« Chicago Bids to Become Gay Mecca | Main | The Cluelessness of Cameron Diaz »
June 24, 2007
Rights For Spiders
This ought to make Peter Parker's day: spiders may soon have rights.
So would squid, crayfish, shrimp, and even restaurant lobsters under new animal welfare plans under consideration by Britain's bloated bureaucracy. The Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs is debating the weighty issue of whether invertebrates should have rights. When this debate comes to America, John Kerry may finally be motivated to take an unwavering stand on something.
For now, invertebrates would have to be kept in captivity to qualify, so we have not quite reached the point of it being illegal to step on a cockroach. But then, Madagascar cockroaches can be found in pet shops, so they might be protected. We won't know for sure until someone is arrested for oppressing one.
Creatures protected under the Animal Welfare Act must be fed a proper diet, housed properly, have "the ability to express normal behavior," and be protected from pain, injury, and disease — or the government will make sure humans suffer the consequences.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals has already demanded that that laws be extended to protect all "sentient" animals. This apparently includes bugs.

Posted by Van Helsing at June 24, 2007 11:09 AM
Comments
Creatures protected under the Animal Welfare Act must be fed a proper diet, housed properly, have "the ability to express normal behavior," and be protected from pain, injury, and disease — or the government will make sure humans suffer the consequences.
One of the main problems I see with this law is that in the invertabrate world, the strong often eat the weak, even with the same species. If one lobster in a tank eats another, is it enjoying 'the ability to express normal behavior', or is its victim being denied the right to 'be protected from pain, injury, and disease'?
Either way, the proprietor of the fish store is going to be charged for allowing normal homarid behavior.
Posted by: James F McEnanly at June 24, 2007 4:24 PM
Liberals protecting their own.
Posted by: Darth Bacon at June 25, 2007 3:11 AM
Amazing, simply amazing. These people really are insane.
Posted by: William Teach at June 25, 2007 8:11 AM
Hey, I'm even more avant garde, and I'm not even in Hollywood. Who wants to join my "Bacteria Have Rights Too" campaign? A few charity concerts, a couple of celebrity endorsements, mobilize the MSM, and we're away!
Our slogan: "Gargling is genocide!"
Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 25, 2007 9:43 AM
I'll join, Jay! "Baths are murder!"
Posted by: KHarn at June 25, 2007 11:48 AM

