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July 17, 2006
Tree-Dwelling Moonbat Presses Charges
A New England logger named Al Trepanier could be facing criminal charges for cutting a notch out of a pine tree while a moonbat was perching amid its branches.
The tree stands on the property line between Melisa DeMauro's organic farm and Michael Kourkoulakos' yard. Kourkoulakos, a tree specialist, wanted the 150-year-old tree cut down out of safety concerns, and DeMauro reportedly agreed on condition that she be given advance notice and other trees be planted in its place.
But when Trepanier showed up prematurely to make the tree into firewood, DeMauro went berserk. Taking a page from the playbook of deranged actress Daryl Hannah, who recently climbed into somebody else's tree to express her aversion to the concept of private property, DeMauro took to the tree and refused to come down. Unimpressed with her devotion to moonbattery, Trepanier cut a little notch out of the tree before leaving.
Gasped DeMauro:
I felt life and death. I never thought in this lifetime I'd know what it feels like to be a tree that's getting cut down. I feel like me and this tree are the same person.
DeMauro has requested that attempted murder and assault and battery charges be filed against Trepanier. She alleges that he also threw surveyor's stakes at her as she sat in the tree. But according to DeMauro,
This is not about revenge. I just really feel like we all have a lot of healing to do and the only way we can do that is by taking responsibility for our actions.
Even after Trepanier gave up on cutting down the tree, DeMauro stayed up there for several days, although she did climb down at one point to host a summer solstice vegetarian dinner. Kourkoulakos agreed not to cut the tree down for the time being, but DeMauro continued to lurk among the branches anyway. While not hosting organic dinners, she subsisted on pine needles, which she described as "very tasty."
DeMauro's friend Heidi Feinstein, who owns the Life Alive Urban Oasis and Organic Cafe in Lowell, Massachusetts, was "not surprised at all" that DeMauro wouldn't come out of the tree, since "Melisa is a deeply committed environmentalist."
At least, she certainly ought to be committed.
Hat tip: Caption This!
Posted by Van Helsing at July 17, 2006 9:45 AM
Comments
You animal! Haven't you ever heard a tree cry?
Posted by: Number 2 at July 17, 2006 10:04 AM
Hey, she's not grotesquely ugly! At least in this picture.
Posted by: Donald at July 17, 2006 11:10 AM
She may not be ugly, but those tree hugging hippies don't shave ... anything.
Nasty
Posted by: mb at July 17, 2006 11:21 AM
Sounds like this Granola C*nt Muscle had to step down from this chunk o'lumber to rinse out her menstrul sponge. I say crank up the chainsaws and make her into another Rachel Corrie. Dirty Field Hippies!
Posted by: Bryherb at July 17, 2006 11:31 AM
UPDATE as of 7/12/06
http://www.lowellsun.com/local/ci_4041160
Looks like a decision will come by next week. This guy who wants the tree down is in Massachussetts, even if the tree is on his property he doesnt stand a chance of winning the right to cut the tree down. There is no such thing as private property there - unless you are Ted Kennedy trying to kill an offshore wind farm project.
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/06/23/woman_stays_
planted_in_her_cause/?rss_id=Boston+Globe+--+Today's+paper+A+to+Z
"Swinging in a hammock 20 feet above ground yesterday, Melisa DeMauro proclaimed: ``I feel one with the tree.""
She feels "one with the tree"? Does that mean she found a branch stump and has become "intimate" with the tree???? Will these be the first marriage between a human granola chomper and a plant? It will take alot of material to make a tux for the groom!
As for the charges against the guy? If that granola chomping wench makes them stick it will be proof judges in Mass. are even more insane than Howard "The Scream Heard Round the World" Dean.
Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at July 17, 2006 12:14 PM
"I feel like me and this tree are the same person".
There's a Made For TV movie script in there.
Posted by: vsoops at July 17, 2006 12:29 PM
This we be what DeMauros child will look like when it grows up:
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0255477/Ss/0255477/1216-321.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0255477
Whos your daddy? A tree. That Treely disturbing!
Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at July 17, 2006 12:32 PM
Actually, tree-hugging isn't just confined to the conventionally-challenged set. My HOA (Home Owner's Associations) has in its covenant, a stipulation that permision must be obtained before cutting down a tree on ones own property.
Posted by: ex-expat at July 17, 2006 1:16 PM
funny post
Posted by: Mickey at July 17, 2006 3:09 PM
While not hosting organic dinners, she subsisted on pine needles, which she described as "very tasty."
This might explain her behaviour. Pine needles contain small but significant quantities of cyanide. Not enough to actually kill you, mind, but eniough to have a horribly deleterious effect on the brain. Consuming small quantities of cyanide over a long period renders you immune to poisoning, but it causes permanent brain damage at the same time. You end up safe, sure, but also too stupid to be worth killing in the first place.
Posted by: Archonix at July 17, 2006 3:13 PM
Some years ago (when I live - God help me! - in the Baltimore Washington corridor) I knew a man who was having trouble getting the town he lived in to let him cut down a tree that was clearly dying .... and also clearly going to reduce his house to kindling if allowed to fall naturally. He went around and around with the local Authorities and every time he thought he'd cleared the last hurdle some dingbat would protest the decision and start it all up again.
He finally brought his lawyer to a town meeting and had the man explain to the town just how much money the could expect to be sued for if the tree totaled his house because THEY dragged their feet over an obvious danger. I don't recall the exact number but it was at least seven figures - the value of his property plus a hefty surcharge for risking his neck.
Posted by: C. S. P. Schofield at July 17, 2006 6:35 PM
Sounds like the "Democratic Peoples Republic of Montgomery County" ;-)
Question is, did the person in question fianlly cut the tree down?
Have a neighbor across the street who is now minus kitchen & manster bedroom all beacuse of a 170 + year old red oak tree that came crashing down during a recent storm. Trees are nice, but too much of anything nice is not a good thing.
Posted by: ex-expat at July 18, 2006 3:22 PM
