May 9, 2008
Global Warming Inflicted Cool April
Uh oh: It looks like global warming is causing global cooling, just as we were warned. From the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration:
The average temperature in April 2008 was 51.0 F. This was -1.0 F cooler than the 1901-2000 (20th century) average, the 29th coolest April in 114 years.
If it gets any hotter, we'll all freeze. I suggest giving the United Nations absolute authority to dictate the weather before it's too late.
On a tip from Bill V.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:48 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Even Homeless Will Have to Lower Their Standard of Living
In honor of the global warming farce, both O'Bigot and Shrillary have declared we must lower America's harmless carbon emissions by 80% by 2050. To get an idea of how large an effect this would have on our standard of living, consider that the average American could produce no more than 2.5 tons. Right now, derelicts who eat in soup kitchens and sleep in homeless shelters emit 8.5 tons.
They'll have to cut back their sumptuous lifestyle considerably. Fortunately by 2050 our increasingly powerful government will be in a position to make sure they tread lightly upon the Earth, because otherwise some might be too selfish to give up their luxuries for Gaia.
Hat tip: The Corner; on a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Chef Gordon Ramsay Calls for Gastronomic Totalitarianism
There isn't much that moonbats wouldn't place under the control of the State — including which fruits and vegetables we eat:
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay says British restaurants should be fined if they serve fruit and vegetables which are not in season. He told the BBC that fruit and vegetables should be locally-sourced and only on menus when in season. Mr Ramsay said he had already spoken to Prime Minister Gordon Brown about outlawing out-of-season produce.
Regulating when we can eat which fruits and vegetables would allegedly reduce harmless carbon emissions, which is the justification-du-jour for most every pointless encroachment on individual liberty.
Dictates Ramsay:
I don't want to see asparagus on in the middle of December. I don't want to see strawberries from Kenya in the middle of March. I want to see it home grown.
Tough luck for Kenyan farmers. But then, if moonbats could care less what happens to Africans, they wouldn't restrict DDT, which used to save millions of them from death by malaria.
As he shoves his way toward the front of the fashionable envirofascism train, Ramsay bemoans that Britain follows trends and fads when it comes to food. Carried away by his stylish rhetoric, he gasps:
There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only. If we don't restrict our movements within this industry of seasonal-produce only, then the whole thing will spiral out of control.
Clearly we'll need to impose martial law if people don't stop desecrating Gaia with those Kenyan strawberries.
On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR.
Posted by Van Helsing at 6:26 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Marine Recruiting Office to Be Besieged by Witches
Attention skanky, middle-aged moonbats with nothing better to do than relive your spoilt childhoods! The following call has been issued by the Bay Area chapter of Code Pink, which continues its siege of the Marines recruiting office in Berkeley:
Witches, Crones, Sirens come to the MRS [Marines recruiting station] today to cast spells, weave magic, invoke the foremothers, share wisdom, lead rituals to banish war and violence and to bring peace to the MRS, to protect our youth from the powerful spells of pro-war forces, to lead the men of the marine recruiting station off into the oceans of peace! Some witches, crones and sirens are willing to risk arrest, others are not. We call on all crones, witches and sirens to come to the MRS, to bring your energy, your wisdom, your fierce determination to end war now and bring peace to our world. Contact Kali at sylviasoven@yahoo.com or Marie at keeptahoepink@yahoo.com
Code Stink stunts have been poorly attended lately. Calls for us to surrender a war we're winning don't seem to resonate. But today's crowd may be a little more impressive, because Move America Forward will be joining in with an event of its own:
We're calling it a "Witch-Hunt" and we ask you to join us this FRIDAY, May 9th at the Berkeley Marine Recruiting Center. We'll be out there from 8:00 AM - 12:00 Noon and ask you to come and join us for part of the time, or all of the time if you can spare the time.
Hunting witches at a Code Pinko rally doesn't sound like much of a challenge, but it still ought to be fun. Too bad they don't do the thing with the stakes anymore.
