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November 30, 2006

Sundance to Feature Horse Sex Movie

Independent films face a difficult task: to be considered cutting edge, they have to be even more degenerate and morally disgusting than the mainstream slop that oozes out of Hollyweird. But our filmmaking artists are up to the task, as Robinson Devor proves with his documentary "Zoo," which will be included in the Sundance Film Festival's 2007 documentary competition.

The movie examines the story of a man who died after having sex with a horse at an animal brothel outside Enumclaw, Washington.

What it will take to make the 2008 competition, only the Devil knows.

On tips from Redford and V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:28 PM | Comments (7)

ACLU Nativity Scene

In honor of the Christmas spirit, the Young Conservatives of Texas are reaching out to the Left with an "ACLU Nativity Scene" that will be displayed on campus at the University of Texas next Monday and Tuesday. Chairman Tony McDonald describes the alternative crèche:

We've got Gary and Joseph instead of Mary and Joseph in order to symbolize ACLU support for homosexual marriage, and of course there isn't a Jesus in the manger. The three Wise Men are Lenin, Marx, and Stalin because the founders of the ACLU were strident supporters of Soviet style Communism.

There will also be a terrorist shepherd and an angel that looks like Nancy Pelosi. But Hot Air suggests that this considerate gesture doesn't go far enough to please the true-blue Left — or even to stay out of court:

Why can't Gary and Joseph have an adopted child? Do the creators of this "nativity" scene have a problem with gay adoption? I see a law suit coming.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:06 PM | Comments (12)

Libs Scheme to Demonize the South

Let's see, who's left for the Dems to demonize after Republicans, Christians, businessmen, and the military? How about Southerners?

Jonah Goldberg reports on a strategy described by Rick Perlstein in The New Republic that would relegate the GOP to regional party status by tying it to the South, while stepping up the age-old anti-Southern propaganda campaign that portrays any white guy living below the Mason–Dixon as a throwback to an earlier stage of evolution who instinctively indulges in the ultimate moral depravity: racism against people other than Caucasians.

According to Perlstein, it's taboo among the Northeastern elite who control the media to let it slip just how much they really hate the South — but they ought to dump the subtle digs and outright demonize the whole region, leaving all correct-thinking people with no choice but to vote for the anti-Southern party, Democrats.

Isn't it wonderful how liberals work to unite our country, unlike those hate-filled conservatives?

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:48 PM | Comments (9)

Naked Crack Fiend Attacked by Alligator

Let this be a lessen to those who would indulge: Adrian J. Apgar of Polk County, Florida was naked and high on crack when he was attacked by an alligator.

Deputies had to play tug-of-war with the gator to get Apgar free. He suffered a broken arm, a partially amputated arm, and trauma to a leg, and may not live.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:35 AM | Comments (9)

Danny DeVito Video

Here it is — the vulgar, drunken, moonbat troll Danny DeVito insulting the President and making a fool of himself in front of an audience of chortling cretins on The View:

This is what hanging out with the likes of George Clooney can reduce you to. It's also an excellent example of the sort of people who provide our culture with intellectual guidance.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:22 AM | Comments (7)

November 29, 2006

Muslims Go For Our Achilles' Heel

As new facts come to light, it is becoming impossible to doubt that the radical imams who got themselves thrown off a flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix last week were either planning to hijack the plane or — much more likely — deliberately created the impression they were.

A predictably sympathetic media clucks that the poor radicals were discriminated against just for praying, which is a perfectly legitimate activity when not done by Christians. However, the imams did much more to terrify the other passengers than ostentatiously praising the god of airline terrorism at the top of their lungs.

As FrontPage notes, three of the imams repeatedly shouted "Allah" when passengers were called for boarding. After getting on the plane, they abandoned their assigned seats to take seats near each of the exits — standard procedure for hijackers. Though not overweight, they asked for seatbelt extensions, which they placed on the floor instead of using; seatbelt extensions are great for strangling flight attendants and pilots. Passengers heard them denouncing America and President Bush. They repeatedly moved around in the plane to consult with each other, another bright red flag.

Naturally, moonbats side with the imams. The insufferable Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) has been shrieking about "racial profiling, harassment and discrimination of Muslim and Arab Americans." The phrase "flying while Muslim" is being shouted with the same phony righteousness as "driving while black."

The imams hit the ground running with a lawsuit that they had apparently planned in advance. Was this the sole purpose of their outrageous behavior? Or is this part of the same intimidation campaign that has featured such absurd confrontations as the Cartoon Intifada?

Another possibility is that Muslims are deliberately disarming us in preparation for the next 9/11. When Jackson-Lee and friends have managed to make it illegal to so much as give an Arab a long look at the airport, it will be all the easier to fly a few more planes into buildings full of Americans.

In any case, you have to hand it to Muslims: they have certainly zeroed in on the West's Achilles' heel — although a blind man could see that political correctness is a gaping hole in our civilization's defenses.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:22 PM | Comments (8)

Lee Camp: Sounding the Retreat For Christianity

At a conference in Nashville yesterday devoted to resolving religious conflict, Lipscomb University professor Lee Camp had some suggestions that must be music to Muslims' ears:

We need to forsake the Christendom model. The most basic Christian commitment … is that we say we believe in the Lordship of Jesus. But, if we claim that, how can a Muslim or Jew trust us, if we say Jesus is the Lord of all Lords?

Why should Christians take Christ so seriously? After all, according to Camp:

If I hold to a model of Jesus … what I've committed to in my baptism is loving my enemy. [...] It's an exclusive commitment to the way of Christ, not to the exclusive authority of Christ.

The old "why they hate us" routine was given a religious cast as Camp called upon Christians to examine their sins:

We have such short historical (memory) spans as white Christians. There is a history of anti-Semitism, the violence and bloodshed of the crusades and cultural imperialism. We have to deal with the reality of what Christians have done, which in some cases has been to kill people.

Whereas Islam is the Religion of Peace, as we all know.

Here's an idea I'm surprised Camp didn't think of: why stop at forsaking Christendom? Why not just forsake Christ completely and be done with it? Why not convert to Islam? We would have to live as slaves to a demonic god from the Dark Ages, but at least then the nice peace-loving terrorists would stop trying to kill us.

Now for the scary part: Camp does not teach peace studies or victimology or even journalism. He is on the faculty of Lipscomb University's College of Bible and Ministry, where he helps educate future ministers.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 4:02 PM | Comments (15)

Animal Rights Goons Close Down Century-Old Business

Schumacher Furs has been doing business in downtown Portland, Oregon for 112 years — but not for much longer. After an intimidation campaign that has lasted for months, animal rights thugs have managed to drive it away.

The situation is familiar to anyone who has lived in a city with a large moonbat population: sanctimonious kooks with far too much time on their hands single out a business upon which to focus their general hatred of civilization. They set up camp on the sidewalk, heckling and intimidating anyone who tries to go in the store. The police do nothing unless there is actual violence. Eventually the business is forced to close up shop, and moonbats can rejoice in their victory over economic productivity.

In addition to picketing Schumacher Furs, a cult calling itself In Defense of Animals has threatened the owner and his family. There have also been bomb threats against the store. Says the owner:

I don't feel safe entering my own store.

He is not revealing the new location of his store publicly, except to say that it will be on private property so that moonbats can be kept away.

What will be next, after progressives have driven furriers out of business? Eight people were killed when Al Sharpton and friends decided to go after Freddy's Fashion Mart in Harlem for being owned by a Jew. Maybe moonbats will decide to firebomb hardware stores for selling American flags.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:11 PM | Comments (7)

Columbia: Sodom and Gomorrah University

There's more to a college education these days than grievance studies. There's also sex, especially at Columbia, where campus TV broadcasts pornography, an S&M club presents live floggings in the classroom, and the $33,246 per year tuition pays for such learning experiences as the "Erotic Cake-Baking Contest" and "Guess the Number of Condoms in the Jelly-Bean Jar."

Miriam Datskovsky, a 21-year-old girl from an Orthodox Jewish background who serves as the "sex columnist" for the student newspaper writes that:

Having sex in the stacks of Butler Library is one of the ultimate Columbia experiences.

Miss Datskovsky describes the Columbia culture:

There's very little dating. It's predominately a hookup scene. Everything is so much easier and so much quicker — you go to dinner and then have sex.

