April 3, 2007
Even Trees Cause Global Warming
Posted by Dave Blount at April 3, 2007 9:06 AM
By now you've probably noticed that everything humans and even animals do causes global warming. But it turns out that trees cause global warming too.
True, trees absorb the suddenly poisonous substance CO2. But their leaves also soak up sunlight, which is later released as heat. According to Stanford University atmospheric scientist Ken Caldeira:
Forests do store carbon, and as a result, the planet initially cools a little — maybe tenths of degrees. But over the long term, trees' heat absorption warms things up more.
Caldeira and colleagues created a computer simulation indicating that if most land areas in northern latitudes were covered with forests, the planet would be 6° warmer. This means that the token trees being planted as part of carbon offset swindles might later be cut down as part of future carbon offset swindles.
But then, computer models can be used to prove pretty much anything where climate is concerned. No doubt a capable scientist could prove it will snow in Egypt tomorrow if there were a government grant in it for him. The point once again is that scientists don't really know what causes climate fluctuation.
If you have trees in your yard, enjoy them while you can. The Supreme Court may issue a ruling against them at any moment.
On a tip from General Jack D. Ripper.