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June 20, 2005

Kooky Conyers and His Kangaroo Court

As the Democratic Party continues its commendable efforts to drive all reasonable voters into the waiting arms of the Republicans, we don't want to let Dick Durbin and his Senate colleagues hog all the credit. John Conyers and friends have been doing some remarkable work in the House.

Last week Conyers and two dozen of his Democratic playmates, bored with the all the tedious grownup stuff going on upstairs, went down in the basement of the Capitol to play kangaroo court. C-SPAN even played along for awhile, televising their make-believe impeachment enquiry.

Conyers banged a gavel and got the other kids, I mean Congressmen, to call him "Mr. Chairman" as they pretended that a small conference room was the Judiciary Committee hearing room. Apparently aware that Conyers was making a complete fool of himself, his staff entreated him to end the session, but "Mr. Chairman" was having too much fun to listen.

Not surprisingly the playtime proceedings did not go well for President Bush, who was found to have gotten us into a war with the mild-mannered terrorists based on false pretenses. But the real villain turned out to be the sneaky Jews, who evidently have been pulling the President's strings to promote their own nefarious agenda of self-preservation.

An overflow crowd watched the hearing on TV at Democratic Party headquarters, where activists handed out documents supporting the theory that these same sneaky Jews were also behind 9/11. When the C-SPAN feed ended after only an hour, one activist shouted "Conspiracy!"

Other highlights of the event included someone accidentally turning off the lights, a flag getting knocked down, and a former State Department worker proposing that criminal charges be brought against Bush officials.

Fortunately for all of us, the Democrats are a minority; Conyers' little game was strictly a show trial, with no legal standing.

There was no word from Conyers on what happened to the turkeys his staff apparently stole from charity.

Hat tip: Little Green Footballs, with thanks to V the K of Caption This! for the tip.

Posted by Van Helsing at June 20, 2005 07:09 AM

Comments

So, a moonbat congressmen holds a pretend impeachment based on the very fishy and quite possibly fraudulent Downing Street Memo where they blamed 9-11 on an Israeli conspiracy.

Ya gotta love the 'reality-based community' don'tcha?

Posted by: V the K at June 20, 2005 01:54 PM

If thier lap dogs at C-SPAN turned them off after an hour, they must have been horrible.

Posted by: Eneils Bailey at June 20, 2005 07:08 PM

Well it certainly proves Conyers et al have a 'firm' grip on reality. The jury is still out on which reality we are talking about though.

Posted by: Anna at June 20, 2005 07:08 PM

Someone should alert Conyers to the secret Bush Hitlerburtonberger conspiracy to Destroy California with Tectonic Weaponry

HE HAS BEEN PLAYING WITH EARTHQUAKES THERE NOW FOR GONG ON 5 YEARS, MANY OF US HAVE BEEN WATCHING, AND IF YOU CAN LEAVE CALIFORNIA NOW DO IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THE SCUMBAG IS GOING TO CAUSE SOME MORE TECTONICS LIKE TSUNAMI BUT WORSE AND JUST DIMP A BUNCH OF YOUR STATE AND ALL YOU DEMOCRAT VOTERS RIGHT INTO THE DRINK. SAYONARA YA'ALL.

And the entry goes onto city Dennis Kucinich's anti-space-mind-control-weapon bill.

A finer example of 'the reality-based community' you'll be hard-pressed to find.

Posted by: V the K at June 20, 2005 10:27 PM

You guys have really divorced yourself from reality. Do you even care if what you say is true any more?

And it is customary to call any former chairman, Mr Chairman. That's the only correction you get for free. I'm looking forward to watching you. As more of the story gets out, your denials will undoubtably get more amusingly sad.

Posted by: t0m at June 20, 2005 11:45 PM

Hmm, we have a lunatic Congressman having a pretend impeachment proceeding at which the J-O-O-S were blamed. Where was Cynthia McKinney? Was her white coat with sleeves that tie in the back not back from the cleaners? Or was she just lying in the bottom of her aquarium digesting prey?

Posted by: V the K at June 21, 2005 11:34 AM

t0m, Thanks for appointing yourself to the role of "arbiter of truth and reality" for Moonbattery. I, for one, breathlessly await your every judgement of the folk's "truth and reality" here. ...Ummm...Yeah...Right. I hope you can peg the truthometer and realityometer.

Posted by: Eneils Bailey at June 21, 2005 11:41 AM

If I was a Republican, and I heard these accusations, I must say that I'd want to hear what these people are saying, instead of mocking them Dana Milbanks style and making yourself look like part of a coverup.

What do they have to lose by initiating an investigation? Chump.

Posted by: Chris at June 21, 2005 03:10 PM

Chris, if you WERE a Republican, you would lower the intelligence level of both parties. I did look at the article written by Dana Millbanks, and I don't think she was mocking them, just objectively reporting the facts. The Democrats only have thier intregity and self respect to lose, along with the next election.

Posted by: Eneils Bailey at June 21, 2005 04:16 PM