in office.

On tips from V the K, Cheetah and BUUUUURRRRNING HOT. Hat tip: Michelle Malkin.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:36 AM | Comments (5)

Chris Matthews Describes Shrillary Rotten as "Pure and Good"

Chris Matthews has said many foolish things in his dubious career at ultra-left MSNBC, but this blooper has to take the prize.

Last night on his soapbox Screwball, Tweety opined that the writers strike could be good for Hillary Clinton, because at last she might get a reprieve from late night comics making fun of her. Then Matthews waxed philosophical:

Is she a natural target because she's so pure and good?

Please tell me he was joking.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:01 AM | Comments (5)

El Equipo de Latinos

The Reconquista has extended all the way to Shea Stadium under New York Mets GM Omar Minaya. Even ESPN has noticed it:

Nearly five years ago, when Jose Reyes debuted as New York's spark plug of the future, fans were excited. When, nearly three years ago, the Mets added Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez, fans were elated. When, however, Minaya added Perez and Chavez and Valentin and Ambiorix Burgos and Orlando Hernandez and Eli Marrero and Julio Franco and Ricky Ledee and Jose Lima and Sandy Alomar Jr. and Jorge Julio and Duaner Sanchez and Geremi Gonzalez and Miguel Cairo and Jorge Sosa and Ramon Castro and Luis Castillo and Jose Offerman and Carlos Delgado and Ruben Gotay and Guillermo Mota and Moises Alou and … well, the bloom is off the rose.

Wrote one blogger: "I've been a Mets fan since I saw them win in '69 and I have to say, I've never seen such blatant racism in baseball in the last 40 years."

Typically, Minaya responds to accusations of racism by accusing his accusers:

I just see that as people that are uncomfortable with the fact that there's a Hispanic in a position of authority.

Alberto Gonzales should have used that one. Maybe the moonbat media wouldn't be falsely referring to him as the "disgraced" former attorney general.

It's certainly true that a lot of baseball talent is Hispanic. But a lot of it isn't. If Minaya kept this in mind, he might build a team less susceptible to spectacular collapses like Mets fans saw last year.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:32 AM | Comments (5)

New Life Church Versus Virginia Tech

Hog on Ice describes the difference between life and death in conservative versus liberal America:

SCENARIO ONE: ASSAULT ON A CHURCH FULL OF BACKWARD CONSERVATIVES

There is a church. Lots of people are inside. They believe Jesus is the living Son of God and part of the Holy Trinity. A person who can't be reasoned with shows up to kill as many as possible. He has already killed two people at another church. He kills two girls in the parking lot, but when he gets inside, a private citizen with a carry permit shoots him over and over, and he gives up and shoots himself.

"Vigilante" death tally: 2

SCENARIO TWO: ASSAULT ON A CHURCH FULL OF PROGRESSIVE LIBERALS

There is a church. Lots of people are inside. They believe Jesus is a dead and possibly fictional homosexual who was misguided but nearly as nice as Buddha. A person who can't be reasoned with shows up to kill as many as possible. He has already killed two smug androgynous salespeople at a nearby Apple Store. He kills two girls in the parking lot. When he gets inside, the congregation notices that he's shooting people, and they get angry at George Bush for whatever he and Halliburton did to turn this boy into a killer. A few quick-thinking souls rush forward to give him hugs, but he drops them in the aisles. There are no guns on the property except his, so he shoots until he runs out of bullets or the cops show up. Oops, the cops take ten minutes, or 600 seconds. By that time, he has fired several hundred rounds at a fairly relaxed pace, and nearly everyone in the place is dead or wounded. The cops arrive to find him dead.

Progressive death tally: dozens

Which church would you rather be in when the nut shows up?

Remember your answer next time you vote.

Of course, liberals can always use their stylish irony to defend themselves from bullets.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:58 AM | Comments (3)

Confessions of a Liberal Bigot

Moonbat Lawrence O'Donnell is famous for unhinged rants against the Swift Boat Vets and more recently, Mormonism, which he denounces as "demented" and "ridiculous." But you won't hear him ranting against Muslims. He explained why in an interview with Hugh Hewitt:

O'Donnell: [The Book of Mormon is] an insane document produced by a madman who was a criminal and a rapist. […] He comes from a long line of extreme rapists of teenage children.

Hewitt: [W]ould you say the same things about Mohammed as you just said about Joseph Smith?

O'Donnell: Oh, well, I'm afraid of what the… that's where I'm really afraid. I would like to criticize Islam much more than I do publicly, but I'm afraid for my life if I do. […] Mormons are the nicest people in the world. They're not going to ever…

Hewitt: So you can be bigoted towards Mormons, because they'll just send you a strudel.

O'Donnell: They'll never take a shot at me. Those other people, I'm not going to say a word about them.

Hewitt: They'll send you a strudel. The Mormons will bake you a cake and be nice to you.

O'Donnell: I agree.

Credit where it's due: like many on the Left, O'Donnell is an obnoxious bigot, a sniveling coward, a dhimmi, a bully and a fool, but unlike most of his liberal elite brethren, he can be honest on occasion. He's even admitted that Hollyweird's Writers Guild of America is "99% leftist liberal."

On tips from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT, V the K and Cheetah. Hat tip: NewsBusters.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:33 AM | Comments (8)

December 12, 2007

Mika Brzezinski: Impervious to Rogue Information

Most higher animals are capable of learning from experience. The exception is moonbats, who are so convinced they already know everything that they are impervious to information that doesn't fit their preconceived notions.

A case in point is MSNBC moonbat Mike Brzezinski. On Sunday, a sick maniac named Matthew Murray devoted the last dregs of his pitiful existence to killing Christians. He would have continued to kill until he ran out of ammo, except that Jeanne Assam, a security guard at the New Life Church, had a gun too. She shot him, saving many innocent lives.

What lesson does Ms. Brzezinski draw from this harrowing tale? None whatsoever.

Via NewsBusters, here she is discussing the incident with MSNBC's token sane person, Joe Scarborough:

SCARBOROUGH: One person with a gun can make a big difference.

BRZEZINSKI: Oh gosh, no! No, no, no. […] No, no, no, no, no. […] You know, that is the most inane statement I have ever heard.

You can imagine sparks shooting from her eyes and smoke leaking from her otherwise empty skull as she barks, "Does not compute! Does not compute!" Every good liberal knows that only the State will have guns when we achieve socialist utopia.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:06 PM | Comments (11)

Pope Denounces Global Warming Hoax

Kudos to Pope Benedict XVI for taking a stand against the tsunami of global warming moonbattery that threatens to wash away our civilization:

Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology.

The leader of more than a billion Roman Catholics suggested that fears over man-made emissions melting the ice caps and causing a wave of unprecedented disasters were nothing more than scare-mongering.

The Church may be realizing that the global warming movement is not just a massive bureaucratic power grab and a chance for shady characters like Al Gore to get rich. By promoting it at every opportunity while systematically suppressing Christianity, the liberal elite is trying to establish the depraved antihuman ideology of radical environmentalism as a replacement for religion.

On a tip from Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:27 PM | Comments (20)

NBC Schadenfreude

NBC's recent plunge into the deep end of moonbattery unsurprisingly correlates with a plunge in ratings:

Fourth-ranked broadcaster NBC has quietly begun reimbursing advertisers an average of $500,000 each for failing to reach guaranteed ratings levels, the first time a network has taken such a step in years, media buyers said.

Ratings are down at the higher-ranked (and less vociferously moonbatty) networks too, and it will get worse once the writers strike starts to show an effect. But nutty NBC has the worst troubles, "as its primetime ratings are down most dramatically."

A couple of suggestions for floundering NBC execs: don't devote an entire week to ramming the global warming hoax down viewers' throats, and don't spew leftist propaganda even during sports broadcasts.

On a tip from Pam.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:39 PM | Comments (3)

Matthew Murray Was a Moonbat Troll

Does this sound like anybody you know?

I'm going out to make a stand for the weak and the defenseless this is for all those young people still caught in the Nightmare of Christianity for all those people who've been abused and mistreated and taken advantage of by this evil sick religion Christian America this is YOUR Columbine.

If you guessed Rosie O'Donnell, guess again — it appears the ravings above were posted on a forum by Matthew Murray, the evil maniac who went on a Christian-killing spree in Colorado Sunday, before being gunned down by a fortunately armed security guard.

The anti-Christian rhetoric emanating from the Left lately has gone from disturbing to alarming. Even relatively mainstream figures like Sam Donaldson rant like paranoid bigots about the horrors of an incipient "Christian theocracy." When sick people are fed a diet of sick ideas, the results aren't going to be healthy.

