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February 17, 2006
Moonbats Versus the Olympic Torch
Envirokooks should be awarded the gold medal for self-parody after their recent request that the Olympic Torch be turned down in honor of the absurd and useless Kyoto Protocol.
The flame consumes 1,500 cubic meters of natural gas per hour, no doubt traumatizing Gaia tremendously. But callous Olympic officials refuse to turn it down, for fear that it might go out after all these years. Not that they are turning up their noses at political correctness in Turin:
The main Olympic Village, housing 2,500 athletes, has a record amount of solar panels and low-energy light bulbs. In the mountains, special tracks around the luge run and ski jumping hill allow animals to pass through the area.
Hat tip: Wiggins
Posted by Van Helsing at February 17, 2006 12:07 PM
Comments
Here's a solution that's both earth and animal friendly.
Round up about 1,000 moonbats. Strap them in and insert a rubber hose up their rectum with super glue. Force feed them beans, cheetos, garlic, tofu, anything that produces large amounts of painful gas. Presto! Your source of "natural" gas for the olympic torch is provided....all gaia-friendly!
Posted by: Doug at February 17, 2006 1:29 PM
That depends on whether the beans, etc. are organic.
No GMO methane-precursors, please!
Posted by: prince of leaves at February 17, 2006 9:26 PM
And doesn't the Olympics itself win the gold medal for self-parody? The opening ceremony (as is usually the case) was a perfect "10.0" in the "Loony Performing Arts" category, thanks in part to the breathtaking and perfectly executed series of Transnationalist Twists.
Posted by: prince of leaves at February 17, 2006 9:39 PM