Taxpayers can take pride in helping to finance the naked parties that take place in Columbia's dorms. Other educational activities include "Sexhibition," an annual sex fair that includes "hookups" in the "Tent of Consent"; a "Safer Sex Week" that involves displaying S&M paraphernalia; an S&M demonstration entitled "Thug Play with Princess Wendy," at which students learned about "boot service" and the "fine art of humiliation"; and the "Naked Run," during which students go streaking 1970s style. The on-campus TV station provides a head start for students looking forward to a future in the pornography industry.

Even Ivy League schools have some social standards. Love letters are banned, being regarded by the degenerate moonbats running this sewer as a form of "nonphysical sexual harassment." Naturally, conservative views are not tolerated.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:05 AM | Comments (8)

November 28, 2006

Moonbat Prof Calls English-Speaking Americans "Parasites"

There seems to be no limit to the contempt useless ivory tower moonbats will express toward their own civilization. Take University of Colorado's Paul Campos for example. In a recent diatribe in which he chastises us for objecting to having to press 1 for English in our own English-speaking country, Campos has this to say:

[T]he most significant fact to keep in mind about people who speak Spanish in the United States is this: such people are invariably performing useful labor. In fact, it isn't too much of an exaggeration to say that the odds a person does the kind of work that simply has to get done in order to keep civilization afloat go up in direct proportion to the probability that this person speaks Spanish.

Those among us who build the buildings, and cook the food, and clean the bathrooms, and trim the trees, and care for the children - in short, the people who, in Orwell's phrase, "make the wheels go round" - are increasingly the people who press "2" in order to hear their options in Spanish.

Meanwhile, the immense mass of well-paid parasites who infest our fabulously wealthy nation - the financial analysts, the political consultants, the managers of human resources, the vice presidents for West Coast promotion, the producers of television commercials designed to increase the consumption of certain breakfast cereals, and, needless to say, the syndicated newspaper columnists - will continue to become annoyed at the need to press "1."

Just think, if only we could get rid of the parasites, and all be gardeners and dishwashers, we could generate as much wealth as Mexico. It's a good thing Campos teaches law and not economics.

Hat tip: Slapstick Politics

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:50 PM | Comments (13)

More Money Moonbattery

The EU has its euro and soon — unless we're lucky — North America will have the amero, a currency that the misguided would like to see replace the American and Canadian dollars and the Mexican peso.

This integration of North America's economies ought to solve the illegal immigration crisis. After all, when the USA's economy has been brought down to the level of Mexico's, why wouldn't Mexicans stay down south where it's warm?

We're going to have to get rid of our own currency anyway, because US District Judge James Robertson has declared that it violates the Rehabilitation Act. Judge Robertson established his moonbat credentials a couple of years ago by ruling that the terrorists at Club Gitmo are entitled to the benefits you get for being a legitimate soldier who fights in accordance with the international laws of war. Now he's decided that all denominations of our currency being the same size and texture oppresses the blind.

On tips from Wiggins and Steve.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:18 PM | Comments (2)

English Cops Punished For "Racism"

Police in Hertfordshire, England are in trouble for circulating an email originating in the USA that shows a criminal getting himself decapitated on railings after jumping from an overpass while attempting to evade arrest. After an investigation that went on for five months, eight sergeants were treated to formal reprimands, and seven civilian supervisors received final written warnings for distributing the series of images, which were fittingly entitled "Do not run from the police."

Why the fuss? Ostensibly they had breached the department's Internet security policy. The real reason: the criminal who lost his head was black. According to Deputy Chief Constable Simon Ash, this could be "perceived as being racist."

Bellowed Keith Jarrett, president of the Black Police Association:

I don't think a robust enough sanction has been taken against the officers concerned, especially the supervisory ones.

The officers should have taken a clue from every lawn jockey in the world getting its face painted white. If only they had photoshopped the pictures to make pretend the perp was Caucasian, all of this trouble could have been avoided.

On a tip from Harry L.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:48 PM | Comments (1)

Impressive Stats For Undocumented Murderers

It isn't always the cream of the crop that sneaks across unguarded borders, as evidenced by the 12 Americans who are murdered each day by illegal aliens.

While we weep and tear our clothes over the carnage in Iraq, it might provide some perspective to keep in mind that the number of Americans killed by "undocumented workers" over the last year alone exceeds the combined American death tolls of the entire Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns.

The numbers are frightening: 4,380 Americans are deliberately killed each year by people who are committing a crime just by being here. That comes to 21,900 since September 11.

So far 2,863 Americans have died in Iraq, and 289 in Afghanistan. The media tells us we're losing the war. We sure are — but not the one in the Middle East.

In addition to the 12 Americans murdered each day by illegals, 13 are killed accidentally by "undocumented" drunk drivers, many of whom have no license, insurance, or clue how to drive.

Then there are the 2,920 American children who are sexually abused by illegal aliens each year.

On the positive side, illegal aliens shave a few pennies off the price of a head of lettuce.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:15 PM | Comments (4)

The Moonbat Media's Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Defeat

It isn't often that Moonbattery can recommend editorials in the New York Times, but an op-ed by Dominic Johnson and Dominic Tierney warrants a read. The authors point out that the Tet Offensive, Somalia, and Iraq have been perceived as major American defeats. But the first two were defeats only because they were portrayed that way — and Iraq is following suit.

As too few know, it was the communists, not America, that took a pounding in the Tet Offensive. Half of the 80,000 attackers were killed in the first month alone, and not a single South Vietnamese target was held by the Vietcong. Nonetheless, our media chose to spin it as a defeat, and to focus morbidly on the brutality of war. This combined with expectations that had been recklessly inflated by the Johnson Administration to provide a devastating blow to the American public's morale.

Similarly, our adventure in Somalia was overwhelmingly successful from a military standpoint. Unfortunately, it is the public perception standpoint that determines winners and losers in the modern era. When we lost 43 soldiers in Black Hawk Down, no one seemed to notice that our troops had accomplished their mission, and that thousands of lives had been saved in Somalia. Unrealistic expectations of an easy mission were dashed, and our ghoulish media zeroed in on mutilated American corpses dragged by savages through Mogadishu.

The same forces are at play in Iraq. It doesn't matter whether we're winning on the ground. Expectations are unrealistically high, in part because of W's mistake of declaring "mission accomplished" before we got to the hard part. More importantly, the media is determined to report an American defeat.

As our terrorist enemies are all too aware, propaganda is more powerful than the mighty weapons in our military's arsenal. If the media reports that we lose, we really do lose — and the MSM wouldn't have it any other way.

On a tip from Harry B.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:49 PM | Comments (7)

Haiti: A Progressive Paradise

There is a place where the progressive ideal has been attained — a tropical paradise only an hour and a half from Miami by jet. It's called Haiti.

As Nicholas Eberstadt reports, the scourge of childhood obesity has been solved in Haiti, as has the coarse materialism imposed by capitalist consumerism:

Children are everywhere, many of them painfully thin — some are clothed, some partially clothed, others not clothed at all; not a few bear the marks of illness, infections, or growths that have never been diagnosed or treated. The graying decayed remnants of a few kites entangled on telephone lines provide the only hint that any of these children has ever possessed or enjoyed a toy.

John Lennon boldly imagined a world with no possessions. At last we'll have one if only we'll allow Haiti to lead the way.

Globalization has hardly touched this pristine land. In 2005, total merchandise exports added up to only $55 per person. Everything imported through the port system is estimated to add up to a pound per person per day, despite Haiti being self-sufficient in nothing.

Pure skies prevail even in the city, most residents being too poor to own vehicles or even to burn garbage. You won't find many ecologically insensitive SUVs in Haiti, and rubbish is recycled assiduously, being the population's primary resource.

Unfortunately there is a slight sewage problem, which renders the air in Port-au-Prince almost unbreathable. But the natives display an admirable versatility by using the same clogged canals both for communal latrines and for washing cookware. Unlike many of our own public restrooms, these latrines are most likely free from discrimination based on sexual identity. Men, women, children, transsexuals, transvestites, hermaphrodites — one and all are invited to relieve themselves into the water supply in a fitting tribute to polysexual diversity.

