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August 20, 2007
Mark Morford: Case Study in Rove Derangement Syndrome
When tinfoil-hat liberals go off on Karl Rove, the first reaction is to laugh at the patent silliness of their paranoid delusions. But then the awareness kicks in that they actually mean it. Insanity isn't so amusing when it causes its victims to fester with violent hatred, particularly when no one is making them take their meds.
NewsBusters points the way to a particularly disturbing example of Rove Derangement Syndrome coughed up by Mark Morford in the San Franfreakshow Comical. Brace yourself for a glimpse into the abyss:
Yep, you've done some horrible things in your life. Embarrassing things. Stupid. Mean. Violent, even. Eaten dirt. Smacked a baby. Kicked a kitten. Stomped some flowers. Stole. Lied. Cheated. Beat up a tree. Spit instead of swallowed. Drank bad wine. Voted Republican. Shared a needle. Promised to call and then didn't. You know, the usual.
But maybe some of these things now make you cringe and recoil and slump down a little lower in your chair when you think about them, because, well, maybe you've developed something resembling a conscience over the years, or maybe you've even gone so far as to consider the possibility of karma, of cosmic consequence, of the dire effects of wallowing for far too much of your life in all that goopy, stupid low vibration we sometimes call war or hate or religious dogma or the Olsen twins. […]
But then, something happens. In the midst of all this consciousness review and energy sifting, you pause. You take a karmic time-out. You lift your head from the hardscrabble tumult of your cosmic computations and look around, maybe read the papers and take in the recent headlines and suddenly it hits you like a dominatrix spanks her evangelical preacher in the hot fetish dungeon of cosmic irony: The stuff you've done? That horrible little army of things you think are so dire and awful and mean? Child's play. Trifles. Piddly little nothingness of who-the-hell-cares, barely registering on the Richter scale of pain and injustice and true human misprision.
Because now perhaps you are reading up on the rise and fall and much-desirable end of this one particular man, this dank, sweaty, adipose embodiment of a sad political caricature, this shockingly powerful force of darkness and cruelty and pure, unfiltered iniquity known to the world as Karl Rove.
From there the hebephrenic rant actually goes downhill. Rove is accused of all manner of absurd misdeeds, including being a homophobe, believing in good and evil, gutting the US treasury, staining the Department of Homeland Security with his "devious perfidy," attempting "to create a totalitarian GOP regime," being the "quotient of pure, clear vileness," etc.
As usual when Rove is assailed by a moonbat, there is no reference to any actual misdeed other than the outing of the pencil-pushing Valerie Plame, though it is public knowledge that if anyone outed this non-secret agent, it was Richard Armitage.
Just when you think Morford is about to catch himself and step back from the brink of genuine psychosis, he plunges headlong:
But wait, is this perspective a bit too unforgiving? Is this sort of talk, in its own way, just as spiritually corrupt and of equally low, repulsive vibration as Rove's own? Is it, in other words, somehow karmically wrong to see another's choice of sad, destructive path and be so deeply thankful you will never come anywhere near that quotient of pure, clear vileness? Could be, could be.
After all, the reincarnation set will happily inform you that, in truth, we've all been, at one point during the great cosmic continuum, a Karl Rove. We've all been a murderer, a rapist, a thug, a dictator and a witch and a peasant and a queen and a victim and sea slug and a rutabaga and a savior and a minion and a mindless megachurch Christian zealot and yes, even an Olsen twin.
As such, we are all here to learn in the same sort of glorious/tortuous way, and hence in the grand view no one's path is really any different than anyone else's and to judge one is to judge them all and etc. and so forth and oh my God it's all so vast and lovely and true.
But in this case, let us just say, no. Because this is the here and now. This is the moment we are in and this is the one that matters and it is just too delightful to repeat: You are not Karl Rove and I am not Karl Rove and therefore we can join hands right now, you and I, we can connect across this vast media chasm and via these very wires and we can, together, find a deeper understanding, a shared universal truth, a more profound coming together over the fact that, no matter how bad things might get, we will never have to be Karl Rove.