On tips from V the K and Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:04 PM | Comments (1)

Turk Suing Over Crosses on Soccer Uniforms

Unfortunately not all Religion of Peaceniks are as open-minded as those who don't mind if we acknowledge Christmas. A Turkish lawyer is suing to have the results of a soccer match overturned, because the winning team wore uniforms featuring the symbol of their city — a cross.

The Milan team Inter wore the "offensive" uniforms only at home, not in Turkey. But that's not good enough for the Turkish press, which has whipped itself into a lather over the failure of authorities to suppress Christian symbols in Italy on behalf of Muslim sensibilities.

Hat tip: Jihad Watch, on tips from Bill and Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:23 AM | Comments (6)

Even Some Muslims Don't Want Christmas Suppressed

Despite the totalitarian proclivities they have proved themselves so eager to kill for in every corner of the world, even Muslims can be less intolerant than moonbats when it comes to Christmas.

Says Shayk Ibrahim Mogra of the Muslim Council of Britain:

To suggest celebrating Christmas and having decorations offends Muslims is absurd. Why can't we have more nativity scenes in Britain?

It might even be permissible to say "Merry Christmas" instead of the vacuous euphemism "Happy Holidays."

On a tip from El Presidente.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:06 AM | Comments (3)

Time Magazine's Top Ten Cartoons

Slime Magazine has announced its top 10 editorial cartoons of the year. Surprisingly, only five of them bash conservatives. Less surprisingly, none of them lampoons liberals, or is particularly funny.

Per Time, the funniest of the year was this one from the New York Observer:

I think that's supposed to be Vice President Cheney.

Slime's own global warming coverage is actually much funnier, as seen here, here and here.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:14 AM | Comments (7)

Clintonista Antics Would Get a Chilly Reception in South America

Good thing Bill Clinton doesn't live in Chile. From Roto-Reuters:

Former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced to 6 years in prison on Tuesday for sending an aide to steal documents from his spy chief, a ruling that could harm his defense in a separate murder trial.

Supreme Court judge Pedro Urbina found Fujimori guilty of ordering the aide to break into a house where intelligence chief Vladimiro Montesinos had hidden 40 boxes of videos and tapes that documented corruption in Fujimori's government.

Closer to home, Clinton's former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger compromised national security by stealing and destroying classified documents, presumably on behalf of Der Slickmeister. Berger was given the lightest of wrist slaps, and will be eligible to get his old job back if Shrillary is elected; he has already been serving her as an adviser. Slick Willie himself characteristically got off without so much as a scolding.

On a tip from Bob.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:55 AM

Savages Who Gang-Raped Child Set Free

In Australia, nine Aborigines raped a 10-year-old girl. Apparently they were only celebrating their multicultural heritage, because judge Sarah Bradley let them off with probation on the grounds that the little girl "probably agreed" to be gang-raped.

Six of the rapists were teenage juveniles; the little indiscretion won't go on their permanent record. One of the adult convicts already had the rape of a 10-year-old on his resume.

Queensland Attorney General Kerry Shine observes that "a child under 12 cannot give consent to sexual intercourse." But no doubt we should be flexible with such stern laws, and take cultural differences into account. Who are we to say it's wrong to gang-rape little kids?

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:23 AM | Comments (3)

Global Warming Totalitarians Push Personal "Carbon Limit"

The totalitarian moonbattery known as environmentalism is really getting scary in the UK, where under cover of the global warming hoax, authoritarian bureauweenies now want to impose a "carbon limit" on each individual.

Subjects of the British bureaucracy would be required to carry a "carbon credit card," to be used when paying utility bills or buying gasoline. Joseph Stalin, who killed millions by withholding food from his own populace, would be delighted to hear that you'll need a valid carbon card to buy food.

When you've used up your carbon limit, you're out of luck. Escaping to a free country won't be easy, because the carbon card will also be required for travel. Think of it as envirokooks' version of the Mark of the Beast.

It's looking more and more like Britain would have held onto more of its liberty if it had allowed itself to be defeated from without by the Nazis, rather than from within by moonbats.

On a tip from xantl.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:04 AM | Comments (6)

More Exotic Multiculturalism From the Religion of Peace

Aqsa Parvez, 16, has apparently been murdered by her own father for not hiding under a hijab at her Toronto area school. From The Star:

Friends at the victim's school said she feared her father and had argued over her desire to shun the hijab, a traditional shoulder-length head scarf worn by females in devout Muslim families. […] School chums say Aqsa had been arguing with her family for months over whether she should wear the hijab. […] "She said she was always scared of her dad, she was always scared of her brother … and she's not scared of nobody," said classmate Ashley Garbutt, 16.

The father, Muhammad Parvez, allegedly confessed. Her brother Waqas has been arrested for obstructing the police.

Women unfortunate enough to be born into Muslim families are often killed by their male relatives if they show any sign of participating in Western Civilization. This helps explain why Muslims don't tend to assimilate, which is what makes many of them colonizers, rather than immigrants.

Meanwhile, a recent poll finds that the same percentage of Americans have a favorable opinion of Muslims as they do of Mormons (53%). Only in a climate saturated with moonbattery could decent folks like Glenn Beck and Mitt Romney draw even with Osama bin Laden and Muhammad Parvez.

On tips from David, Varla and Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:47 AM | Comments (2)

Progressive Ideology Blossoms in Oakland

Mayor Jerry Brown's progressive leadership has graced Oakland with a special holiday tradition: candlelight vigils for those murdered over the past year in this anarchic hellhole, ranked the fifth most liberal city in America.

Over the last five years, 557 people have been killed on Oakland's streets. Even the San Franpsycho Comical seems appalled at what the decay of conservative values has wrought:

There are entire blocks without a single two-parent family, where drug dealers have become the predominant male role models, and children fend for themselves in crowded, chaotic homes where they are routinely exposed to drugs, sex and guns. […]

Increasingly, the young murder suspects coming to the station for questioning seem to lack basic morality, said Sgt. Tim Nolan, who has been investigating Oakland homicides for 17 years.

"There are more and more families where there's less and less structure," he said. "Talking to these suspects day in and out, there's a higher percentage today with no sense of right and wrong. It's frightening, but we are creating super-criminals."

There are reasons for the "family values" moonbats enjoy deriding. Oakland is the template for a world without them.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:07 AM | Comments (4)

In Absence of Hurricanes, Another Storm Gets Promoted

They're at it again. Faced with two extremely mild hurricane seasons in a row, the weather bureaucracy is naming relatively mild storms in a desperate effort to convince us that the Goracle's apocalyptic prophesies are coming true.

The latest is subtropical storm Olga, which caused rain and even wind on Hispaniola. But wait, Olga has been upgraded to a tropical storm.

Tropical and subtropical storms have in common that neither are worth naming. The main difference between them is that tropical storms have warm core systems, tying them however loosely to the official dogma that warm weather is bad.

Weather people may be the only ones besides the Goracle and the insidious bureauweenies at the UN to actually benefit from the global warming hoax, as it elevates their profession to a priesthood and results in generous government grants for meteorological studies. Let's hope they have plenty of multicultural names in reserve if the next hurricane season is yet another dud, and they resort to naming each raindrop and gust of wind.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:09 AM | Comments (3)

NBC's Brian Williams Triggers the Gag Reflex

The wildly metastasizing moonbattery at NBC will trigger the gag reflex in any healthy person. See if you can swallow anchor Brian Williams's nomination for Person of the Year:

My nominee for 2007 Person of the Year is a woman — a woman with a history of abuse, a woman who has never run for elective office, someone we all know, someone who makes her presence known on a daily basis in all our lives and, for my money, is better than any male alternative. That woman is Mother Earth. I think the environment is the compelling issue of our time.

Next he will follow in the footsteps of his fellow NBC wackos on Sunday Night Football, and perform his nightly news act by candlelight and the glow of a Toyota ad.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:36 AM | Comments (6)

December 11, 2007

Moonbat Doctor: Parents Should Be Fined and Taxed

In case the antihuman agenda of the global warming cult wasn't obvious enough, Associate Professor Barry Walters, who teaches obstetric medicine at the University of Western Australia, writes in Medical Journal of Australia that humans should be discouraged from reproducing with a fine of over $5,000 for having a baby. Added to this would be a $800 per child per year "carbon tax."

Walters hates babies because:

Every newborn baby in Australia represents a potent source of greenhouse gas emissions for an average of 80 years, not simply by breathing but by the profligate consumption of resources typical of our society.

Whether this would achieve the progressive goal of ending the human race is doubtful, but it would at least discourage large families among those not rich enough to afford frivolities like environmental extremism.

Wouldn't it be horrifying to learn that antihuman jihadists like Walters are perfectly aware that global warming is a hoax? It's not exactly a secret.

