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November 2, 2007
British Bureauweenies to Impose Food Rationing?
Most kids have been advised by their parents to finish their plates. Many have wondered why they should have to, when they aren't hungry anymore, except for dessert. Enviromoonbats now have an answer: because if they don't, the polar bears will perish from global warming!
U.K. Environment minister Joan Ruddock yells that some of the food we don't finish goes into landfills to rot, emitting methane, which in sufficiently massive quantities could conceivably alter the temperature. Ruddock takes the issue so seriously that she has ominously warned:
We cannot fail to do what is necessary.
British bureauweenies have already recommended applying totalitarian measures to ensure that Britons don't overeat. My guess is that they will soon kill two birds with one stone by rationing food. After all, if Brits were ever going to rebel against the authoritarian moonbattery that is smothering their civilization, they probably would have done it by now.
On a tip from nanc.
Posted by Van Helsing at November 2, 2007 8:09 AM
Comments
This is the particularly unbelievable part of the environment scam. Regardless of whether adding extra carbon (from fossils) is bad-- let's assume it it-- the ultimate destiny of dead organisms is always the same. They release the carbon from which they are made back into the environment, an inescapable process which in Topsyland is now "emissions".
Grow a carrot. Leave it in the field. It dies, it rots, emits its carbon. Eat it. It turns into poo. The poo rots and it emits its carbon. Don't eat it, put it straight in a landfill. It rots and emits its carbon.
They're trying to abolish the carbon cycle, the basis of life on earth. Perhaps next they'll try to abolish the hydrological cycle, amid fears that if it keeps raining, the sky will run dry.
Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at November 2, 2007 8:48 AM
Great analysis! Its just like the hydrogen car. It burns that nice clean hydrogen and only leaves water as its residue. Never mind that hydrogen is not available naturally on earth because it would only float up in the atmosphere and out into space. So in order to get that hydrogen you need to use some other source of energy to break up a water molecule and today that has to be fossil based fuels. The conversion of one kind of energy storage to another is always less efficient so for the same amount of bang out of hydrogen you need to start with more fossil fuel.
But you know, it just feels better doesn't it?
Posted by: bobf at November 2, 2007 10:33 AM
The only way to abolish the carbon system is to kill each and every living thing on earth.
I wouldn't put it past them to consider it...
Posted by: Pam at November 2, 2007 10:34 AM
i propose kill a liberal a day for a year, i'm betting if we all chip in the planet will recover and be a garden of eden :)
Posted by: furballz at November 2, 2007 11:31 AM
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE !!!!
Posted by: Anonymous at November 2, 2007 12:32 PM
"Why do the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge take precedence over the vast majority of Americans who are decent, normal people?"
Even Scrooge and the Grinch eventually had a change of heart. Unfortunately, moonbats probably never will.
Posted by: code3 at November 2, 2007 1:50 PM
You fools! Don't you know that if we kill all liberals, their rotting corpses will clog up the city streets and pump gigatons of carbon and methane into the fragile atmosphere!
We must send them all on a luxury holidya to 'Venus'!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons
Posted by: Scott at November 2, 2007 6:44 PM
Yeah well as far as rebelling goes, even Burmese monks are not bulletproof ;)
He who controls the guns controls the society
Posted by: wiz at November 4, 2007 2:24 PM
