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December 9, 2005
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
PETA kooks seem to take themselves a little too seriously sometimes, but they do know how to have fun. When they aren't busy killing animals, they get up to stunts that put swallowing goldfish to shame. According to a recent press release, the latest entails repeatedly crossing the road in a wheelchair while dressed as a giant chicken in front of a KFC in Columbia, SC.
You can't blame the activists for being upset about KFC, if their allegations about the way the Colonel's minions treat chickens are true. They claim an investigation found slaughterhouse workers were actually killing the poor things. And all this time I thought slaughterhouses were a type of petting zoo. The slaughterhouse workers were also found guilty of "spitting tobacco in their eyes" — the chickens' eyes, not the activists'.
PETA's press release further supports the righteousness of their cause by listing some of the moral and intellectual titans who are on board with it, including Al Sharpton and Pamela Anderson.
Says PETA "Director of Vegan Campaigns" and open advocate of violence Bruce Friedrich,
If KFC employees abused cats or dogs the way they abuse chickens, they could be thrown in prison for felony charges of cruelty to animals.
Actually, if they wanted to abuse cats and dogs, they would probably quit working for KFC and join PETA.
Hat tip: Wiggins
Posted by Van Helsing at December 9, 2005 7:32 AM
Comments
When will PETA start attacking Chick-Fil-A, I wonder? Not only would they get to bash an evil cooked-chicken-product retailer, but those Gaia-worshipers would also be picking on those darn Christians.CFA (if you didn't know) are very Christian-centered and family-values-driven, in fact a rather RED enterprise in Buy Blue, last time I looked. Heaven forbid, they're even closed on Sundays.
Posted by: The MaryHunter at December 9, 2005 9:28 AM
ROTFLMAO!
What a bunch of clueless clodhoppers. If they treated people with half the "ethics" that they profess to espouse, they might approach being human themselves.
Posted by: Rick Moran at December 9, 2005 9:38 AM
The stunts are the points. PETA is just a scam to separate dumb liberals from their money. PETA's leadership lives like celebrities, while idiot volunteers perform the fundraising and administrative work. Street theater provides the publicity to perpetuate the cycle.
Posted by: V the K at December 9, 2005 11:17 AM
PeTA is nothing more than a ponzi scheme.
And since when has KFC run slaughterhouses...KFC employees aren't mistreating chickens, so how are they responsible?
Posted by: LC Triplenecksteel at December 9, 2005 1:48 PM
Next thing you know, they'll be protesting McDonald's for killing cows.
RWR
Posted by: RightWingRocker at December 9, 2005 3:09 PM
It would have been funny if the employees would have offered them some tasty chicken to go away. Of course, I'm not sure I'd want to go anywhere near a PETA nutbag, I could get hurt.
Posted by: Echotig at December 9, 2005 4:50 PM
I actually saw some of videos of the KFC chicken 'torture'. As much as this ol' hunter despises PETA, I didn't enjoy watching those slaughter house workers beating on the damn things. It was kind of ugly.
Still doesn't change the fact that the PETA crowd are lunatics.
Posted by: Junker at December 10, 2005 6:01 PM
PETA is out to ban foie gras, too. They've already had some success in California. Now they are moving on to Chicago.
Posted by: Abe of Lincoln at December 13, 2005 1:04 AM
