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July 8, 2006

Yet Another Argument for Vouchers

Posted by Dave Blount at July 8, 2006 8:46 AM

Mona Charen has published a handout entitled "Dysfunctional 'Family Rules'" that was given to a ninth grader by a health teacher in Plymouth, New York. Here it is, without copyediting:

Here is a list of some of the unworkable rules found in dysfunctional families

Boys shouldn't cry. (they should be like diminutive adult males, independent, self contained, and tough. they should bear pain and hurt with a kind of stoicism and emotional flatness exemplified by rugged males in cigarette commercials and by romantic depictions of fighters and the wild, wild west.)

Girls should always be nice. (Talk nice talk. Never say anything negative. Do nice things. Never do anything that would make someone look askance at you. Nice girls DON'T.)

Elders always deserve respect and come first. (No matter how the elder behaves, the elder must be treated gingerly, for and elder has power — even if it used capriciously and irrationally.)

There is only one way to do things. (That is, there's only one RIGHT way to do things. There's only one right way to handle a spouse, to deal with the kids, to have a birthday party, to dance . . .)

Don't talk, think or feel about sex, money, and feelings. (Talk . . . well, talk stirs things up, gets people upset, well it just causes more trouble. When it comes to sex, money and feelings, silence takes on a precious eloquence. Silence is not only golden, it's high grade platinum.)

Work first, play later. (Much later . . .)

The older child must always set an example for the younger children. (Good example that is.)

Children should always obey their parents. (And it's the parents job to see that their children make the RIGHT decisions — the decisions the parents want. Then when the child reaches the magic age of emancipation — 18 or 21 — the Good Decision Fairy will plink the child on the skull with a charmed wand and make the child a full-fledged adult who always makes Good Decisions.)

Don't talk about your family to anyone outside the family. (Outsiders will just spread malicious gossip. So always pretend that everything's OK at home, even if it isn't. there's nothing worse than being disloyal to your family.)

So in order to be functional, a modern family should consist of boys who snivel, girls who say nasty things and who DO, elders who are disrespected and disobeyed, traditions that are ignored, private matters that are aired in public, responsibilities that are blown off, and older children who set poor examples for their siblings.

If public education cannot be wrested away from the sort of moonbats who would come up with this list, it needs to be abolished, before it can remake society in its own obscene image.