« February 2007 | Main | April 2007 »
March 31, 2007
Moonbats After Chief Wahoo's Scalp
Major League Baseball will precede the 2007 season by pandering to political correctness with the inaugural Civil Rights Game in Memphis, home of the National Civil Rights Museum. Jackie Robinson will be obsessed upon in an effort to prove what racists we are for having grandparents who watched him play for the Brooklyn Dodgers back in 1947. Also honored will be the race-baiting lunatic Spike Lee, who has been screaming at anyone who will listen that George Bush blew up the levees to be mean to New Orleans' black people.
But a politically incorrect cloud will hang above the guilt fest. The St. Louis Cardinals are playing the Cleveland Indians, whose logo features Chief Wahoo, hated by moonbats for reasons only a moonbat could explain:
Regardless of color, race, ethnic identity or political philosophy, any objective view of Wahoo must concede: It is a demeaning stereotype — the smiling, drunken fool so eager to please his racially insensitive white fans. […] Chief Wahoo […] is beyond the pale. It is so deliberately and flagrantly racist that it cannot hide behind the typical excuse that some Native Americans are not offended.
It's not true that liberals have no moral system. It's just that their moral system is so depraved as to be incomprehensible to a sensible person. There's nothing wrong with killing your own baby, siding with terrorists and dictators against your own country, stealing from the productive to finance the shiftless, blaspheming Christianity, or indulging in every sexual perversion imaginable. But this is a moral outrage:
Yet they expect us to take them seriously.
Hat tip: Tongue Tied 3.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:48 AM | Comments (9)
Italian Becomes National Language of Italy: Moonbats Outraged
Italian is now the official language of Italy, despite the objections of 75 members of parliament who voted against establishing the language in the country's constitution because they disapprove of such cultural imperialism.
Federico Bricolo screeched that his language is Venetian, not Italian. But they cut his mike because he screeched it in Venetian, and only Italian is allowed before parliament.
Franco Russo of Italy's Communist party whined about Benito Mussolini's attempts to Italianize the country by force.
The change to the constitution is purely symbolic, but any European attempt to reassert cultural identity in the face of Islamic imperialism and suffocating moonbattery is welcome.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:19 AM | Comments (3)
March 30, 2007
EU to Fight Islamic Terror by Refusing to Acknowledge It
The European Union is finally getting serious about Muslim terrorism. It has drawn up new guidelines assuring that it will no longer exist — because bureaucrats will no longer acknowledge it.
"Non-offensive" euphemisms will be used instead. Words to be avoided in the context of Muslim terror attacks include "jihad," "Islamic," and "fundamentalist."
Instead of saying "Islamic terrorism," dhimmified bureauweenies are supposed to bleat out the absurd term "terrorists who abusively invoke Islam."
Imagine if we had fought Nazis by referring to them as "enemy soldiers who abusively invoke fascism." At least it would have spared Europe from the Muslim conquest that is now well underway.
Hat tip: LGF.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:53 AM | Comments (8)
The Debate Is Over
The Goracle has announced that the debate on global warming is over, and that everyone agrees with him. But as Doug Patton points out, two can play this game.
Why not declare that the debate is over and that everyone knows babies are babies even before they are born? That marriage can only be between a man and a woman? That an armed citizenry is more secure? That government spends too much? That taxes are too high? That education can't be entrusted to bureaucrats? That child molesters ought to be prevented from repeating their crimes? That illegal aliens need to leave? That terrorist Islam must be defeated? That murderers deserve to die?
Patton sums up nicely with this:
Oh yes, and outside Hollywood and the ranks of adoring Democrats in the United States Congress, who look at him as a rock star, there is no longer any serious debate over the basic points that make up the consensus on Al Gore. He is an enviro-fascist hypocrite who lives in a Tennessee mansion that uses 30 times the energy of the average American home, yet he has taken it upon himself to lead a worldwide wacko movement that wants to force us to radically alter our way of life in the pursuit of zealous extremism to achieve dubious results in addressing a problem that may not even exist.
The debate is over.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:17 AM | Comments (1)
John Travolta, Owner of Five Jets, Lectures Us on Global Warming
When it comes to the global warming hoax, the hypocrisy of moonbats knows no bounds. Check out movie star John Travolta's driveway:
He owns five jets and his own private runway. In the past year he's flown at least 30,000 miles, producing 800 tons of carbon emissions — about 100 times that of an average citizen.
At least that means we won't have to listen to him preach about how we peasants should get around by bicycle for the sake of the polar bears, right? Wrong. At the British premier of his new movie Wild Hogs, he tooled down the red carpet on a Harley-Davidson to announce:
It [global warming] is a very valid issue. I'm wondering if we need to think about other planets and dome cities. Everyone can do their bit. But I don't know if it's not too late already. We have to think about alternative methods of fuel.
If only we could send Tinseltown's environmental evangelists out to find those other planets. I wouldn't be surprised if Travolta has a spaceship somewhere on his estate that could take the whole bunch.
On a tip from nanc.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:37 AM | Comments (12)
9/11 Conspiracy Theories Reach the Mainstream
Compliments of the irresponsible jackasses running ABC, here is the deranged moonbat Rosie O'Donnell explaining to housewives across the country that one of the buildings at the World Trade Center was brought down in a controlled demolition as part of a conspiracy:
Though she doesn't say so here, Tokyo Rosie wants people to believe that the point was to destroy records on behalf of evil capitalists.
As the culture presented to us as our own by our television sets continues to deteriorate, no doubt we can look forward to revelations that Bush Sr. kidnapped the Lindbergh baby and it was Ronald Reagan on that grassy knoll in Dallas.
On a tip from WatchingRosie.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:57 AM | Comments (6)
March 29, 2007
Chocolate Jesus
Cosimo Cavallaro has joined the list of artists to promote themselves by passing off anti-Christian blasphemy as art.
Previously Cavallaro's most famous work was the act of coating a NYC hotel room in melted mozzarella. But he's moved on to more sophisticated pranks with "My Sweet Lord," a life-sized anatomically correct statue of Jesus Christ made from 200 pounds of chocolate.
Other works in this genre include Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" (a photo of a crucifix soaking in urine) and Chris Ofili's "Holy Virgin Mary" (a crude painting meant to represent the Virgin Mary, covered with elephant feces and genitals cut out of porno magazines).
Daring, aren't they? Now let's see a naked chocolate Mohammad.
On a tip from Bill V.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:32 PM | Comments (11)
Hollyweird Whacko Danny Glover For Mayor of San Francisco
Is it still possible for San Franfreakshow to plunge even deeper into moonbattery? The surprising answer is yes: by electing zillionaire movie star and ultra-left nutcase Danny Glover as mayor.
A few highlights from Glover's stellar career in moonbattery:
- Shortly after 9/11, announced that we are in no position to pass judgment on terrorists, because America is "one of the main purveyors of violence in this world."
- Denounced post-9/11 displays of patriotism: "It's basically this rabid [post-9/11] nationalism that has its own kind of potential of being maniacal, in some sense."
- Accused President Bush of being a racist and his administration of being composed of "liars and murderers."
- Pledged support for the communist dictatorship in Cuba.
- Supports the Maoist fanatics of Not In Our Name.
- Lavished praise upon the commies at Monthly Review.
- Publicly denounced Ronald Reagan immediately after learning of his death.
Other bullet points on Glover's resume have been noted here earlier:
- Assaulted a photographer.
- Participated in sham hunger strike to undermine American war effort.
- Endorsed Darryl Hannah's absurd crusade against property rights.
- Supported violent psycho Cynthia McKinney against the Capitol Police officer she assaulted.
- Raised funds for the hebephrenic anti-Americans at Pacifica Radio.
- Took part in moonbat delegation paying homage to the hostile regime of Hugo Chavez.
