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March 25, 2005

Jeremy Hinzman Proves There's Hope for Canada

Apparently Canada is getting tired of serving as the cesspool whenever America's lowlife decides to flush itself right out of the country.

Jeremy Hinzman — coward, US Army deserter, and traitor to the country he volunteered to serve — will be leaving the Great White North with a firmly planted boot print on his scrawny moonbat backside.

This specimen pulled his thumb out of his mouth long enough to whimper to Canada's Immigration and Refugee Board that he would have to take part in war crimes if he fought for his country, and that the liberation of Iraq was "illegal." But his shameful sniveling was in vain, as he was denied refugee status by the Canadian Government, which ruled that he had not made a convincing argument that he would face the persecution and/or cruel and unusual punishment he so richly deserves if sent home. The decision could affect at least eight and possibly many more of Hinzman's regrettable ilk.

Reports indicate that Hinzman's attorney — Vietnam draft-dodger Jeffrey House — is appealing, but I doubt I would find him appealing in the slightest. He is quoted by AP (as posted on both CNN and Newsday) as saying:

We don't believe that people should be imprisoned for doing what they believe is illegal.

Even coming out of a deserter's draft-dodging lawyer, that is quite a statement. Apparently someone tie-dyed his brain by drinking too much bong water.

Poor Hinzman could face up to 5 years in prison for desertion. In past wars, his kind were shot. A firing squad for deserters is a time-honored tradition that is beneficial to military discipline and morale. It is also just. Why should cowards live when heroes die?

To quote an Army (under)statement that came out after the ruling:

We are an Army serving a nation at war. Each of us volunteered to serve, and the vast majority serve honorably. AWOL and desertion are crimes that go against Army values, degrade unit readiness and, in a time of war, may put the lives of other soldiers at risk.

Brave people are dying to defend the country that Hinzman and friends slither away to badmouth from across the border. Here's hoping his five years pass slowly.


How can they expect Hinzman to keep a stiff upper lip? He has no upper lip.

Posted by Van Helsing at March 25, 2005 5:50 AM


Hazzah! Alas, dem Canucks have a long way to go...

Posted by: The MaryHunter at March 25, 2005 1:48 PM

"We don't believe that people should be imprisoned for doing what they believe is illegal."


(Reads; re-reads; re-re-reads; a loud ker-CHANK sounds from within Rabbit's brain and numerous cogs, gears, and sprockets are thrown at high velocity from his cute fuzzy ears.)

Thanks a lot...

Posted by: Supernatural Rabbit Scribe at March 26, 2005 11:22 AM

He got him a purty little mouth...whaddaya think we oughta do with him?


This little pussy is going to be someone's wife in Leavenworth about ten seconds after arrival-- getting shot in the ass with a 7.62X39 ain't half as bad as getting a shot in the ass from some guy named Raheem-- or so I would imagine.

Oh well-- Thankfully, I'll never have to find out. But he will.

Posted by: LC TripleNeckSteel at March 26, 2005 11:55 PM

Hinzman has got jail punk written all over him, all right. He's probably been fantasizing about Raheem for years. He might give his encounters with Raheem an extra charge by pretending he's atoning for the sins of the White Man.

Posted by: Van Helsing at March 27, 2005 10:59 AM