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December 27, 2004
Pharmaceutical Industry Braces for Attack
Limousine leftist conspicuous consumer extraordinaire and moonbat icon Michael Moore is reportedly planning an assault on the pharmaceutical industry. In an effort to prevent the corpulent propagandist from molesting innocent receptionists, at least six drug companies have released internal communications warning employees to be on the lookout.
Drug companies present a natural target for Moore. After all, the products they develop save millions of lives around the world, significantly extend our longevity, and make life endurable for patients suffering from a wide variety of horrible diseases. In time, if allowed the opportunity, pharmaceutical companies will no doubt find cures for cancer and AIDS. If they don't, who else will? So it follows that a man depraved enough to regard al-Zirqawi and company to be heroes comparable to America's Founding Fathers would consider these companies to be a scourge.
The symbiosis between moonbat activists and vampires of the John Edwards stripe couldn't be clearer. If the point of an information war against the drug-makers isn't to soften them up for some lucrative lawsuits, what could it be? It isn't as if Moore won't be dipping into the medicine cabinet after his gluttony lands him in the ER with a heart attack. The campaign against the makers of breast implants serves as a model. After demonizing Dow Corning for oppressing women by giving them the implants they wanted, sweeping in to bleed them into bankruptcy with a bogus lawsuit was as easy as sucking blood from a baby. The biggest cut of the loot goes to the lawyers, who pay massive kickbacks to the DNC (after all, it isn't Republicans standing in the way of tort reform), who in turn are willing to treat even scum like Moore as if he were a respectable human being -- for example, by seating him prominently at the Democratic Convention.
But will the audience buy the concept of drug-makers, who have worked such miracles to improve our lives, as the bad guys? I guess we would, if, as Moore believes, Americans "are possibly the dumbest people on the planet." And if we don't buy it, the Europeans are sure to. After the thousands of people who are paid good wages by these companies are thrown out of work, he might do another documentary on how their lives have been blighted by capitalism.
Moore might hope to provide as much inspiration to ambulance-chasing parasites as he already has to terrorists, whose help he has accepted in distributing his anti-American propaganda among potential recruits.
Apparently Moore has gotten word that drug-company security may be ready for him, because he has recently altered his appearance, going so far as to shave and visit a barber. It must be said, his looks have improved.
In related news, Moore has revealed that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is plotting to deny him an Academy Award for Best Picture for his schlocumentary defaming President Bush. Previously it had been rumored that this same VRWC had poisoned Moore with dioxin, but as reported by Sean Gleeson, it was not dioxin but probably bean dip, and came right off with a washcloth.
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Posted by Van Helsing at December 27, 2004 8:49 PM