Oh, and he has:
- Campaigned to get cab drivers killed out of race-obsessed petulance.
- Publicly indulged in a passionate homosexual smooch with motor-mouthed America-hater Harry Belafonte.
San Franfreakshow has found its man!
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:19 AM | Comments (9)
David Hicks Confesses, Moonbats Don't Care
Aussie terrorist David Hicks, a Club Gitmo vacationer who converted to Islam and joined al-Qaeda, has confessed to crimes against civilization. But that won't cost him the love of the lunatic Left. A few choice quotations can be found in this extract from a piece by Andrew Bolt:
From the International Commission of Jurists' Glenn McGowan: "Who amongst us would not consider, in his shoes, pleading guilty just to escape a hellhole?"
From Liberty Victoria's Brian Walters: "After five years in shocking conditions … any ray of light showing a way out would be taken, and it has been."
From The Age: "Desperation drives the deal."
And from Greens leader Bob Brown: "His guilty plea is simply a plea for release for exit from the inhumane Guantanamo Bay gulag."
It is typical of the often hysterical excuses made for Hicks, and laced with anti-Americanism, that Brown equates Guantanamo Bay with the Soviet Union's gulag — equates the imprisonment of some 400 accused terrorists, many caught on the battlefield, with the imprisonment of 18 million civilians in conditions so brutal that a million or more died.
So routine is this kind of exaggeration that even ABC reporters told of their surprise this week at seeing Hicks at his hearing looking fat, healthy, tanned and jokey, after all, rather than gaunt, pale and crushed.
Bolt notes that when Hicks joined al-Qaeda in January 2001, the terrorist franchise had already publicly demanded "all Muslims able to do so to kill Americans — whether civilian or military." As he was in training with al-Qaeda, Hicks told his family he was a "practical soldier," training for martyrdom. His hope was to help see to it that "Western-Jewish domination is finished, so we live under Muslim rule again." As his own father was forced to admit:
He's a terrorist in our eyes and he's fighting against his own.
Naturally moonbats righteously take his side as they coo over the inconveniences that he may have suffered at luxurious Club Gitmo.
At least we have a simple and reliable means to distinguish friend from foe. Moonbats will invariably side with the latter.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:29 AM
Berkeley Blogger Wants to Embed With US Troops
Sean Penn's title as the most absurd "journalist" ever to venture to the Middle East is in serious jeopardy. Berkeley caricature Jane Stillwater is on her way to Iraq to embed with the US military as a blogger.
In case our troops are too busy to baby-sit stray geriatric hippies, Swillwater has alternate plans: she'll sleep on the beach in Kuwait for three weeks while she waits for her flight home.
The intrepid journalist isn't bringing a laptop; she'll just transmit her stories from Internet cafes. She also doesn't figure she'll need a translator:
I've been all over the world, and you always find people who speak English.
Dressing like a bag lady in clothes she finds discarded on the street, Bongwater managed to save money for her ticket by eating nothing but peanut butter sandwiches. She has had children with four different men without ever getting married.
Past Stillwater stunts include traveling to DC on the Fourth of July to serve President Bush with an eviction notice. The San Franfreakshow Comical thinks she's great.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:36 AM | Comments (6)
Jamestown: Celebrate, Don't "Commemorate"
The disease known as moonbattery has so twisted us against ourselves that we can no longer look back on our own proud history without neurotic shame. Alternative festivities have had to be planned to celebrate the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown settlement this year, because official events will portray the spread of Western Civilization to North America as a tragedy.
The word "celebration" has been banned from use in taxpayer-funded Jamestown 2007 events in favor of the term "commemoration." After all, as anti-Caucasian activist Mary Wade screeches, "You can't celebrate an invasion."
Exhibition galleries will glorify the Stone Age barbarians who preceded the colonists to Virginia, characterizing them as avatars of political correctness whose "advanced complex society" was "in harmony with the life that surrounds them." Actually, these saintly savages murdered 400 colonists — men, women, and children — during the Jamestown Massacre on Good Friday in 1622.
Exhibitions will also include an African queen who fought the Portuguese in what is now Angola. What this has to do with the birth of America is anyone's guess. The first African slave didn't show up in Jamestown until 1654 — and he was owned by another African.
As Chuck Norris notes, the extent to which the Jamestown settlement was a Christian mission will be forcibly downplayed. The countless benefits of the dissemination of English culture will be ignored.
Fortunately an alternative event called The Jamestown Quadricentennial: A Celebration of America's Providential History will be taking place in the Jamestown/Williamsburg/Yorktown triangle on June 11–16. If we let moonbats take our history, it will be all the easier for them to take our future.
On a tip from Chris.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:48 AM | Comments (5)
March 28, 2007
Moonbats Delighted With Tony Snow's Cancer
News that Tony Snow's cancer has returned was received with great sadness by the civilized world — and with venomous glee by moonbats. Here are some examples of comments on the topic at the liberal Wonkette:
Under the heading of 'What goes around comes around', the cancer in Tony Snow is removing the cancer of Tony Snow from the national scene.
Dear Tony, I hate you. -God
Let's see him spin this one away.
Jesus Christ!--is there NOTHING on earth the Bush flacks won't use for political gain?
The best (or worst) thing about Instant Karma is that it works.
Tell The Lying Sack of Crap To Suck It Up and Live With It
Look, this as*hole Snow, even though in a VERY small way, lied and helped keep this idiot fu**ing war going. […] Why waste a moment on the fate of Tony Snow or his colon/cancer?
Not all of Wonkette's readers are drunk on hatred. Here's a voice of reason:
May God bless Tony Snow and his family. Tony, I am praying for your full recovery. May God also bless those of you who have posted here without compassion. I am praying for your recovery as well.
But soon others come back with remarks like this:
Yes, the Holier Than Thou crowd is right. We should wish Tony, W, Cheney and Gonzales nothing but the best of health, so that we can then waterboard the shit out of them until they tell us the truth about, well, anything would be nice.
Funny, I don't recall any conservatives reacting like this when Elizabeth Edwards' cancer returned.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:27 PM | Comments (18)
Botched Joke's Revenge
John "Botched Joke" Kerry's run for the presidency managed to scare the pants off people who care about this country, but fortunately floundered — in part due to the efforts of the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, who revealed the absurdity of his attempts to pass himself off as a war hero. Now, with his political career in a tailspin after he insulted the American military once too many times, Kerry has managed to exact some petty revenge.
President Bush was compelled to withdraw the nomination of Sam Fox for ambassador to Belgium after Kerry made a monstrous stink out of Fox's 2004 contribution to the Swift Boat Vets, rallying a lynch mob of fellow Dems behind him.
An embittered Hanoi John assailed Fox during confirmation hearings, demanding to know why he would give money to a group that was supposedly "smearing and spreading lies" about him. Fox refused to apologize for his noble contribution, further infuriating Botched Joke, who is now triumphantly droning:
Sam Fox had every opportunity to disavow the politics of personal destruction and to embrace the truth. He chose not to. The White House made the right decision to withdraw the nomination.
Normally political contributions do not result in this sort of cheap retribution, but today's Dems are constantly searching out new lows. No doubt their friends in the media will enforce the usual double standard if Republicans ever respond in kind.
On a tip from Byron.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:44 PM | Comments (1)
Getting Desperate
Endorsements don't come cheap these days. Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack has announced he will endorse Shrillary Rotten for President. For its part, the Clinton campaign has promised to help pay off the $400,000 debt Milksac ran up during his own foolish quest for the presidency, which fell quickly and quietly onto its face.
Shrillary's people say there is no connection between the endorsement and the promise, indicating the level of honesty we can expect to return to the White House if Clintons are again allowed to infest it.
On a tip from Bill V.
