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August 29, 2007
Suicide Chumps Get Special Phones on Tappan Zee Bridge
Posted by Dave Blount at August 29, 2007 11:21 AM
Taxpayers are now providing special telephones on the Tappan Zee bridge, which crosses the Hudson River above New York City, so that suicide chumps can call the Lifeline suicide prevention hot line and get the attention they crave. State troopers would be sent to the phones.
There's no walkway on the Tappan Zee; the headcases just stop their cars in the middle of traffic and climb over the side. Some of them jump; some of them just clamber up and wait for the police to rescue them, as traffic is forced to back up literally for miles.
As someone who commuted for years across the Tappan Zee, I have a better suggestion than the phones: anvils that the loonies can attached to their necks so that they will sink quickly, avoiding the traffic nightmares caused by rescue attempts.
On a tip from Nanc.
