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September 1, 2007
Schism in Moonbattery's Unholy Church
Christianity has Catholics and Protestants. Islam has Shiites and Sunnis. Moonbattery may also be headed for a schism.
Al Gore, the jet-set High Priest of Antihuman Environmentalist Extremism, has preached that we must give up safe vehicles and putter around in little high-mileage deathtraps to demonstrate our subservience to Gaia. But PETA kooks prefer to focus on the notion that eating meat makes it be too hot out.
The animal rights nuts cling to a claim by the bureauweenies at the UN Food and Agriculture Organization that farm animals generate more greenhouse gas emissions than all forms of transportation combined, largely due to their (the animals') endless farting. If we didn't eat cows and pigs, we wouldn't raise them. If we didn't raise them, they wouldn't exist in significant numbers. Limit their numbers and we can limit their farts, thus saving us all from warm weather.
You would think that self-proclaimed advocates of animals would want to increase their numbers, but the animal rights movement is about hurting humans, not helping animals.
One of the humans they want to hurt is Al Gore, who will be delivering a sermon at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver October 2. The PETA kooks plan to be there with trucks toting billboards that will feature a cartoon of the Goracle eating a drumstick and the message:
Too Chicken to Go Vegetarian? Meat Is the #1 Cause of Global Warming.
Thanks PETA. If the global warming hoax is still considered by any credible person as anything but a joke, this should help straighten them out.
However, if moonbattery prevails, the joke will be anything but funny, as moonbat bureauweenies will use the whole "food causes global warming" notion to impose on us a diet that will not allow for healthy human development.
Hat tip: Slapstick Politics.
Posted by Van Helsing at September 1, 2007 11:10 AM
Comments
"Too Chicken to Go Vegetarian? Meat Is the #1 Cause of Global Warming."
If animal farts are a major green house gas, then it is not only farm animals we need to blame.
It seems logical that all wildlife must be hunted down and slaughtered to save Mother Gaia.
Posted by: dpt at September 1, 2007 12:52 PM
dpt is right. So PETA's next slogan might be:
"Club a seal. Save the planet."
Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at September 1, 2007 2:17 PM
And another thing, if PETA's now trying to save us from global warming by promoting vegetarianism to prevent excess animal flatulence, does their vegetarian diet exclude cabbage and broccoli?
Sorry, it had to be said.
Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at September 1, 2007 2:20 PM
OT:
The oak tree idiots in California were just featured during the Cal/Vols football game on ABC. Fortunately, they were wearing clothes this time.
The anouncers appropriately described them as "aging hippies" and pointed out that the trees were planted as part of a previous landscaping project...
Any Vols fans Tivo the game?
Posted by: forest at September 1, 2007 6:10 PM
There are many nicknames and titles for Al Gore floating around the blogosphere, but "the jet-set High Priest of Antihuman Environmentalist Extremism" is one of the best I've seen. Good one.
Posted by: AWOL Civilization at September 1, 2007 7:15 PM
Today's college freshman have a togh choice ahead of them: save the animals or save the icecaps? This should make for good 3 a.m. conversation over chicken wings before piling back into dad's Range Rover to get back to campus. (Sophomores have the tougher choice: sell the used textbooks on "Post-Modernist Feminism And The Subjugation of Everyone As The Planet Dies Under The Weight Of Oppressive Western Culture" to buy a train ticket to the Morgan Stanley junior broker interview, or just sell some dope to get there even quicker and keep the textbooks around on the Ikea coffee table to get laid).
Posted by: mega at September 1, 2007 7:20 PM
PETA must be in quite an ethical quandary over whether or not instead of animals we should eat beans. I mean...
Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 1, 2007 7:44 PM
Just saw this on the PJ Blog:
AZ Artist will try to sell digitally altered photos of Iraq War casualties — including dead soldiers and Iraqi civilians
Under the usual moonbat guise of 'Art'
Posted by: davec at September 1, 2007 9:42 PM
Help save the planet. Slap a liberal, today.
Posted by: Jimbo at September 2, 2007 5:19 AM
What a choice! Sort of like the Iran-Iraq War, or WWII on the Eastern Front (Nazis vs Soviets), or an OU-Miami football game. Any way both sides can lose, or at least keep shooting at each other?
Posted by: Texan at September 3, 2007 1:59 PM
Texan: Another good one is Fatah vs. Hamas -- doesn't really matter who dies, or how many die, just keep on killin', guys! We "love" you both!
Debbie Schlussel's far more apt name for PeTA: "PuTAh," or "People for the (un)ethical Treatment of Animals and humans." "PuTAh," of course, has an equally apt meaning in Spanish -- fits the "animal rights" people to a "T," or perhaps I should have said to a "W," since they dig publicity so much.
Posted by: jc14 at September 3, 2007 2:28 PM
