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April 16, 2006
Ludwig Minelli, the Swiss Doctor Death
Apparently some feel that Europeans are not killing themselves off rapidly enough through abortion and failure to reproduce. Swiss lawyer Ludwig Minelli wants to open a chain of "suicide clinics" that will help speed things along.
Minelli's current Dignitas clinic strives to lift the taboo against suicide; after all, why should people think that killing themselves is a bad thing? Another goal is to alert people to the risks of attempting suicide incompetently, hard as it is to imagine anything riskier than attempting suicide competently. But Dignitas clinics aren't just for talking about suicide; they're for providing assistance in committing it.
Minelli already has 450 corpses to his credit. His clinic specializes in rather expensive cocktails — a sodium pentobarbital and water will run you $3,500. But why complain? You can't take it with you.
Part of Minelli's business plan is to extend his clientele to the mentally ill. A manic-depressive is currently fighting in Switzerland's Supreme Court for the right to avail himself of Minelli's services. Minelli also wants to offer his special treatment to Alzheimer patients.
"We never say no," says Switzerland's Dr. Death.
Hat tip: Wiggins
Posted by Van Helsing at April 16, 2006 2:02 PM
Comments
If Minelli can't say no, why don't someone offer him one of his own special cocktails.
Sheesh. Minelli's thinking is twisted to say the least. It's the National Socialist Workers' Party of Germany all over again.
Posted by: Anna at April 16, 2006 3:19 PM
I believe the Germans called them "useless eaters."
Posted by: phil at April 17, 2006 7:06 AM
I'm waiting for the inevitable TV ads:
"Ask your Doctor if SUICIDE is right for you"
Posted by: bill turner at April 17, 2006 9:16 AM
Anybody remember Aydes(pronounced AIDS) diet candy? It was around in the early 80s. It was supposed to work as an appetite suppressent. I still remember this TV ad of a pretty blonde babe holding up a box of this stuff, and saying, "GET AIDS!"
Posted by: phil at April 17, 2006 9:44 AM
I do remember the Aydes diet candy...my mother bought it once, and I always wondered why I couldn't try a piece because it was chocolate flavored...
As for the good Mr. Minnelli, if he's the president, why shouldn't he also be a client?
Posted by: Pam at April 17, 2006 9:18 PM