On tips from Charles, Kevin R, General Jack D. Ripper, Burning Hot, and mega.
Posted by Van Helsing at 5:52 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
May 8, 2008
Moonbat Still
Enterprising capitalists continue to exploit the enviromoonbattery craze. The latest ingenious new product is The Micro Fueler:
This morning, the E-Fuel Corporation, a Silicon Valley startup, introduced the first ethanol refinery system designed for home use. The Micro Fueler, a backyard fueling station, can create pure E100 ethanol from sugar feed stock. "It's third-grade science," says Thomas Quinn, founder and CEO of E-Fuel. "You just mix together water, sugar and yeast, and in a few hours, you start getting ethanol." The $9995 Micro Fueler […] can fill its own 35-gallon tank in about a week by fermenting the sugar, water and yeast internally, then separating out the water through a membrane filter. […] The Micro Fueler can produce a gallon of ethanol from about 10 gallons of sugar.
Quinn proclaims that ethanol "is really the people's fuel." But outside of Washington and Hollywood, he'll find few people wacky enough to trade 10 gallons of sugar for one of subpar fuel.
On a tip from Steve.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:44 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)
The Magic of Staging
Check out the big crowd Barack O'Bigot drew at the Reynolds Coliseum at North Carolina State. The place holds 12,400!
Now check it out from a perspective the MSM would rather you not see.
A gaping chasm between the artfully suggested and the actual sums up the Obama campaign.
Via Mary Katharine Ham; hat tip: Cristy Li.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:50 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)
Environmental Doomsayers Have Been Wrong Many Times Before
Every day the media screams about some new terrifying prediction having to do with the nonexistent global warming crisis. Although the smart hoaxers predict catastrophes far down the road, quite a few doomsday prophesies have already proven false. Walter E. Williams lists a few:
At the first Earth Day celebration, in 1969, environmentalist Nigel Calder warned, "The threat of a new ice age must now stand alongside nuclear war as a likely source of wholesale death and misery for mankind." C.C. Wallen of the World Meteorological Organization said, "The cooling since 1940 has been large enough and consistent enough that it will not soon be reversed." In 1968, Professor Paul Ehrlich, Vice President Gore's hero and mentor, predicted there would be a major food shortage in the U.S. and "in the 1970s … hundreds of millions of people are going to starve to death." Ehrlich forecasted that 65 million Americans would die of starvation between 1980 and 1989, and by 1999 the U.S. population would have declined to 22.6 million. Ehrlich's predictions about England were gloomier: "If I were a gambler, I would take even money that England will not exist in the year 2000."
In 1972, a report was written for the Club of Rome warning the world would run out of gold by 1981, mercury and silver by 1985, tin by 1987 and petroleum, copper, lead and natural gas by 1992. Gordon Taylor, in his 1970 book "The Doomsday Book," said Americans were using 50 percent of the world's resources and "by 2000 they [Americans] will, if permitted, be using all of them." In 1975, the Environmental Fund took out full-page ads warning, "The World as we know it will likely be ruined by the year 2000."
Harvard University biologist George Wald in 1970 warned, "… civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind." That was the same year that Sen. Gaylord Nelson warned, in Look Magazine, that by 1995 "… somewhere between 75 and 85 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct."
Fortunately for global warming hoaxers, the liberals who drink their Kool-Aid are not known for their ability to learn from experience.
On a tip from Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:58 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
Moonbats Attempt to Explain Why Conservatives Are Happier
A pair of moonbats at New York University conducted a study to discover why conservatives are so much happier than liberals.
Is it because conservatives believe in a meaningful universe, not the bleak, random, nihilistic void of Darwinism? No.
Is it because conservatives haven't psychologically crippled themselves with learned helplessness, instead accepting responsibility for their own success or failure? No.
Is it because conservatives can aspire to their dreams, without incessantly wallowing in neurotic guilt? No.