Posted by Van Helsing at 4:41 PM | Comments (7)
Deceitful Troll Hounded Cathy Seipp on Her Deathbed
As conservative columnist, blogger, and media critic Cathy Seipp lay on her deathbed, hours away from losing her long fight with cancer at age 49, a strange letter appeared on the website www.cathyseipp.com, supposedly written by Seipp herself. As described by Fox News:
In what came off as more bizarre rant than heartfelt apology, her supposed "very last blog entry" called her years of journalism a "shoddy," "despicable" and "irresponsible" career as a "fourth-rate hack." Her political stance? All a mistake.
The fiery, unwavering supporter of George W. Bush supposedly said she'd done a complete 180 in the past year and was now an implied supporter of Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y. What was even more perplexing was that "Seipp" was taking mean-spirited potshots at her own daughter, Maia Lazar, whom she called an "obnoxious" and "arrogant" wanna-be "skank" who was "mentally ill." Throughout the letter, the one person whom "Seipp" seemed most sorry for ever having offended was Maia's 10th-grade journalism teacher, who had frequently clashed with mother and daughter. Finally, "Seipp" said she was probably to blame for her own illness — the "venom" she'd spewed for years was responsible for her terminal cancer.
The actual author was a cyberstalking troll by the name of Eliot Stein, a former online talk-show host and stand-up comic who briefly taught Seipp's daughter in a journalism class. The obsessive bitterness often characteristic of moonbats motivated him to register the domain name www.cathyseipp.com (Seipp's real site is www.cathyseipp.net). Stein's phony site has at last been taken down.
Fortunately Seipp had no knowledge of what Stein had just posted in her name when she passed away.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:31 AM | Comments (8)
Cute Knut's Persecution Continues
Moonbat demands for the death of Cute Knut have been denied. But the cuddly polar bear cub's persecution continues; now he's been falsely accused in the death of a 22-year-old panda.
From Spiegel Online:
Berlin Zoo's delight over its superstar Knut has been tempered by the sudden death of lady Panda Yan Yan — long one of its major attractions. Her passing initially triggered speculation that the attention surrounding the baby polar bear was too much for her. But vets said she died of constipation.
In the sort of coincidence MSM reporters might characterize as "eerie," Yan Yan means "The Cute One."
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:40 AM | Comments (7)
March 27, 2007
Rosie O'Donnell Sides With Iran Against Kidnapped Brits
It can't be easy for Rosie O'Donnell to constantly come up with remarks still more demented, moronic, and vile than anything she's ever bellowed before. Yet she manages.
Here's Rosie's take on Iran's latest outrageous provocation:
But interesting with the British sailors, there were 15 British sailors and Marines who apparently went into Iranian waters and they were seized by the Iranians. And I have one thing to say: Gulf of Tonkin, Google it. Okay.
By this she means that the kidnapping by Iran of 15 British military personnel is as fake as the atrocities of 9/11. Apparently it was all staged to give us an excuse to oppress the poor ayatollahs, who no doubt are as innocent and peace-loving as her heartthrob Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
Even France, by the way, admits the Brits were not in Iranian waters.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:26 PM | Comments (5)
9/11 Hijackers Still Alive Per Taxachusetts Governor Deval Patrick's Website
Luxury-loving Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick is drinking some very high-octane Kool-Aid, to judge from his website:
9/11 is being used to justify war after war and the coming state of martial law in America. 9/11 was clearly a fraud conducted by members of our own government in an effort to take over the world. Much like Operation Northwood’s, in 1962, 9/11 was scripted by a group within our government to create fear and allow for a doctrine of preemptive war against nations that are geostrategically important to our imperialistic desires.
One reason we know 9/11 was inside job is because:
Hijackers alive post 9/11. At least 7 of the "hijackers" have been interviewed by major news networks.
Unfortunately your television can only receive these major news networks if you attach the antenna to your tinfoil hat.
On tips from V the K and Bernie.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:56 PM | Comments (9)
The Trees Are Alive With Naked Moonbats
The University of California plans to build a new athletic facility on the edge of the Berkeley campus. This will require removing several oak trees. Moonbats are not pleased.
A campaign to rescue the trees from human incursion into their urban habitat entails moonbats actually living in the trees, as we would all go back to doing if environmentalists had their way.
Cleverly exploiting the moonbats to generate some publicity, local art photographer Jack Gescheidt issued a call for volunteers to pose naked in the trees. Zombie ventured into Berserkeley's carnival of moonbattery to take some pictures of his own. A couple of samples:
Warning: Zombie's complete collection is uncensored and not for the squeamish.
On a tip from Bill V.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:26 AM | Comments (10)
Gray Lady Sings the Praises of Castration
The New York Times has lent its megaphone to Dalhousie University professor Richard Wassersug, who compares himself to a Biblical angel after having undergone chemical castration in the course of prostate cancer treatment. A few excerpts:
God is thought to surround himself with angels as advisers and emissaries, who are identical in appearance to males castrated before puberty: tall, beardless, nonsexual beings with voices like the legendary castrati. […]
When I was stoked up on testosterone in the old days, for example, I would obsess about exacting revenge on those who offended me. Now I see the foolishness in such macho fury. […]
I don't recall crying much as an adult, but since my castration I'll weep while watching Mothers Against Drunk Driving commercials. […] I've become more sensitive to the trials and tribulations of others. I am thus no longer embarrassed by my tears. I consider them humanizing, just as they are for angels. The link to my chemical castration is obvious; testosterone fuels aggression but suppresses empathy and the ability to cry. […]
Singing in a group never appealed to me before my castration, because it offered little opportunity for individual advancement. But recently I joined a choir, where I now enjoy the richness of the collective sound born of collaboration — and how much I've gained by accepting how much I've changed.
Maybe moonbats could put something in the water to make us all into eunuchs. Of course then we couldn't reproduce — but so much the better for Gaia.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:03 AM | Comments (8)
Leftist Lawyer Dan Kovalik Uses Archaic Statute to Harass US Companies
Left-wing lawyer Dan Kovalik is using an 18th century statute meant to target pirates to sue American companies for the chaos taking place in backwards parts of the world.
The Alien Tort Claims Act of 1789 wasn't used for over 200 years until moonbats discovered they could exploit it to shake down US companies operating overseas. It allows foreign residents to file suits in American courts for injuries suffered "in violation of the law of nations or a treaty of the United States."
Kovalik is employing it to punish the Drummond mining company for the violence that is endemic in Colombia. To its credit, Drummond is standing firm and will not offer a settlement, as it asserts it has had nothing whatsoever to do with the violence. Regardless of the company's innocence, this takes some backbone, because a trial will doubtlessly generate bad publicity. However, the alternative is to pay off moonbats who will only return with more lawsuits when they've found a way to make easy money by putting the screws to the corporations they so hate.
John Murphy, vice president for international affairs at the US Chamber of Commerce, had this to say about Kovalik's activities:
The framers of the Constitution would shudder at the thought that the Alien Tort Claims Act is being used to hit up U.S. companies for events that have happened in foreign countries that are completely outside their ability to influence. […] This is the most creative kind of lawyering that we've ever seen.
Douglas Branson, a law professor at the University of Pittsburgh, characterizes the Act as the exclusive province of "hippies who wear bandannas and Levis." That accurately describes Kovalik, who plays his guitar in Pittsburgh's Market Square and considers himself to be harassing employers like Drummond "on behalf of working people."
On a tip from General Jack D. Ripper.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:38 AM | Comments (3)
William Arkin: Call Off War on Terror
You might recall William Arkin, the insufferable WaPo/NBC propagandist who had this to sneer about American troops:
Through every Abu Ghraib and Haditha, through every rape and murder, the American public has indulged those in uniform […]
So, we pay the soldiers a decent wage, take care of their families, provide them with housing and medical care and vast social support systems and ship obscene amenities into the war zone for them, we support them in every possible way, and their attitude is that we should in addition roll over and play dead, defer to the military and the generals and let them fight their war, and give up our rights and responsibilities to speak up because they are above society?