Peaceniks will be particularly pleased to hear that Haiti maintains no standing army, and has submitted to UN jurisdiction. The state has almost completely withered away, in accordance with Karl Marx's prediction. There are only about 7,000 police officers, many of whom work only sporadically and are on the take from criminal elements, leaving the populace free from police oppression.

UN forces keep to restaurants and beaches, avoiding any sort of conflict that would put them up against their highly restrictive rules of engagement. With essentially no law and order, people at last are free to do whatever they want. This helps to check the growth of capitalism, since there is no use acquiring wealth that will only be stolen.

Moonbats dissatisfied with life in America are encouraged to stop threatening to move to Canada, and immigrate to Haiti, the progressive utopia, which has been maintained for a mere $8.3 billion in official development assistance since 1969.

With thanks to V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:57 PM | Comments (6)

Joe Kennedy Teams Up With Hugo Chavez

It seemed the Kennedy family had bottomed out with the irresponsible degenerate Chappaquiddick Ted. But Joseph P. Kennedy II has managed to sink further still.

In jarring contrast to JFK's courageous stand against communism, Joe Kennedy has formed an alliance with socialist strongman Hugo Chavez, a brutal thug who openly models himself on totalitarian dictator Fidel Castro and whose regime has been steadily tightening its grip on the throat of what remains of democracy in Venezuela.

An ally of every enemy America has, including Iran's ayatollahs, North Korea, and of course Fidel Castro, Chavez relentlessly denounces the United States. When he is not characterizing our President as "the Devil" to the other corrupt thugs at the United Nations, he is providing discount heating oil to American communities shameless enough to accept it. The idea is to make us look bad, and to convince the willfully stupid that only socialist thugs care about the shivering poor. This sort of propaganda has been helpful in the quest by leftists to sow seeds of totalitarianism throughout Latin America. Recently they've gained ground in Bolivia, Nicaragua, and Ecuador.

Former Massachusetts Congressman Kennedy, who is expected to run for Governor or Senator at some point in the future, has teamed up with Chavez to milk the heating oil charade for publicity. He actually has ads on television boasting of his involvement in an enemy regime's propaganda campaign against his own country.

Obviously, if Chavez had any legitimate interest in helping the poor, he would let up on the socialism so that his own country might stop sinking ever deeper into poverty despite high oil prices. Annual inflation in Venezuela averaged 20% from 2001 to 2005. Chavez's contempt for property rights has made investment virtually impossible, resulting in an ever-shrinking middle class.

Though Venezuela is still nominally a democracy, Chavez has announced that he will rule until 2021. Elections are so characterized by violence, intimidation, and fraud that only Jimmy Carter is willing to endorse them — and even Jimbo would have qualms if Chavez weren't a leftist and rabidly hostile toward the USA.

In the Western Hemisphere, Venezuela is ahead of only Cuba when it comes to press freedom according to Freedom House. It is also second last in Transparency International's corruption perception index.

Yet Kennedy characterizes his complicity with Chavez's anti-US propaganda gimmick as "morally righteous." Falling back on the relativism that has replaced the notion of right and wrong in liberal minds, allowing them to excuse any abomination, he dismisses concern for Chavez's totalitarian tendencies by smirking that there has been "ample room for improvement in the ways that people get elected in Venezuela as well as in Florida."

It's merciful that JFK didn't live to witness this.

On a tip from Varla.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:07 AM | Comments (10)

Richards' Apologies Are Not Accepted, Naturally

Unsurprisingly, the black grievance industry is showing absolutely no gratitude for the early Christmas gift it received from kooky comedian Michael Richards.

As we have all heard ad nauseam, Richards lost his cool at a couple of black hecklers and went into an unhinged rant that featured the forbidden "n-word." Inevitably, he has been on his hands and knees groveling for forgiveness ever since. The ritual is reminiscent of the confessions offered up at Joseph Stalin's show trials. Unless Richards is even nuttier than he seems, he knows his career is as dead as Jimmy the Greek's. Yet he crawls and pleads and begs, even appearing on Jesse Jackson's radio show.

Jackson's heart remains cold. He is calling for the politically correct to boycott a recently released DVD box set of the seventh season of "Seinfeld," the sitcom that made Richards famous. Intones Jackass:

We want to give our ancestors a present. Dignity over degradation.

Dignity is a word that would be hard to apply to Richards, whose career is now on a train to Siberia.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:28 AM | Comments (8)

Thin Edge of the Wedge For Dropping Our National Motto?

"In God We Trust" became our national motto by an act of Congress in 1956. It might be forgotten in these atheistic times, except that it appears prominently on our money, to moonbats' chagrin. But new dollar coins to be released in February suggest the motto is being edged out.

Instead of appearing on the face of the coins, the motto will appear along the thin edge, along with the year and our previous national motto, "E Pluribus Unum."

I'm just glad they haven't put Malcolm X on our currency yet.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:51 AM | Comments (7)

November 27, 2006

Obese Moonbats Learn How to Throw Their Weight Around

The victim studies movement that is steadily replacing anything resembling a useful education on college campuses has found a new area to expand: fat studies.

Fat studies is an exercise in unmitigated moonbattery, as an approving New York Times makes clear:

Nestled within the humanities and social sciences fields, fat studies explores the social and political consequences of being fat. [...]

Proponents of fat studies see it as the sister subject — and it is most often women promoting the study, many of whom are lesbian activists — to women's studies, queer studies, disability studies and ethnic studies. In many of its permutations, then, it is the study of a people its supporters believe are victims of prejudice, stereotypes and oppression by mainstream society.

Research topics include how fat people are marginalized, how they are insensitively blamed for their own gluttony and sloth, how doctors exaggerate the health risks of obesity, etc.

Ivory tower moonbats are going through all the usual motions, expressing skepticism about the "war on obesity" and discussing "weightism" in law school tort classes. The anthology "Fat Studies Reader" collects scholarly research on the weighty subject of being fat. One chapter is entitled, "Jiggle in My Walk: The Iconic Power of the Big Butt in American Pop Culture."

A 29-year-old named Stefanie Snider is planning to write a dissertation for the University of Southern California on, in the Times' words, "the intersection of queer and fat identities in the United States in the 20th century." Size 18 burlesque dancer Cookie Woolner, who at age 32 is also still a graduate student, wrote her undergraduate thesis at Hampshire College on "positive representations of fat women in fanzines and underground media."

Meanwhile, tuition skyrockets, college students are found wanting in basic skills, and taxpayers are bled dry on behalf of institutions of supposedly higher learning.

Even some professors are developing a dim awareness of how far they have wandered into the realm of self-parody. Wonders University of Colorado social psychologist Joseph B. Juhasz:

Certainly we have not reached a point where we can do away with queer studies or race studies or women's studies. But where do you draw the line? Is there going to be a department of man-boy-love studies? Do we need polygamy studies? At which point do you say, enough already?

We should have started saying it at least 40 years ago.

Hat tip: PirateBallerina

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:42 PM | Comments (16)

Botched Joke Kerry Ranked Dead Last in Likability

Most will be unsurprised to learn that in a poll ranking the likability of 20 top American politicians, John "Botched Joke" Kerry finished dead last.

According to Peter Brown of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute in Hamden, Connecticut:

Americans know who he is, and have pretty much decided they don't like him.

Brown notes that while other candidates still have a chance to make "a good first impression" on voters who are unfamiliar with them, it's too late for Jean François, whom all of us know and most of us loathe.

Nonetheless, he appears still to be in the mix for the 2008 presidential race, blissfully insulated by his haughty ego from the opinions of his would-be subjects.

Posted by Van Helsing at 6:02 PM

Moderate Muslim Sighting

A moderate Muslim — i.e., one who does not approve of terrorism or believe that all infidels must die — has been sighted in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His name is Jamal Miftah and he is to be commended for the courage it took to write a piece in Tulsa World in which he criticizes al-Qaeda and calls on other Muslims to condemn terrorism. For his efforts, he has been threatened and kicked out of his mosque.

Did I say "moderate" Muslim? Among Muslims, Jamal Miftah is a radical.

