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January 23, 2005
The Six-Foot-Four Six-Year-Old Who Would Have Been President
"Show me a good loser," said Vince Lombardi, "and I'll show you a loser." Show me a terrible loser, and I'll show you a Democrat. But they make better losers than they would presidents. With each passing week we get an even better idea of how lucky we are that Hanoi John Kerry did not win the election.
When the election smoke first began to clear, Kerry proved that he could infuriate even other Democrats by having squirreled away as much as $60 million of campaign funds that were supposed to be used on his campaign or to help fellow Democrats.
Finally deciding he could part with some of the loot, he kicked in $200,000 to help finance the outrageous postelection shenanigans in the Washington State race for Governor, where the votes were recounted repeatedly until Democrat Christine Gregoire came out on top, an outcome made possible by counting 2000 more votes than there were voters. (This ongoing situation is being followed closely by Sound Politics.)
Kerry then traveled to Iraq, where he made heavy use of hyperbole to badmouth U.S. policy, intoning cadaverously for our enemies' benefit about "horrendous judgments," "unbelievable blunders," "enormous miscalculations," ad nauseam.
Having lifted the spirits of our troops, he moved on to Europe, where he pandered to the absurd notion that the French should be calling shots in Iraq after doing everything short of going to war to defend their ally Saddam Hussein. Describing the trip, the Detroit News noted that "Kerry has a high sympathy rating in France where polls ahead of the U.S. election showed that he would have won by a landslide if the French could vote."
Yet this man is still allowed to serve in the Senate.
Returning from his excursion, Kerry demonstrated the depths of his immaturity by voting against the indisputably qualified Condoleezza Rice's nomination as Secretary of State. The only other member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to do so was Barbara Boxer, who is so profoundly deranged that as of a couple weeks ago, she hadn't even admitted that Bush won the election. "His stand will have little effect as the Republican-led Senate is expected to vote by a big margin to confirm her," Reuters observed.
Apparently having developed a taste for more useful people's ankles, Kerry is now circulating an email letter pushing his petition that demands the resignation of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. According to Boston.com, it is not known how many people, if any, have signed the petition.
But for a few million votes, this petulant fool would have been our President. Let's count our blessings.

Posted by Van Helsing at January 23, 2005 8:47 AM
Comments
How kind of you, VanHelsing, to remind me exactly why I count my blessings every day.
The MaryHunter
Posted by: The MaryHunter at January 23, 2005 9:05 AM
Hard not to agree with most of these sentiments ---but your comment "Yet this man is still allowed to serve in the senate." is troubling. As a freedom loving conservative American you don't really believe that, do you?
Posted by: Harry at January 23, 2005 10:44 AM
Harry--
That remark wasn't exactly on the level. But being so loved by the French is a pretty serious fault. You wouldn't want Jerry Lewis in the Senate, would you?
--VH
Posted by: Van Helsing at January 23, 2005 1:14 PM
He serves because the people of Massachussetts consistently re-elect him. So, the real question is, what the hell is wrong with the voters in Massachussetts?
I mean, okay, the state I live in re-elected angry troll-doll Barbara Mikulski to the senate. The state I grew up in sent Debbi "Does Detroit" Stabenow to the senate, and she is several fries short of a happy meal. And my other home state gave us (Ugh) John McCain, so maybe I shouldn't be talking here.
But, come on... Senator "Do You Know Who I Am?" Kerry and Senator "Do You Know Where My Pants Are?" Kennedy? You've got to be kidding me.
Posted by: V the K at January 23, 2005 3:28 PM

