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January 31, 2006
Cannibal Holocaust: The Alito Confirmation
Speaking out from the site BlameBush!, the esteemed Senator Ted Kennedy issued a dire warning concerning today's confirmation of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. An extract:
Barring a miracle, Samuel Alito will be confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States this Tuesday. Roe v. Wade will be repealed, and the clock will effectively be turned back 50 years to a time when women were herded like cattle into back alley abortion clinics and beaten with the King James Bible until they miscarried. Affirmative Action will be scrapped. Blacks will be thrown back into chains. Cub Scouts will go from door to door, spreading their message of hate and intolerance. There will be a bug in every telephone, a nativity scene in every park, and a heterosexual in every Showtime drama series. Dr. King's dream of justice and equality will succumb to George Bush's Great American Nightmare.
I've tried pleading with congressional Republicans. I've tried threatening them with a filibuster. I've even tried rolling around on the floor of the Senate until I got my way. Unfortunately, the close-minded conservatives who control Congress will simply not respond to reason. Therefore, I have no choice but to appeal to their primitive, apelike instinct for protecting the lives of children over the rights of the mother.
For every vote cast this Tuesday in favor of confirming Judge Alito, I, Senator Edward Kennedy, will eat one small child.
Sometimes a guy with Chappaquiddick Ted's moral integrity is forced to take drastic steps.
Not even shaking his fist would make Republicans listen.
Posted by Van Helsing at January 31, 2006 11:53 AM
Comments
On the topic of Cannibal Holocaust, ever seen the Ruggero Deodato film of that name?
Posted by: Leigh at February 1, 2006 12:41 AM
Oh yeah. Gruesome.
Posted by: Van Helsing at February 1, 2006 9:16 AM