On tips from Mega and Dave.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:59 PM | Comments (23)

Polar Bears Survived Interglacial Period

Great news for polar bears, the monstrous beasts that have earned the undying affection of environmentalists by being one of the extremely few species that will hunt down humans and kill us for food: a jaw bone found on the Svalbard archipelago suggests that polar bears have been around for at least 110,000–130,000 years.

That means that the species has survived an interglacial period, of the type global warming hucksters pretend we're heading toward now. Even if the Goracle's most frenetic fantasies were to come true, and the North Pole were to melt in the foreseeable future, people living in northern latitudes will still get eaten by polar bears.

On a tip from Harry.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:59 AM | Comments (11)

December 10, 2007

Cynthia McKinney for President

Each election gets tougher for the Green Party, which must somehow out-moonbat the ever-moonbattier Democrat Party. This year they've found the ideal candidate: former Democrat Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney.

Among her accomplishments, McKinney:

• assaulted a Capitol Police officer out of sheer orneriness, then turned the episode into a racial incident;
• helped create the seat she holds through race-based gerrymandering;
• is a member of the extremely radical Progressive Caucus;
• has a voting record that is applauded by the AFL-CIO, NARAL, and the NEA, a teacher's union that bears heavy responsibility for the current sorry state of affairs in education;
• has voted to legalize killing babies even after they are born;
• has voted against safeguards to prevent fraudulent voting;
• has refused to vote to condemn the rabidly racist lunatics at Nation of Islam;
• has taken every possible opportunity to express her hostility toward Israel;
• has taken massive political campaign contributions from radical Muslims;
• begged for the $10 million Rudy Giuliani turned down after 9/11 from Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal — money that came attached to the message that we deserved what we got for supporting Israel;
• publicly said, "We know there were numerous warnings of the events to come on September 11. What did this administration know and when did it know it, about the events of September 11th? Who else knew, and why did they not warn the innocent people of New York who were needlessly murdered?….What do they have to hide?";
• supported brutal Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe's policy of confiscating land from Caucasians; and
• counts the Association of Trial Lawyers of America as one of her biggest campaign contributors.

Even with McKinney, the Greens could be in trouble if by some bizarre sequence of events John Edwards becomes the Dems' nominee. Not even Cynthia could out-moonbat the Breck Girl.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:14 PM | Comments (16)

Another Madman Gets Away With Murder

The aptly named "insanity defense" has produced yet another outrage against justice in Maine, where 25-year-old Derek Finn-Wilhelmsen, who murdered cabdriver Nunzi Mancini but was found not guilty by reason of our legal system's insanity in 2002, will already be permitted to leave the state hospital without supervision.

Finn-Wilhelmsen shot Nunzi Mancini seven times. But it's okay, because he's crazy.

He also intended to kill his girlfriend and her baby. You can be sure he won't try to kill her again though, because he is barred from going near her.

Maybe we should just bar everyone in mental hospitals from committing any crimes. Then we could set them all loose.

On a tip from David.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:24 PM | Comments (6)

Why the MSM Kid Gloves for Mike Huckabee?

Even MSNBC moonbat Chris Matthews is wondering, "Why is the liberal media giving Huckabee a free ride?" The MSM's benevolent coverage has fueled a surge that might put him over the top in Iowa. It's true Huckleberry is a tax-and-spend, pro-Reconquista, soft-on-crime RINO, but he used to be a Baptist minister; shouldn't the libs running the media hate his guts?

The important thing, as Douglas MacKinnon observes, is that the Huckster can be beat by the Dems. In the unlikely event he gets the nomination, look for his media coverage to darken dramatically.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:31 PM | Comments (13)

Self-Esteem Triumphs Over Accomplishment

You have to hand it to moonbat educrats: their strategy of making actual learning secondary to stroking students' self-esteem is working. A recent international test reveals that American 15-year-olds are falling behind other industrialized countries in math and science. But so what? According to self-ratings, they think they know as much as anybody, and therefore can take pride in their inherent worthiness without becoming degraded by competitive endeavor.

La Times is worried:

Test analysts found that the less students knew about science, the more optimistic they were that the challenges of global warming can be overcome.

Don't fret, moonbats: an imaginary problem can only be overcome by draconian measures of imaginary effectiveness, which require no knowledge of science, and only a smattering of the hysterical global warming propaganda that is passed off as science in our schools. Just ask the noted scientists Al Gore and Laurie David.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:05 PM | Comments (4)

Time Magazine Blames Global Warming for Warm Wet Weather in Cambodia

Secure in the knowledge that no assertion is too absurd for global warming true believers to swallow, Time Magazine is actually blaming the nonexistent climate change crisis for warm wet weather in Cambodia — a country that consists entirely of tropical jungle. Thanks to your SUV, Cambodians are suffering from dengue fever, caused by mosquitos that flourish in the sort of weather they've been having for centuries in Cambodia.

We're also asked to believe that the disease is spreading, as the global warming that supposedly causes droughts also causes jungle weather to extend its range.

As always, a UN bureauweenie makes it all real with an official pronouncement, which serves in lieu of proof that the story has any validity whatsoever. Proclaims Dr. Jai Narain of the UN's WHO:

A lot of people say climate change will impact [dengue fever] somewhere down the line. But it already is.

The meme that global warming causes mosquitos, which in turn cause disease, has been exploited by the Goracle himself. It has also been thoroughly debunked:

Gore pointed out the potential for increases in infectious diseases due to expansion of areas suitable for insect vectors. To illustrate this he listed fifteen new or recently resurgent diseases: Ebola, Arena virus, Hanta virus, SARS, multi-drug resistant Tuberculosis (MDR TB), E. coli 0157:H7, Lyme disease, legionnaire's disease, Vibrio Cholerae 0139, Nipah virus, malaria, dengue fever, leptospirosis, West Nile virus, and Avian flu.

This litany of killers is impressive until you realize that out of the fifteen, only Lyme, malaria, dengue and West Nile virus are spread by insect vectors. A closer look at those four even further confounds the point. Lyme disease — far from being a tropical disease spreading northwards — originated in the temperate climate of Lyme, CT and spread South and West. Malaria is a disease confined to the tropics more for socioeconomic reasons than climatologic ones, and it was once prevalent in Siberia and Northern Europe. Its decline in these areas happened largely during warming periods of history. There has been a recent resurgence of malaria in some Eastern European countries that the WHO attributes to socioeconomic instability. Paul Reiter from the Pasteur Institute in Paris published a letter in Emerging Infectious Diseases, refuting the section of the IPCC (International Panel on Climate Change) report on infectious diseases. (Reiter was actually drafted to be one of the authors of the IPCC report, but withdrew and actually threatened to sue the organization to have his name removed from the author list because he was so disgusted with the inaccuracy of the final product.) He focused on the misrepresentation of malaria and the lack of any evidence for climate-associated spread of dengue fever. Of these diseases, the one most commonly attributed to Global warming is West Nile Virus (WNV). Once again, the science doesn't hold up. The disease vector, Culex pipiens (also responsible for transmitting St. Louis encephalitis), is the most widely distributed mosquito in the world, common on every continent but Antarctica. Prevalent in temperate, not tropical, zones, it is readily found as far north as Nova Scotia. WNV's arrival in the US had nothing to do with changes in vector habitat conditions. (Emerg Infect Dis 6(4), 2000; and also Environmental Health Perspectives/Supplements Volume 109, Number S1, March 2001)

Mosquitos don't need warm weather; ask anyone who lives in Alaska. They could easily and safely be controlled with DDT, saving hundreds of thousands of lives, except that liberals won't allow it. Ironically, mosquito-born diseases like dengue fever and malaria are exacerbated not by warm weather, but by poverty — a condition the global warming cult would inflict on us all.

On a tip from BUUUUURRRRNING HOT.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:18 AM | Comments (10)

A Moonbat Christmas in Connecticut

From WND:

Connecticut atheists, taking advantage of a town's policy of allowing holiday-season displays in its public park, have erected a 10-foot tall sign in celebration of the winter solstice that includes a message blaming the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, on religious believers.

The 3-sided sign was erected in the Town of Vernon's Central Park on Dec. 1 by the Connecticut Valley Atheists. The two sides facing Main Street feature a pre-attack image of the Twin Towers with the sun shining between them and the message, "Imagine no religion," drawn from the John Lennon anthem, "Imagine."

These days it just isn't Christmas until obnoxious moonbats spit on it.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:35 AM | Comments (33)

December 9, 2007

Andrew Young Backs Shrillary

Former UN Ambassador and Atlanta Mayor Andrew Young is pulling for Shrillary Rotten versus Barack Hussein Obambi, because Shrillary has her husband behind her, and as Young explains:

Bill is every bit as black as Barack. He's probably gone with more black women than Barack. … I'm clowning.

