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November 5, 2007
Moonbats Send Santa to Bootcamp
Not even Santa Claus can escape the hysterical obsession with weight that is the current rage among British moonbats:
Santa is being told to shift the pounds before Christmas — because the obese saint is failing to set a "good example" for children.
The traditional children's hero, best known for feasting on mince pies left out on Christmas eve, has always sported a bulging midriff.
But shopping centre bosses are giving the well-wisher his marching orders — to the nearest gym — to tackle the increasing problem of obesity.
The revelation comes after a medical report earlier this month stated that by 2050 more than 50 per cent of Brits will be obese.
Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, Kent, has even gone one step further and set-up a Santa boot camp.
Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said: "Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.
"Bluewater's Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolise him."
Hopefully the bootcamp will also feature ideological reorientation, so that Santa will stop promoting Christmas at the expense of more multiculturally inclusive and politically enlightened holidays, like Ramadan and Joseph Stalin's birthday.
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A moonbat's conception of Santa isn't fat. |
Posted by Van Helsing at November 5, 2007 9:50 AM
Comments
I love that movie so much it's crazy....I mean to find yourself almost rooting for that scum bag by the end.
Saw this story this morning and must say, while it is admirable to suggest to kids, since they no longer play outside for hours like they did when I was a kid, to shape up....Santa is not fat from cookies....Santa is fat to represent all the "jolliness" he has.
The "fatness" is to show his adundance and fullness of joy, caring, giving and sharing.
Uh, of course, not that he exists or anything. Ya know. :)
What's next? Neutering the Easter Bunny because rabbits have too many kids?
Posted by: Jenn at November 5, 2007 10:48 AM
And oh what a big surprise, the snotty spokesperson for the mall has a hyphenated last name. Of course, of course.
Posted by: Bill Cruchon at November 5, 2007 10:58 AM
Saw this story on Cavuto today. I told him Santa needs an extra layer of fat to keep warm in the frozen artic wasteland. Like walruses. Unless you believe the global warming hoax.
Posted by: the paperboy at November 5, 2007 4:59 PM
