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July 20, 2006
A Glimpse Inside Dick Gregory's Skull
George W. Bush isn't the only one to aspire to the White House who spoke before the NAACP this week. The dubious honor is also held by Dick Gregory, who shared with his audience an amazing array of previously unknown information.
His revelation that the "insane, racist system" that allowed him the opportunity to become a successful comedian "turns ordinary people into violent criminals" will be old news to your average English professor. But Gregory was able to pull much more original assertions out of his hat — or wherever it is that he pulls them out of.
Here's an example:
White, rich, middle-class children have as much or more truancy and high school dropouts than poor blacks in the ghetto.
And another:
White teenagers in rural America are 83 times more likely to use crack than a black in a large, urban city, but they make you think it's black because they paint a black face on it, and you grab it.
Not only racism keeps the black man down. Pollution does too. "The FBI has documents on the relationship between lead exposure and homicide," Gregory revealed, but "nobody knows about it." Nobody, that is, except Dick Gregory.
Pollution is so serious because "polluted water can cause brain damage that turns ordinary people into violent criminals." Naturally anything this horrific will lead us back to our racist system:
They convince you that I'm just a heathen and I murder just 'cause I want to murder [but] I murder because something's in my food, something's in my water.
Unsurprisingly, it was the white man who put it there.
Malt liquor is made by white beer companies but only sold in black neighborhoods, and you don't get suspicious? They put a thing in it called manganese, and once you get so much manganese in you, you will kill your momma, but they've got you believing that's normal for you to act that way.
As if Gregory's bizarre allegations hadn't strained credulity far enough, he then went completely over the top by claiming that the work of the increasingly anachronistic NAACP is vital to the black community.
Posted by Van Helsing at July 20, 2006 9:48 PM
Comments
Somebody needs to ask him whats in his water. I wish he would have died on his hunger strike.
Posted by: Mickey at July 23, 2006 10:57 PM
Be nice now, we all will die soon, even you.
Posted by: Barrett at July 24, 2006 5:07 PM