Hat tip: LGF

Posted by Van Helsing at 5:07 PM | Comments (7)

Charlie Rangel Riffs on Kerry's "Botched Joke"

John Kerry's "botched joke" to the effect that only idiots and losers would be willing to defend our country by fighting terrorists in Iraq still isn't funny, even as told by Charles Rangel. Here's what our next Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee had to say about our troops on Fox News Sunday (Hot Air has video):

If there's anyone who believes these youngsters want to fight, as the Pentagon and some generals have said, you can just forget about it. [...] If a young fellow has an option of having a decent career, or joining the Army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq.

Sounds a lot like Hanoi John's botched joke, doesn't it? In the immortal words of Jean François:

You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't you get stuck in Iraq.

The only difference is, Rangel wasn't joking. But then, neither was Hanoi John. The idea that there could be a nobler motive than desperation for serving in the military apparently hasn't occurred to either of them.

Posted by Van Helsing at 2:33 PM

Alex Constantine, The Mad Tinfoil Hatter

As Oliver Stone's career illustrates, the wackiest moonbats are those drawn to conspiracy theories. For conspiracies so mind-bendingly intricate that they can only be disputed by gasping, "But that's totally insane," readers are referred to Alex Constantine, whose website features this banner:

Alex Constantine's books are tour-de-force incursions into the secret world of American Fascisti, the classified government agencies that act as their Templars and the conspiracies they spawn — fascism, says Constantine, is inherently conspiratorial... and there is nothing theoretical about it...

Thanks to Mr. Constantine's diligent research, we now know that:

• Nicole Brown's Simpson's death involved the mob, the CIA, and mind control.
• Jimi Hendrix was assassinated in complex plot involving the CIA, the FBI, and the Mafia.
• The CIA stole Jewish art treasures looted by the Nazis.
• The Bush family has ties to Nazi Germany.
• Hollywood propagandizes in favor of America.
• The FBI gave Jim Morrison ulcers.
• The CIA has been conducting mind control experiments at Stanford.
• Timothy McVeigh was a subject of government electromagnetic mind control.
• NutraSweet is a form of chemical warfare that causes brain lesions, blindness, and tumors.

Etcetera. It probably all makes sense after a couple tabs of LSD.

On a tip from Rob.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:11 PM | Comments (6)

Warning: Do Not Date Ecosexuals

There's a new phenomenon that highlights liberals' famous tolerance: the ecosexual.

An ecosexual is a moonbat for whom environmentalist fanaticism takes precedence over other concerns in personal relationships. Since they tend not to believe in families or in serious commitments to other people, moonbats often find themselves still dating in their 30s and later — late enough in life for their politically correct prejudices to have become thoroughly ossified.

Says Rachel Pearson, a 33-year-old vegetarian designer who makes children's clothes out of "organic" cotton:

I won't date a guy who doesn't recycle. He doesn't have to wear nonleather shoes, but he has to get it.

For awhile she had a relationship going with a film producer. But that all ended when they went out for breakfast one morning and her beau not only ordered meat, but put synthetic sweetener in his coffee. Gasped Ms. Pearson:

I was dumbstruck. I think I ate my entire meal in silence. Pork plus NutraSweet? That was definitely our last date.

A 33-year-old Berkeley acupuncturist had a similar experience, when a woman he soon afterwards stopped dating admitted to eating chocolate cake for dinner:

If you're thinking about a long-term relationship, that's a red flag.

Here I was thinking that moonbats don't have any moral standards.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:25 AM | Comments (18)

Enlightened France Still Collaborating With the Nazis

The Nazis are dead and gone, but apparently it's still not too late for the French to collaborate with them. Police in Paris had to resort to deadly force to prevent a mob from tearing to pieces a Jewish soccer fan after HaPoel Tel Aviv beat Paris Saint-Germain in a UEFA Cup match.

After being identified as Jews, local supporters of the Tel Aviv team had to run for their lives after the match. Yaniv Hazout would have been killed if a plainclothes policeman, having been driven into a corner by a mob chasing Hazout, hadn't opened fire in self-defense.

Attackers shouted "filthy Jews" and "death to the Jews." No doubt there would have been more violence if Israeli fans hadn't been kept at the stadium for an hour after the match to prevent them from being assaulted.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:55 AM | Comments (5)

November 26, 2006

Cornell Student Opposes Thanking Our Troops

More moonbattery reaches us from the City of Evil, where Cornell junior Rob Fishman denounces the idea of expressing gratitude to our troops fighting terrorists in Iraq on our behalf.

According to Fishman, inviting us to honor the sacrifices of our soldiers is a "crafty strategy of misdirection," aimed at tricking us into siding with our own country in the war. The idea that you can support surrender and also support the troops doesn't wash with Fishman:

I wonder how much longer we can separate the actions of our troops from the White House's stubborn policy of "Stay the Course." [...] I thought the Nuremberg Trial of Eichmann had put to bed the defense that you can just "follow orders."

Don't blame Dick Durbin for Fishman's notion that our troops are the moral equivalents of Nazi war criminals. Cornell being an Ivy League school, he's probably hearing it from each one of his professors.

Though thoroughly insincere, maybe Charlie Rangel's call for a military draft has some merit after all. It would be highly educational for the pampered moonbats who write in college papers to step outside the ivory tower and get a glimpse of the sacrifices others make to preserve their right to run their mouths.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:39 PM | Comments (7)

Will Natural Selection Cure Us of Moonbattery?

Though attempting to use it to advance their ideology causes progressives to lapse into dogmatic absurdity, Darwinism certainly has some validity. It takes a lot of gullibility to buy into the cherished liberal belief that human life is just a meaningless random accident occurring to no purpose in a mindless void. But that's not to say there is nothing to natural selection, a mechanism that rids the world of species that are unfit to survive — moonbats, for example.

From a recent New York Times interview with Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop of the moonbattery-infested Episcopal Church:

NY Times: How many members of the Episcopal Church are there in this country?

Schori: About 2.2 million. It used to be larger percentagewise, but Episcopalians tend to be better-educated and tend to reproduce at lower rates than some other denominations.

NY Times: Episcopalians aren't interested in replenishing their ranks by having children?

Schori: No. It's probably the opposite. We encourage people to pay attention to the stewardship of the earth and not use more than their portion.

A liberal through and through, Schori sides with a hostile religion against her own, opining that Christians have "a terrible history" and condemning the condemnation of Muslim violence.

She's not the first moonbat whose self-hatred has taken the form of discouraging reproduction. A cult calling itself Voluntary Human Extinction Movement calls for a complete end to it. Ecokook Eric Pianka of the University of Texas has proclaimed that the world would be better off with 5.8 billion fewer humans. The leftists at Newsweek are openly pleased that the West is becoming depopulated.

Gary L'Hommedieu of St. Luke's Cathedral in Orlando has this take on Schori's statements:

Katharine Jefferts Schori presides over a denomination whose numbers are falling like lightning from heaven. [...] Maybe it's not the fact that Episcopalians have watered down (or polluted) the gospel. Maybe it's not all the trendy innovations and social experiments. Maybe it's the religious expression of something more sinister from deep within our culture: a death wish.

Well not "death wish" in the Charles Bronson sense; more in the sense of Malcolm Muggeridge: not a form of active suicide or even a passion for danger; more a self-imposed decline, a systemic "failure to thrive". [...]

In nature survival and reproduction are one and the same. The urge not to reproduce is a fundamental negation of the life of that species or group. It's a failure to thrive — a flat, clinical way of saying the beginning of the end. [...]

This is a snapshot of a culture that has lost its will to survive.

Fortunately, the more grounded people are in conservative values, the more likely they are to raise their children instead of aborting them — a clear example of natural selection at its most beneficial.

Less fortunately for Western Civilization, cultural self-loathing and resulting depopulation are not problems the Islamic world needs to worry about. Mark Steyn contrasts Schori's self-satisfied nihilism with Fatma An-Najar, a 64-year-old Palestinian grandmother who recently became a heroine to her fellow Palestinians by blowing herself up in an attempt to kill some Jews. She left behind 41 grandchildren. That's about 40 times the average in some parts of Europe.

Meanwhile, actress Scarlett Johansson frets that if it were up to the President, we would abort too few of our children.

As Steyn concludes:

It's the intersection of demography and Islamism that makes time a luxury we can't afford.

