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November 28, 2007
Moonbats Push Unsightly Clotheslines
Now that we're required to regard carbon dioxide — the stuff that comes out of our mouths when we breathe — as a deadly toxin, lifestyle changes need to be made. Time magazine wants us to hang our clothes out on laundry lines to get crapped on by birds instead of sticking them in the drier. This will please Gaia, and she will reward us with more propitious weather.
After clothes driers, the moonbat media will go after dishwashers, then vacuum cleaners, then refrigerators, etc. When they've made us revert to the 19th century, they'll push us back farther still with complaints that our fireplaces release dreaded CO2.
Our houses themselves are no doubt offenses to Gaia, made as they are of the flesh of murdered trees. Teepees might make an environmentally sustainable alternative, except they mustn't be made from the skin of slaughtered animals. Vinyl teepees would do a better job of keeping out the rain anyway, but would involve environmentally damaging manufacturing processes.
Best if we climbed back into the trees. But that might disturb the habitat of squirrels. Maybe if we burrowed holes in the ground, we could avoid offending Gaia. But what of the poor earthworms, who after all were there first?
Where it will all lead us, only our enlightened superiors at Time magazine know.
On a tip from Scott.
Posted by Van Helsing at November 28, 2007 8:25 AM
Comments
There's nothing wrong with clotheslines
Posted by: Bandit at November 28, 2007 1:39 PM
As an option no, nothing is wrong with clotheslines.
when I read the title and opening sentence, I thought that it was about a "line of clothes" design that were ugly.
Posted by: KHarn at November 28, 2007 2:46 PM
Nothing wrong with them at all. Except that they make the place look uglier and knock down property values.
So if Moonbats emulated their beloved global warming prophets, they'd rabidy scream for clothesline to be set up anywhere else but their property.
http://www.grist.org/news/muck/2006/01/12/capecod/
Posted by: Scott at November 28, 2007 8:48 PM
If I hear that a Time editor has given up the dryer for clotheslines, then I agree to do the same.
More likely, said Time editor will fly the company learjet to a conference to announce that other people should use clotheslines.
Posted by: mega at November 28, 2007 9:36 PM
