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November 29, 2005
CNN Founder Warns Bush May "Kill Everything on the Planet"
If his scheme to embroil the universe in an intergalactic battle with space aliens doesn't pan out, Bush may instead choose to destroy all life on the planet by launching a thermonuclear holocaust, if CNN founder and inveterate motormouth Ted Turner is to be believed.
Raving before a sparse audience at Kansas State University, Turner added further evidence that liberals are not living in the same decade as the rest of us by advocating nuclear disarmament lest an Earth-annihilating holocaust break out with Russia.
According to Turner, a nuclear war that would "kill everything on the planet" could take place at any moment, with President Bush at the helm.
"You have to question ... the president on a lot of decisions he's made," Turner warned. "He might just think launching those weapons would be a good thing to do."
The Mouth from the South opined that war is outdated — "You would think that we would have learned that in Vietnam." After thousands of years of human history, we have now discovered that all we have to do to resolve conflicts is give peace a chance.
Tragically, President Bush missed the memo on this, and may even now be plotting to destroy all life on Earth, for reasons that undoubtedly involve Halliburton and Jewish conspiracies.
Posted by Van Helsing at November 29, 2005 11:10 AM
Comments
Dear Ted, we learned war is not nice during French-Indians War, 1776, 1812, Civil War, Spanish-American War, WWI, WWII, Korea, and VietNam.
Unfortunately your communist/fascist buddies still think war is a good idea. Now shut up.
Posted by: Anna at November 29, 2005 11:55 AM
What a tool. Doesn't this pompous windbag own the "crescent network news"
Posted by: nikko at November 29, 2005 12:31 PM
That's not the Cresent News Network it's the Communist News Network.
Ted only need look at the looney left to see how the violence gene still runs in us, therefore disarming isn't the answer.
Posted by: Crazy Politico at November 29, 2005 12:41 PM
