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May 30, 2006

Saint Al Purchases Eco-Indulgences

Posted by Dave Blount at May 30, 2006 8:01 AM

Fresh off having his messianic ego pumped to a new immensity at Cannes, Al Gore has popped up at the Hay Festival in Britain, where he bellowed about the "planetary emergency" that is about to engulf us all in cosmic doom if we don't regulate the American economy to a standstill.

Insufficiently taxed and regulated carbon emissions constitute a "danger which could bring the end of civilization!" Al intoned. Without video, you can only imagine his eyes popping like the Runaway Bride's, his arms pinwheeling wildly.

On a more sober note, Gore glumly observed that most Americans don't perceive the miniscule effect carbon emissions might have on natural climate fluctuations to be a problem. Now members of the global warming cult getting into a position to sabotage the economy — that would be a problem.

We have ten years left, according to Prince Albert, before "crossing the point of no return." After this, progressives will presumably give up on trying to hobble the economy, since it will be too late to save planet Earth anyway.

Undoubtedly, Al's tireless jetting around to promote global warming hysteria emits a lot more carbon than a fleet of Hummers in constant motion. Yet the man who never gets tired of saying "I used to be the next President" remains pure in his heart by "purchasing verifiable reductions in CO2 elsewhere."