Is it because conservatives don't hate themselves for being Caucasian, or for living in the greatest country in the history of the world? No.
Is it because conservatives generally don't have to live with themselves after killing their own children? No.
Is it because conservatives understand that being human means they have intrinsic value, unlike liberals who can't tell a human from an animal or even a plant? No.
Conservatives rationalize social and economic inequalities.
In other words, conservatives are happy because they're too evil to care about the poor. Maybe in their follow-up research, these mopey idiots can explain why conservatives give much more to charity than liberals do.
Hat tip: NewsBusters; on a tip from Cheetah.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:30 AM | Comments (18) | TrackBack (0)
Detroit Mayor Denies Cross-Dressing Performance
As if New Mogadishu Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick didn't have enough scandals with his perjury charges, attempts to bribe whistleblowing cops, and the dead stripper Tamara Greene, he's now created a new one by vociferously denying that he dressed as a girl in a school play in 1984.
Kilpatrick is the one in the red dress with the plunging neckline, fourth from the left:
His stirring performance in "Little Annie" at Dwight Rich Middle School in Lansing is still remembered by some. His name appears on the playbill. Yet mayoral spokeswoman Denise Tolliver denies he appeared in the play, and has threatened to sue The Hill for bringing the whole thing up, thereby assuring that the story gets wider media coverage. The technical term for this among public relations experts is "trying to put out fire with gasoline."
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:56 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
Senate Jacks Up Gas Prices
Think gas prices are too high? If so, it's a shame you're not in the Senate, which instead of lowering prices by lifting unnecessary drilling restrictions is effectively jacking them through the ceiling by raising taxes on oil companies:
Democrats in the Senate Wednesday unveiled a new energy package that would revoke $17 billion in tax breaks extended to big oil companies like Exxon Mobil Corp and slap a 25 percent windfall profits tax on firms that don't invest in new energy sources.
This is Harry Reid et al.'s idea of moving to lower prices. How stealing oil companies' profits and forcing them to pour what they have left down alternative energy rat holes will lower prices is left for voters to figure out.
On a tip from General Jack D. Ripper.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:25 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)
May 7, 2008
Raising the Bar
Byron York reports on a recent Michelle Obama speech in Charlotte. She explains why Obama Nation should share her bitterness toward America, and lays the groundwork for a massive tantrum if voters dare choose national survival over putting her nutty and underqualified husband in the White House:
Walking onstage to chants of "Yes, we can!" and "Fired up — ready to go!" she quickly gets to the heart of her message: There are forces out there who are trying to take away everything Barack has worked for. They — she doesn't mention anyone in particular but does refer to one "brand name politician" — are trying to win this election for themselves and thereby deny Obama the opportunity to move America to the mountaintop of hope. And they must be stopped.
"We've learned that we're still living in a time and in a nation where the bar is set, right?" she tells the crowd.
"That's right."
"They tell you all you need to do is do these things and you'll get to the bar — "
"Uh-huh."
"So you go about the business of doing those things — "
"Yes — "
Her husband has been doing just that, Obama explains — raising money, building an organization, winning caucuses, winning primaries, and amassing a large number of delegates. And yet he still hasn't won, because nothing is ever enough for those unnamed adversaries.
"You start working hard and sacrificing, and you think you're getting closer to the bar, you're working and you're struggling, you get right to that bar, you're reaching out for the bar, and then what happens?"
"They raise the bar!"
"They raise the bar. Raise the bar. Shift it to the side. Keep it just out of reach."
"Yes!"
"And that's just what's been happening in this race."
Mrs. Obama begins a long riff about how that is happening not just to her husband but to Americans as a whole, who are working hard only to find the benefits of their work kept just out of reach. "You know what happens when you live in a society where the vast majority of people are struggling every day to reach an ever-shifting and moving bar?" she asks. "You know what happens in that kind of society?"
"THEY GET FRUSTRATED!" yells a man in the audience.