Clowning aside, being married to an impeached felonious degenerate is Shrillary's job qualification.

Young is known for his political wisdom and his keen fashion sense.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:11 PM | Comments (6)

Maniacs Target Christians

The venomous rhetoric habitually directed at Christians by moonbats puts today's Colorado shootings in an ominous light.

A gunman killed two staff members at the Youth with a Mission missionary training center in Arvada early this morning. Twelve hours later and 80 miles south, another gunman killed someone at the New Life Church megachurch in Colorado Springs before being taken out by an armed security guard.

Several other people were wounded. Reportedly both gunmen were dressed in black.

Colorado-based Slapstick Politics is following the story. Here's the first comment they received on it:

So the shooter killed only two and wounded two others. Too bad he didn't have more time to get some more. Religious missionaries are very legitimate targets since they stick their noses into other people's private religious affairs. America needs more shootings like this in the future to put the religious fanatics and loonies in their place.

The killers' motives aren't known, and may never be. Hopefully no one is following Charles Manson's short path from moonbattery to murder.

The media will of course use this as further evidence that we should be disarmed, rendering us even more vulnerable to homicidal maniacs. But the problem is much older than guns. Evil has been with us from the beginning.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:38 PM | Comments (17)

Valerie Plame Flounders for Attention

Panicked that her 15 minutes are up, "covert" CIA media whore Valerie Plame has been reduced to shouting ever more preposterous lies in an attempt to garner attention. Her latest: the ultra-Left Media Matters for America, founded by Clintonistas to kneecap their masters' opponents, "seeks to sort of accuracy." Apparently she was trying to say that the overblown rhetoric spun by Shrillary's info-warriors is not propaganda.

Unfortunately this is unlikely to earn Ms. Plame another photo spread in Vogue. Look for her to announce in the near future that W is on the take from al-Qaeda, or that Bill Clinton is a virgin.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:59 PM | Comments (6)

Enviromoonbattery to Disfigure Entire British Coastline

To meet bureaucratic mandates for non–efficiently produced energy, British taxpayers will be financing thousands of wind turbines that will clog up the coast, rising as high as 850 feet into the sky.

Since windless days would leave Britain with power shortages, fossil-fuel power stations will be kept in reserve. Apparently building efficient nuclear plants is out of the question.

The wind farms will be visible from almost every point on Britain's coast. Good thing the Kennedys don't have any seaside mansions over there.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:27 PM | Comments (9)

War on Christmas Continues at K-Mart

It has been decreed that Sears subsidiary K-Mart must refer to Christmas trees as "holiday trees" or just as "trees" in its advertising, lest it be accused of failing to pander to intolerant moonbats. When asked for clarification, a representative of Sears Holding Corporation gibbered:

The reason for our use of holiday tree is due to the [sic] Sears Holding is a very diverse company, we do not want to offend any of our associates, but also our valued customers. We decided to call them holiday trees because even if Christians are the only religion that uses a Christmas tree we still do not want complaints from other customers of different religions complaining about our use of Christmas.

Mathew D. Staver, Founder of Liberty Counsel and Dean of Liberty University School of Law, responds:

It borders on the absurd to remove the word "Christmas" from a "Christmas tree." Sears and K-Mart have offended their customer base by thinking they can profit from Christmas while pretending it does not exist. The best thing for consumers to do this Christmas season is to act as if Sears and K-Mart do not exist and instead patronize their competitors.

Moonbats' hostility toward Christmas is understandable; they hate everything that characterizes our culture, and particularly everything that reminds them of the Christianity around which it evolved. Corporations bending to their will can only be explained as pathological cowardice.

On a tip from Bob.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:09 PM | Comments (14)

Pro-Lifer Threatened with Arrest After Being Assaulted

Let's hope this isn't an example of what we could expect under a Shrillary Clinton Administration:

Last Friday, pro-life activist Dan Holman was standing on a public sidewalk at a Shrillary campaign stop in Fort Madison, Iowa when he was set upon by a maniac wielding a club.

Responding police officers threatened to arrest Holman and his fellow pro-life demonstrators if they didn't skedaddle.

Shrillary is a fanatical proponent of abortion.

Holman grating on the nerves of Shrillary supporters.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:04 PM | Comments (3)

Goracle Gives Fellow Moonbats the Shaft

Even global warming true believers may be starting to notice that Al Gore is a scam artist. Recently wealthy dupes including Bob Geldof and Darryl Hannah paid between £1,000 and £50,000 to see the Goracle put on his dog and pony show in London. A source reported to the Daily Mail:

Many guests looked tired and began to talk among themselves during his speech. Heads began to twitch with tiredness.

Al uses his position for great personal gain. He goes from event to event delivering a similar speech, earning a large fee, and a lot of the time he doesn't actually inform the audience.

He refused to speak to journalists and security would usher away VIP guests and the Press.

He was being very precious and demanded his own VIP room before the event, where he held his own exclusive reception.

The other guests were cut off. It was very clear that many guests were disappointed by this.

Hey, what do they expect when the Goracle is only getting paid £3,300 per minute?

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:49 AM | Comments (4)

December 8, 2007

Mistake-Free Helen Thomas Regards Bloggers as Dangerous

A proposed Huffington Post series entitled "My Favorite Mistake" got off to a slow start by beginning with the obnoxious left-wing Gorgon Helen Thomas, who declared:

I don't have any mistakes to tell you about.

This indicates that due to her remarkable consistency, Thomas has made only a single mistake: her entire existence.

Having quickly exhausted the topic of Thomas's errors, HuffPo's Seamy Kalia moved on to the new media. Unsurprisingly, the archetypical MSM dinosaur Thomas doesn't like it:

I do think it is kind of sad when everybody who owns a laptop thinks they're a journalist and doesn't understand the ethics. We do have to have some sense of what's right and wrong in this job. Of how far we can go. We don't make accusations without absolute proof. We're not prosecutors.

This from the screeching, malevolent hag who promised to commit suicide if Vice President Cheney ever runs for President. Here's an example of Thomas's vaunted journalism, which consists mainly of badgering the President and his representatives from her unwarranted front-row seat at press conferences:

I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil — quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

Following this juvenile outburst, W put her in her place nicely.

Obviously Helen Thomas and her kind are not out there to report factual information, but to impose an ideology. Here's how her ideology addresses the problem, recently compounded by the phony NIE report, of Iran acquiring nuclear weapons:

Instead of autocratically cherry-picking which nations can join the nuclear club, why doesn't the United States propose global disarmament for a safer world?

Brilliant; terrorist regimes are sure to comply.

Now we hear that Thomas regards bloggers as "dangerous." Let's hope so — to the fatuous media establishment she personifies.

On tips from Cheetah and Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:39 PM | Comments (10)

CNN Reveals: Abstinence Causes Pregnancy

As 1984's Winston Smith discovered when he was required to believe that 2+2=5, living under socialists means thinking what it's politically correct to think, no matter how absurd. Here's how CNN's Mary Snow explains a reported rise in last year's teen birth rate:

[N]o one is saying for certain whether the rise in teen pregnancy is in fact a trend, but it is bringing attention to abstinence-only programs[…] Democratic presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Clinton touted family planning programs during her husband's administration for a steady decrease in the teen birth rate, adding, "Under President Bush's leadership, we may be falling off track."

By mixing pregnancy and birth rate as if they meant the say thing, the Clinton News Network seems to be saying that discouraging teenagers from having sex causes them to get pregnant.

But since the reported rise is in the birth rate, not the pregnancy rate, what CNN is actually decrying is that young mothers are taking mercy on their babies rather than killing them.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:31 AM | Comments (1)

Johnny Depp Praises Serial Killer

The same Tinseltown glitterpig who denounces America as "a dumb puppy" and "a broken toy" has a favorable opinion of a fictional serial killer.

Eyeliner-wearing pirate Johnny Depp has this to say (from France) about the country that made him outrageously rich for posing narcissistically in front of cameras:

America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out.

Depp will be playing Sweeney Todd, a British barber who would slash his customers' throats and drop them through a hole in the floor. His opinion of Todd:

I love the character. […] I believe he's a victim. I believe he's a tragic figure.

Like most Hollyweenies, Depp can be counted on to denounce good and excuse evil.

Hollyweird's morally depraved narcissism personified. Check out the Che Guevara necklace.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:59 AM | Comments (30)

December 7, 2007

MSNBC's David Shuster Reveals Himself to Be an Infantile Bigot

Just how juvenile are the jackasses dominating MSNBC? Here's David Shuster on evangelical Christians, via NewsBusters:

We'll go to a revival and then go to Guantanamo Bay and torture some people just for fun.

Crude bigotry, childishly expressed. We'll see how far NBC gets with this formula.

Shuster again pushes his obnoxious moonbattery over the edge.

