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June 13, 2006
Iowa Puts the Breck Girl in First
The cheesy but boyishly handsome trial lawyer John Edwards (aka the Breck Girl) led the pack of Democratic presidential contenders in a recent poll of likely Iowa caucus participants with 30% of the vote.
To give an idea of the caliber shyster we are dealing with in Edwards, here he is duping a jury into thinking he can channel the soul of a brain-damaged child:
I have to tell you right now — I didn't plan to talk about this — right now I feel her, I feel her presence. She's inside me and she's talking to you. . . . And this is what she says to you. She says, "I don't ask for your pity. What I ask for is your strength. And I don't ask for your sympathy, but I do ask for your courage."
Their courage, that is, in helping him loot the health care system.
Speaking of threats to our health care system, supposed frontrunner Shrillary Clinton finished second with 26%, possibly because she hasn't been to Iowa since 2003, which might be when this picture was taken:
Perhaps she should spend more time campaigning as opposed to indulging in high times with her friends.
John Kerry lurched to a distant third place with only 12%.
It looks like it's time to stick a fork in Hanoi John. But a career with the Teletubbies is still a viable option.
With thanks to Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at June 13, 2006 7:40 AM
Comments
I think you put Hillary's face at the wrong end of the cow.
Posted by: Jason at June 13, 2006 8:05 AM
The thing you want to keep in mind about those Hawkeyes is that they have a long history of electing or nominating fools they think might destroy themselves in interesting and entertaining fashion.
John "I used to work for the Addams Family" Kerry and Hillary "I'll do anything for power, look who I married" Clinton have already had their turn in the barrel. Watching them do it again won't offer any new laughs.
Posted by: C. S. P. Schofield at June 13, 2006 9:01 AM
LOOOOOOOOOL!
Beautiful, just beautiful!
I love Photoshop!
Posted by: Doug at June 13, 2006 1:44 PM
Has anyone noticed that Edwards has "girl-hands"? They look like a good, firm shake would crush them. Maybe he should switch with Cindy "Man-hands" Sheehan.
Posted by: nikko at June 13, 2006 2:15 PM
Nikko, that would only serve to cement his image as something of a frankenstein's monster.
Posted by: Archonix at June 13, 2006 4:27 PM
Ah democrats.
The club where men are girly-girls
and women like their lap dances from some chick
named "sparkle plenty".
Posted by: Jael at June 13, 2006 11:55 PM
