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The first one... yup, total crock of shit.

There's a man with guts!!

I'd drink there!

Este vato es loco y terrible! Viva Hillary! Viva todos que gustan mis hermanos ilegales! Vava Mexico!
(Press 1 for English translation)

Uh...that was satire, folks. My mother's family immigrated here legally from Mexico. Although her parents never were, my mother and her sister were naturalized citizens after graduating from English speaking high schools.
My father's mother was also a legal immigrant. My father was born here and spoke English better than most of the ignorant wetbacks here speak Spanish. He was a retired US Air Force officer who insisted we learn, speak, and use proper English, make excellent grades, and go to college.
Although I am fluent in Spanish, I refuse to speak Spanish when someone tries to speak it to me. The only thing I ever tell people in Spanish is, "This is the United States, learn the language."

That's over by Pittsburgh, about 120 miles from here. But if I'm ever in the area ...