On tips from V the K and Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:21 PM | Comments (8)

Americans Turn to YouTube for War Movies

Audiences have been staying away from Tinseltown war movies like Lions for Lambs and the unconscionable Redacted in droves, for the same reason movies directed by Joseph Goebbels wouldn't have been received very warmly during World War II.

But this doesn't mean Americans have no interest in the heroics of our troops fighting terrorists in Iraq. OpinionJournal reports that war footage minus the mainstream media's defeatist spin is drawing viewers to YouTube by the millions.

Here are a couple of good ones:

Apparently Hollyweenies are too drunk on moonbattery to realize that movies on Iraq acknowledging Americans as the good guys could make them some money — leaving a wide-open opportunity for the alternatives to Hollywood we urgently need to develop.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:58 AM | Comments (2)

Radio Moonbat Bernie Ward Busted for Kiddie Porn

Left-wing San Franfreakshow talk show host Bernie Ward has been indicted on federal child pornography charges. The guy has four children. Let's hope this is all some horrible mistake — for their sake. If it's not, maybe he can get a cell next to former ACLU bigwig Charles Rust-Tierney, another family man busted on the same charge.

The corruption and denigration of innocence really seem to light up moonbats. No wonder Hollyweird is making movies out of the young adult books of Philip Pullman, who explicitly aims to turn children against God.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: according to his lawyer, Ward was just "doing research for a book he was doing on hypocrisy in America."

On tips from V the K and Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:28 AM | Comments (13)

Walter Cronkite Still Wants Us to Lose

Walter Cronkite, formerly billed as the "Most Trusted Man in America," has been praised by his fellow moonbats for the major role he played in causing America to lose the Vietnam War. Now, despite the Surge having turned the tide in our favor, he's still trying to accomplish the same in Iraq.

Here he is in a Japanese newspaper, just in time for Pearl Harbor Day, puling the "Iraq = Vietnam" meme like a broken record:

The war is being carried on by a stubborn president who, like Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon during the Vietnam War, does not want to lose. But from the beginning this has been an ill-considered and poorly prosecuted war that, like the Vietnam War, has diminished respect for America.

Actually, what diminished respect for America was our ignominious defeat — which was caused not by North Vietnamese communists but by fifth-column moonbats in the media and Democrat Party. The Middle East will go up like a powder keg if we are foolish enough to let it happen again.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:36 AM | Comments (11)

Firefighter Knifed for Being a Gringo

There's a price to be paid for allowing our country to be colonized by the invaders pouring across our unguarded border — and a 32-year-old Boston firefighter has paid it.

His name has not been released. He was kicked, punched and knifed by a group of Hispanics in East Boston who told him they "don't want any gringo here."

Although the potentially lethal attack was clearly racially motivated, police are not classifying it as a hate crime, because the victim is white.

As America is gradually obliterated by wave after wave of Third World hordes, incidents like this will occur ever more frequently. But don't expect to see them on the front page of the paper.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:58 AM | Comments (6)

December 6, 2007

Australian Taxpayers Confront the Bovine Flatulence Menace

One of the many ludicrous aspects of the global warming hoax is the fact that farting farm animals produce more greenhouse gas than all forms of human transportation combined. Why did climate change suddenly become a problem in the 1990s? Haven't animals been farting for a while now?

Never mind that — the important thing is to stop cows from farting before the polar bears drown. To achieve this urgent objective, scientists want to apply bacteria found in the stomach lining of kangaroos to cattle. Others just want to eat the kangaroos.

Australia has already spent over A$1bn on this sort of research, and with a kooky Labour government now in control, the spending rate won't be slowing down. It might be cheaper to forget both the cattle and the kangaroos and just eat caviar.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:58 PM | Comments (6)

NY Times' Bill Keller Concedes We're Winning in Iraq

The New York Times' leftist Executive Editor Bill Keller, who for reasons beyond my comprehension escaped the firing squad despite his openly treasonous efforts to benefit our terrorist enemies, delivered some wonderful news when he gave the Hugo Young Memorial Lecture in London last week. Amid the usual incoherent ravings regarding the iniquity of our President, he confessed:

We have a war going very badly in Iraq.

In other words, the New York Times' allies, on whose behalf the paper has propagandized so relentlessly for years, are getting their butts kicked by our troops, courtesy of the Surge.

Cheer up, Keller — maybe you can turn the tide by publicizing more top-secret details of our anti-terror operations.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:30 PM | Comments (7)

Bureauweenies Approve Admittedly "Silly" Fat Trapper Giveaway

Remember the absurd proposal to pass out 15,000 foil "fat trapper bags," at a cost of $63,000, so as to prevent Houston's 2.1 million residents from pouring grease down their drains? The City Council has actually approved it.

Here's how Council Member Melissa Noriega explains her Yes vote:

We should not just dismiss it because it's silly.

On the contrary, if we could just dismiss silly moonbattery, bureauweenies wouldn't need to steal so much of our money.

Council Member Melissa Noriega should be dismissed because she's silly.

Hat tip: blogHOUSTON.net, on a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:31 PM | Comments (4)

Child Killer Gets Off with Insanity Defense

Just because you're not a famous black guy like O.J. doesn't mean you can't get away with murder.

Todd Curry of Maine deliberately shot and killed Anthony Tucker, the 13-year-old son of his live-in girlfriend. But legally it's no biggie, since he only did it because he heard aliens tell him to.

Curry also attacked his girlfriend with a fireplace poker, and hit her with the butt of an AK-47. But that's okay too, because he has bipolar disorder.

Given that any extreme of evil behavior can be excused with the diagnosis of a disease, we can expect the disease industry to keep inventing new ones until every possible sociopathic transgression has been covered. Then we'll be able to close down all the prisons and declare the entire country to be an open-air psychiatric facility, financed through national healthcare.

Remember John Hinckley? He shot Ronald Reagan, but they've let him run loose because he couldn't help it; he was sick.

On a tip from David.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:13 PM | Comments (3)

Cult of the Tree-Dwelling Moonbats Celebrates Anniversary

This is awful: the first anniversary of the moonbat infestation of the trees near Memorial Stadium at UC Berkeley came and went on December 2, and I forgot to celebrate the occasion. To make amends, here are some photos of anniversary festivities outside the fence that has been erected around the infested zone, via Zombie:

On a tip from Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:43 PM | Comments (1)

BBC Funds Islamic Terrorist Training

When they are forced to fund the unholy BBC, British taxpayers are paying for more than sophomoric leftist propaganda. The Beeb doesn't just spin for its Muslim terrorist allies; it even offers them training.

From The Times:

The BBC funded a paintballing trip for men later accused of Islamic terrorism and failed to pass on information about the 21/7 bombers to police, a court was told yesterday.

Mohammed Hamid, who is charged with overseeing a two-year radicalisation programme to prepare London-based Muslim youths for jihad, was described as a "cockney comic" by a BBC producer.

This BBC producer, Phil Rees, now works for al-Jazeera.

The BBC paid for Mr Hamid and fellow defendants Muhammad al-Figari and Mousa Brown to go on a paintballing trip at the Delta Force centre in Tonbridge, Kent, in February 2005. The men, accused of terrorism training, were filmed for a BBC programme called Don't Panic, I'm Islamic, screened in June 2005.

The BBC paid Mr Hamid, an Islamic preacher who denies recruiting and grooming the men behind the failed July 2005 attack, a £300 fee to take part in the programme, Woolwich Crown Court was told.

Two of the 21/7 bombers, Ramzi Mohammed and Hussein Osman, joined Hamid at the Tonbridge paintball center. As made clear by the Daily Mail, Hamid's paintball escapades were not fun and games, but explicitly intended as terrorist training. Muslim terrorist cells in the USA have also used paintball for this purpose.

Nasreen Suleaman, a researcher on the programme, told the court that Mr Hamid, 50, contacted her after the July 2005 attack and told her of his association with the bombers. But she said that she felt no obligation to contact the police with this information. Ms Suleaman said that she informed senior BBC managers but was not told to contact the police.

Prosecutor Duncan Penny wanted to know if Suleaman had at least told Hamid to go to the police:

Here was a man who told you that he knew those individuals who, as I understand it, were still at large for what on the face of it was the attempted bombings of the transport network a fortnight after it happened, and he was telling you he had some knowledge of them? There was a worldwide manhunt going on, wasn't there?

Suleaman responded by declaring "I don't think it's my obligation." Evidently her BBC bosses concur. But you could hardly expect the Beeb to side with civilization against Muslim terrorists.

If this kind of insanity had occurred during WWII, the fifth-column scum infesting the BBC would have been declared enemy collaborators and lined up in front of a machine gun — which is why we won WWII.

