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December 11, 2006
Saving the Cows: Another Aspect of Global Warming
A phenomenon doesn't get to be as big as global warming without offering something for everyone — or at least, something for all moonbats. While lefties like Ireland's Mary Robinson will be attracted to the opportunities it provides to stick it to the rich, kooks of the Chrissie Hynde strain may find in it justification for demanding that we put an end to the cattle industry.
The UN asserts that methane is 23 times as bad as carbon dioxide when it comes to global warming. Much of that methane comes from farting farm animals — 43% of it in Scotland, for example.
Intones a UN report:
Livestock are one of the most significant contributors to today's most serious environmental problems.
Farm animals are blamed for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions — more than all forms of transport combined. Cows are the worst offenders, though sheep, chickens, pigs, and goats will also let rip their share of stinkers.
The initial reaction of bureaucrats to the revelation that animals create more greenhouse gases than cars has been to mutter about regulating what farmers can feed their cows. But what if this doesn't stop Al Gore from screeching that the entire planet is doomed?
The next logical step will be legal restrictions of cattle ranches. What an opportunity: moonbats can save cows from exploitation, impose vegetarianism, and put the screws to cowboys — all in the name of saving the planet. It shouldn't be hard for them to overwhelm the opposition. Who wants to be in favor of farts?
On tips from Bergbikr and Bill V.
Posted by Van Helsing at December 11, 2006 4:40 PM
Comments
would someone pull my hoof?:
http://sci-toys.com/attention/cow.GIF
Posted by: Anonymous at December 11, 2006 4:55 PM
I'll take my cow rare please!
I wondered what happened to Chrissie.
I used to like her.
No wonder she vanished into obscurity.
She's busy saving cows.
So sad
Posted by: Melissa In Texas at December 11, 2006 6:05 PM
What about people who are notoriously gassy? Should they be gotten rid of as well? According to trustworthy sources (i.e. Jeffrey Dahmer), people can be mighty tasty. Hey, killing multiple birds with one stone! Stop killing of animals, decrease the population, and put a stop to that infernal global warming. I'll call Kofi with my suggestion right now!
Posted by: Pam at December 12, 2006 6:14 AM
I've always heard that the termites, whose combined mass is greater than all mammals on earth, contribute more to greenhouse emissions than any other factor. Something about the cellulose being broken down in their stomachs. Huh.
Posted by: steveH at December 12, 2006 8:53 AM
"Hynde: "My purpose in life is to save cows.""
Carl: My purpose in life is to eat cooked cow flesh and wear tanned cow hide.
Posted by: Carl at December 12, 2006 1:43 PM
Hey Pam, remember "Soylent Green is people!!!"
Posted by: Carl at December 12, 2006 1:44 PM
If God didn't want us to eat cows, why did he make them out of meat?
Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at December 12, 2006 5:50 PM
