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June 20, 2005
Kooky Conyers and His Kangaroo Court
Posted by Dave Blount at June 20, 2005 7:09 AM
As the Democratic Party continues its commendable efforts to drive all reasonable voters into the waiting arms of the Republicans, we don't want to let Dick Durbin and his Senate colleagues hog all the credit. John Conyers and friends have been doing some remarkable work in the House.
Last week Conyers and two dozen of his Democratic playmates, bored with the all the tedious grownup stuff going on upstairs, went down in the basement of the Capitol to play kangaroo court. C-SPAN even played along for awhile, televising their make-believe impeachment enquiry.
Conyers banged a gavel and got the other kids, I mean Congressmen, to call him "Mr. Chairman" as they pretended that a small conference room was the Judiciary Committee hearing room. Apparently aware that Conyers was making a complete fool of himself, his staff entreated him to end the session, but "Mr. Chairman" was having too much fun to listen.
Not surprisingly the playtime proceedings did not go well for President Bush, who was found to have gotten us into a war with the mild-mannered terrorists based on false pretenses. But the real villain turned out to be the sneaky Jews, who evidently have been pulling the President's strings to promote their own nefarious agenda of self-preservation.
An overflow crowd watched the hearing on TV at Democratic Party headquarters, where activists handed out documents supporting the theory that these same sneaky Jews were also behind 9/11. When the C-SPAN feed ended after only an hour, one activist shouted "Conspiracy!"
Other highlights of the event included someone accidentally turning off the lights, a flag getting knocked down, and a former State Department worker proposing that criminal charges be brought against Bush officials.
Fortunately for all of us, the Democrats are a minority; Conyers' little game was strictly a show trial, with no legal standing.
There was no word from Conyers on what happened to the turkeys his staff apparently stole from charity.
Hat tip: Little Green Footballs, with thanks to V the K of Caption This! for the tip.