Now he wants us to call off the war — not just the war in Iraq but the whole War on Terror. An aimless ramble through his paranoid notions, during which he refers to the Vice President as "Darth Cheney," concludes with this:
Beyond fear, beyond Iraq, and beyond this administration, we are still going to be faced with the question as to how to "fight," that is, how to counter, those who would do us harm.
I say it is through ending the war and returning to a far quieter process of intelligence vigilance and law enforcement. […] [T]he war description isn't quite right because the struggle isn't fundamentally a war and nor should it be approached that way.
No one should be yearning to "return" to the good old days of a 2001 counter-terror effort. Too much has changed and the shoot-'em-up and kill them one terrorist at a time has been proven fruitless. But all that fear has done a pretty good job of ensuring that no one is really allowed to question the basic endeavor.
There's no need to kill terrorists when we can rely on vigilance and law enforcement. If the next plane Muslims crash into a skyscraper has a nuclear bomb on board, we'll just take note of the occurrence and arrest the perpetrators. Too bad Arkin wasn't around during WWII; he could have told us to arrest Hitler and Tojo and be spared the trouble of fighting a war.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:50 AM | Comments (4)
As in Zimbabwe, So in Venezuela
Potentially wealthy Zimbabwe has been reduced to a miserable hand-to-mouth existence by socialist thug Robert Mugabe, who has destroyed the economy by stealing property from its rightful owners and redistributing it on a political basis. Now Hugo Chavez is steering Venezuela along the same path.
Chavez's latest assault on the property rights that make all other rights possible is a plan for creating more "collective property" — i.e., property appropriated from its rightful owners by his increasingly totalitarian regime.
The results will be more of the same. Chavez's ham-fisted authoritarianism has already created serious shortages of basic food staples like meat, milk and sugar. But his supporters will be pleased to note that capitalists aren't making any profits.
On a tip from Brooklyn Red Leg.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:11 AM | Comments (6)
Shrillary Panders to Militant Homosexual Agenda
An increasingly desperate Shrillary Rotten has come a-crawling to the country's largest homosexual activist group, the Human Rights Campaign, promising them the world if they help elect her Empress.
Although Shrillary's official position has been against gay "marriage," she is also opposed to a constitutional amendment preventing it. More disturbingly, she supports gay adoption, which would allow the gay community to indulge its pederastic tendencies by acquiring underage sex slaves.
She also promised to extend hate crimes legislation so that gays become a little more equal than the rest of us before the eyes of the law. As for the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy, that would be history — regardless of the effect on morale of gays flaunting their perversions in the armed forces.
On a tip from nanc.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:53 AM | Comments (5)
March 26, 2007
Milking Moonbats
The global warming hoax may make the poor poorer, but Prince Albert and his coconspirator Maurice Strong aren't the only ones exploiting it to turn a tidy profit. Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist in Santa Fe, reportedly milks 40 to 80 moonbats with eco-anxiety per month.
Eco-anxiety is the neurotic state that results from taking the relentless barrage of global warming propaganda seriously. Symptoms include panic attacks, poor appetite, irritability, bouts of weakness, sleeplessness, and a sensation that the cells in your body are twitching. For a fee, Pickett can cure these symptoms by telling patients to carry around natural objects, such as certain minerals.
On tips from Bill V. and V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:58 PM | Comments (5)
Tim Yeo Enters Eco-Hypocrite Sweepstakes
Remember Tim Yeo, the British MP who wants to abolish domestic air travel for all but the ultrarich to save us from global warming? He's in the news again:
Tory MP Tim Yeo has surely been the victim of a cruel practical joke. Yeo, a former environment minister, is well known for his campaign against climate change. He wants domestic flights to be scrapped and his website boasts of his commitment to the planet. Yet what do we find in the latest Bentley magazine? Somebody calling themselves Tim Yeo, MP for South Suffolk, has been test driving the Bentley Continental Flying Spur. He sinks into the warm embrace of its leather seats and takes it on a golfing jolly. The Bentley does about 16mpg and has carbon emissions that rival those of a jumbo jet. Surely the real Tim Yeo would have mentioned this?
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:17 PM
British Diplomat Craig Murray Sides With Iran
At least moonbats are reliable: you can always count on them to side with the enemy. This tendency is particularly pronounced in diplomatic bureauweenies, like former British Ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray — who has come down firmly on the side of the hostile Iranian regime that has kidnapped 15 British marines.
Here's how Murray excuses the ayatollahs' bad behavior:
For the Royal Navy, to be interdicting shipping within the twelve mile limit of territorial seas in a region they know full well is subject to maritime boundary dispute, is unnecessarily provocative.
Murray used to head the Foreign Offices maritime section, which carries out negotiations on the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea. My guess is that the UK did not come out on top in these negotiations. Imagine going to court with your own lawyer on the other guy's side. Also on his resume is a stint as head of Britain's Embargo Surveillance Centre, which watched as Saddam made a mockery of sanctions.
Murray further opined:
The Iranians can feel content that they have demonstrated the ability to exercise effective sovereignty over the waters they claim.
If Murray isn't on the terrorist mullahs' payroll, he ought to be.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:02 PM | Comments (4)
Sean Penn Denounces the Moisture of America's Blood-Soaked Underwear
Over the weekend, actor/clown Sean Penn teamed up with leftist Rep. Barbara Lee to demand immediate surrender to the terrorists we have chosen to fight in Iraq rather than Manhattan. Even on Lee's home turf — the extremely moonbat-friendly Oakland — attendance was light. Too bad, because Penn really had his rhetoric in overdrive. Check out this nugget of Pig Penn's eloquence:
We cower as you point your fingers telling us to support our troops — well, you and the smarmy pundits in your pocket — those who bathe in the moisture of your blood-soaked underwear can take that noise and shove it, because we will be snowed no more. […] Let's fight this president and put him in (expletive) jail.
Why isn't this guy doing Shakespeare?
Penn unsurprisingly lives in nearby Marin County, the same festering nest of liberal elite moonbattery that produced Johnny Taliban. In the past, he has repaid the debt he owes the country that made him a zillionaire by going on propaganda junkets to Iraq and Iran, where he sided with our enemies as enthusiastically as Hanoi Jane in North Vietnam.
For her part, the treasonous Lee is one of a handful of Democrats so hostile to their own country that they voted against Pelousy's surrender bill, on the grounds that it would provide money to the troops fighting on their behalf.
Among the more intelligent of those in attendance was a dog named Ellie, who wore a cape that read "Pups for Peace" on one side and "Peace Mongrels Against War Mongers" on the other.
On tips from Wiggins and V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:57 AM | Comments (14)
Gaiaist Master Plan
Compliments of V the K, here's an idea of what the USA will look like if envirokooks have their way. The tiny pale blue areas indicate where we will have the right to use our own property:
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:13 AM | Comments (16)
March 25, 2007
John Ashton, Envirocrusading Bureauweenie
Maybe we've been too hard on the Goracle. It's not like he's the only outrageously hypocritical global warming crusader. Consider John Ashton, whose job is to lecture the world about the perils of human activity on behalf of the British government, and whose "carbon footprint" is well over 30 times the national average.
Ashton jets here, there, and everywhere, demanding that other countries reduce their CO2 emissions, lest the planet be engulfed in apocalyptic doom. Since starting work last June, he has logged a staggering 80,000 miles flying to climate-change conferences, where he bloviates with other useless bureauweenies about this imaginary crisis at taxpayers' expense.
Within one year of taking office, Ashton's pointless travels will have added 22.3 tons of dreaded CO2 to the atmosphere. The British average is 0.7 tons per year. Apparently with a straight face, the Foreign Office asserts that Ashton's emissions are okay because they are offset by the department's commitment to become carbon neutral.
