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July 13, 2006

ALF Terrorizes the Wrong House

The terrorist moonbats of the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) attempted to firebomb the Bel-Air home of UCLA researcher Lynn Fairbanks to punish her for working with primates. Actually, they left their Molotov cocktail on the front porch of Fairbanks' 70-year-old neighbor.

According to ALF, Fairbanks has been using monkeys to study "psychological, psychiatric and social problems such as Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, substance abuse, criminality and violence," which would certainly make her an appropriate target for violent criminals who clearly suffer from psychological, psychiatric, and social problems, no doubt have difficulty focusing their helter-skelter minds, and seem to drink more than their share of bong water — except that according to UCLA, that's not what Fairbanks studies.

There aren't many things that animal rights nuts get right, which is fortunate — otherwise people would get hurt.

Posted by Van Helsing at July 13, 2006 2:59 PM