Hat tip: The Jawa Report, on a tip from Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:04 AM | Comments (13)

Baba Wawa Joins Hugo Chavez Fan Club

To the list of contemptible entertainment industry morons who adulate Venezuela's Joseph Stalin wannabe Hugo Chavez, we can now add the execrable Barbra Walters. Here's Baba Wawa on the moonbat soapbox The View, sniffling because Chavez finally suffered a setback in his campaign to reduce Venezuela to a communist police state (via NewsBusters):

Hugo Chavez, I was amazed that he, that he didn't get to be president for life. […] He's a charismatic character[…]

Chavez made her list of the 10 Most Fascinating People. Despite attracting more media attention, Britney Spears did not, because "we try to have people that do positive things."

You know, like denounce the USA at every possible opportunity, nationalize whole industries, steal $billions from other countries, methodically dismantle democratic institutions, impose leftist brainwashing in schools, spread destabilizing communist ideology throughout Latin America, form an alliance against America with the terrorist regime in Iran, cause food shortages, send out goons to shoot opposition protesters, shut down media outlets that aren't sufficiently sycophantic, that sort of thing.

If Chavez could make Baba Wawa's most fascinating list, he might be in the running for a Nobel Peace Prize after all.

It's one thing to fall in love with a talking dog, but slobbering over Chavez is too much.

On a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:13 AM | Comments (7)

Did Second-Rate Moviemaker Find bin Laden?

Morgan Spurlock, the obscure filmmaker who tried to become Michael Moore by eating too much junk food in front of a camera while denouncing American dietary habits, may have scored a remarkable journalistic coup: an interview with Osama bin Laden. If MSNBC is to believed:

The speculation first began at the Berlin International Film Festival in February, where Spurlock showed a select group of potential buyers 15 minutes of footage from his new documentary, "Where in the World Is Osama bin Laden?" The film follows Spurlock through the Middle East in his search for the elusive leader of al-Qaida. According to Slashfilm.com, The Weinstein Co. quickly snapped up the picture after seeing the clips.

Adding to the belief, Daniel Marracino, the film's director of photography, is quoted in Variety, saying of the movie, "We've definitely got the Holy Grail."

According to the moonbats at Ain't It Cool News, Spurlock was offered $25 million for the movie based on those 15 minutes.

If a goofball like Spurlock could find bin Laden after all forty-eleven of our intelligence bureaucracies failed, it would be the best argument yet for abolishing every bloated department that contributes to the National Intelligence Estimate and starting over from scratch.

However, this is most likely an irresponsible publicity stunt that with any luck will end Spurlock's uninspired attempt at a career.

Maybe Spurlock should be running the CIA instead of making stupid movies.

On a tip from Monsterforge.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:19 AM | Comments (3)

Pimping for a Pacifist

Ron Paul, the pacifistic libertarian running as a Republican, has garnered support in some unsavory places — including among 9/11 Truther psychos and now at Nevada's BunnyRanch, possibly the world's most famous legal brothel. Proprietor Dennis Hof has issued an appeal to voters, which the pimp hopes will "lubricate Ron Paul's path to the White House."

Even the Paul campaign, which is not embarrassed to demand we surrender to al-Qaeda in Iraq, is sheepish about getting support from a whorehouse.

BunnyRanch customers are advised that you can get two "bunnies" for the price of one if you tell them you're "pimpin' for Paul."

On a tip from Heckrules.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:42 AM | Comments (10)

Shrillary Campaign Office Kook Is Definitive Moonbat

Howie Carr offers a little background on Leeland Eisenberg, the loser who recently created a hostage crisis at a Shrillary campaign office in New Hampshire, because according to the voices in his head:

I need to sacrifice myself to make a statement for mental health for everybody, to bring this issue to the forefront.

Eisenberg compiled a lengthy criminal record in neighboring Taxachusetts. His "troubled past" includes burglary and raping women at knifepoint. After breaking out of prison for one rape, he was arrested for another. He then sued the Department of Correction for letting him escape.

Another accomplishment was collecting a settlement for having been molested by a priest at age 21, though even his aunt dismissed the alleged incident as a "big story."

Though he couldn't afford medication thanks to capitalist oppression, he had enough cash for cigarettes and to stay drunk most if not all the time.

According to his lawyer, Eisenberg's criminal behavior was the "act of a desperate man." It was noble too, because he was

seeking help not for his own situation but for the plight of people everywhere who seek and cannot find answers to their psychological problems.

In short, Eisenberg is a whining, posturing, sociopathic, useless, irresponsible, parasitical, drunken, socialist degenerate with mental problems. No wonder he felt drawn to a Hillary campaign office.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:17 AM | Comments (2)

December 5, 2007

Global Warming Crusaders Menace Environment

The elitist nitwits who insist on saving us from the imaginary climate change crisis are graduating from sabotaging the world economy to vandalizing the planet they so piously proclaim to serve.

According to one estimate, the bureauweenies converging on Bali to soak up fruity cocktails and yap about the sacrifices the rest of us need to make to prevent global warming will produce as much greenhouse gas on jet transportation and air-conditioning for one conference as the entire country Chad does in a year. But not to worry: official documents will be on recycled paper.

Fortunately, the tens of thousands of tons of emissions produced by these sanctimonious poseurs are unlikely to have any effect on the environment. The same can't be said of the maniacal schemes of Professor Thomas Homer-Dixon, who wants to choke the air with toxic sulfate aerosols in a deranged attempt to block out radiation from the sun.

Like their cousin the vampire, moonbats are terrified of the sun. At some level they seem to grasp that it is the actual cause of the mild warming we experienced in the 1990s. Another Homer-Dixon plan to defend us from the sun involves hanging mirrors in outer space.

Readers will be relieved that Homer-Dixon is not a science professor. A certifiably useless person, he holds the George Ignatieff Chair of Peace and Conflict Studies at the Trudeau Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies at University College, University of Toronto. No doubt it would fall to the UN to poison the world's atmosphere with sulfates and fill outer space with mirrors, since I doubt Canada has the budget.

Then there is the devastation — both economic and environmental — that the biofuels boondoggle threatens to impose.

It's past time to disband the useless supernational institutions like the UN and EU that have been pushing the global warming hoax — for Mother Earth's sake, if not our own.

On tips from Matt and Bill. Hat tip: Texas Rainmaker.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:48 PM | Comments (11)

Santa Canned for Saying "Ho Ho Ho"

The proscription against Santa saying "ho ho ho" noted earlier has claimed a victim.

John Oakes, who has been a Santa for 10 years, says he was fired by the Myer department store in Cairns, Northern Australia, for refusing to change his laugh to the more politically correct "ha ha ha." In the aftermath of the Don Imus farce, cowards cringe in terror whenever someone says "ho."

Since the ho in "ho ho ho" is not the same word as in "nappy-headed ho," the PC police have moved beyond words to banning sounds. It won't be long before letters of the alphabet join the ranks of the forbidden.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:09 PM | Comments (8)

Nobel Prize for Explaining Global Warming Hoax

The Wall Street Journal reveals that a Nobel Prize has been awarded for the science behind the global warming hoax.

Obviously this does not refer to the Goracle's bogus Peace Prize, which has everything to do with leftist politics and nothing to do with science. Nor has a prize been awarded to the scientists who have shown the independence and integrity to discredit the hoax. But Daniel Kahneman did get a Nobel in 2002 for research that explains how the hoax works.

Kahneman studied "availability bias" — our tendency to judge the validity of a proposition by its familiarity. Arising from this research are the terms "availability cascade" (describing how a proposition becomes accepted if the media repeats it), "informational cascade" (our tendency to throw out our beliefs in favor of everyone else's), and "reputational cascade" (the rational incentive to make our beliefs conform to the herd).

Availability cascades pose a problem for scientists:

What if the heads being counted to certify an alleged "consensus" arrived at their positions by counting heads?

That is, scientists are like everyone else in that they buy into the global warming hoax only because they've been convinced everyone else is.

This is no problem for the Goracle, who stands to get very rich off the hoax, despite a lifestyle that strongly suggests he doesn't believe in it himself.

On tips from Varla and Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:42 PM | Comments (4)

Cult of Shrillary Despises "Uppity" Obambi

As they say, even the blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut, and there are plenty of nuts to be found at Huffington Post. Sam Stein, posting on how Clintonistas "despise" Barack Hussein Obambi for being a "dishonest poser," quotes David Corn:

They truly believe it. And other Democrats in Washington report encountering the same when speaking with Clinton campaign people. "They really, really hate Obama," one Democratic operative unaffiliated with any campaign, tells me. "They can't stand him. They talk about him as if he's worse than Bush." What do they hate about him? After all, there aren't a lot of deep policy differences between the two, and he hasn't gone for the jugular during the campaign. "It's his presumptuousness," this operative says. "That he thinks he can deny her the nomination. Who is he to try to do that?" You mean, he's, uh, uppity? "Yes." A senior House Democratic aide notes, "The Clinton people are going nuts in how much they hate him. But the problem is their narrative has gone beyond the plausible."