Hey, what's more karmically delightful than that?
More disturbing even than the advanced state of Morford's mental illness is the fact that the mainstream media pays venomous lunatics to vomit this sort of incoherent bile onto the pages of newspapers. Small wonder circulation is down.
For the sake of our cultural hygiene, if not public safety, Morford and his kind should be writing their editorials on padded walls with crayons held between their toes, as they lie on the floor in tightly strapped straightjackets.
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Mark Morford: The SF Comical's conception of an intellectual. |
Posted by Van Helsing at August 20, 2007 6:48 AM
Comments
You just put me off food for a month. Thanks!
Posted by: Pam at August 20, 2007 7:36 AM
This nut is probably suffering from AIDS related dimensia.
Posted by: Anonymous at August 20, 2007 8:18 AM
Like the great Jackie Mason pointed out recently, the sum total of Karl Rove's unspeakable crimes is that he helped G.W.B. win 2 elections. Silly, infantile degenerates like Morford just can't stop immersing themselves in their deranged delusions of America being run by S.S. murderers, simply because the President belongs to "the other party" and stated that Jesus Christ was his main role model. Doesn't take any more than that to bring the cockroaches out of the walls.
Posted by: Toa at August 20, 2007 8:19 AM
Anon, you may not be far off...reading his profile dispels any doubt that he is wide open to any number of S.T.D.s. No surprise there.
Posted by: Toa at August 20, 2007 8:24 AM
When I see a guy that looks like him walk into a public bathroom - I get out in a hurry.
From his writings, I'd say syphilis has fried his already undersized brain to something resembling a charcoal brickette.
Posted by: Jimbo at August 20, 2007 9:05 AM
These people are truly sick individuals.
Whether it was caused by indiscriminately taking one in the ass, causing some unknown disease, or they laid awake at night after the 2000 election thinking the new occupants of the White House would persecute them as bill clinton persecuted conservatives, who knows.
They have no frame of reference, except for the BDS and RDS, which has taken over their minds.
Posted by: Eneils Bailey at August 20, 2007 9:15 AM
"We've all been a murderer, a rapist, a thug, a dictator and a witch and a peasant and a queen and a victim and sea slug and a rutabaga and a savior and a minion and a mindless megachurch Christian zealot and yes, even an Olsen twin."
Personally, I think this guy is stuck at the "rutabaga" stage.
Posted by: Uchuck the Tuchuck at August 20, 2007 9:16 AM
Morford is a second-rate Hunter S. Thompson, who was third-rate.
Posted by: phil at August 20, 2007 1:14 PM
Big surprise, Morford also teaches yoga.
Posted by: Bill Cruchon at August 20, 2007 1:43 PM
Simply enjoy all of Morford's dreck as self-parody. All I ever feel when reading it is amusement.
Posted by: cab404 at August 20, 2007 1:53 PM
You guys got this slug down to a tee. Can't envision anyone with a triple-digit IQ taking seriously any philosophic drivel this toe-nail chewing hippie excretes. On the other hand, am impressed that he didn't mention the "concentration camps in the US sanctioned by Bush" theory that's been circulating around the net. Guess Rove can't be held responsible for all the horrific misdeeds of this administration eh?
Posted by: fellowes at August 20, 2007 9:16 PM
This guy makes my skin crawl. Usually, in the comment section of SFGate, you find people defending him, saying "it's obviously satire and he's just doing it to get a rise out of you." I'd like to believe that. But Morford actually does believe what he preaches, and takes enormous pride in celebrating the most sickening aspects of a sick culture. I think the commenter who said he's suffering from AIDS related demensia is probably right.
Posted by: David K at August 20, 2007 11:55 PM
So- what's his problem with the Olsen twins?
Posted by: Paul Moore at August 23, 2007 3:52 AM
