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November 9, 2006
Moonbat Dies For the Sins of America
Remember the Sorry Everybody project, which entailed moonbats holding up hand-scrawled signs apologizing to the world for the sins of America in the wake of the 2004 election? A moonbat by the name of Malachi Ritscher has taken his misguided penance on behalf of the USA a little further. Ostensibly to protest our defense of Iraq's fledgling democracy from totalitarian terrorists, he publicly set himself on fire.
The desperate bid for attention was carried out along the Kennedy Expressway in Chicago, near a 25-foot-high sculpture entitled "Flame of the Millennium."
Instead of a suicide note, Ritscher left a homemade sign reading "Thou Salt Not Kill" and a "mission statement" that distills moonbattery to its purest essence. It includes this rather dramatic attempt at a sentence:
If one death can atone for anything, in any small way, to say to the world: I apologize for what we have done to you, I am ashamed for the mayhem and turmoil caused by my country.
Despite obvious delusions of grandeur, if the guy was trying to be moonbattery's answer to Jesus, he fell short. Here's another tidbit from his mission statement:
[A]t 8:05 one morning in 2002 I passed Donald Rumsfeld on Delaware Avenue and I was acutely aware that slashing his throat would spare the lives of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of innocent people. I had a knife clenched in my hand, and there were no bodyguards visible; to my deep shame I hesitated, and the moment was past.
Ritscher maintained a website called KILLTHEPRESIDENT.NET.
There's nothing quite as pathetic as the life of an aging hippie who never outgrows moonbattery, as detailed in a wretched obituary he wrote for himself. At the end of it Ritscher made plans to immigrate to Canada, so as to escape the taint of America's evil. But then he decided it would be easier just to pour gas on his head and strike a match.
Hat tip: BelchSpeak
Posted by Van Helsing at November 9, 2006 1:56 PM
Comments
Wow, I love your take on it!
Posted by: BelchSpeak at November 9, 2006 2:06 PM
His fellow 'bats are weeping on the guestbook, check it out...
http://cyberguestbook.fatcow.com/savage2/
Posted by: DL at November 9, 2006 4:14 PM
Whats up with the timing?
Posted by: MB at November 9, 2006 4:58 PM
this guy was for sure a certified moonbat, but he had one thing that other moonbats don't usually show...true conviction. The nutbag actually *set himself on fire* for what he believed! Nobody can doubt his sincerity...sanity, tho, that's another issue altogether! Obviously, he was just as crazy as a sh!thouse rat...watta loon!
Posted by: Grousie at November 9, 2006 6:18 PM
Now if we could just get this going with the rest of the moonbats, convince them it's the start of a new liberal trend.
I'll provide the matches.
Posted by: Subvet at November 10, 2006 12:53 AM
Quick, somebody get me some marshmallows!
Posted by: Earl Gibbons at November 10, 2006 7:31 AM
That nut really got "hot under the collar".
Its cool when the Moonbats get really "fired up".
Did anyone tell that guy smoking is bad for his health?
Was this guy a friend of Richard Pryor or Michael Jackson?
This nuts girlfriend described him as a really really HOT guy.
Everyone else thought he was pretty much a total assclown.
Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at November 10, 2006 11:29 AM
Funny stuff, General!
Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at November 10, 2006 1:47 PM
oh my, i can barely contain my glee and amusement that someone committed suicide. can hardly wait to pull out the thesaurus and make a list of insults to connect with his name. makes me feel so superior. u.s.a! u.s.a! u.s.a!
Posted by: apple at November 16, 2006 3:27 PM