The implausible narrative has recently featured taking Obama to task for views he expressed in kindergarten.

In contrast to the usual moonbat guano, some of the comments on Stein's post appear almost sensible. Some examples:

Let me make something perfectly clear, HILLARY CLINTON WILL BE THE DEATH OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. She will be electoral poison all the way down the ticket, every Democrat across this country will be forced to run away from her and every republican will be emboldened and energized like never before. The reason they are attacking her her now is because they want Democrats to rally to her — it is every conservatives wet dream to run against Hillary. She is, whether you like it or not, she is the most polarizing figure in American politics today. Even if she were to somehow scrap together a 47% victory next november she will be completely unable to govern. Not ONE republican will touch a piece of legislation with her name on it, and every Democrat will be terrified of being labeled a HillaryCrat and will be forced to distance themselves from her as mush as possible. We will lose the congress in 2010 and by 2012 her approval ratings will probably be hovering somewhere in the mid 20's[…]

Sorry for all of you who want to wish away reality, but according to the latest latimes poll the american people are finding out that Obama is not ready to be President: http://craigfarmer.blogspot.com/ It is easy to run a campaign against a serious candidate when you are not one yourself. This is because you don't have to worry about the consequences of what you say when you win the election. You won't win.

Clinton's clan says: "It's his presumptuousness.…That he thinks he can deny her the nomination. Who is he to try to do that?" — the very definition of "presumptuousness" and the arrogance of blind ambition — Hillary's not Obama's. […] The Hillary that is once again bursting out of her corseted political posture as pressure accumulates from her long constrained fuller-figured nature is the Hillary whom many remember and dislike.

Watching Shrillary and Obambi supporters throw furniture at each other in the left-wing blogosphere is a refreshing reminder that the very hatred that motivates moonbats will inevitably tear them apart.

Of course, not all the commenters are as sensible as those quoted above. Here's one more in line with what we've come to expect of HuffPo:

I am the one who cheered when our war criminal troops were being blasted away, I am the on who called for armed insurrection against this illegitimate never elected fascist vermin government. I am the one who called for a coup within the military, to save our nation… (soon to be reposted) IT HAS HAPPENED ! The CIA NIE (IRAN HAS NO BOMB) is a coup… to save our nation from the abyss. the plan by bush + neocons was to sacrifice the Fifth fleet (10,000 sailors +) to so stir America into tolerating a "nukular" response on Iran. […] What we have here is a coup against the neocons, the zionists and bush. […] I[f] bush raises the ante we need to take to the streets (with weapons) if necessary!

Et cetera, et cetera. Then the nurse came and made him take his medication.

Hat tip: DUmmie FUnnies, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:45 AM | Comments (2)

ACLU Creep King Downing Sues to Undermine Terror Defenses

The ACLU continues to chip away at our anti-terror defenses. King Downing, the top official charged with ending racial profiling for the ACLU, screeches that he himself was the victim of profiling at Logan Airport in Boston.

As you might recall, this is the airport from which half of the 9/11 flights originated, so it is hardly surprising that the ACLU would place emphasis on undermining its anti-terror measures.

State police stopped Downing at the airport in 2003. They asked to see his identification; he refused to provide it. They threatened him with arrest. He coughed up his drivers license and they let him go. Now he's suing the police as well as the Massachusetts Port Authority over his own infantile behavior on the grounds the incident constituted racial profiling. Ironically, four of the five troopers involved were black.

Needless to say, it isn't easy preventing future hijackings when questioning someone who looks and acts like a terrorist results in extravagant lawsuits. This is the strategy pursued by the Flying Imams with the help of allies in our own government.

Muslim terrorists are still out there plotting to kill as many of us as they can. The ACLU, sharing their profound hatred of everything this country stands for, is doing all it can to assist them.

On a tip from Bill.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:25 AM | Comments (6)

Archbishop of Canterbury Bashes America, Sucks Up to Muslims

As liberal ideology rots away the foundations of Western Civilization, making eventual Islamic conquest seem inevitable, some have placed their hope for the future in Christian clergy, who have an obvious stake in preserving our culture. But horrifyingly, even churches have been corrupted by moonbattery.

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, is the senior prelate of the Church of England. FrontPage reports on an appalling interview he gave with the British Islamic lifestyle magazine Emel.

Rather than criticizing Muslims for killing Christians and driving them out of Iraq, he blames America. Rather than taking Muslims to task for their decades-long terror war against Israel, he denounces the fence Israelis use to keep bloodthirsty Muslim fanatics from killing their children. He also displays his dhimmitude by excoriating Christian Zionists. But most of his venom is reserved for America, the only counterbalance to expansionist Islam as Europe dissolves into politically correct degradation.

Williams' denunciations of the USA display astonishing ignorance, unapologetic hypocrisy and a cretinous willingness to seize on even the hollowest rhetoric if it serves his obsequious purpose.

America has lost the "moral high ground," Williams chides. To recover it, he prescribes:

A generous and intelligent programme of aid directed to the societies that have been ravaged; a check on the economic exploitation of defeated territories; a demilitarization of their presence.

As if we aren't already pouring in massive amounts of money to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan, countries that have been in ruins for decades due to the inept and autocratic governments of thugs like Saddam Hussein and Mullah Omar. If anyone's being exploited economically, it's American taxpayers. "Demilitarization" in this context merely means turning the countries over to terrorists.

But according to Williams, America is to blame for having "undermined most of the foundations" on which "responsible civil society" can be built. You know, foundations like the Baath Party and the Taliban.

He calls American influence, the only light holding back the darkness of totalitarianism, the "worst of all worlds." Contrasting it unfavorably with British colonialism, he incredibly accuses us of trying to "move on" from Iraq after a "quick burst of violent action" — even while condemning us for trying to stabilize the situation before withdrawing. Obviously America cannot win where moonbats like Williams are concerned.

Needless to say, the folks at Emel love him. Good little dhimmi, we'll behead you last.

Rowan Williams: a servile moonbat dhimmi where Britain needs a leader.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:56 AM | Comments (15)

More Dhimmitude in British Hospitals

Virginity reinstallations and burka-style hospital gowns are only the beginning of the inconveniences dhimmitude imposes on Britain's overburdened socialist healthcare system. The Daily Express reports:

Overworked nurses have been ordered to stop all medical work five times every day to move Muslim patients' beds so they face towards Mecca.

The lengthy procedure, which also includes providing fresh bathing water, is creating turmoil among overstretched staff on bustling NHS wards. […] And a taxpayer-funded training programme for several hundred hospital staff has begun to ensure that all are familiar with the workings of the Muslim faith.

Complains a senior nurse at Dewsbury and District Hospital in West Yorkshire:

Some people might think it is not that big a deal, but we have a huge Muslim population in Dewsbury and if we are having to turn dozens of beds to face Mecca five times a day, plus provide running water for them to wash before and after prayers, it is bound to impact on the essential medical service we are supposed to be providing.

In the future, all British hospital beds will have to be oriented with Mecca in mind, just like prison toilets and graves. After all, complying with the dictates of Islam is what Britainnistan is all about.

On tips from Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:00 AM | Comments (6)

Pakistan Ejects Code Pinkos

There is one advantage to living in a hellhole like Pakistan — you wouldn't have to put up with Code Pink, which was thrown out of the country yesterday after agitating against our endangered ally Pervez Musharraf.

Medea Benjamin, queen moonbat of the cult, was detained for a few hours before getting the boot. She whines:

They mistreated us. […] They totally terrorized us.

If she weren't American, instead of sniveling to the press, she would be learning what it means to be mistreated and terrorized, as Benjamin herself understands:

If they do this to us, who have the protection of being U.S. citizens, imagine what they do to their own citizens.

But don't expect Code Pinkos' shriveled hearts to swell with patriotic pride — or for them to stop making a mockery of our form of government by disrupting congressional hearings with their freak show antics.

On tips from Charles and Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:18 AM | Comments (8)

December 4, 2007

Time to Find Another Name for Pork Chops

In Orwell's prescient 1984, government bureauweenies enslave the populace at an ever more profound level by eliminating words from the language, as limiting vocabulary limits thought. The farcical application of Orwellian totalitarianism by politically correct knuckleheads has just claimed another casualty:

Two days after naming its mascot "PorkChop," the Philadelphia Phillies' new Triple-A affiliate abruptly dropped the moniker after receiving complaints from Hispanics that it was offensive.