That's right, Obama says. And that frustration leaves people isolated and afraid, and then "we pass on all that negative energy to the next generation."
A less constructive message would be difficult to imagine.
Michelle Obama admits that her test scores did not warrant her admission to Princeton, from where she moved on to take her comfy position among the wealthy elite. Presumably she owes her career to the mentality of affirmative action, without which no one would take Barack Obama's presidential bid even half seriously.
Many have worked hard to create the American Dream, so that the Obamas could have it handed to them as a reward for their politically correct ethnicity. But Michelle is still bitter, because it's not enough. The bar is raised, all right. Even if we turn over the country to Obama's band of racist neo-Marxists, we will still have to do more to expiate the sin of being Caucasian, and more and more and more, until we have nothing left to give.
On a tip from Matterhorn.
Posted by Van Helsing at 3:00 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack (0)
What Do You Mean, Weird?
From suburban New York, another inspirational tale of transsexual freakiness:
It wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision that drove Brewster High School student Michael Loscalzo to go to school dressed as a girl.
"Years of taking judgment made me decide to stick up for myself," said Loscalzo, 17. "All my life, people either said I was weird or that I was gay."
The Brewster High School sophomore recently revealed his secret about his desire to become a woman by going to class wearing makeup and feminine attire.
People thought he was weird or gay? Well, at least now they know better.
As a service to transsexual readers, a few fashion tips:
Yesterday, he had on a lace-trimmed tank top with a cropped sweater, jeans and women's boots that he accessorized with a green choker, matching bracelets and heavy black eyeliner. A bra could be seen under the spaghetti-strapped top that he stuffs with gel-like pasties.
School officials hastily deny that Michael would be suspended for showing up at school looking like Dr. Frank-N-Furter, although he did get a talking-to for wearing an "inappropiate" camisole. They haven't contacted his mom about the issue.
On a tip from Frank W.
Posted by Van Helsing at 12:49 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)
Politically Correct Bureauweenies Continue to Water Down What They Say
There's more on Washington's strategy of fighting Islamic terrorism by crossing out words in the Newspeak dictionary.
Not only have the words "jihadist" and "Islamofascism" been banned, bureaufools aren't even supposed to say "caliphate." Reestablishing the caliphate — a vast totalitarian empire under the thumb of Islamic law — is the ultimate objective of the Islamic terrorists from whom our government is supposed to protect us. The term "global totalitarian state" is to be used instead.
Now for the punch line. Squeaks Daniel Sutherland of the Department of Homeland Security Office for Civil Rights and Civil Liberties:
This is in no way an exercise in political correctness … we are not watering down what we say.
If they don't want to water down what they say, maybe they should erase "bureaucrat" from their lexicon and instead say "sniveling, lying, cowardly, useless invertebrate."
Hat tip: Jihad Watch, on a tip from Refuter of Liberal Vermin.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:55 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Job Openings at the Brown Berets de Aztlan
Racist thugs of the Hispanic persuasion are welcome to send their resumes to the Brown Berets de Aztlan, who are actively recruiting more "soldiers":
The Brown Berets de Aztlan have undertaken an active campaign to recruit more soldiers and form new chapters throughout Aztlan," said Chairman David Rico yesterday. "We will be having a series of presentations throughout the Southwest starting in San Diego on May 8, 2008," he added. […] After the recruitment campaign, the Brown Berets de Aztlan will be organizing caravans to the state of Arizona where our community is presently under siege by racists and other anti-immigrant elements.
The irony of a violent cult denouncing anyone who resists their race-obsessed agenda as "racist" is amusingly lost on militant moonbats.
At least we know John McCain is no racist. He will be attending this year's national convention of La Raza, a group that shares the Brown Berets' goal of purging Aztlan (Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Utah) of pasty-faced gringos and splitting it off from the USA.
Hat tip: Red Alerts.
