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January 15, 2006
Vampire Runs For Governor
Posted by Dave Blount at January 15, 2006 11:50 AM
Self-proclaimed vampire Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey celebrated Friday the 13th last week by announcing his bid for Governor of Minnesota.
Lest readers mistake an actual vampire like Sharkey with the run-of-the-mill moonbats who run in most every election, there are significant differences. Sharkey is running on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans ticket, not the Democratic or Green. Unlike many moonbats, he doesn't hate Jesus — "I just hate God the Father," says Sharkey. As opposed to the liberal practice of coddling and finding excuses for murderers and child molesters, Sharkey promises to personally impale them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. He does not object to the Ten Commandments being displayed in government buildings.
All in all, Sharkey would almost certainly be an improvement over whomever the Democrats come up with. But Minnesota voters are advised to stick with Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty.
Hat tip: Wiggins