The good news is that Schori's "stewardship of the earth" is not going to fall to the Episcopal Church, or to decadent degenerates like Johansson. The bad news (for us) is that Fatma An-Najar's 41 grandkids may each have 41 grandkids of their own.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:53 PM | Comments (97)

At Least Some Have Property Rights

Some think the abominable Kelo decision — which allowed the government to seize property from one private owner and give to another for the sake of increasing tax revenues — meant that Americans no longer enjoy basic property rights. But this is not so; some Americans enjoy such extensive property rights that their property is inviolate, even when they leave it on land they don't own — namely, derelicts in Fresno, California.

U.S. District Court Judge Oliver W. Wanger has ruled that the city's attempts to prevent itself from degenerating into a cross between a zombie movie and a leper colony by cleaning up hobo encampments must be put on hold while a lawsuit slowly seeps through the legal system.

The ACLU and the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights are behind the suit, which aims to punish police and sanitation workers for cleaning up bums' garbage. No longer may squatters encampments be bulldozed so that the public can make use of its land. As America takes another step in the direction of Third-World status, Maria Foscarinis of the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty crows:

This is very significant in protecting not just the rights of homeless people in Fresno, but nationally. It's the court saying, "Yes, there are legal rights, constitutional rights that are at issue here and this case needs to go forward."

An attorney for Fresno notes that the city doesn't have the space, money, or manpower to log and store all the garbage bums leave lying around. City officials add that squatter settlements are nuisances, safety hazards, and hotbeds of crime. As Captain Greg Garner testified:

We see evidence of drug use, we see human feces, we see other materials that we would be concerned about. If someone says this is my property, they're allowed to keep it.

To bad we can't all say the same.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:16 AM | Comments (3)

November 25, 2006

Moonbats Imagine

Kudos to Mike Rosen, for taking on the patron saint of baby boomer moonbats, John Lennon, by taking a closer look at the fatuous lyrics to the tune "Imagine," in which Lennon dreams about a nightmarish hippie dystopia to which the politically correct are expected to aspire:

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Even if you don't believe in rewards or punishment in the hereafter, responsible adults don't live just for today. They defer gratification and save for a rainy day and retirement. Think of the parable of the grasshopper and the ant.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

No, I can't imagine that. It's anti-historical and contrary to human nature. People are inherently tribal and nationalistic. They band together, linked by common cultures, superstitions, beliefs, values and preferred systems of political economy.

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

You're a dreamer. Never happen. The only way the world would be as one is under the guns of a militaristic, totalitarian regime. And even that would only be temporary. Empires invariably fall.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

Good heavens, no! This is right out of The Communist Manifesto. No possessions? You mean no property rights? That means no rewards, no incentives, no creativity and very little production. Moochers living off a dwindling pool of hard workers. Who's going to harvest the crops while the "dreamers" are smoking dope and flashing peace signs with that silly grin on their faces? What everyone owns, no one owns. Think of the graffiti on the walls of community-owned property like a New York City subway station men's room. By comparison, have you ever seen graffiti on the walls of a bathroom in someone's private home?

As Rosen illustrates, the "puerile lyrics [...] sound like a collaboration of Karl Marx, Cindy Sheehan and Dennis Kucinich." No wonder our culture has been deformed by moonbattery, if childish fools like John Lennon are treated like wise holy men.

Rosen was reminded of this moonbat anthem by recent pronouncements by Sir Elton John, who announced that all religion should be banned and lamented that Lennon isn't around to lead hippies into a resurgence. Sir Elton is the kind of guy who gets knighted in a generation that grew up listening to "Imagine."

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:33 AM | Comments (18)

Terrorism Defined by Iran

It appears that we do not have what it takes to follow through on the Bush Doctrine, as evidenced by the fact that we aren't fighting back against Iran, which continues to export terrorism into Iraq and which has enshrined suicide bombing as a central component of its own military doctrine.

Not that there's anything wrong with suicide bombing. It isn't terrorism; Christianity is terrorism. According to Hassan Abbasi, director of Iran's Doctrinal Analysis Center for Security Without Borders, the suicide murders of random civilians is a noble expression of Islam. Referring to the pretext for the Cartoon Intifada, Abbasi opines that

[German chancellor] Merkel and [U.S. president] Bush's support of the Danish newspaper, which insults Islam's prophet, has damaged their reputation in the Islamic world and has raised the question of whether Christianity, rather than Islam, is of terrorist nature.

This is terrorism:

This is not terrorism:

Got it? If so, you qualify as a full-fledged dhimmi. Reuters is hiring and will be pleased to receive your resume.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:56 AM | Comments (2)

O.J.: Victim of a "Modern-Day Lynching"

According to Eddie Jones of the Los Angeles Civil Rights Association, O.J. Simpson, who was able to walk away a free man after murdering two Caucasians after his lawyers skillfully played the race card to a sympathetic jury, is actually a victim of racism. Jones doesn't like it that News Corp. finally discovered the concept of shame and pulled "If I Did It," the book/TV interview combo designed to capitalize financially on the murders O.J. committed.

Jones explains:

O.J. should have been able to tell his side of his story for the book. He was exonerated and acquitted of all charges, but in the eyes of white America, he is still guilty. It's a modern-day lynching.

Yes, O.J. was exonerated. The poor guy's as innocent as Alcee Hastings.

That race card just keeps on getting played, to the benefit of no decent people.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:13 AM | Comments (2)

November 24, 2006

Let's Draft the Elderly

Someone flaky enough to support Charlie Rangel's insincere and demagogic call for reinstituting the military draft has been located, unsurprisingly in moonbat-infested Ithaca, New York, aka "The City of Evil." An editorial in the Ithaca Journal admits that Rangel is full of beans when he claims that the War on Terror is somehow oppressing minorities, but buys into the maudlin moonbat argument that we could avoid wars if only they were fought by the conscripted "children" of politicians, rather than professional soldiers.

But they do make an interesting point:

Should the consequences of waging war be shouldered by all members of society — the rich, the poor, the young and the old?

In other words, why should only soldiers have to shoulder the burden? Have you noticed how few of our senior citizens are fighting in Iraq? This particular imbalance has been seen in past wars also. To correct historical injustices, I propose that in the future, our military be staffed by draftees conscripted from retirement homes.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 3:19 PM | Comments (2)

Jimmy Carter Too Much of a Moonbat Even For Alan Dershowitz

Even his fellow libs are getting a bellyful of Jimmy "The Dhimmi" Carter, the sanctimonious kook whose disastrous presidency continues to haunt us to this day. Alan Dershowitz, generally not a critic of moonbattery, has chosen Huffington Post of all places to denounce Carter's venomous propagandizing against Israel.

Dershowitz describes Jimbo's recent diatribe "Palestine: Peace not Apartheid" as "indecent," and provides a long list of distortions, omissions, inaccuracies, and downright lies that can be found on its pages. Here's a good one:

Carter blames Israel, and exonerates Arafat, for the Palestinian refusal to accept statehood on 95% of the West Bank and all of Gaza pursuant to the Clinton-Barak offers of Camp David and Taba in 2000-2001. He accepts the Palestinian revisionist history, rejects the eye-witness accounts of President Clinton and Dennis Ross and ignores Saudi Prince Bandar's accusation that Arafat's rejection of the proposal was "a crime" and that Arafat's account "was not truthful" — except, apparently, to Carter. The fact that Carter chooses to believe Yasir Arafat over Bill Clinton speaks volumes.

What speaks volumes about the Left is that a character like Carter — who will always vehemently side with the bad guys, twisting reality into whatever deformed shapes might inflict propaganda damage on the United States and Israel — continues to be treated as something deserving more respect than slime mold.

Dershowitz's criticisms are unlikely to affect Carter's hallowed reputation in the realm of international moonbattery. Today he was even granted another honor as exalted as the Nobel Peace Prize that he was awarded explicitly for undermining his own country's policies in the Middle East. As Moonbattery exclusively reports, Jimbo has been immortalized with the new disturbingly lifelike Dhimmi Carter Pez dispenser:

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:44 AM | Comments (2)

Illegal Aliens Causing Chaos on the Roads

The illegal alien crisis is causing chaos on the streets of tiny De Queen, Arkansas, which averages one accident every week involving Hispanic drivers without licenses, many of whom apparently don't know how to drive.