Posted by Van Helsing at 11:16 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Emissions Trading Schemes: A Few of the Costs
BrookesNews.com provides an Australian perspective on some of the extravagant costs that will be imposed by emissions trading schemes (ETS). Highlights:
Staggering estimates of the costs of forcing industry to purchase permits to emit CO2 are just starting to emerge: Germany (100 billion euros), Australia (up to $22 billion), New Zealand ($4.5 billion). The amazing fact is that even though consumers in many countries will bear oppressive costs, there may be no reduction whatsoever in CO2 emissions, and no beneficial effects on the world climate.
That's only the direct cost.
But to administer the whole complicated scheme, with tentacles into every business in the land, will require a stifling bureaucratic overhead of administrators, consultants, regulators, statisticians, tax collectors, auditors, inspectors, enforcers and prosecutors. At a time when real industry is suffering from a shortage of labour and services, all of these people and resources will be sucked into an ETS black hole. This bureaucratic burden is yet another hidden tax.
Then to cope with the vast increase in green/red tape, the business world will build a matching unproductive empire of corporate bureaucrats charged with complying with all the new laws, statistics, reports, taxes, regulations and audits. All these morbid results will be followed by the growth of a parasitic class of traders, speculators and bankers already gearing up to profit from the creation of paper carbon credits — another addition to the hidden ETS tax burden paid for by consumers, taxpayers or shareholders.
Government's greenwashed greed will continue to hit us in the stomach:
The Ethanol Obsession is already diverting grains and other foods to produce motor fuel. This stupid policy of subsidising or mandating the use of ethanol and biofuels will gobble up rapidly increasing quantities of corn, wheat, oils and sugar. Farmers all over the world are diverting land from food production and destroying forest land to produce motor fuel.
An even more ominous threat to future food supplies is the growing plague of sterile carbon-credit plantations which are already smothering food farm land and native pastures at an alarming rate. Every farming community is watching with increasing alarm as families leave, food production ceases, farm houses are abandoned and the land is covered by a monoculture of unproductive artificial plantations. Once the ETS becomes operational, this destructive process will multiply. Some hungry future generation will have the job of eradicating this crop of woody weeds for a new race of pioneering farmers.
There is also the danger that emissions caps really will lower carbon emissions:
Even more insidious is the fact that schemes like carbon sequestration and carbon credit plantations will rob the atmosphere of the life-producing carbon dioxide. For 100 years, the green revolution has produced more food from the same land, partly because of the free carbon dioxide added to the atmosphere by burning carbon fuels.
An emphasis on inefficient power technology (biofuel, wind, solar, etc.) will lead to higher prices for electricity, essentially another tax. The economy will further suffer from the economic enterprises that are scrapped or mothballed because carbon taxes render them unprofitable.
Since international carbon trading schemes deliberately transfer money from productive countries to the Third World, those who are forced to pay for them will receive no benefit whatsoever — until their own economies have been reduced to Third World levels. Then we can all rejoice in our equality.
Hat tip: Dissecting Leftism.
Posted by Van Helsing at 10:28 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Barney Frank Promises to Cut Troops' Air Hose
Remember what the Dems did to our allies in South Vietnam? By cutting promised funding, they facilitated a communist takeover, leading the way to the boat people, the Killing Fields, and millions of deaths. Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), chairman of the House Financial Services committee, promises that if his fellow Dems win in November, he'll do the same to our troops fighting al Qaeda in Iraq.
Lisps Frank:
I will move to cut funding immediately. I have already done that. I voted against the war and voted to cut the funding. I would hope a Democratic president would put in place a plan that would begin a total withdrawal.
No serious person denies that the consequences would be catastrophic. But with the media's help, they can be hung around the neck of Republicans.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:32 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
Vegan Bondage Gear
Much as moonbats may hate capitalism, they can't help but participate in it by exploiting their own wacky fads for monetary gain. For example:
VeganErotica.com manufactures hand-crafted vegan bondage gear, whips, belts, harnesses, and other vegan leather (a.k.a. "pleather") items. We also sell vegan condoms and other sex products. By vegan, we mean 100% vegetarian, in that none of the items we sell contain animal products, were tested on animals, or whose production directly contributed to the suffering of animals.