Hat tip: Discarded Lies.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:05 AM | Comments (13)
March 24, 2007
Dumber Than a Sixth Grader
Al Gore is not advised to try his luck on the new Fox show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? He doesn't seem to be nearly as smart as the 6th graders at Trail Ridge Middle School in Longmont, Colorado, who put global warming on trial and found it guilty of fraud.
Instead of presenting the kids with Gore's surreal horror film An Inconvenient Truth as if it were factual, paleontology teacher Ken Poppe allowed students to present both sides of the debate while acting as prosecution and defense. By a vote of 7 to 4 the jury confirmed that global warming is part of a natural cycle that is not caused by human activity.
Unfortunately Prince Albert wasn't in attendance. He might have learned something.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 12:08 PM | Comments (20)
Environmentalists Swear Off Toilet Paper
If you have the feeling there is something unclean about moonbats, you might be righter than you know. Manhattan writers Colin Beavan and Michelle Conlin are campaigning to serve Gaia in part by swearing off toilet paper.
Other rules that they are imposing on themselves as part of a publicity stunt they call No Impact include eating only food grown "organically" within 250 miles of Manhattan (although they cheat), shopping as little as possible, using no carbon-fueled transportation, and not throwing anything in the garbage but instead using a composter that stinks up their pricey Fifth Avenue apartment.
It's no longer possible to make fun of environmentalists. All you can do is let them make fun of themselves.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:58 AM | Comments (12)
Protesters Publicly Defecate on American Flag
For moonbats, the worst thing about 9/11 must have been all the flags on display afterwards. Due to years of relentless anti-American propagandizing by the mainstream media, the tide of public opinion has turned — at least to the extent that progressives now feel emboldened to express their true feelings toward Old Glory.
In liberal Portland last weekend, an estimated 15,000 demonstrated against US efforts to defend civilization in Iraq. As noted earlier, some of them burned an American soldier in effigy, as well as an American flag. Now it comes to light that one moonbat dropped his drawers and defecated on the burning American flag, in public, in the presence of women and children. He was rewarded with cheers from the crowd.
Nothing could more perfectly illustrate the culture of moonbattery — the loathsome social disease that is engulfing our civilization, literally immersing it in sewage.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:19 AM | Comments (5)
March 23, 2007
Sharia Comes to Germany
A Muslim woman in Germany being abused by her husband was denied a quick divorce out of dhimmitude.
Judge Christa Datz-Winter opined that the divorce should stay on the slow track because the spouses come from a "Moroccan cultural environment in which it is not uncommon for a man to exert a right of corporal punishment over his wife." She even cited a passage from the Koran indicating that "men are in charge of women."
Germany's Institute for Islamic Questions would like to remind us that not all Muslims beat their wives. Not all of them are terrorists either. It may even be true that not all Muslims want to supplant Western Civilization with their own.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:20 AM | Comments (5)
Moonbat Versus Moonbat
Unable to wait another moment for the USA to surrender to Islamic terrorists in Iraq, four Code Pink militants announced they were going to sack Nancy Pelosi's office. In a suitable response, they were arrested.
Like the spoiled children they resemble in so many ways, the Code Pinkos wept outside Pelosi's office out of "outrage that this is all we can get from the Democrats." This refers to the Iraq supplemental funding bill, which doesn't immediately pull the rug out from under our troops.
Queen of the Code Pinkos Medea Benjamin growled that "now the war belongs to the Democrats as well as the Republicans" — an encouraging sign that if a lunatic like Ralph Nader can be coaxed into running as an independent, votes could be drawn from the Dems' radical Left base.
Hat tip: LGF.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:37 AM | Comments (4)
Ecokooks Torching Cars in Denver
Following the lead of the Muslim barbarians overrunning France, American ecokooks have taken to torching people's cars.
Residents of Denver's normally quiet Cherry Creek district were woken by an explosion early Wednesday morning to see flames rising 15 into the air from the remains of a Hummer H2 parked at the curb in front of its owner's house. The letters ELF were markered onto the ruined vehicle — a calling card from the environmentalist group Earth Liberation Front.
Two other vehicles were torched in Cherry Creek that same night, most likely by ELF terrorists. There have also been tire slashings in the neighborhood.
Underneath the feel-good froth, environmentalism is an antihuman ideology — possibly the most profoundly evil doctrine yet devised. Moderate environmentalists want to cripple human civilization; the true believers want to end it. In light of this fact, ELF's antisocial tactics are hardly surprising.
Hat tip: Slapstick Politics.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:49 AM | Comments (8)
Charlie Sheen Still Wearing His Tinfoil Hat
The task of moonbattery is to eat endlessly away not only at America, at patriotism, at liberty, at capitalism, at Christianity, and at decency, but at sanity itself. In furtherance of this objective, Hollyweird cokehead Charlie Sheen — the guy who manages to be a "scumbag" even by madam Heidi Fleiss's standards — will be narrating a new version of a nutty YouTube documentary called "Loose Change," which advances the bizarre theory that the atrocities of 9/11 were committed by the US government.
In Sheen's case moonbattery runs in the blood. His father Martin Sheen, who appears to be unreachably insane, has been arrested 63 times for making a public nuisance of himself on behalf of left-wing causes.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:12 AM | Comments (6)
March 22, 2007
"Day of Silence" Dissent Silenced
April 18 is an important holiday in our public schools. It's called the "Day of Silence." Students and teachers honor it by being quiet to echo the alleged silent suffering of homosexuals. Kids are encouraged to wear t-shirts and buttons endorsing the homosexual lifestyle.
Silence is also applied to dissent. Last year in the Chicago suburb Naperville, Heidi Zamecnik wore a shirt after the day of silence reading "Be happy, not gay." The authorities were not amused. A school counselor crossed out "not gay" with black marker.
A lawsuit has been filed to uphold Heidi's right to wear a similar shirt the day after this year's "Day of Silence," on the grounds that even people who don't advocate homosexuality have a right to free speech.
This will come as news to Kathleen Sirovy, principal of Oakmont High School in the Sacramento area. When students at her school observed their own "Day of Truth" by wearing shirts that read "Homosexuality is sin. Jesus can set you free," they were given a choice: take off the shirts or get suspended. Sirovy explained that students were "upset" because the shirts were "rude."
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:14 PM | Comments (4)
Interplanetary Warming
The Goracle has been bellowing that "The planet has a fever." If so, it must be awfully contagious. The Martian South Pole's ice cap has been shrinking for several years. Jupiter is getting warmer too, and so is Pluto. As Fred Thompson remarks:
This has led some people, not necessarily scientists, to wonder if Mars and Jupiter, non signatories to the Kyoto Treaty, are actually inhabited by alien SUV-driving industrialists who run their air-conditioning at 60 degrees and refuse to recycle.
Silly, I know, but I wonder what all those planets, dwarf planets and moons in our SOLAR system have in common. Hmmmm. SOLAR system. Hmmmm. Solar? I wonder. Nah, I guess we shouldn't even be talking about this. The science is absolutely decided. There's a consensus.
Ask Galileo.
On a tip from Bergbikr.
Posted by Van Helsing at 1:36 PM | Comments (11)
Comments Fixed
Thanks for your patience.
Posted by Van Helsing at 1:10 PM | Comments (2)
Comments
My apologies: the comments aren't working. I'm looking into it…
Posted by Van Helsing at 12:08 PM
The Pleather Channel
These days liberals politicize even the weather — particularly at the wacky Weather Channel, which has once again plunged headlong into moonbattery.
Pushing politics beyond global warming hype that might at least increase the channel's ratings, meteorologist Jennifer Lopez recently referred to the insufferable Goracle as "former Vice President although we like to refer to him as former President-elect Al Gore."