According to Mayor Billy Ray McKelvy, the problem is not Hispanics in general, but specifically illegal immigrants, who usually don't have driver licenses — or insurance. Many are repeat offenders, whose cars are impounded for only a week or two when they get caught. One has collected six misdemeanor citations for driving without a license. Says McKelvy:

I think this is becoming a problem all over the country.

The average amount of damage per vehicle in these accidents was estimated at $3,000 — just one of the many costs of not defending our territorial integrity. Some apparently believe that we make it all back by driving down labor costs, but that's not much consolation to those whose pay is being driven down.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:25 AM | Comments (11)

British Bishops Object to Campus Persecution

Anglican and Catholic Bishops have had it with attempts to suppress Christianity on British campuses, complaining that Christians face "considerable opposition and discrimination" and that their rights of "freedom of expression, freedom of belief and freedom of association" have been violated.

The complaint follows news that Edinburgh University and other schools have used the ironic trick of employing antidiscrimination provisions to discriminate against Christians, suspending the privileges of Christian Unions on the grounds that they discriminate against non-Christians. To avoid being banned, the Christian Unions would have to allow atheists and Muslims to sit on their ruling committees and address their meetings.

The point of these absurd demands is of course to effectively ban Christian groups from college campuses. Imagine the uproar if someone tried to ban Muslim groups.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:07 AM | Comments (3)

November 23, 2006

Alcee Hastings: Give Me Post or the Conservatives Will Have Won

Here's how impeached former judge and Nancy Pelosi favorite Alcee Hastings explains why his fellow Dems should support him for Chair of the House Intelligence Committee: if someone who isn't a criminal gets the post instead, then the conservatives will have won. Cries Hastings:

I hope that my fate is not determined by Newt Gingrich, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michael Barone, Drudge, anonymous bloggers, and other assorted misinformed fools.

It's an honor to think that Moonbattery deserves to be included among that elite group of "anonymous bloggers" and "other assorted misinformed fools."

In the past, those who think that crooks like Hastings don't belong in positions of great responsibility have included not only "misinformed fools," but quite a few Democrats, including Pelosi herself — and, as Byron York notes:

Rep. Steny Hoyer, the future Majority Leader, also voted to impeach. And so did the lawmakers who will soon chair powerful House committees. Rep. Conyers, now in line to become chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Charles Rangel, soon to chair the Ways and Means Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Barney Frank, in line to head the Financial Services Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Henry Waxman, next chair of the Government Reform Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. John Dingell, in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. George Miller, soon to head the Education and the Workforce Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. David Obey, in line to chair the Appropriations Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Ike Skelton, next chair of the Armed Services Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. John Spratt, next in line for the Budget Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Howard Berman, next head of the Ethics Committee, voted to impeach. Rep. Tom Lantos, in line to chair the International Relations Committee, voted to impeach. And Rep. Louise Slaughter, next chair of the Rules Committee, voted to impeach.

So did other well-known Democratic lawmakers like Rep. John Lewis, Rep. (and later Sen.) Barbara Boxer, Rep. (and later Sen.) Charles Schumer, Rep. (and later Sen.) Richard Durbin, Rep. Ed Markey, Rep. Ron Dellums, Rep. Julian Dixon, and Rep. Richard Gephardt.

In fact, just about everybody in the House voted to impeach Judge Hastings: the vote was 413 to 3.

Like O.J., Hastings managed to squirm his way out of a conviction in criminal court, though the evidence had to be quite damning to earn that 413–3 vote. But O.J. might not be the best choice to chair the House Intelligence Committee either.

Hastings is right about this much: if he doesn't get the chair, conservatives will have won — because no self-respecting conservative would want to subject the country to Nancy Pelosi's conception of the "most ethical Congress in history."

Hat tips: Hot Air, Blue Crab Boulevard

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:20 AM

Scandinavia Draws Tourists With Animal Bordellos

Among the many things we have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving is that we are not domestic animals in progressive Scandinavia, where freakazoids shell out $85–170 for private parties with four-legged sex slaves.

Sex tourists reportedly travel to Denmark to visit animal bordellos from throughout northern Europe. According to a dissertation from the Institute of Criminology at the University of Oslo, 22% of Norwegian veterinarians have treated animals that they suspect of having been sexually molested by people.

You have to wonder just how low we'll sink before some sort of moral revulsion kicks in.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:16 AM | Comments (2)

Katrina Scammers Anything But Grateful

Unfortunately not everyone is thankful on Thanksgiving. After a church gave a $75,000 house to Joshua Thompson and his apparent wife, who claimed to have been left homeless by Katrina, the Thompsons flipped the house without ever moving in, walking off with a cool $88,000.

Said Jean Phillips, a real estate agent and member of the Temple of Deliverance Church of God in Christ:

They came in humble like they really needed a new start, and our hearts went out to them.

"Take it up with God," Thompson smirked to a TV reporter.

On a tip from Bill V.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:59 AM | Comments (2)

Rosie Finds Some Homophobia

It was not a good idea to have former American Idol twinkie Clay Aiken serve as guest co-host on "Live With Regis and Kelly." As co-host Kelly Ripa put it:

I don't think he was respectful in any way.

Aiken's behavior was so out of line, at one point he put his hand over Ripa's mouth to shut her up — something that just isn't done on talk shows, even as a joke. Ripa responded with as much good nature as she could:

I don't know where that hand's been, honey.

Considering that Aiken had been shaking hands with numerous audience members, it was not only disrespectful but unhygienic to slap his paw over his co-host's mouth. Yet Rosie O'Donnell found a more sinister motive for Ripa's response, declaring on "The View" that it was homophobic. While Ripa was thinking of germs, Rosie's mind naturally gravitated to a delightful homosexual activity called fisting.

Whether Aiken is gay or only seems to be is not known.

On a tip from Monsoon.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:32 AM | Comments (4)

November 22, 2006

Wal-Mart Still Trying to Placate Moonbats

In an attempt to placate hostile liberals like the Breck Girl and the union goons at WakeUpWalMart.com, Wal-Mart continues to shoot itself in the foot by pandering to moonbattery. Now it is donating $75,000 to Al Gore's alarmist Climate Project.

It has also grovelingly announced that 3,900 of its stores and Sam's Club outlets are selling Prince Albert's movie and book "An Inconvenient Truth." Customers have the option of buying the DVD with a compact fluorescent light bulb, which will supposedly save the planet from climate fluctuation by conserving energy.

Past pandering has included a $25,000 payoff to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, which has annoyed enough conservatives to cost business.

Fred Smith Jr. of the Competitive Enterprise Institute observes that Wal-Mart is good at business but not at politics:

Because it hasn't been able to legitimize itself for what it is — an extremely creative, efficient way of distributing goods and services Americans need — it's been attacked.

Why should Wal-Mart — or any other successful company — have to "legitimize itself"? More from Smith:

The business school corporate social responsibility crowd says: "If you'll only go green or push workplace diversity or anti-sexism or anything but your business, you'll be loved in America."

But...

A corporation is not a government. It's not responsible for everything. It's a special-purpose entity to do something that is critically important: provide a good product or service at affordable prices. If there were more of that around the world, we would be in a much, much better planet than we are today.

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:05 PM | Comments (4)

Muslim Schoolteacher Hides Anti-American Message

In yet another appalling example of public school teachers attempting to impose moonbattery on impressionable kids, a Johnston County, North Carolina high school teacher named Khalid Chahhou gave students an assignment that involved translating vocabulary words and finding them in a grid of letters. The word search added up to a whole paragraph. Here it is:

Sharon killed a lot of innocent people in Palestine. Hamas is not a terrorist group. They have the right to defend their country. This is something that forms part of our freedom and dignity. Allah help destroy this body of evil that is making human life so miserable. Destroy America, a country where evil is sponsored.

Chahhou was actually supposed to be teaching Spanish, not Jihad For Dhimmis. He also teaches Arabic and religious studies at a mosque in Cary. He's a native of Morocco, which for some reason he left for a country he wants to see destroyed.

Naturally parents were disturbed to find an Islamic extremist teaching their kids. But school official Steve Scroggs shrugs that teachers can't be discriminated against for their political or religious affiliations — even if their religion is a death cult and the political views involve advocating the destruction of our country. Says Scroggs:

You simply can't ask someone's political ideology during an interview, any more than you can ask them their religion, or any more than you can ask them other personal information.

