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May 17, 2005

ACLU Comes to Aid of Talking Penis

Just when I thought the ACLU could not possibly sink any deeper into self-parody:

The same organization that has discovered that the First Amendment prohibits public references to Christianity has now asserted that the very same amendment makes it impermissible to prevent people from exposing their genitalia on television.

The Detroit Free Press reports that Timothy Huffman was convicted of indecent exposure after presenting his appendage to viewers of Grand Rapids' public-access cable channel GRTV. In the three-minute segment entitled "Dick Smart," his private parts performed as a wise-cracking puppet. His punishment was a minor wrist slap (one day in jail, a year probation, ordered to pay $1,035 in fines and court costs), but he is nonetheless appealing to the Michigan Supreme Court with the ACLU's aid and encouragement.

In explanation of his lewd behavior, Huffman said, "I thought it would be good exposure."

Hat tip: Stop the ACLU.

Posted by Van Helsing at May 17, 2005 12:36 PM


LOL What's next: ACLU's defense of public ping-pong-ball-shooting-with-(privates)?

Actually, if we keep them busy with this kind of stuff, maybe they'll have to drop persecuting Christianity and our Homeland generally.

Posted by: The MaryHunter at May 17, 2005 2:28 PM

If it wasn't really happening it would be funny. But I still can't resist snickering about this one.

Posted by: Jay at May 17, 2005 4:37 PM

Here, I thought it was gonna be Testacles, the penis mascot from UofV(?) who was made in protest of the Vagina Monologues...


Posted by: birdwoman at May 17, 2005 5:09 PM

FWIW many years ago one of my fellow law-school graduates (a 70's whack job now gone on to his greater reward, God rest his soul) was a staff attorney for the NJ ACLU. NJ beaches "down the Shore" are jealously regulated by the towns that own them, because they bring in lots of $$ over the summer. So picture his client getting arrested for indecent exposure when seen walking along the boardwalk with nothing on except a sock that covered his penis and testicles. That client claimed it was "freedom of expression" too. They lost.

Posted by: Redhand at May 17, 2005 5:52 PM

I think we shouldn't hold our breath waiting for the ACLU to come to the aid of Testaclese, the six-ft-tall, talking penis from Rhode Island. His free speech isn't the right kind, or rather, it is the right kind.

Posted by: Abe of Lincoln at May 17, 2005 7:39 PM

Great link, Abe. Good for a laugh. Hey, maybe the ACLU will defend Testaclese after all. It would offset some of their bad publicity by making them look more even-handed. And who would pass up a chance to see Testaclese testify in court?

Posted by: Van Helsing at May 17, 2005 8:00 PM

theocracy = good.
penis = bad.


Posted by: mike at May 18, 2005 3:25 AM

Good news! There's a brand new invention that makes this whole controversy irrelevant. It's a remote control device that you hold in your hand. If an offensive TV shows appears, press the channel selector button. Presto -- the offensive program is replaced by another show. If this next show is also offensive, press the button again. And so on.

Isn't this great? Now we don't need Big Government to come barging into everyone's homes and dictating what they can watch.

Posted by: Tom Harper at May 18, 2005 4:11 AM

Thanks a bunch. Now I can't get that old redneck comendy tune out of my head.

Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.

Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.
It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.

Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.
Now he sings,
Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.

Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.
Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever.

Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.
Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls.

Posted by: Jeremy at May 19, 2005 3:47 AM