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May 27, 2006

Mini Molester Followup

Not everyone is incensed that Nebraska judge Kristine Cecava let a child molester off with probation on the grounds that at 5' 1", he's too short to serve time.

Said Joe Mangano, secretary of the National Organization of Short Statured Adults (no I didn't make that up):

I'm assuming a short inmate would have a much more difficult time than a large inmate. It's good to see somebody looking out for someone who is a short person.

But others disagree that the special privileges due to people for belonging to this obscure victim group should include a get-out-of-jail-free card. Even the local chapter of the ACLU reports that no one has ever come to the ACLU whining about height discrimination, and neither the U.S. nor the Nebraska constitution provides protections based on height. A spokesman for the state prison systems says there are protections to help inmates who feel threatened, but no one has ever resorted to them because of their height — and some prisoners are shorter than Richard Thompson, the pint-sized child molester who Cecava worries would not enjoy jail.

Observed State Senator Ernie Chambers:

If shortness is an excuse and protection from going to prison, short people ought to rob banks and do everything else they would wind up going to prison for.

Maybe Willie Wonka should move his chocolate factory to Nebraska and take up organized crime. Imagine the havoc his Oompa-Loompas could cause with their stature-based immunity. They might want to start their crime spree by burglarizing Judge Cecava's house.

Hat tip: William

Posted by Van Helsing at May 27, 2006 10:48 AM

Comments

Posted by: BenSittin at May 27, 2006 11:54 AM

Posted by: BenSittin at May 27, 2006 2:46 PM