Readers will recall that Gore lost the 2000 election, a fact unstable minions of the lunatic Left refuse to acknowledge to this day.
Readers will also recall that the Weather Channel's Heidi Cullen wants to play hardball by decertifying meteorologists who have too much integrity to play along with the global warming hoax.
The MSM can make even the weather fake. Just call it the Pleather Channel.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:53 AM | Comments (1)
Moonbat Extracurricular Education
Budding young moonbats don't get all of their indoctrination in publicly funded schools. Some of it takes place outside of the classroom. For example, here we see a young girl watching as the grownups burn an American solider in effigy in progressive Portland, Oregon the other day:
The tyke must have also seen Old Glory go up in flames at this event:
But don't question their patriotism, because they support the troops.
Hat tip: Michelle Malkin.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:26 AM | Comments (5)
March 21, 2007
Joe Barton Lays Waste to the Goracle
Kudos to Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX), who used a hearing before the House Committee on Energy and Commerce as an opportunity to rip Al Gore's hysterical global warming propaganda into tiny bits of confetti. He had this to say to the Goracle:
You just gave us an idea for a straight CO2 freeze, if I heard you correctly. I think that's an idea that's flawed. If you take that literally, we can add no new industry, nor new cars and trucks on our streets, and apparently no new people. People are mobile-source emitters. Every person emits 0.2 tons of CO2 a year, so an absolute true freeze would be no new industry, no new people, and no new cars.
No new industry, no new cars, no new people. That pretty much sums up the environmental agenda. While tearing down the lie that CO2 drives climate change, Barton sums up Gore himself:
Mr. Vice President, you're not just off a little. You're totally wrong.
Barton noted that changes in CO2 levels follow climate changes by hundreds of years rather than preceding them, and that CO2 levels in the past have been many times higher than they are today.
Prince Albert was called to account for some of his groundless predictions, including his outlandish 20-foot rise in sea levels and the discredited notions that global warming will strengthen hurricanes and spread malaria, a disease that is common in frozen Siberia.
As for Gore's radical policy recommendations:
Your suggestion of a carbon tax is a something that would harm our competitiveness, raise costs to American families, export jobs, and actually do very little to improve our environment. Likewise, a Kyoto-style cap-and-trade system for CO2 will mainly increase the price of electricity while providing few, if any, environmental benefits. These proposals, especially considering that neither of them includes large emitters of greenhouse gases such as China and India, fail the common-sense test that any legislation should meet: they provide little benefit at a huge cost.
Of course, from Gore's point of view, crippling environmentalist legislation has one rather large benefit: the victory of stifling bureaucracy over human freedom.
An evil socialist bureaucrat in George Orwell's 1984 exultantly describes the future as "a boot stamping on a human face — forever." If Al Gore et al. have their way, it won't be a boot, but a Birkenstock.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:30 PM | Comments (4)
Moonbats Spread Feces in Army Recruiting Office
Milwaukee moonbats have exhibited their patriotism by attacking an Army recruiting center. Unsurprisingly the bold assault took place around 8 PM, when there would be no one inside.
Moonbats shattered the window and spread human waste around the office, to the proud delight of the Indymedia cesspool. The culprits are suburban brats in their teens and early twenties, some of them possibly revved into overdrive by the hyperbolic propaganda seeping from the UW-Milwaukee campus. At least a few are UWM students; I can only imagine what they've been taught by their professors.
If not even sordid stories like this can destroy our troops' morale, al-Qaeda doesn't have a chance. The thought that they are risking their lives to defend worthless scum that thanks them by spreading feces around recruiting centers has got to take a psychological toll. Fortunately most in the Armed Services seem to be aware that the antiwar Left represents a disease that has infected America; it does not represent America itself.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:48 PM | Comments (2)
Dems Carry On the Copperhead Tradition
To quote the legendary moonbat Karl Marx, history happens twice: "the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce." Tragedy was narrowly avoided when Copperhead Democrats failed to cause the Union to lose the Civil War. The farce is the gang of treasonous boobs who make up the Democrat Party today.
As Mackubin Thomas Owens notes in a review of Jennifer Weber's Copperheads: The Rise and Fall of Lincoln's Opponents in the North:
It is certain that the Union soldiers tired of hearing from the Copperheads that the Rebels could not be defeated. They surely tired of being described by the Copperheads as instruments of a tyrannical administration trampling the legitimate rights of the Southern states. The soldiers seemed to understand fairly quickly that the Copperheads preferred Lincoln's failure to the country's success. They also recognized that the Copperheads offered no viable alternative to Lincoln's policy except to stop the war. Does any of this sound familiar?
It certainly does, and so does this quote from an assistant surgeon in an Iowa regiment:
[I]t is a common saying here that if we are whipped, it will be by Northern votes, not by Southern bullets.
Substitute in "Democrat votes" and "al-Qaeda IEDs" and a soldier might be saying it today. This response from a group of Indiana troops to letters from Copperhead "friends" could be used today pretty much word for word:
Your letter shows you to be a cowardly traitor. No traitor can be my friend; if you cannot renounce your allegiance to the Copperhead scoundrels and own your allegiance to the Government which has always protected you, you are my enemy, and I wish you were in the ranks of my open, avowed, and manly enemies, that I might put a ball through your black heart, and send your soul to the Arch Rebel himself.
You have to give Dems credit for consistency. They tried to cause the Union's defeat. They succeeded in causing our defeat in Vietnam. Here they are at it again in the war against terrorist Islam. At least there's a silver lining. As Owens concludes:
The late nineteenth century Democratic party paid a high price for the influence of the Copperheads during the Civil War, permitting Republicans to "wave the bloody shirt" of rebellion and to vilify the party with the charge of disunion and treason. If its leaders are not careful, today's Democratic party may well pay the same sort of price for the actions of its antiwar base, which is doing its best to continue the Copperhead legacy.
On a tip from Byron.
Posted by Van Helsing at 2:24 PM | Comments (1)
Light Bulbs Targeted For Nationwide Ban
Nothing could be more emblematic of modern technology's wonders than the light bulb, cheaply illuminating the darkness as if by magic — just as nothing could be more emblematic of the environmentalist movement than attempts to ban it for allegedly contributing to global warming.
These attempts will hit the USA at a national level if Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA) has her way. One day after her colleague Rep. Don Manzullo (R-IL) announced that "the last thing we want to do is force legislation down people's throats" concerning lighting options, Harman introduced such legislation, which lists types of light bulbs that it will be illegal to sell. This illustrates the essential difference between an R or a D after a politician's name.
According to Harman, this latest bureaucratic intrusion into our homes could "transform America into an energy-efficient and energy-independent nation." No doubt it will save the polar bears too.
Illustrating why big business often plays along with the global warming hoax, the world's largest producer of light bulbs, Philips Lighting, backs banning traditional incandescent bulbs. This is because it can produce the more expensive compact fluorescent bulbs, which no doubt allow a higher profit margin. Choking off the incandescent market also has the benefit of choking off competitors who can produce nothing else.
Admits Philips Lighting spokesman Steve Goldmacher:
Given the choice of a 25 cent incandescent [bulb] to a $2 or $3 or $5 product … consumers have made that choice already over the years — they choose the more inefficient type […] so here we need to lead them a little by the hand and take those inefficient types off the market.
In this context, "inefficient" means "less expensive."
As usual, those of us on a tight budget suffer from the collusion between nanny state politicians, unscrupulous businessmen, and environmental ideologues. But I'm sure the polar bears will like our newly mandated $5 light bulbs.
On a tip from Jimbo.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:13 AM | Comments (17)
March 20, 2007
What We're Fighting
Just a little reminder of who it is the libs insist we surrender to in Iraq:
Although successful attacks have been down dramatically, terrorists in Iraq managed to get a vehicle rigged with explosives past an American checkpoint in Baghdad by planting two children in the back seat. Seeing the kids, soldiers waved it through.