Fortunately Chahhou resigned, and CAIR appears not to have stuck its nose into the matter.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:28 AM | Comments (4)

Janet Reno Weighs in Against War on Terror

Noted libertarian Janet Reno, aka "The Butcher of Waco" — who as Bill Clinton's Attorney General was responsible not only for keeping the law off her boss's back but also for sending in tanks to kill American children in Waco and storm troopers to abduct a Cuban child in Miami so that he could be sent back to the totalitarian hellhole from which his mother had died rescuing him — has weighed in on the War on Terror. She appears to be against it.

Along with other former Justice Department officials, she has filed a friend-of-the-court brief in the case of enemy combatant Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri, a citizen not of this country but of Qatar, who was arrested for being an al-Qaeda sleeper agent. As he cools his heels in a South Carolina military prison, al-Marri is the only enemy combatant held inside the USA.

Reno and friends want him to be tried in a regular court of law, O.J. style, as if he were a common criminal and not a foreign terrorist.

If foreign al-Qaeda operatives are granted the civilian jury trials to which they are clearly not entitled, the implications should be obvious. Intelligence officials will have to reveal secret information that will cripple efforts to infiltrate terrorist networks. Witnesses will be subject to retaliation. Terrorists wise enough to get themselves arrested in Keith Ellison's district will be found not guilty by reason of sympathetic juries.

Like Jimmy Carter, Reno had her chance to do her job and did not do it well. Now that she no longer holds her position, she ought to hold her tongue.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:16 AM | Comments (8)

On the Moonbat Menu

On the moonbat menu this Thanksgiving will be the world-famous Tofurky roast, over 1 million of which have been sold since its launch in 1995. It's vaguely like turkey, but contains no animal products, being synthesized out of a tofu–wheat protein blend.

According to Seth Tibbott, founder of the company that invented the product, sales are a lot healthier in blue states.

Now if they could just replace all those macho, violent football games with something more sensitive, badminton tournaments maybe...

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:28 AM | Comments (19)

November 21, 2006

Moonbats Exploit Thanksgiving to Preach Anti-American Revisionist History

San Francisco's Bill Morgan is among the schoolteachers who have replaced traditional celebrations of Thanksgiving with what the America-loathing propagandists at AP are pleased to call a "more realistic look at the complex relationship between Indians and white settlers." On the taxpayer's dime, he walks into his third-grade class wearing a pilgrim hat made out of black construction paper and snatches away the kids' belongings, announcing that they now belong to him because he "discovered" them.

Get it? Our ancestors didn't settle America, they stole it — or at least that's what children are being taught by a generation of warped moonbats who use our educational system to train children to hate their own country.

Even some Indians have reservations (so to speak) about ramming down little kids' throats a revisionist version of Thanksgiving that perverts a peaceful feast shared by settlers and natives into yet another excuse to denounce America. Says Los Angeles substitute teacher Chuck Narcho, a member of the Maricopa and Tohono O'odham tribes:

If you are going to teach, you need to keep it positive.

Others, however, wallow in moonbattery, including Omaha member Laverne Villalobos, who wants Thanksgiving reenactments banned from her local school because she considers the holiday a day of mourning. Presumably anyone with Indian blood should spend the day sulking, and the rest of us should spend it hating ourselves.

Needless to say, no kids will be learning that prior to European settlement, the Americas were populated by stone-age savages who had not even advanced to the level of using wheels or riding animals, and who were known to indulge in ritual torture, cannibalism, and human sacrifice. When civilization arrived, the natives frequently raided settlements, burning them and abducting women and children, whom they enslaved. I'm glad to leave all this out of third-graders' Thanksgivings, if the moonbats could just drop the "we stole this country" crapola.

On a tip from Brooklyn Red Leg.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:47 PM | Comments (17)

Hangdog Murtha

This ought to break some hearts. It seems John "Abscam Jack" Murtha, radical Islam's best friend in Congress prior to Keith Ellison's election, is not taking it well that he lost his Pelosi-backed bid for Majority Leader to Steny Hoyer. Via A Little More to the Right:

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:16 PM | Comments (4)

American Diplomat Wins Award For Denouncing USA on Al-Jazeera

It's nice to see that at last they're taking action on Alberto Fernandez, the Senior US diplomat who used al-Jazeera as a soapbox to denounce the "arrogance and stupidity" of American policy. From Fox News:

Well after a month of silence, the State Department is finally speaking out on Fernandez — not to condemn him, but to praise his "integrity, courage, [and] sensitivity."

Fernandez was selected from three department nominees for the Edward R. Murrow Award for Excellence in Public Diplomacy by Tufts University... for his work with pan-Arab media ... to increase the number of appearances by U.S. officials.

He receives a certificate signed by Secretary Condoleezza Rice — and $10,000 in cash.

When we finally throw the UN out of the US, let's make sure the State Department goes with it.

Hat tip: LGF

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:35 PM | Comments (5)

Mexico's Leftist Loser Swears Himself In As President

Making up in comic genius what he lacks in electability, left-winger Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, who lost the Mexican presidential election last July 2 to Felipe Calderon, has sworn himself in as President of Mexico.

Senator and "human rights activist" Rosario Ibarra placed a presidential sash across Lopez Obrador's shoulder, a full three weeks late for Halloween.

In an excellent bargain for Mexicans, Lopez Obrador pledged "to protect the rights of Mexicans and to defend Mexico's sovereignty and patrimony, and ensure the happiness and welfare of the people" — all presumably free of charge, since imaginary presidents probably don't show up on the government payroll.

Less beneficially, the platform for Lopez Obrador's parallel government will call for more of the street protests that have already injured the Mexican economy by prompting travel warnings from the American Embassy. The shadow president plans to draw up a new constitution that will limit the power of corporations, the media, and the "neo-fascist oligarchy" that voters chose over him, as well as dictate to the USA whether we can build a fence to keep out Mexican invaders.

In an apparent bid to get himself thrown in jail — if not a mental asylum — Lopez Obrador is scheming to foil Calderon's inauguration ceremony on December 1. Sounding remarkably like a BDS-afflicted Gore supporter, the make-pretend President announced:

We are going to make Calderon realize at all times that he is an illegitimate leader.

Columnist Armando Fuentes aptly described the phony swearing-in ceremony as "a circus act, a farce." Lopez Obrador's Democratic Revolutionary Party is second largest in Mexico's Congress.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 11:24 AM | Comments (3)

Arrogant Imams Kicked Off Plane For Terrifying Passengers

Six Muslims were removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix after they decided to launch into a swinging rendition of Allahu Akbar on board the plane.

The six were on their way home from a conference of the North American Imams Federation, which was attended by Keith Ellison, radical Islam's new representative in Congress.

As if oblivious to the effect it would have on other passengers, who would naturally interpret it as a prelude to yet another Muslim terrorist attack, three of them stood up in the plane and started reciting Islamic prayers.

After a passenger expressed concern about their ominous behavior, airport security workers asked them to leave the plane; they refused and were removed forcibly.

Sniveled Omar Shahin of Phoenix:

I never felt bad in my life like that. I never. Six imams. Six leaders in this country. Six scholars in handcuffs. It's terrible.

The heart bleeds, doesn't it? Of course, the terrified passengers might not have felt great about the experience either, but that's what they get for not being multicultural enough to embrace Islam.

Naturally CAIR — a poisonous cross between Hamas, the ACLU, and Jesse Jackson/Al Sharpton — was quick to arrive on the scene. Yelps spokesman Ibrahim Hooper:

CAIR will be filing a complaint with relevant authorities in the morning over the treatment of the imams to determine whether the incident was caused by anti-Muslim hysteria by the passengers and/or the airline crew. Because, unfortunately, this is a growing problem of singling out Muslims or people perceived to be Muslims at airports, and it's one that we've been addressing for some time.

For some time is right: ever since this happened:

To its immense credit, US Airways refused to put the praying imams on another flight (according to Hooper), probably due to their openly intransigent attitude, which indicated that they would only make another scene and scare the passengers again. No doubt the company will be sued into bankruptcy for showing a little backbone on behalf of its customers.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 9:49 AM | Comments (8)

Europeans Buying Into Global Warming — With Other People's Cash

Europeans seem to be swallowing global warming hysteria hook, line, and sinker. Yet there are limits to how far they will go to rescue the planet from the threat of warmer weather.