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs, whose mascot is a large, furry pig, had selected PorkChop from more than 7,300 fan submissions. The team, which begins play in 2008, announced Monday that the mascot will be named "Ferrous" instead.

General Manager Kurt Landes said he heard from several Hispanics who said PorkChop was derogatory.

"We were really unaware of any negative connotations with the word 'pork chop,"' he said. "If it offended a few, it's a few too many."

Update your dictionaries, moonbats! The term "pork chop" has been deleted from Newspeak.

Being a pig, PorkChop — I mean Ferrous — is probably also offensive to Muslims. Maybe they ought to just call off the whole thing.

On tips from Bill and Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:08 PM | Comments (21)

Environmentalists Against Enviromoonbattery

The international biofuels boondoggle is so pointless, corrupt, counterproductive and moronic, even environmentalists are disgusted by it:

Prominent environmentalists around the world are preparing to battle global warming alarmists at a United Nations conference on climate change taking place in Bali, Indonesia on December 3 to December 12. […]

Opponents of biofuels read like a Who's Who of environmental activist groups. The Worldwatch Institute, World Conservation Union, and the global charity Oxfam warn that by directing food staples to the production of transport fuels, biofuels policy is leading to the starvation and further impoverishment of the world's poor.

Good thing anthropogenic global warming is a hoax; if it were real, biofuels would be making it worse, by destroying rainforest and peat bogs for the sake of palm oil production. Warns James M. Taylor of The Heartland Institute:

Some of the world's most effective carbon sinks are being destroyed and long-stored carbon is now being released into the atmosphere in massive quantities, merely to make wealthy Westerners feel like they are "doing something" to address global warming. The reality is, they are making things worse.

That's what bureaucrats are there for — which is why the EU, the UN and the Bush Administration will continue to ram biofuels down our throats, at the expense of the planet and everyone living on it.

Hat tip: Coyote Blog, on a tip from Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:46 PM | Comments (3)

Green Hanukkia

Christmas isn't the only holiday infringed upon by politically correct idiocy:

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

"The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won't need another miracle," said Liad Ortar, the campaign's cofounder, who runs the Arkada environmental consulting firm and the Ynet Web site's environmental forum. "Global warming is a milestone in human evolution that requires us to rethink how we live our lives, and one of the main paradigms of that is religion and how it fits into the current situation."

Traditionally Hanukka involves Judaism. But this is quickly giving way to a different faith altogether.

Fortunately, not all Jews are on board. Rabbi Benny Lau of Jerusalem's Ramban Congregation remarks:

Tikkun olam [fixing the world] must be done by adding more light and not by adding more darkness.

Amen.

On tips from David and Bill.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:44 PM | Comments (4)

Dem Senator's Aide Planned to Molest 13-Year-Old Boy

As the media continues to work itself into a lather over the escapades of disgraced Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), it will be interesting to see how much attention they give his colleague Maria Cantwell (D-WA), whose aide James Michael McHaney has been arrested for arranging a homosexual tryst with a cooperating witness posing as a 13-year-old boy.

Showing remarkable intolerance toward polysexual diversity, Cantwell fired the creep immediately. Too bad for McHaney he was just an aide and not a Democrat Congressman like Gerry Studds, who was reelected repeatedly after admitting to homosexual statutory rape.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:15 PM | Comments (2)

Moonbats Try to Silence Murdered Cop's Widow

Proving the appeal to moonbats of unadulterated evil, convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal is worshiped as a demigod in progressive circles.

Since being placed on death row a generation ago for murdering Philadelphia police officer Daniel Faulkner in 1981, Abu-Jamal has given commencement addresses for UC Berkeley, UC Santa Cruz, Antioch College, Occidental College, and Evergreen State College. NPR even had plans to pay him taxpayers' money for commentary on the execrable program "All Things Considered." The murderer has a street named after him in Saint-Denis, France, and is an honorary citizen of Paris.

Abu-Jamal shot Officer Faulkner in the back from about a foot away. No one has seriously contested his guilt. He is not only a cold-blooded cop killer, but a virulently anti-American black Marxist with dreadlocks who took on a Muslim name (he was born Wesley Cook). All of this makes him so sacred to moonbats that they are threatening to storm Rockefeller Center, enraged that Faulkner's widow Maureen is scheduled to appear on the Today Show Thursday.

Maureen Faulkner is promoting her new book, Murdered by Mumia: A Life Sentence of Pain, Loss and Injustice.

The Today Show people have no official comment, but according to an obscene cult calling itself the Free Mumia Abu-Jamal Coalition (NYC), they are negotiating with the moonbats. If true, this would set a new MSM standard for contemptible cowardice.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:34 PM | Comments (5)

AP Pretends Cuba Is a Democracy

As most everyone knows, Cuba has been a communist dictatorship since Fidel Castro seized power by force in 1959, since which there have been no meaningful elections. Political dissidents are imprisoned or killed, as are those caught trying to escape the country.

But it's only been half a century, so news of these developments has not yet reached the clueless moonbats at AP. Get a load of this:

HAVANA (AP) — City council officials in eastern Cuba nominated Fidel Castro for a parliament seat Sunday, a position the ailing 81-year-old must hold if he wants to remain the communist-run island's president after national elections in January. […]

Members of municipal assemblies in Castro's home province of Santiago nominated him for parliament, known as the National Assembly. If he agrees to be a candidate and is re-elected during national elections Jan. 20, Castro will remain in the running for another term as Council of State president.

Cuba elects National Assembly members every five years. Several weeks after a new slate of members is chosen, parliament convenes to choose the Council of State. Castro has held the council's presidency since it was created in 1976. Previously Cuba's prime minister, he has been the nation's unchallenged leader since leading a successful revolution 1959.

Unchallenged? Why did the thousands executed by Castro's pet fiend Che Guevara die, if not because they were suspected of challenging the Left's beloved Comandante? But I'm forgetting: Guevara was a Hero of the People, just like Cuba is a democracy.

Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:08 AM | Comments (2)

2007 Worst Kostard Quotes

Right Wing News has posted The 2nd Annual Worst Quotes From The Daily Kos (2007 Edition). These are drawn not from commenters, but from actual authors on the blog that is so influential among Dems, all the major presidential candidates came to Yearly Kos to offer their obeisance.

A few samples:

I know I'm a Jewish lesbian and (Ahmadinejad would) probably have me killed. But still, the guy speaks some blunt truths about the Bush Administration that make me swoon… Okay, I admit it. Part of it is that he just looks cuddly. […] There are certainly many things about Ahmadinejad that I abhor — locking up dissidents, executing of gay folks, denying the fact of the Holocaust, potentially adding another dangerous nuclear power to the world and, in general, stifling democracy. Even still, I can't help but be turned on by his frank rhetoric calling out the horrors of the Bush Administration and, for that matter, generations of US foreign policy preceding. — sallykohn

I want to stand by and watch it all blow up. I want the dollar to plunge to worthless paper. I want the stock market to implode. I want the economy to plunge into chaos. I want the Chinese to call in all the debt they hold. […] Only total economic destruction will get the attention of the fools. …And I want it now, before this inept, self-serving Congress allows the Facists one more opportunity to fully convert this from the United States of America, into the 4th Reich." — Granny Doc

But do I still support the individual men and women who have given so much to serve their country? No. I think they're a bunch of idiots. I also think they're morally retarded. Because they sign a contract that says they will kill whoever you tell me to kill. And that is morally retarded. Friends, the most important moral decision a man makes in the course of a day is "Who am I going to kill today?" That's a decision you should agonize over, dream about, rehearse in your mind for hours, not just leave up to some hare-brained President you didn't even vote for. A man's killing list is a very personal matter. It should be between him and those persistent voices in his head. So to sum up, I don't like our troops, I don't like what they're doing, I don't like their fat, whining families, and yet, I support them. — AWhitneyBrown

This is the Netroots base to which Democrat politicians owe allegiance.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:21 AM | Comments (16)

Labour Wants Rewrite of "God Save the Queen"

Lord Goldsmith, former attorney general and the lawyer leading Labour's review of Britishness, suggests that Britain's National Anthem should be rewritten because "God Save the Queen" is insufficiently inclusive.

The problem is that some lyrics in obscure later verses express bellicosity toward the Queen's enemies. But there's some good news: the Union Jack will be preserved — for now.

Britain's is the world's first national anthem.

On a tip from El Presidente.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:43 AM | Comments (3)

Civil Rights Game Goes Annual

ESPN, the CNN of sports, is proud to announce that last year's civil rights exhibition game will be repeated every year, lest anyone forget to keep picking the scabs of past generations' racial iniquities.

Squawks MLB commissioner Bud Selig:

We decided to make it an annual event. It was a proud moment for all of baseball.

Why anyone would be proud of neurotically wallowing in white guilt was not explained.