The car parked next to a market. Then the adults inside jumped out and ran to a safe distance, from which they detonated the vehicle, blowing to bits the children inside as well as three innocent bystanders.
In another tactical development, al-Qaeda has taken to using chlorine bombs to terrorize Iraqi tribal leaders into compliance.
What do you expect? These are the folks who committed the atrocities of 9/11 — the guys progressives compare to our Minutemen — the butchers to whom the Democratic Party believes we should submit.
On a tip from Metalgarth.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:00 PM | Comments (4)
James Hansen, Global Warming Media Whore
Motor-mouthed global warming fanatic James Hansen is fond of bellowing that the government is trying to silence him. So it's surprising to learn that Hansen has treated his gullible media friends to an astounding 1,400 interviews over the last few years while on the job working for NASA.
Hansen attained the position of director of NASA's Goddard Institute of Space Studies before guzzling one too many pitchers of Kool-Aid and losing all rational perspective. If you open the window and listen closely you can probably hear him, wherever he may be, shouting at the top of his lungs that the end is nigh. He was a consultant on the Goracle's infamous propaganda piece A Convenient Lie.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:43 AM | Comments (6)
Pictures From Pelosiland
Once again Zombie has captured the essence of moonbattery by descending into the streets of San Francisco and somehow returning alive to share his photography. Here are samples from a rally that took place Sunday, staged by the Stalinist front group ANSWER in support of demands that the USA surrender to the terrorists we've been fighting in Iraq:
Hat tip: LGF.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:18 AM | Comments (10)
Moonbats March Through Late Snow to Protest Global Warming
Over the weekend, global warming cultists once again displayed their boundless capacity for self-ridicule by beginning a walk across the state of Taxachusetts to draw attention to their imaginary crisis — through snow in late March.
The Long March was organized by left-leaning religious leaders like Rev. Margaret Bullitt-Johns of the Grace Episcopal Church in Amherst, who reports:
It was windy and cold. I was walking on the front of the line and I felt like I was bow of a ship with the wind just coming into my face.
According to Rev. Andrea Ayvazian of the Haydenville Congregational Church, the snow was so deep, it was like breaking trail.
As they marched, the moonbats kept their spirits up by singing "Keep on walking forward, never turning back" — a motto to which global warming alarmists continue to cling, regardless of the mounting evidence that human activity does not have a perceptible effect on the climate.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:00 AM | Comments (1)
Man Sues His Own Sister For Small Fortune Over Cat Bite
In a ruling sure to warm the ambulance-chasing Breck Girl's heart, a Michigan man has been awarded $122,400 after suing his own sister because her cat bit his hand.
The cat in question was not a lion or a tiger but a Siamese named Randy. His sister warned people not to pick up the cat because of its attitude problem, but it leaped right into her brother's lap, rendering him helpless.
Getting bit by a dog must be worth close to a quarter million.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:33 AM | Comments (2)
Animal Rights Kooks: Cuddly Polar Bear Cub Must Die!
Moonbats will tell you that it is better to cause mass starvation by pulling the emergency brakes on the world economy than to risk raising the temperature by a fraction of a degree in the sacred polar bear's arctic habitat. But then, they will also tell you that a cuddly polar bear cub at the Berlin Zoo must die.
Screams animal rights activist Frank Albrecht:
Feeding by hand is not species-appropriate but a gross violation of animal protection laws. The zoo must kill the bear.
But the cub's mother ignored it, so zookeepers had no choice but to raise "Cute Knut" themselves. Yet Albrecht holds firm:
If a polar bear mother rejected the baby, then I believe the zoo must follow the instincts of nature. In the wild, it would have been left to die.
"Four Paws" — a German animal rights organization — agrees, arguing that it would not be right to punish the cub by letting it live.
They might have a point. In nature, organisms that don't see to their own needs are left to their fate, as there is no state to hand them other people's money. In the past this helped keep the world free of moonbats.
On tips from V the K, Bill V., and Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:11 AM | Comments (4)
March 19, 2007
Interplanetary Muslim Diplomats Arrested in Trenton
In a setback for interplanetary diplomacy, members of a Muslim group that reportedly includes residents of "the so-called planet Earth" as well as Mars and Venus have been arrested by Trenton police.
The four jailbirds claim to be diplomats from the Abannaki Indigenous Nation, which they say grants them immunity from US laws. Nonetheless, Ashir M. Bey, Abdul Ali Amin, Born El-Rey, and Russell K. Davis were arrested on charges ranging from possession of a controlled dangerous substance to displaying fraudulent documentation.
CAIR seems to be staying out of this one — which reflects well on the Abannakis.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:55 PM | Comments (7)
Today in History: Richard Belzer Insults American Troops
On This Day in WND History reminds us of a truly shameful lowlight in the history of moonbattery that occurred on this day last year: actor Richard Belzer's denunciation of American troops as "19 and 20-year-old kids who couldn't get a job" on the odious HBO program "Real Time with Bill Maher."
Belzer has played a detective on a couple of television dramas, which apparently puts him in a position to analyze American soldiers and their capabilities — according to the people who bring us the loathsome Bill Maher, who unsurprisingly concurred with Belzer's opinion.
The idea of characterizing our troops as losers and mental defectives was later popularized by the great John "Botched Joke" Kerry, who incidentally served in Vietnam and was even wounded in the buttocks with a few grains of rice after throwing a grenade in some peasants' food supply, earning him a Purple Heart.
Possibly Kerry was extrapolating from his own brief experience as a slow-witted soldier. As for Belzer and Maher, they have only one excuse — the terminal moonbattery that has corroded both their minds and their souls.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:30 PM | Comments (2)
Transportation in Socialism Paradise
Don't tell Hollywood, but even AP admits that life in the socialist paradise Cuba leaves a bit to be desired. Due to a public transport system that even acting dictator Raul Castro admits is "practically on the point of collapse," inmates of this island prison are forced to do a large part of their traveling by hitchhiking.
Few have their own cars, and even fewer can afford gas for them. This being a communist country, there is actually a law dictating that you have to pick up hitchhikers if you have an empty seat. Both citizens and police will hop into cars uninvited when they stop at traffic lights.
One reason so few have their own cars is that buying one requires state permission, which isn't easily granted. Then of course there is the fact that thanks to socialism, Cubans don't have any money. Many Cubans are still riding around in decrepit vehicles from before the communists seized control in 1959.
On the other hand, the esteemed intellectual Chevy Chase asserts that "Socialism works. I think Cuba might prove that."
On a tip from Metalgarth.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:53 AM | Comments (20)
Global Warming Ship Is Sinking
The fact that man-made global warming is a hoax perpetrated on a gullible public to advance left-wing policy objectives is becoming increasingly difficult to suppress. Martin Durkin, who blew the global warming cult out of the water by directing the excellent documentary The Great Global Warming Swindle, knew he would be attacked in response, but even he is surprised by how little ammo the hysterics have been able to gather.
Durkin was criticized for not using Al Gore's infamous hockey stick graph — the one that ignores the Medieval Warm Period — despite this graph having been thoroughly discredited. The computer program used to create it produces hockey sticks even when fed random data.
Other cultists quibble about graphs Durkin did use to illustrate the extremely close correlation between solar variation and temperature change. But no one disputes the data behind them.
One MIT scientist, apparently concerned with political repercussions, resorted to pretending he had been duped into taking part in the documentary.
Durkin's own most devastating attacks have gone undisputed. As he showed, the ice core data cultists had relied on so heavily indicates that higher CO2 levels are driven by warmer temperatures, not the reverse. No one can credibly explain why the climate warmed prior to WWII, when CO2 emissions were low, but cooled for decades afterward, during the post-war industrial boom.