A fortune awaits the first entrepreneur to sell bondage gear guaranteed not to cause global warming.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:20 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)
Why Not Try Stalinism?
Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D-PA) knows just how to lower gas prices without increasing supply or strengthening the dollar: expropriate "windfall profits" and then impose a Soviet-style government commission to regulate how much profit oil companies can make. In case the absurdity of this proposal isn't self-evident, Colin McNickle helps explain:
First, the more you tax something, the less you get of it. In this case, that means less domestically discovered and procured oil and refined gasoline and more foreign oil. Right-wing theory? Hardly. Review the data from the 1980s, the last time "windfall" oil profits were taxed:
Domestic production dropped between 3 percent and 6 percent and dependence on foreign oil increased between 8 percent and 16 percent, reported the Congressional Research Service. […]
Second, an analysis by the Tax Foundation (in 2005) found that, since 1977, governments collected tax revenues "more than twice the amount of domestic profits earned by major U.S. oil companies." Of course, Congressman Kanjorski's "windfall profits" levy would not apply to the only true "gouger" in this equation — state and federal governments.
Third, there are many other industries whose profits per dollar of sales equal or exceed those of Big Oil; they're not targeted by Kanjorksi. Apparently, "windfall" is in the blind eye of the tax 'em beholder, usually holding a lifetime membership in The Club for the Economic Ignorami.
Fourth, this concept of a "Reasonable Profits Board" is an incredibly slippery slope that, when applied by slippery politicos, could leave no business standing. Today, Big Oil; tomorrow, Big Software. Why risk any investment when the extent of your rewards is either predetermined by government or trampled by government when your enterprise is "too successful"?
The solution, as usual, is for the government to get out of the way:
Greater domestic drilling and refining capacity would go a long way to start fixing the problem. It also would send a strong message abroad and bolster the weak dollar, said to account for about $40 of each barrel of crude.
Once again the wisdom of Ronaldus Maximus is confirmed:
In the present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:31 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
AP's Notion of the "Far Right"
So far the most alarming thing about the absurd yet menacing Obama campaign is the insight it provides into the extreme left-wing ideology of the "mainstream" media that is trying to install this unqualified fanatic in the White House. As the media emerges from the closet in its tie-dyed T-shirts and Mao Zedong hats, it's becoming almost unsurprising that AP would imply that anyone who disagrees with the outlandish Roe v Wade decision is "the far right":
McCain, the eventual GOP nominee, promised to appoint judges in the mold of Roberts and Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, saying they would interpret the law strictly to curb the scope of their rulings. While McCain didn't mention abortion, the far right understands that such nominees would be likely to limit or perhaps overturn the Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion.
Roe v Wade is among the most blatant examples in our history of the Supreme Court seizing power to which it is not entitled and legislating from the bench. It risibly claims that the Founding Fathers granted us a "right" to kill our own children. The disastrous decision has resulted in tens of millions of deaths, and has undermined the democratic nature of our government. Yet if you oppose it, whether on humanitarian or constitutional grounds, you're the one who's a fanatic — according to the extremists who run the media.
Soon "the far right" will become even more outrageous by objecting to the Obama regime seizing property from Caucasians, as is already done back in his ancestral and ideological homeland.
Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Cheetah.
Posted by Van Helsing at 6:56 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Trinity United Kids Activity Book
Doug Ross @ Journal has acquired a copy of a Kids Activity Book from Barack Obama's deranged church. A couple of sample pages:
With all the fun Reverend Wrong has had — hopping around in front of his adoring audience, waving his arms and screaming "God damn America" — it's nice to see the younger children are enjoying themselves too.
On a tip from Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 6:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
