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April 26, 2007
The High Cost of Easily Accessible Beans
It is common knowledge that beans cause the dreadful phenomenon known as flatulence, a major contributor to the global warming that will soon embroil us all in a sweaty apocalypse. Nonetheless, beans are readily available to anyone who wants to purchase them, despite the absence of explicit Constitutional protection as we have for firearms. So far as I know, beans are not even regulated.
Now we see the consequences:
The picture is of movie star Hugh Grant, assaulting a photographer with a tub of baked beans. Grant was subsequently arrested.
It's time for us to ask ourselves: would this incident have occurred if beans were subject to prudent federal regulation?
Posted by Van Helsing at April 26, 2007 2:21 PM
Comments
Crud, why is a photographer following this washed-up has-been around? I had forgotten all about him until this post. Throwing that tub of legumes might have drained him of whatever talent he had remaining.
Posted by: skh.pcola at April 26, 2007 5:17 PM
"They'll take my beans away when they pry them from my cold dead fingers."
"Beans don't kill people, people kill people."
"Defend your right to keep and bear beans."
"God, Beans, and Guts Made America Great."
"Driver carries $20 worth of beans."
"Bean Control means being able to hit the target."
Posted by: Joseph T Major at April 26, 2007 5:19 PM
This has to be one of the best posts ever. I hope I soon see a parade of global warming activists demanding the regulation of beans.
Posted by: Anonymous at April 26, 2007 7:17 PM
safer bean laws.
Posted by: nanc at April 26, 2007 8:05 PM
Whilst I find hugh grant fairly appalling, I can't say I find much sympathy with the photographer either. The kind that stalk these poor washed up has-beans (or has-beens?) are the worst sort of invasive, uncaring, unprincipled... basically moonbats with cameras. We should lock them all up in a big dome with all the actors and a pile of unconventional weapons and let them duke it out. Then, when the survivors emerge victorious, we will shoot them.
Posted by: Archonix at April 27, 2007 1:14 AM
Between Van's article and these comments, this is one of the best laughs I've had all week- Thanks!
Posted by: Toa at April 27, 2007 7:53 AM
Peace people
We love you
Posted by: HelloWorld at May 2, 2007 2:28 AM