A poll for the Financial Times found that 86% of the population in Britain, Germany, France, Italy, and Spain believe that humans are contributing to climate change; 45% even believe that this will pose a threat to them and their families.

If all they have to do is give up some freedom, there's no problem: 68% would support restrictions on their behavior and purchases to reduce the alleged threat. But using economically efficient alternative energy is a different matter. Only 12% strongly favored investment in new nuclear capacity, whereas 29% were strongly opposed to building new nuclear facilities.

The answer, according to Europeans, is renewables: 85% want their governments to spend more on renewable energy. But apparently citizens expect governments to spend someone else's money, not their own, because less that a quarter would give up as much as one week's wages.

On a tip from Beef Brisket.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:46 AM | Comments (5)

Hollyweird Bimbo Decries Unaborted Children

Actress Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) has joined the long list of dim-witted entertainment industry degenerates who offer President Bush the ultimate compliment by heaping scorn upon him. Johansson, who piously crows that she is so "socially aware" (and presumably socially active) that she gets tested for HIV twice a year, warns of the dark fate that will befall us if we follow the moral example of Christians like W instead of her own Hollyweird crowd:

We are supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions.

The horror.

On a tip from Bill V.

Posted by Van Helsing at 8:02 AM | Comments (14)

November 20, 2006

Moonbats Plot to Defend Ayatollahs With Global Orgasm

Warning: you may soon experience a change in Earth's energy field. GlobalOrgasm.org is planning a Global Orgasm to save Iran's terrorist regime from American imperialism. The cosmic occurrence will take place on "Solstice Day," December 22. From their Mission Statement:

The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth's energy is NOW!

Anyone can participate. All you have to do is have sex and think moonbatty thoughts.

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high-energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

Results will be measured on the "worldwide monitor system of the Global Consciousness Project." This is only the first of seven Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace events, which will reach their thundering climax on the 2012 December solstice, "when the Mayan Calendar ends with a new beginning."

GlobalOrgasm.org is the brainchild of Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell, who also founded Baring Witness, a cult of nudist kooks who spell out anti-war messages with their naked bodies in public.

Reffell has managed to cram human history into his cramped hippie ideology. It seems that conflicts between societies are simply an outgrowth of men attempting to impress potential mates, a phenomenon he sums up as "my missile is bigger than your missile."

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:21 PM | Comments (14)

Rangel Pulls the Draft Ploy Again

Charlie Rangel is at it once again with his favorite political ploy, loudly calling for the reinstatement of the military draft.

He pulled the same stunt before the invasion of Iraq in January 2003, and again earlier this year. It went nowhere in the Republican Congress. With Dems soon to take control, leaving Rangel himself at the helm of the Ways and Means Committee, he is digging it up again, despite a nearly universal lack of interest.

No doubt Rangel knows that 70% of the population opposes the draft, that the military doesn't want one, and that there is no way a bill bringing it back will make it through Congress before circumstances change so that a draft would actually be necessary. The point is to draw attention to himself, allowing him to indulge in the irresponsible demagoguery that has been the hallmark of his career. An example:

There's no question in my mind that this president and this administration would never have invaded Iraq, especially on the flimsy evidence that was presented to the Congress, if indeed we had a draft and members of Congress and the administration thought that their kids from their communities would be placed in harm's way.

Whereas no one much cares what happens to the noble soldiers in our all-volunteer force, who are lazy and stupid — just ask John "Botched Joke" Kerry.

On tips from nanc and Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:53 AM | Comments (19)

British Soldier Banned From Harrods on Remembrance Day

Here's one to file under "But They Support the Troops":

Remembrance Day (November 11) is the equivalent of our Veterans Day. It's honored in Canada, Australia, and of course Britain, where this last Remembrance Day a British soldier was not allowed to enter Harrods department store in London lest his uniform upset the other shoppers.

Lt. Daniel Lenherr had just taken part in a parade honoring those who died defending Britain's freedom when a security guard refused to let him into Harrods with his wife and 1-year-old son, in accordance with Harrods policy.

British shoppers should note that rivals Selfridges and Harvey Nichols are open-minded enough to let uniformed soldiers shop in their stores.

On a tip from Steve.

Posted by Van Helsing at 10:15 AM | Comments (3)

Moonbat Math

Math isn't warm and fuzzy enough for moonbats, so they have found a substitute to teach children. Called "fuzzy math," it takes the emphasis off drills and memorization and wanders off into touchy-feel theories about how children must find their own path to the answer. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

One Seattle area mother complains:

When my oldest child, an A-plus stellar student, was in sixth grade, I realized he had no idea, no idea at all, how to do long division, so I went to school and talked to the teacher, who said, "We don't teach long division; it stifles their creativity."

As a result of flaky educators putting moonbattery ahead of insensitive 2+2=4 kind of stuff, the math skills of American kids lag way behind other parts of the world. Observes R. James Milgram, a math professor at Stanford:

There's increasing understanding that the math situation in the United States is a complete disaster.

But that's only the point of view of a mathematician. The educrats who design curriculums prefer dreamy theories about students constructing their own problem-solving strategies to boring multiplication tables. Consequently parents who want their kids to learn math are forced to hire tutors.

It's not that they aren't getting anything at all for the zillions of tax dollars that keep public schools afloat. The kids may not learn long division, but at least they're taught how to put condoms on cucumbers and all about the racist horrors of American capitalist exploitation.

On a tip from V the K.

Posted by Van Helsing at 7:48 AM | Comments (22)

November 19, 2006

Botched Joke Still Wants to Be Prez

After insulting American troops once again, this time implying that they are stupid and lazy, John "Botched Joke" Kerry crept back into his crypt for awhile, so as not to cost Dems the midterm elections. But now he has crept right back out again, and still suffers from the unnerving delusion that he could one day become Commander in Chief of the armed forces he so often maligns.

When asked if the "stuck in Iraq" insult that he lamely attempted to pass off as a botched joke would undermine another run for the White House in 2008, Hanoi John replied, "Not in the least."

Here's what Kerry has to say about keeping out of people's faces in the last days prior to the 2006 elections:

Since we had very close races, I made the decision to make certain that I didn't distract. The results speak for themselves.

By Jean François' own reckoning, the Dems won Congress because he was willing to go away for awhile. Yet he will probably run for POTUS again. Go for it, Botched Joke!

Posted by Van Helsing at 12:23 PM | Comments (7)

November 18, 2006

Multiculturalism Lays Claim to UGA Restrooms

The University of Georgia at Athens is the latest to designate "gender neutral" restrooms:

Michael Shutt, an assistant dean of students and director of the university's year-old Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Resource Center, said the move came out of safety and comfort concerns for transgender students.

Shutt frets that

there is always the chance that people can be harassed in restrooms if they don't look like they fit the norm and there can sometimes be assault or abuse in those cases.

Apparently there are still enough men on college campuses that if a guy wearing women's clothes starts exposing himself in the ladies room, somebody's boyfriend might be waiting for him when he comes out. It's nice to see that remnants of civilization still persist even within the ivory tower.

On a tip from The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah.

Posted by Van Helsing at 1:45 PM | Comments (10)

A Moonbat Dies in Cuba

It's always a pleasure to report good news: Black Panther William Lee Brent, who hijacked a passenger jet to communist Cuba in 1969 and has subsisted there ever since, has died of bronchial pneumonia.

Even Brent came to miss America, but he had no regrets about the hijacking, boasting:

I was a soldier in the war for black liberation.

It's anyone's guess why black Americans would be better off due to a maniacal member of a criminal organization hijacking a plane full of innocent civilians to one of our country's worst enemies.

Brent ran off to Cuba to escape trial for his involvement in a 1968 shootout in which two police officers were seriously wounded. Not even Castro was very happy to have him, but sending him back to the USA to stand trial would have been the responsible thing to do, so Brent was allowed to sit around in an apartment listening to jazz records until his miserable life finally petered out.

V the K asks:

So, which comes first? Samuel L Jackson wins an Oscar for playing him in the movie Panther? Or former Black Panther lawyer Hillary Strap-On Clinton nominates him for a Congressional Medal of Freedom? (Following in the footsteps of her Consort, BJ Clinton, who pardoned a bunch of terrorists on her behalf.)