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November 29, 2006

Columbia: Sodom and Gomorrah University

There's more to a college education these days than grievance studies. There's also sex, especially at Columbia, where campus TV broadcasts pornography, an S&M club presents live floggings in the classroom, and the $33,246 per year tuition pays for such learning experiences as the "Erotic Cake-Baking Contest" and "Guess the Number of Condoms in the Jelly-Bean Jar."

Miriam Datskovsky, a 21-year-old girl from an Orthodox Jewish background who serves as the "sex columnist" for the student newspaper writes that:

Having sex in the stacks of Butler Library is one of the ultimate Columbia experiences.

Miss Datskovsky describes the Columbia culture:

There's very little dating. It's predominately a hookup scene. Everything is so much easier and so much quicker — you go to dinner and then have sex.

Taxpayers can take pride in helping to finance the naked parties that take place in Columbia's dorms. Other educational activities include "Sexhibition," an annual sex fair that includes "hookups" in the "Tent of Consent"; a "Safer Sex Week" that involves displaying S&M paraphernalia; an S&M demonstration entitled "Thug Play with Princess Wendy," at which students learned about "boot service" and the "fine art of humiliation"; and the "Naked Run," during which students go streaking 1970s style. The on-campus TV station provides a head start for students looking forward to a future in the pornography industry.

Even Ivy League schools have some social standards. Love letters are banned, being regarded by the degenerate moonbats running this sewer as a form of "nonphysical sexual harassment." Naturally, conservative views are not tolerated.

A Columbia prof prepares to give a lecture.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at November 29, 2006 8:05 AM


Typical narrow-minded right-winger, insisting that a university not be just a place where spoiled adolescents are allowed unlimited sex and drug experimentation in a consequence-free environment. I suppose you'd be happier if they were teaching literature, philosophy, advanced mathematics, engineering, and other tools of male white corporate oppression.

Posted by: V the K at November 29, 2006 8:32 AM

At Penn State, the goal was to sneak into Beaver Stadium at night, and do it on the 50 yard line.
We also had the Mifflin Streak. The guys from Mifflin dormitory would strip naked, cover their faces with ski-masks, and streak from one building to another. It happened every Spring.
Ah, to be young again!

Posted by: phil at November 29, 2006 8:49 AM

Oh, by the way, the Moonbat Administration at Columbia has still done absolutely nothing to find or punish the left-wing fascist thugs who stormed the stage to keep Jim Gilchrist from expressing views that ran counter to their politics.

Posted by: V the K at November 29, 2006 9:01 AM

V the K...are you really surprised?

I'm beginning to think that my commuting to the local state university while living at home wasn't such a bad thing after all!

Posted by: Pam at November 29, 2006 10:05 AM

I'm encouraging my kids not to rush to college. To take at least a year off after high school to work a real job and understand how the real world works, then do a year at Community College and take care of their basic courses before going to a university. And to be honest, I'd much prefer they joined the military, as one wants to do, than waste their time at college before they have enough maturity to use the experience productively.

I'll admit, my own undergrad experience was a waste of time and money, except to the extent that it got me the credentials to move to the next stage of my life. It wasn't until I went to grad school that I really had a meaningful academic experience. As an undergrad, I drank, got laid, screwed around, and not much else.

Posted by: V the K at November 29, 2006 11:21 AM

They obviously take the World's Oldest Profession very seriously at Columbia. How much does a professional consort in NYC make these days, anyways? Heck, they'll pay off those college loans in no time!

Posted by: Farmer John at November 29, 2006 11:54 AM

I hear its' a rapidly growing professions in America... and the income forecasts for graduate professionals are thru the roof!

Posted by: Farmer John at November 29, 2006 12:14 PM

Gosh, I knew Columbia was bad, but I didn't think it was this bad. A couple years ago, had an article about the degeneracy at Oberlin College, and the comment column was bombarded with angry, hateful messages from Oberlin students. The substance of those messages very forcefully demonstrated the social miscreants being turned out by that awful school.

Posted by: Chris at November 29, 2006 2:46 PM