As Durkin concludes:
Too many journalists and scientists have built their careers on the global-warming alarm. Certain newspapers have staked their reputation on it. The death of this theory will be painful and ugly. But it will die. Because it is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Sooner or later, everyone will known that the whole CO2-driven global warming story is a lie, and the credibility of the liberal media stooges who participated in telling it will be eroded still further.
On a tip from Bergbikr.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:38 AM | Comments (10)
March 18, 2007
The ACLU Finds Religion
The ACLU has gone to great lengths to suppress Christianity, but it isn't hostile to all religions. On September 11, Islam earned a sacred place in liberal hearts, winning the pack of jackals known as the ACLU to its side.
New York's Department of Correctional Services is being sued on behalf of a correction officer named Abdus Samad N. Haqq, who wants to wear a Muslim kufi to work. Uniformed officers aren't supposed to wear visible symbols of their faith on the job. The DOJ is behind the suit, but an initial suit was brought on Haqq's behalf by the ACLU, which complained that his religious rights were being violated. Maybe if Christians started flying planes into buildings, the ACLU's new concern for religious liberty would spread beyond Islam.
The Department of Correctional Services has already changed its policy, according to spokeswoman Linda Foglia, who says that exceptions to the ban on religious symbols will be considered "on a case by case basis." She wouldn't say what the process would be for determining which symbols would be allowed and which wouldn't. The unspoken rule may be something along the lines of: Islam permitted, Christianity forbidden.
By the way, the spread of violent Islam in our prisons is a ticking time bomb.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:37 PM | Comments (6)
Moonbat Rally and Counterrally
Yesterday moonbats flapped out from their malodorous caves and descended on DC to demand their country's surrender, demonstrate support for Islamic terrorists, and promote the psychotic belief that the atrocities of September 11 were committed by Americans. Age of Hooper has filed an excellent eye-witness report, complete with photography. This is the enemy within that is doing to America what Vandals did to Rome:
If only Raid or d-CON would come out with a product that works on progressives, it would save our country from a shameful demise.
At least we have moonbat repellent. Pam points out at Blogmeister USA that the most effective is patriotism. She was on the scene at a counterprotest called Gathering of Eagles, which drew a massive crowd of 30,000, reportedly outnumbering the moonbats three to one. As Aaron Arnwine of Lifelike Pundits remarked to WAVY:
Hippies aren't the only ones who can protest.
Here's how AP covered the respective rallies:
[W]ar protester Susanne Shine of Boone, N.C., found herself in a crowd of counterdemonstrators, and came out in tears, with her sign in shreds. "They ripped up my peace sign," she said, after police escorted her, her husband and two adult daughters from the group. "It was really pretty scary for me." […]
As Fox News might say, Fair and Balanced? You decide.
Via Michelle Malkin, here are a couple of photos taken yesterday that won't show up on the AP newswire:
Hat tips: Caption This!, LGF.
Posted by Van Helsing at 1:02 PM | Comments (5)
Bush Promises Shamnesty in Mexico
Wonderful news: our southern border is now as good as secure! Per the Washington Times:
President Bush said yesterday he has proved his commitment to securing the U.S.-Mexico border and members of Congress now can turn to broad immigration overhaul.
Of course W was south of the border when he made this surprising claim — the better to avoid a volley of rotten tomatoes. He told his Mexican compadre Felipe Calderon that he is optimistic shamnesty can be granted to invaders from Mexico this year,
because the mood in the Congress seems like it has changed, from skepticism last year to knowledge that getting a comprehensive bill will be in the nation's interests.
The nation Bush was referring to was of course Mexico, not the USA. The mood of Congress changed, all right — when it was taken over by Democrats, who like Bush can be counted on to act in diametric opposition to our country's best interests when it comes to the government's fundamental duty to defend our territory from foreign invasion.
Bush's standup comedy act continued with this side-splitter:
Over the past year, I believe we have shown the American people that there is a strong commitment to the rule of law.
Too bad Jose Alonso Compean, Ignacio Ramos, and Guillermo Hernandez — all law enforcement officers who were railroaded and treated to draconian prison terms for trying to defend our country from invading illegal aliens — couldn't have been in the audience for that one. They would have busted a gut.
Bush also revealed his solution to the drug trafficking that is rampant across the border he refuses to defend: he is going to "encourage people to use less drugs."
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Although for the wrong reasons, moonbats might be correct on their uncharitable assessment of our 43rd president.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:54 AM | Comments (5)
Three Little Pigs Fall Prey to Multiculturalism
Piece by piece, we are washing our own culture down the drain lest our existence offend someone. The latest victim: the three little pigs.
The Honley Church of England Junior School in Huddersfield put on a dramatized version of the classic tale, with the name changed to "The Three Little Puppies" to be "sensitive" to Muslims.
Suggesting that the problem is not so much Muslims as the self-loathing multicultural liberals who pander to them with such unseemly obsequiousness, Sheik Ibrahim Mogra of the Muslim Council of Britain called this gesture "bizarre." As Mogra sensibly wonders:
Are we going to change the seven dwarves because it's discriminatory towards people who are physically less able? Where do you draw the line?
The answer is that the line will be drawn for us. As political correctness twists our culture against itself, it is creating a vacuum that will inevitably be filled by some other culture that does not suffer from the shameful and terminal disease known as moonbattery.
On a tip from Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:59 AM | Comments (4)
March 17, 2007
Global Warming Hoax Threatens Autobahn
People love freedom — even Germans, despite their habit of submitting to suffocating bureaucratic control. In Germany the love of freedom is embodied in the Autobahn, where drivers can go as fast as they please.
Not even the Nazis took away this cherished liberty, which is precious to Germans not only psychologically but also economically, as Germany produces some of the world's fastest cars. But the global warming cult is more comprehensive than National Socialism in its totalitarian objectives, and couldn't care less about economic consequences.
Stavros Dimas of Greece, the European Union's environmental commissioner, wants Germans to introduce a speed limit on the Autobahn. Setting a limit at 75 mph would reduce Germany's overall CO2 emissions by less than 0.5%.
No credible person could believe this would have any discernible affect on the climate. But of course, the objective of environmentalism is not to eliminate climate fluctuation — which obviously would be impossible — but to eliminate liberty.
On a tip from MoleOnABull.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:38 AM | Comments (6)
Rosie Blames Bankers For Blowing Up WTC
Rosie O'Donnell must not have hit bottom yet — even after siding with terrorist mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed against her own country — because she's still digging.
After implying that WTC 7 was brought down in a secret controlled demolition, she actually suggests that the World Trade Center was destroyed not because Muslim terrorists are at war with us, but because sinister capitalists and shadowy government entities wanted records destroyed.
Yes, Rosie has mental problems and apparently suffers from mild mental retardation. But what excuse do the folks at ABC have for putting this appalling woman on the air?
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:02 AM | Comments (15)
March 16, 2007
Illegal Aliens Plan May Day Mayhem
Remember last May Day, when illegal aliens taught us all how much we don't need them with the flop they called the "Day Without an Immigrant"? Like the bureauweenies who want to try amnesty again (e.g., Lettuce McStain), they appear to be very slow learners, because they're planning the same thing this year.
This time it will be called the "Great American Boycott." Participants will refrain from shopping, working, or going to school. Instead they will all go back to their own country and leave us alone. Just kidding, unfortunately. Instead they will hold rallies.
Anyone who still doesn't get it that our country is being invaded by an army of hostile colonizers need only listen to the people behind these rallies — folks like Bishop Felipe C. Teixeira of the Immigration Pastoral Center in Taxachusetts, who has this to say:
No human being is illegal. Together, united, we can defeat the imperialism of the USA.
They're invading our country, yet we're the ones guilty of "imperialism." Moonbat ideology is so sophisticated, sometimes it goes right over my head.
Posted by Van Helsing at