« German Cannibal Sues | Main | PA State Senator Jim Ferlo and the Sheehan/Murtha Formula »
January 15, 2006
Vampire Runs For Governor
Self-proclaimed vampire Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey celebrated Friday the 13th last week by announcing his bid for Governor of Minnesota.
Lest readers mistake an actual vampire like Sharkey with the run-of-the-mill moonbats who run in most every election, there are significant differences. Sharkey is running on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans ticket, not the Democratic or Green. Unlike many moonbats, he doesn't hate Jesus — "I just hate God the Father," says Sharkey. As opposed to the liberal practice of coddling and finding excuses for murderers and child molesters, Sharkey promises to personally impale them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. He does not object to the Ten Commandments being displayed in government buildings.
All in all, Sharkey would almost certainly be an improvement over whomever the Democrats come up with. But Minnesota voters are advised to stick with Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty.
Hat tip: Wiggins
Posted by Van Helsing at January 15, 2006 11:50 AM
Comments
"Unlike many moonbats, he doesn't hate Jesus — "I just hate God the Father," says Sharkey. As opposed to the liberal practice of coddling and finding excuses for murderers and child molesters, Sharkey promises to personally impale them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. He does not object to the Ten Commandments being displayed in government buildings."
So he hates God The Father but not the Son? What about the Holy Spirit?
Impalement has to be one of the most grisly forms of execution - even worse than crucifixion.
http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/impale.html
Talk about a pain in the butt!
Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at January 15, 2006 2:13 PM
Finally, a law and order candidate I could support! Is he an old school Lugosi-type vampire
or a new school Anne Rice-type? Does he plan to do all of his executive work at night? If he can change into a bat, think of all the money the state will save on trips to Washington. He could just fly there himself.
Posted by: phil at January 16, 2006 1:13 PM
