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November 11, 2005
Rather a Chimp Than a Jackass
When moonbats screech that President Bush is a "chimp," I wonder if they realize they are associating him with an animal that is not only highly intelligent, but three times stronger than a man and ferocious.
ABC News tells the story of St. James and LaDonna Davis, who rescued a chimp named Moe from Africa and raised him in their home, even eating and sleeping with him. The chimp served as the ring bearer at their wedding. Unfortunately, Moe brought a little bit of the jungle back with him to his new home in California, where he attacked a West Covina police officer.
That earned him a stay at the Animal Haven Ranch near Bakersfield. When his adoptive parents came to visit (no word on weather they brought a cake with a file baked into it), two other chimp inmates attacked St. James Davis and mauled him to within an inch of his life. He had his nose chewed off and genitals and limbs severely mangled. With more than two dozen surgeries behind him, he estimates he has 20 left to undergo. At one point doctors put him in an induced coma to help him heal.
LaDonna got off easy; she only had her thumb bitten off.
Surprisingly, no one blamed the violence on the lack of hiring preferences for chimpanzees.
Hat tip: Wiggins
Posted by Van Helsing at November 11, 2005 6:25 AM
Comments
Do you suppose that even a chimp could hire people that are actually qualified for the jobs they get? Dubya seems to have a huge problem with that.
Just like Dubya, chimps are good at distracting you from what is really going on by flinging poo and screeching.
Posted by: Rob B. at November 11, 2005 12:05 PM
Dubya seems to have a huge problem with that.
Which is why they've done soooo badly in... *is handed a note* Oh. Seems that they're actually doing pretty good.
Posted by: Archonix at November 12, 2005 5:45 AM
What's really sad is I looked at the picture and immediately thought: Bubbles, Macauley, Michael, and LaToya.
Posted by: V the K at November 12, 2005 6:42 PM
Hey Rob, is hiring your crooked real-estate and drug buddy cronies from Arkansas a better way to staff the White House?
Liberals are all scum and should be taken out and shot.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at November 13, 2005 12:13 AM
Hmmm. Perhaps shooting is a tad severe. But they should be ferociously tickled and caused to actually laugh, at which point they (so unused to proper, therapeutic laughter are they) will mess their pants from the great gushes of laugh gland hormones.
See, conservatives have the benefit of keeping our laugh glands well-exercised over time, through the existence of liberals. We don't normally have those great pent-up bursts of hormone to deal with.
Posted by: The MaryHunter at November 13, 2005 8:23 PM
